Energy – Page 6 – mardihumphreys.com

More Precious Than Gold

In a former life, I volunteered as a worship leader in the elementary ministry at a church in south metro Atlanta. (Fun fact: if you can motivate 5th grade boys to participate in worship, you can do anything.) At every service, we quoted our bullet-pointed mission statement. One of those bullets was The Golden Rule (TGR): Treat others the way you want to be treated. Flash forward to the present where a flaw in logic has reached my attention. TGR assumes others want to be treated the way I want to be treated. You know what assuming does (if not, DM me). Turns out, there is a better rule to follow: The Platinum Rule (TPR). It says: Treat others the way they want to be treated. How can following TPR help you interact with your work team?

Everyone has a unique personality, but a few common traits dominate. When you identify those traits, you can predict how to both communicate with colleagues and motivate them to do their best work. How do you find out how people want to be treated? First, you have to know your own behavioral style so you can adjust it to build rapport with those different from yours. Then, you can ask, observe, and experiment.

Ask

If you’re a manager, what are your direct reports’ goals, motivations, values, and learning styles? You can find out by having them take a personality assessment (DISC, CliftonStrengths, Ennegram, Meyers-Briggs, etc., there are a ton). The resulting data helps you better tailor employee incentives. For example, If money motivates Jack, giving him a raise should make him more productive. But, if Jill is motivated by a flexible schedule, giving her a four-day work week instead of a raise would make her more productive.

Observe

Identify a coworker who follows TGR. They are treating you the way they want to be treated. (Mind. Blown.) Look for patterns and habits. What is their vocabulary like? Do they openly share their feelings? Do they dress casually or more suit and tie? How is their workspace designed? Interact with them in various environments: meetings, social situations, continuing education training. For example: In a brainstorming meeting, who likes to throw all kinds of ideas out for group discussion and who likes to sit quietly and process one idea at a time?

Experiment

Make note of how your manager responds to public praise, a thank-you note, or when you make time for a huddle they request. Ask questions like,“Would you rather this conversation be a meeting or an email?” and “When you’re doing deep work will you turn your IM to Do Not Disturb so I know not to bother you, please?” Try different communication mediums and notice which they reply to the quickest: Email? Phone call? Text? IM? Video chat? In conversation, mirror their non-verbal cues. Do they relax? When you make people comfortable, they know, like, and trust you faster.

TPR requires more work than TGR, and brings more reward. TGR is easy because we know what we like, but for building relationships, TPR is better. How do you want to be treated? Please share in the comments.

What’s Not to Like?

Welcome to part two of the three part series: Know, Like, Trust. Last week we discussed how we want to be known. This week we’re talking about the importance of being liked. It reminds me of Sally Field accepting her Oscar for Places in the Heart. How can we attractively communicate both our values and our value propositions?

Make an Effort

Potential clients (PCs) work with individual problem solvers, not faceless companies. For example, let’s say you chose a primary care physician based on their affiliation with a hospital you like. During your appointment you have a bad experience with either the physician, nurse, tech, or front desk staff. You don’t go back because there are plenty of other physicians associated with the hospital you like. It’s a similar experience for our PCs. They want to know the people who represent our companies. They can only discern so much from success story pages on our websites, automated emails dripped into their inboxes, and video sales pitches. We have to make and maintain authentic, reciprocal relationships if we want glowing recommendations, positive reviews, quality referrals, and repeat business. These are the ingredients that protect our bottom lines. It takes a ton of energy to put the work into every interaction, every day. But, if we give PCs reasons to like us, (e.g., positive comments on their LinkedIn posts, an emailed link to an event you think they’ll enjoy, etc.) they will.

Be Approachable

Even if we don’t say the following sentences aloud, PCs can easily detect negative attitudes like:

Authoritative – “I’m smarter than you.”
Aloof – “I’m too cool for you.”
Abrupt – “I don’t have time for you.”

PCs open their lives to us. They’re considering using us as a resource to meet their needs at a time when they feel vulnerable. In conversations with us they’re wondering:

Is she listening to me?
Does she care how much pain I’m in?
Do her questions help me order my thoughts?
Are her illustrations relevant?
Is she just trying to make a sale?
After I purchase this, will she follow up to see if the solution worked?
If something goes wrong, can I count on her to fix it?
Does she have the best interest of my business at heart?

A good consultant is authentic, curious, and honest. To have a friend, you first have to be one.

Care

Best practice is offering our PCs space to unload the emotional baggage their problems have packed. To be liked, we have to care about their pain. Active listening is a great tool to demonstrate how much we care. Active listening requires more than our ears. It takes our:

Brains: How would we feel if we had this problem?
Eyes: What non-verbals do we observe (e.g., furrowed brow, crossed arms)?
Hands: We take notes both to prevent ourselves from interrupting and so we don’t forget the response forming in our heads.

PCs need partners they can count on, who are strong in the areas of their businesses where they are weak, and to come alongside them with the tools to grow their businesses. We want to form a team. Because when businesses support one another, everyone on the team wins.

When we make the effort to be approachable and to care, people like us. This is how businesses are sustained. This is how communities are built. What do you do to get PCs to like you? Please share your tips in the comments.

Entitled?

We may be at the tipping point for unusual job titles. Wizard of Lightbulb Moments, Problem Wrangler, and Creator of Happiness are a few I’ve seen lately. Full disclosure: my title is Change Agent. Working for a small business, I’m a Jack of All Trades, but that’s too long for a business card (my suggestion of Cat Herder was also rejected). Job titles are tricky. For example, when I was an Administrative Assistant, sometimes I was called Secretary. Oddly, no one ever asked me what cabinet post I held in the United States government. There are three categories of people to consider when choosing a job title: our organization, outsiders, and ourselves.

Organization

Titles can indicate the level of respect the organization assigns the job. For instance, employees at Disney Parks and Disney Stores are Cast Members. But, titles shouldn’t be inflated. For example, is a Janitor really a Sanitation Engineer? The company respects the employee, but finds the actual work of little value. When the work is respected, the title matters less.

Inflated job titles may boost an employee’s ego, but cost an organization credibility with clients. (Can you really make Senior Vice President at 23 years old?) Some companies use job titles to mark career paths (e.g., Associate to Manager to Director to VP), but internal level designations accompanied by clear goals and reporting structure (e.g., Level 1 is entry-level reporting to a department manager) may be better. Eliminating titles can force a company to get very specific about job descriptions and their commensurate compensation.

Some coworkers look at titles when choosing team members for collaboration. This can backfire if they choose to work with someone because she has Manager in her title instead of choosing someone with a lesser title, but who has a reputation for getting things done.

Outsiders

Generic titles (e.g., Sales Manager) don’t accurately reflect the holder’s combination of skills which should be changing at the pace of the technology they use. But, assigning titles to reflect an organization’s culture (e.g., Database Ninja) runs the risk of setting up communication barriers with potential clients. Scrum Master is a real job, but people outside the IT industry may not know what a Scrum Master does and feel too embarrassed to ask.

Our job titles influence future opportunities. They not only state what we do for the organization in a few words, they also reflect our position in the organization. For example, Media Associate is a more junior role than Media Manager. Stakeholders may feel more important working with a manager than with an associate.

Hiring managers also look for these distinctions. Progressive job titles (Associate, Manager, Director) in the same industry signal growth (learning and leadership). Titles may not matter at our current jobs, but if we look for another it will. We should consider including SEO keywords in our job titles so talent recruiters can find us.

Ourselves

Job titles provide social status. They can make us feel good about ourselves even when a fancy title (e.g. Senior Account Manager) is not attached to big money.

A title should both reflect what we do and how much responsibility we have. For example, a VP of Marketing will have more responsibility and experience than a Marketing Assistant but, inflating our job titles is dangerous. If we get hired to do something we say we can do, but really can’t, it not only damages our reputations, but also wastes both the hiring organization’s energy and our own.

How do you craft a job title that accurately and immediately represents what you do? Please share in the comments.

It’s Good to Have Hope

I’m hearing a lot of “Good riddance 2020,” as if at the stroke of midnight on Friday our current situation will magically vanish. Pretty to think so, but I reckon at 12:01AM on January 1, 2021, we’ll still be facing a global pandemic, social unrest, political infighting, an economic crisis, and murder hornets. Maybe I’m just a pessimist. You’ve probably attended more than one meeting where someone started a sentence with, “Hindsight being 20-20…” We’re rapidly approaching the time when 2020 will literally (and I don’t use that word often) be in hindsight. Instead of wishing it away, let’s decide what we can learn from it. Here is my Top 5 List of Things We Should Remember After 2020.

5. Going Out

Remember those health department ratings we used to ignore at the entrance to our favorite restaurant? We’ll be checking out those hygiene standards the next time we’re allowed to dine in. We’ve learned to make fun out of whatever is handy: board games, YouTube videos, a musical instrument; we should keep doing that. Quarantine squashed FOMO since there was no out to fear missing. We can normalize ditching happy hour in favor of personal development like learning a foreign language.

4. Travel

Remember what flying was like prior to September 11, 2001? Well, here we go again. Some pandemic travel restrictions may be permanent. Plus, CFOs’ eyes are now open to how much money their companies can save using virtual options for meetings, recruitment, and conventions. We can stop stocking up on travel-size toothpaste.

3. School

Remember parent-teacher conferences? Both parents and teachers had to take off work, arrange childcare, and cram months of learning issues into a ten minute meeting. The number of students failing their classes is on the rise since the shift to online learning. We can transition to parent-teacher teleconferences. Engaging in a ten minute 1:1 from wherever we are twice a month has to be more effective for parents, teachers, and students.

2. Work

Remember when essential workers were practically invisible? They taught our children, stocked our grocery shelves, repaired our roads, monitored our health, etc. While their contributions are still front and center, we can do the hard work of figuring out childcare, equal pay for equal work, and affordable healthcare, as a start.

1. Home

Remember when we only cleaned our homes when company was coming over? Now we disinfect every surface, every hand, and every package that enters our abode. While we can probably calm down a bit after mass vaccinations, regular hand-washing for 20 seconds is a good habit to hang on to.

2020 reminded us to slow down, buy from local small businesses, and everyone reacts to stress differently. For me, the hard lesson of 2020 is: It’s okay not to be okay. While it gives me opportunity to be strong when others are weak, I discovered it’s difficult for me to invite help when I’m weak. Let’s not be the guy who thinks he can control the uncontrollable. Someone needs to be vulnerable and admit he’s struggling. In 2021, let’s be him. Let’s be that guy.

What are some lessons you want to take with you when 2020 ends? Please share in the comments section.

You Can Do Hard Things

Merriam-Webster defines resilience as a noun meaning “1: the capability of a strained body to recover its size and shape after deformation caused especially by cohesive stress and 2: an ability to recover from or adjust easily to misfortune or change.” Thanks to the pandemic, I can apply both of these definitions to my life. 1: My strained body needs to recover its shape after the deformation caused by COVID-19’s cohesive stress. 2. I strive to adjust to pandemic-induced change, but the constant pivoting makes me nauseous.

TMI

For this discussion, let’s stick with the second definition. We talked about a form of resilience in this earlier post. Other ways to think of resilience are Viktor Frankl’s theory of Tragic Optimism, Friedrich Nietzsche’s adage what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, and even the Serenity Prayer. (I like Erma Bombeck’s version at the bottom of page 11.)

IRL

It’s physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausting to think about our ingrained routines and adjust them for COVID-19. For example: Let’s say you’re a mom with a husband and two kids, one school age and one younger. You work in an office and your husband is a trucker. Every morning pre-pandemic, you:

Kissed your husband goodbye
Dropped your younger child at daycare
Dropped your older child at school
Hit your favorite coffee shop
Went to the office

Now, your husband is constantly on the road, your children are home, and your favorite coffee shop is closed. You’re working from home, but need faster internet to accommodate both your teleconferences and your older child’s online school. Overwhelmed? Resilience is taking baby steps toward solutions.

Buy some quality coffee and make yourself a pot
Call your internet provider and upgrade your speed
Tell your husband you’ll be thinking about him while he’s on his route today
Color with your youngest
Listen to your oldest’s struggle with an assignment
Email your manager. How is he doing? What is the one thing he’d like you to accomplish today?

Whew, you did it! You made it through the day! Take a deep breath and relax.

FTW

COVID-19 fatigue is real. You can get through any trial when you know it’s going to end; like a pregnant woman in labor. With no end in sight, you have to adjust your goals. In his book, Survival Psychology, John Leach describes transitioning from short term survival behavior to long term survival behavior. It seems very similar to the grieving process (e.g., shock, denial, anger, acceptance). One key is self-discipline, but be careful of thinking in absolutes like, “I’ve blown my diet by eating one cookie, so I may as well eat the whole bag.” One lapse does not ruin anything. Try again. Another key is your value system. Keep reminding yourself who you are and what you do. For example, say out loud to yourself:

I’m (your name)
I’m a (what you do) for my clients (or team)
The most important task for me to accomplish today is (your number one priority)
The next step to getting it done is (you get the idea).

Silly? Maybe, but it helps you to both focus and prioritize. Filter your priority list through the company’s current mission statement, which may have shifted because of COVID-19. (E.g., your company went from producing rum to hand sanitizer.) The company’s purpose should drive your daily tasks.

How is your company helping you be resilient? Please share in the comments section.

Vuja de (This is Not a Typo)

As a result of COVID-19, a major employer in my community has decided to have their 1600 employees permanently work from home. This could signal the beginning of a mass transition to permanent remote work for many of us. Obviously, there are some jobs that cannot be done from home (waiter, mail carrier, fire fighter, etc.), but if you used to be in an office under the watchful eye of your supervisor and now she’s not in your residence dictating how you spend 40 hours a week, this is a chance to vuja de your role.

Vuja de means looking at something familiar in an unfamiliar way. Before the pandemic, did you feel limited? Did you have little control over how you did your job or what tasks you had to accomplish? The upheaval of quarantine is a logical time to explore aligning your passions, abilities, and standards with your job. For example: Let’s imagine your job is recruiting college seniors for internships. One of your tasks is to discuss next steps with them and answer their questions. Pre-COVID protocol was to spend hours at the office surprising them all individually with an unscheduled phone call. This is a perfect time to book a teleconference and invite a dozen interns to attend. This saves you time, allows recruits to meet whom they’ll work with, and prompts follow-up questions relevant to the whole group; questions no one thinks to ask when put on the spot during a spontaneous phone call.

We have an unprecedented opportunity to demonstrate we can adjust our positions to better fit both our strengths and our needs and still get our work done; in fact maybe even get more work done. At the beginning of sheltering from home, most employers were skeptical full-time employees would actually work the traditional 40 hours every week. Turns out, they were right. Research indicates employees are working longer to prove we’re actually productive. With a long term crisis on our hands, we’re compelled to view our jobs as flexible because the conditions under which we perform them have to be.

During this time of returning to the office, we can ask ourselves, “What needs to get done?” “When is the best time to do it?” “Where is the best place to do it?” For example, if you’re working on a budget report, and you need to concentrate, the best time and place for you may be 11:00PM in your home office while everyone else is asleep. But if you’re brainstorming ways to automate a client’s requisition process, you may need to be in the office with your team and a wall full of whiteboards. The tasks should dictate the schedule and venue and will likely produce a hybrid model of working from both home and the office.

It would be wise to document your responsibilities since sheltering at home began. What projects have you completed? How much time did you spend? Who worked with you? How did you communicate (e.g., in person or remote)? You can use this data to produce a case study for your manager proving the benefits, both to her and the company, of allowing you the freedom to vuja de your role.

How have you adjusted your job description during the pandemic? Please share in the comments section.

A Mind at Work

I got offended at work. I sought clarity from a couple outsiders. Both suggested I check my ego. Turns out, ego doesn’t always mean liking ourselves too much. Do you know ego also causes us to stay quiet to protect ourselves from perceived harm?

Fight or Flight

The fight or flight response kicks in whenever our sense of self is challenged. If we find our identity in our job and we’re asked to do something that’s not our job, (e.g., a CEO asked to serve coffee at a board meeting) our boundary is crossed and fight or flight activates. This could look like getting defensive, “I’m the CEO, not the barista.” Or, allowing the breach, “Do you want cream and sugar?” Ego can convince us to do things that undermine our success. For example: If I binge watch Hulu the night before a webinar instead of rehearsing, when I deliver a lousy presentation, I can blame Hulu instead of acknowledging my failure. If I give a lousy presentation, it’s unlikely I’ll be asked to give another one, thus preventing the possibility of future failure. Ego mitigates risk for us to protect our self-esteem, but that protection may deny us opportunity for future success.

Ego or Calling

Both feed ambition, produce comparable results, and spur us to work hard. Is calling healthy and ego not? Actually, they need to work together. Ego is our mind’s bodyguard. It protects us from worrying so much about what others think that we’re too paralyzed to make decisions. It’s the version of ourselves everyone sees. But its operating system is based on fear. Its tone is urgent, implying something bad will happen if we stop hammering away at the project. Ego needs to be balanced by calling. Calling is our authentic self. It whispers reminders of what we care about and encourages us to see our work through its filter.

Asset or Liability

The boss wants employees who get things done. She’s likely too busy with her own responsibilities to monitor ours. How will she know we do good work unless we tell her? Ego can help us track when we go above and beyond our job descriptions, especially when those efforts pay off big time for the company. This is not bragging. This is owning the fruits of our labor. If we have regular 1:1s with our managers, that is the time to shine, but if not, we can draw on ego to prepare a list for the next performance review. This is also a good time to use ego to inform our supervisors of our career development intentions. Going for a promotion? Use ego to voice that desire. It can help us illustrate how we already fulfill the responsibilities of the next title on the company’s career path.

Ego is a powerful tool and we need to wield it for good. If we can recognize when we’re in a situation that triggers ego, we can stop and question why. Then use it to navigate the situation. Do we need ego to cheerlead? (“I can do this hard thing.”) Or do we need it to go back in the tool box? (“I can let my team help me do this hard thing, and share the credit.”)

How have you focused your ego lately? Please share you story in the comments section.

Crumbs From Your Table

We’re celebrating Labor Day weekend, the national holiday acknowledging the contribution of American workers to the innovation, development, and strength of our economy. But not everyone who would like to be employed right now is thanks to COVID 19. And some employers are making the job search increasingly difficult by using a deception called breadcrumbing.

What Is It?

Typically associated with romantic relationships, breadcrumbing gained traction in business vocabulary during COVID-19. It’s when someone stays in contact just enough to keep us hanging onto hope for a relationship. In terms of job seeking, the company we interviewed with says it wants us, but keeps insisting it needs a little more time to make a decision.

What Does It Look Like?

I’ve attended two networking events during the past month where two job seekers, both furloughed by the pandemic, said potential employers are flirting with them, but seem to have no intention of hiring. One attendee said she’s applied for 75 positions since March, and only heard back from two or three. She doesn’t believe the other 70+ were interviewing or actively hiring. The other attendee said she’s also applied for several positions, and most of her results went like this: She gets notified a job has just been posted. She applies the same day. Two days later she gets a “We’ve gone with someone else” email. How can the company have made that decision within 48 hours? She suspects the job may not actually exist yet, and companies are either just fishing or amassing a pool of applicants for post-COVID-19 hires. Both job seekers are struggling with how demotivating this makes their searches.

What Is Going On?

In real estate terms, it’s a buyer’s market. There are more workers than jobs, so companies have the luxury of developing a roster. But other factors could be at play; HR may be holding things up. Payroll budgets may be getting tweaked; especially if the company is hiring for multiple positions. If the hiring manager and HR aren’t communicating about the hiring process, it will take longer. If the company has a policy of posting open positions externally, they may interview to fulfill the policy, while actually intending to hire an existing internal candidate. Maybe the company is trying to figure out what department the candidate will fit, the best role isn’t open, or it’s waiting to see if someone more qualified applies. Maybe the company is just plain disorganized.

What Can We Do?

Respectfully call out the hiring manager. “Our interview was two weeks ago. I have the impression the company is still interested, as am I, but I’m considering other offers. Can you please give me some idea of how close the company is to selecting a candidate?” Otherwise: network, network, network. It’s one of the best ways to vet job openings. Use LinkedIn contacts. Look for Zoom networking events as well as in person. Join groups. There are plenty to choose from. There are groups on social media (Facebook and LinkedIn come immediately to mind). There are industry groups (e.g., IT, manufacturing, sales, etc). There are special interest groups (e.g. Women in Business Networking, Chambers of Commerce), and Alumni groups.

Personally, I’ve connected friends seeking jobs with people in my networking groups who have open positions. If you are looking for employment, please direct message me. I’m happy to help.

Have you been breadcrumbed? Please share your story in the comments section.

In the Beginning

COVID-19 has cost some of my friends their jobs. After getting over the hurdle of finding a new position in a pandemic, now they have to adjust to new roles. Are you in the same situation? How can you successfully transition to your new company? Time to flex those soft skills like communication, emotional intelligence, and leadership.

Communication

However you want people to think of you (professional, kind, capable, etc), project those positive qualities from your very first interaction. Ideally, an on-site meeting will be arranged to introduce you to your team as part of your on-boarding, but if social distancing makes that impossible, on your first day, mask up and go around to greet them individually. Is your team remote? Request a teleconference. Ask each member about themselves, listen more than you talk, and take notes. Pay special attention to the way they talk about the company. It will give you insight into its culture. Coworkers are unlikely to be transparent since you’re a stranger, but you could ask: How does the team resolve conflicts? How does the company recognize success? How does your manager support your professional development goals?

Emotional Intelligence

Find out how your role interacts with everyone else’s. How do you support your team in their daily responsibilities? Offering to help is a good way to build trust, but be wary of coworkers trying to foist too many of their unwanted tasks onto you. It’s okay to respectfully establish boundaries. Identify someone you can go to with questions ranging from, “What is the dress code?” to “Is Sam asking me to do a task she is actually responsible for?” Ask your most important questions. For the ones that aren’t so important, try to find the answers on your own. Look through the employee handbook, internal website, and on-boarding materials. If you can’t find answers, make a list and ask the appropriate people later. You don’t have to have all the answers now, and it will give you a reason to follow up with new colleagues. If you ask a question via email, you can prevent repeatedly asking the same one. If one of your questions regards how soon you can take time off (either paid or unpaid), best practice is to work 90 days before requesting it. Beware of office gossips. This early in your employment, they can only hurt your reputation. If you had a specific way of handling your projects at your last job, this is the time to be flexible. Until you’ve earned both the company’s and your manager’s trust, don’t demand changes.

Leadership

At a mentoring event in January 2020, Cassie Barlow, an outstanding leader in workforce development, reminded us a new role isn’t new just for the employee; it’s a transition for the whole team. She offered this great advice when starting a new job:

First day: Find yourself in the organizational chart, learn names (use mnemonic devices (e.g., Melissa has red glasses) to help you remember), be humble, have a growth mindset, be curious.

First week: Get a job description; meet colleagues and figure out how to interact with them. Who likes email? Who’d rather get a phone call? Who needs to meet?

First month: Set expectations, metrics, and milestones with your manager. Set expectations, metrics, and milestones with your direct reports.

Do you have any advice for starting a new position? Please share it in the comments section.

Stalled Boundary

Last week during a local weather forecast, a meteorologist described the stationary front hanging over us. She explained there were two air masses competing for dominance and until one got strong enough to replace the other, it would continue to rain. Doesn’t this sound like some of our work relationships?!

Two Masses Competing for Dominance

The word seems to imply an attempt to isolate ourselves, but boundaries are guidelines we communicate so others know how to treat us. We’re stating the behaviors we’ll tolerate and those we won’t. We’re setting expectations for the team. If we have well defined boundaries, it takes assuming out. “No” is a powerful word, and we need to get comfortable using it. We want to get along with our coworkers. We don’t want to seem rude, ill-mannered, or not a team player; but anyone with the attitude, “It never hurts to ask,” has been told no before. People are going to think what they want about us (positive or negative) no matter what we do, so let’s say no to things that make us exhausted, disturbed, or resentful.

Both Equally Strong

We can’t make anyone respect our boundaries. All we can control is how we respond when they’re crossed. When we’re pushed to defend our boundaries, it’s an opportunity to articulate why they exist. Some boundaries are negotiable and being questioned about them helps us refine them. For example, Coworker: “Why didn’t you reply to the email I sent you yesterday?” Me: “Because I stop checking email at 7:00PM.” This encounter reminded me our boss sends emails at all hours. So I refined my boundary by setting up a rule in Outlook. When our boss emails me, Outlook sends me a text. A long justification of our boundaries isn’t necessary nor is it anyone’s business. If we offer too much explanation, we invite the encroacher to move it. Remember, turnabout is fair play. We should be mindful of our coworkers’ boundaries. How can we tell when we’ve crossed one if they won’t point it out? There may be visual social clues: heavy sighing, arm crossing, eyebrow raising. When I suspect I’ve crossed a boundary, I ask. “Do I sense a boundary? Oops, the line’s behind me. I crossed it again.”

Everyone Gets Rained On

We can’t afford to feel guilty about how our reasonable boundaries affect the peace of our team. Modeling calm, matter-of-fact boundary defense may be the best thing we can do for our team. When we hold a boundary, let’s observe our coworkers’ reactions. Are they inspired? Relieved? Annoyed? Scared? Their responses give us a major clue about the health of our teams’ communication. Do we need a culture shift? Is it time for one member to transfer to a different team? Let’s strive to foster an environment where coworkers feel safe to disagree and debate, but non-stop criticism doesn’t promote problem solving. Leaving the team or asking someone to leave is not a pleasant choice, but it’s important to remember the choice exists. We aren’t powerless.

What are some work boundaries you’ve had to defend? Please share them in the comments section.