Energy

That is Disappointing

When I have a negative experience at work it feels much like the grieving process (shock, denial, anger, acceptance). After feeling all the disappointment, I have to intentionally let that emotion go. Being preoccupied by disappointment can cause us to get stuck. Do any of the following sound familiar?

Taking Your Credit

During a brainstorming session, you share an original concept and your team enthusiastically supports it. At the official launch of the project your coworker presents the idea as their own. What do you do? First, control your emotions. Then gather your date and time-stamped notes just in case you have to prove it was your original idea. For example, flag emails and save meeting minutes (and any other records you can cite as evidence) in a folder on your desktop. Now pull the credit stealer aside and in a private 1:1 meeting say something as non-confrontational as possible like, “I’m happy the client is excited about our idea and I’m surprised you did not mention that it is our joint brainchild. As we move forward, what is your plan for sharing future credit?” If they don’t plan to share credit and if this person is a repeat offender, confidentially ask your manager how they would handle someone who presents other’s ideas as their own.

Losing a Client

When a client leaves it is a blow both to your confidence and your company’s bottom line. After pausing a minute to process the emotions, adopt a learning mindset and get curious. Analyze your data and ask yourself some questions. What went wrong and where? Was there a breakdown in communication? Did the client’s needs or expectations change unexpectedly? Get past the symptoms to pinpoint the root causes so you can prevent similar issues in the future. Take what you learn and apply it to the rest of your clients. For example, if the client left because what they received from you was wildly different than they expected, that indicates you may want to adjust your communication process with your other clients.

Denied the Promotion

You invested your time, energy, attention, and money into developing your skills and all that still was not enough to get the promotion you expected. Again, give yourself a moment to feel your disappointment, then get proactive. Seek feedback from your manager to understand why you weren’t selected. Was it lack of skills? Were the projects you worked on not visible enough to senior leadership? Do you need a sponsor? Determine which variables were in your control and fix those. Be open to constructive criticism and use it as a roadmap for next steps. Identify skills your organization values and strengthen those. Build relationships with people who will champion your work. Publicly committing to bounce back after this disappointment impresses your managers, inspires your coworkers, and makes you a more competitive candidate in the next round of promotions.

Festering disappointment can poison your work environment and stifle your personal growth. Overcoming it requires a combination of self-awareness, proactive communication, and resilience. You have to choose over and over again to control your emotions. With the right mindset and strategies like addressing issues head-on, learning from setbacks, and finding ways to turn negative circumstances into opportunities, you will emerge stronger.

What disappointments have you experienced at work? Please share how you overcame them in the comments.

Want to Know

Last week we began Let’s Get Critical, a four-part series on critical thinking, by defining what it is. Here in part two, let’s discuss why critical thinking is essential to your job performance.

Relationships

Business moves at the speed of trust. Active listening combined with critical thinking and empathy is one of the fastest ways to build trust. When you communicate your ideas clearly to your teammates, attentively listen to them, and respectfully debate with them, then your meetings are more likely to generate positive results. Building a safe space for everyone to contribute ideas not only facilitates effective productivity within your team but also across the organization. When you repeatedly give your subject matter expertise to anyone who asks for it everyone wants to know you.

Decisions

Critical thinking prevents knee-jerk reactions while helping you make wiser choices faster. Testing your assumptions breeds confidence because either you get confirmation that you are right or you find out you are wrong before you go telling a bunch of people. Identifying the various factors, considering their impact on people, processes, and performance, and predicting potential consequences for each all help you excel at solving problems efficiently. Banish the phrase, “because we’ve always done it that way,” from your mind. It squelches the culture of transformation your organization needs to survive. Instead make it a habit to question existing processes, listen to your team’s ideas, and propose low-risk experiments. Using critical thinking this way enables you to quickly grasp new concepts and adjust your strategies accordingly. This capability becomes more crucial as technology like Artificial Intelligence speeds up the pace of business evolution. Adapting to new challenges, identifying the opportunities in crises, and devising original conclusions require you to possess strong critical thinking skills because you have to navigate ambiguity, normalize change, and address challenges with clarity and precision. It is an organization’s critical thinkers who identify inefficiencies, brainstorm new ways to correct them, and drive the mission forward.

Future

Critical thinking is a power skill. It equips you with the tools and mindset necessary to thrive in today’s competitive job market. You help maintain a positive work environment conducive to productivity and innovation when you can:

Demonstrate your creative resourcefulness at problem solving
Think strategically and align your actions with your organization’s goals
Communicate complex concepts concisely and in easy-to-understand terms
Recognize when it is time to pivot, embrace change, and quickly learn new skills
Empathetically challenge both yours and others’ assumptions and welcome alternative perspectives
Actively seek feedback and regularly reflect on your experiences
De-escalate tensions, constructively resolve conflicts by seeking common ground, and facilitate meaningful dialogue to foster collaboration

For example, let’s say you are on a software development team troubleshooting a critical bug in a new application. Instead of resorting to quick fixes or assuming you know what is wrong, your team applies critical thinking skills to systematically diagnose the root cause of the issue. You conduct thorough analysis, dig through code repositories, and interview stakeholders to gather relevant information. Through rigorous testing and experimentation, you identify the underlying flaw, implement a sustainable solution, and document it to prevent similar issues from happening in the future.

Next week let’s talk about how you can demonstrate critical thinking skills to further your career. How does thinking critically help you do your job? Please share in the comments.

How Do You Know?

A few weeks ago, we talked about how valuable it is to tolerate being bad at something long enough to get good at it. Since then, I’ve been asked a few questions. I’ll address three of them here.

The answer to all three is: It depends.

Q: How can you tell if you will eventually be good at a skill or if you will always be bad at it and are just wasting your time?

A: It depends on your attitude. For example, let’s say you are learning to program in Python. Are you so into it that you lose track of time while debugging your code? When you receive constructive feedback on your work, are you excited to try the suggested fixes? After studying the language for a month, do you feel good about how far you have come even if it is not very far? If you answered yes to these questions, then you have enough evidence to safely predict you will eventually be good at programming in Python.

Q: Doesn’t getting good at a skill just take hard work?

A: It depends on your mindset. Someone running on a treadmill and someone running on the street are both working hard, but the runner on the treadmill doesn’t go anywhere. Getting good at something depends more on how you learn rather than on how hard you work. Going back to the Python example, you can learn the language by putting in long hours every day, memorizing syntax, and struggling through coding exercises without seeking help or feedback. Using this approach you will hit plateaus and your progress will be slow because you are just repeating tasks without understanding them. Instead, if you focus on unlearning the outdated language you are currently writing in, understanding the underlying principles of Python, seeking guidance from experienced programmers, and participating in projects at work to apply what you are learning, then you will grasp concepts faster, troubleshoot more efficiently, and advance more quickly in mastering Python.

Q: Is it ever too late to acquire new skills?

A: It depends on your character. Are you naturally curious? If not, are you willing to grow that trait? Are you self-disciplined and resilient? Continuing the Python example, to be good at it you not only have to hone your technical skills you must also develop emotional intelligence, perseverance, and teamwork skills to use it at your job. Also, what motivates you? Do you set achievable short-term goals for yourself? Do you schedule time to learn Python on your calendar? Do you view difficulties as opportunities to learn? Determining if you will be good at Python, or any skill, requires self-awareness, feedback, and adaptability.

How do you stay motivated to be a life-long learner? Please share in the comments.

Bad Blood

This is part two of four in the series: Independently Owned and Operated.

Disagreement over project management, differences in communication styles, and defensive personalities impact people, processes, and profits. When you let go of minor clashes with coworkers you prevent negative energy from impeding productivity for the entire team. But what do you do when you have ongoing conflict with a coworker?

Flip the Script

Conflict is inevitable in any workplace and it’s not always bad. If you expect it, then you are ready to do your part to constructively resolve it. Frame conflict in your mind as a learning opportunity. One of your most powerful tools to disrupt destructive patterns of conflict is active listening. When a conflict sparks, emotions run high, and communication breaks down. By actively listening to your teammate (make eye contact, nod in acknowledgment, paraphrase what you heard, and say it back to them) you demonstrate empathy and a genuine desire to understand their perspective. This not only ensures clarity, it also deescalates emotion. Take ownership of your part in the conflict. This is not an admission of guilt. It’s a declaration of empowerment. It demonstrates you have agency to shape the outcome. After actively listening to your coworker’s position, communicate your position in 30 seconds or less. Use “I” statements to avoid sounding accusatory. For example, say “I feel frustrated when…” instead of “You always do…” Receive their feedback as objectively as possible.

Walk a Mile

Put yourself in your teammate’s shoes. What is driving their behavior? What do they have at stake? Understanding their motivation helps you find common ground. Conflict resolution is not about winning or losing. It’s about working together to move forward. Acknowledge, assume, and appreciate that you both want the best solution to the conflict. If they did not care, then there would not be conflict so get curious. Is it possible to collaborate for a win-win outcome? Can merging your different perspectives address the root cause of your on-going conflict? It’s likely the solution you reach together will be stronger than a solution either of you will achieve on your own.

Recruit a Referee

You may not be able to resolve on-going conflict on your own. When it seems insurmountable, it’s time to bring in a neutral third party, like your manager or someone from HR. Ask them to facilitate a structured conversation. This needs to be a safe space for open communication and a confidential discussion. Do not jump to conclusions or assign blame. Do acknowledge your part in the situation and ask for honest feedback. The third party is removed from the emotion of the conflict and they have a higher-level view of it than both you and your teammate. This, combined with their experience, enables them to give you new ideas for resolution.

Continuous Improvement

Every conflict offers opportunity for personal and professional growth. Make time to reflect on the conflict resolution process. What worked well? What could be improved? What do you wish you’d done or said? What do you wish you had not done or said? Use each experience to refine your skills. Conflicts don’t have to be roadblocks. You can make them stepping stones to success.

Are you in conflict with a coworker? How are you working through it? Please share in the comments.

Your Top 12

Thank you for spending 2023 with me! As we begin a new year together, here are the top three articles in each category: Time, Energy, Attention, and Money (T.E.A.M.), based on the most views.

Time

Attention

Money

I appreciate you discussing these topics with me in 2023. I hope you found them useful. There are more in store for 2024!

What decisions around time, energy, attention, and money are you facing in the new year? Please share in the comments.

Passion Pitfalls

“Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life,” Confucius said. Or Mark Anthony said or Mark Twain said depending on which Googled source you believe. In the mid-1990s the phrase “follow your passion” became popular advice to job seekers looking for their right career. But people who know about careers, like Mark Cuban and Cal Newport, disagree with that advice. Will following your passion lead to career success or is there a better path?

Pitfalls

One of the major issues with the “follow your passion” advice is your passion may not align with the skills and competencies the job market requires. For example, just because you are passionate about playing video games does not mean that you have the skills necessary to be a professional gamer, game developer, or game script writer. Another downside of pursuing your passion as a career is that it blurs the line between work and leisure. When a passion becomes a job, the pressure to both perform and to pay your bills detracts from the original joy the passion generated. Additionally, the belief that doing what you love guarantees success can lead to unrealistic expectations. The job market is harsh. Repeated rejection leaves you disappointed, disillusioned, and burns out your passion. Relying solely on your current passion is dangerous because it changes over time. As you develop new interests you may soon find yourself in a career that no longer aligns with your passion.

Prudence

Instead of following your passion, evaluate where you spend your time and effort. What tasks do you perform really well? What activities do you love? What skills do you enjoy improving? The answers help you discover what you are genuinely good at and allow you to bridge the gap between your interests and practical competencies. For example, if you write code in Python for fun, this may be an expertise you want to intentionally grow and obtain certifications for. Spending your free time to hone specific skills is a strong indicator of both your aptitude and potential for career success in that passion.

Practice

Once you have identified your strengths and skills, seek job opportunities that align with them. Look for roles and industries where your natural talents and proficiency can shine. Continuous learning is vital for staying competitive in today’s ever-evolving job market. Dedicate time and effort to training and practical experience so you can further develop the talents you pinpointed. Keep your eyes open for new roles that may not have been on your radar initially but are closely related to the competencies and interests you defined. Being flexible can lead to exciting career paths you may not have otherwise considered.

Relying solely on your fickle passion is risky business for career planning. Evaluating where you spend your time and energy is a more accurate gauge of the jobs you would both like and be good at.

How does your job play to your strengths? Please share in the comments.

Take the Stage

We talk a lot about mindset because it’s one of the keys to making wise choices. This week, let’s explore “main character energy” mindset. What is it? How can you use it to advance your career?

What It Is

In a play, novel, or movie, the main character is the focal point of the story. Their actions drive the plot forward. Main character energy (MCE) is seeing yourself as the central character in your life’s story. It encourages you to step into your own narrative and acknowledge that your choices and behaviors are instrumental in shaping your future. Here are some key characteristics of MCE.

Self-Aware: Main characters understand their strengths, weaknesses, and values. They use their past experiences as stepping stones for growth.
Proactive: Main characters create opportunities and take calculated risks. They realize setbacks are a part of life and bouncing back is necessary.
Change: Main characters evolve throughout their stories, adapting to new situations and growing from their experiences. They are open to change and embrace it as a chance for continuous improvement.
Purpose-Driven: Main characters have a goal, a mission, or a vision that guides their actions and decisions.
Confident: Main characters believe in themselves and their abilities, even when faced with doubt or criticism.
Accountable: Main characters don’t blame external factors. Instead, they take responsibility for both their behavior and their choices. They own their mistakes, learn from them, and use them to move forward.

How to Use It

Self-Awareness: Reflect on your strengths, weaknesses, and values. Understand what motivates you, what you’re good at, and what you’re passionate about in your career.
Initiative: Don’t wait for opportunities to come to you; create them. Seek out high-visibility projects. Build your skills with trainings that align with your goals.
Purpose: Ask yourself what you want to achieve and why it matters to you. Clarify your purpose and set clear career objectives.
Vision: Just like a main character embarks on a quest, visualize your career journey. Where do you want to be? How can you get there from where you are? Break the path down into achievable milestones.
Challenges: Use the difficulty. Instead of avoiding challenges, embrace them as opportunities to showcase your resilience and problem-solving abilities. Main characters mature throughout the story. Have a positive attitude when adapting to new situations and hold yourself accountable for your decisions and performance..
Self-esteem: When you doubt yourself, pull up your Atta Baby! file and remember your achievements. If you’re struggling, find a career coach.
Network: Main characters often rely on allies and mentors. Connect with people who can support your career journey, provide guidance, and open doors.
Celebrate: Acknowledge and celebrate your career achievements, no matter how small. Main characters draw on these recognitions to keep going.

Your career is a major plot line in your worklife story. Write it according to your vision and goals. Embrace your role as the main character and make your story matter.

How do you portray yourself to yourself in your worklife story? Please share in the comments.

Mindset over Matters

I was watching American Ninja Warrior when one of the ninjas fell off the Las Vegas course. She had gotten really far and it was a heartbreaker. As the ninja pulled herself out of the pool of water that broke her fall, the show’s interviewer approached and asked her how she felt. The ninja said she intended to use this setback as a push forward. Mind. Blown.

We’ve talked about how setbacks are inevitable, and how we should embrace failing fast, forward, and frequently. We’ve discussed how data gathered from perceived failure is crucial to the learning process. But we have not championed the mindset of framing setbacks as pushes forward. When you substitute the words “push forward” for the word “setback” you normalize the occurrence. You remove the shame surrounding it. Relabeling the undesired outcome helps you quickly pivot from crisis mode to troubleshooting. To further illustrate, here are a couple of quotes that crossed my path this week.

“I have learned to always push forward following a setback. As I tell my team (and my kids), ‘There is always a way forward’ even when things do not seem to be going our way. There are always lessons to be learned from mistakes. But at some point, it becomes unproductive and unhelpful to dwell on mistakes for too long — backward-looking thinking must quickly give way to forward-looking action. I have adopted one of the sayings from Peraton’s CEO Stu Shea: ‘Surround the problem.’ When my team hits a setback, we work together to stabilize the situation, understand what occurred, and then identify and mobilize the right people and resources to ‘surround the problem’ and move us forward.”
Jim Winner, Executive Chief Legal Officer and General Counsel at Peraton.

“I was rehearsing a play when I was a very young actor. There was an improvised scene between a husband and wife going on inside. They got carried away and they started throwing things and he threw a chair and it lodged in the doorway and I went to open the door and I’d just got my head round and I said, ‘I’m sorry, sir, I can’t get in.’ He said, ‘What do you mean?’ I said, ‘There’s a chair there.’ He said to me, ‘Use the difficulty.’ I said, ‘What do you mean?’ He said, ‘Well, if it’s a comedy, fall over it. If it’s a drama, pick it up and smash it. Use the difficulty.’ Now, I took that into my own life. You ask my children. Directly anything bad happens, they go, ‘Gotta use the difficulty. What can we get out of this?’ Use the difficulty. There’s never anything so bad that you cannot use that difficulty. If you can use it a quarter of one percent to your advantage, you’re ahead. You didn’t let it get you down. That’s my philosophy. Use the difficulty. Also, added philosophy, avoid them if you can at all costs.”
Sir Michael Caine CBE

The next time you are at work and about to say out loud, “We’ve hit a setback,” stop and think. If you substitute the words “push forward” for the word “setback,” how would it motivate your team to surround the problem and use the difficulty? Please share in the comments.

Busy ≠ Productive

I love my to-do lists. Mostly, I love crossing things off them. I even have a to-done list. Yes, I realize I need therapy. Since admitting that I have a problem is the first step to recovery, what exactly is the problem I’m trying to solve? To-do lists are a symptom. The desire to feel productive is my problem. In his book, The Power of Habit, Charles Duhigg says, “Productivity isn’t about getting things done. It’s about getting the right things done.” How do you know that you are productive and not just busy?

Prioritize

Are you constantly putting out fires? Then you are prioritizing the urgent over the important. So, consider setting boundaries around your priorities.

How do you know what your priorities are? Read your organization’s vision and/or mission statement. Your goals should align with your company’s vision and your objectives should help your company accomplish its mission.
You will have multiple objectives. Figure out what to do first by using the Eisenhower Matrix. Identify the most important thing to accomplish and calendar time for it.
Then, allocate specific time blocks for different types of tasks. For example, designate focused work sessions for high-priority projects and separate periods for emails and administrative work.
You don’t have to do everything yourself. Concentrate on completing the tasks that require your expertise and delegate the tasks that don’t to capable team members.
Your priorities are constantly in flux. As circumstances change, iterate your task list to reflect the new objectives.

Minimize

Do pings, rings, and dings dictate your schedule? Then you are furthering everyone else’s goals instead of your own. So, eliminate distractions and interruptions as much as possible.

Maintain a daily routine. It trains your brain to be most productive during specific times of the day.
Intentionally arrange your workspace for maximum concentration. Get away from household, office, or personal distractions. Organize your workspace for comfort and ergonomics. Is your desk close to electrical outlets? Are pens, chargers, reports, close by? Are non-essential notifications disabled on all your devices? Do you need to block distracting websites? Would using a time-management app help? Try one of these.
Take regular breaks. Stand up and stretch. Move around for five minutes every hour. Walk away from your desk, find a quiet comfortable corner and box breathe for one minute. You will reduce stress, clear your head, and boost your mental acuity.

Strategize

Are you in a lot of meetings, but not adding any partnerships to your network? Then you are just having coffee with friends. Building and nurturing meaningful connections can provide insights, open doors, and create opportunities for collaboration. So, network strategically.

What are your networking objectives? Are you seeking industry experts, mentors, or potential clients? Make choices that align with your goals, values, and priorities.
Attend the conferences, happy hours, and events that will help you connect with like-minded professionals and gain knowledge from industry leaders.
Remember to follow up with your new contacts after these events to maintain the connections. LinkedIn was built for this.
Are there professional organizations you can join to connect with influencers in your field?
Can you volunteer for projects that will help you establish a strong presence in your industry?

What measures do you take to enhance your productivity? Please share in the comments.

Ritual Respite

It’s back-to-school season! One of my friends adjusted her entire family’s bedtimes by fifteen-minute increments to prepare everyone for getting the kids to school on time. She understands the vital role rest plays in productivity. It seems counterintuitive in a society that values busyness. Let’s talk about how rest helps you do more.

Recovery: Rest allows your mind and body to recover from fatigue. Prolonged work without breaks leads to mental exhaustion, reduced concentration, and diminished problem-solving abilities. Rest replenishes your energy levels to improve your mental clarity, focus, and creativity. It also promotes physical recovery, reducing the risk of injuries. Extended rest periods, such as sleep, enable your brain to consolidate and integrate information. This improves your memory retention and decision making. Grabbing a fifteen-minute nap during your daily 3:00pm slump will recharge you more effectively than grabbing coffee, cola, or chocolate. Getting adequate rest regulates your mood, promotes emotional stability, and supports the higher-level cognitive processes you need to be productive.

Performance: Working for extended periods without rest produces diminishing returns. Taking regular short breaks during work helps combat your decline in attention and focus. You can’t work on a project for hours, then collapse at the end of the day to make up for the skipped rest periods. You can’t work at full capacity for weeks on end, then make up the missed rest with a week’s vacation. (Don’t get me started on all the paid vacation time workers have at their disposal and do not take.) Regular rest periods during your work day help you recharge, reboot, and retain high-level performance.

Innovation: Rest encourages your mind to wander, fostering creative problem solving and innovative thinking. Moments of relaxation can generate unexpected insights, connections, and out-of-the-box solutions. When you don’t make time to stop and think, you make mistakes you could have avoided. Stepping away from work and engaging in different activities stimulates new perspectives and brainstorms, ultimately boosting productivity. For example, how many times have new ideas come to you while taking a walk?

Well-being: Rest prevents the chronic stress continuous work causes. Not taking breaks negatively impacts not only your productivity but also your overall health. Rest and relaxation techniques, such as meditation, box breathing, or engaging in hobbies, help reduce stress levels. By managing stress, you can maintain a positive mindset, improve overall well-being, and approach tasks with enthusiasm.

Sustainability: Rest is essential for maintaining capacity and delaying burnout. Pushing yourself to the limit without taking breaks not only exhausts you physically, it also reduces your motivation and decreases your overall productivity in the long run. Incorporating rest into your daily routine optimizes your productivity, helps you achieve your goals faster, and ensures sustainable and consistent work-life integration.

What triggers have you set to remind yourself to take breaks? Please share in the comments.