We have arrived at the end of another year. Being the data geek that I am, I analyzed the stats to see what articles received the most views. If you missed these conversations, or you’d like to revisit them, here are the top three most viewed articles in each category.
Thank you for walking down memory lane with me. The best holiday gift you can give me this year is your feedback. What topics did you like? What other topics would you like to discuss? What challenges at work do you need help solving? Please share in the comments.
I’m hearing a lot of “Good riddance 2020,” as if at the stroke of midnight on Friday our current situation will magically vanish. Pretty to think so, but I reckon at 12:01AM on January 1, 2021, we’ll still be facing a global pandemic, social unrest, political infighting, an economic crisis, and murder hornets. Maybe I’m just a pessimist. You’ve probably attended more than one meeting where someone started a sentence with, “Hindsight being 20-20…” We’re rapidly approaching the time when 2020 will literally (and I don’t use that word often) be in hindsight. Instead of wishing it away, let’s decide what we can learn from it. Here is my Top 5 List of Things We Should Remember After 2020.
5. Going Out
Remember those health department ratings we used to ignore at the entrance to our favorite restaurant? We’ll be checking out those hygiene standards the next time we’re allowed to dine in. We’ve learned to make fun out of whatever is handy: board games, YouTube videos, a musical instrument; we should keep doing that. Quarantine squashed FOMO since there was no out to fear missing. We can normalize ditching happy hour in favor of personal development like learning a foreign language.
4. Travel
Remember what flying was like prior to September 11, 2001? Well, here we go again. Some pandemic travel restrictions may be permanent. Plus, CFOs’ eyes are now open to how much money their companies can save using virtual options for meetings, recruitment, and conventions. We can stop stocking up on travel-size toothpaste.
3. School
Remember parent-teacher conferences? Both parents and teachers had to take off work, arrange childcare, and cram months of learning issues into a ten minute meeting. The number of students failing their classes is on the rise since the shift to online learning. We can transition to parent-teacher teleconferences. Engaging in a ten minute 1:1 from wherever we are twice a month has to be more effective for parents, teachers, and students.
2. Work
Remember when essential workers were practically invisible? They taught our children, stocked our grocery shelves, repaired our roads, monitored our health, etc. While their contributions are still front and center, we can do the hard work of figuring out childcare, equal pay for equal work, and affordable healthcare, as a start.
1. Home
Remember when we only cleaned our homes when company was coming over? Now we disinfect every surface, every hand, and every package that enters our abode. While we can probably calm down a bit after mass vaccinations, regular hand-washing for 20 seconds is a good habit to hang on to.
2020 reminded us to slow down, buy from local small businesses, and everyone reacts to stress differently. For me, the hard lesson of 2020 is: It’s okay not to be okay. While it gives me opportunity to be strong when others are weak, I discovered it’s difficult for me to invite help when I’m weak. Let’s not be the guy who thinks he can control the uncontrollable. Someone needs to be vulnerable and admit he’s struggling. In 2021, let’s be him. Let’s be that guy.
What are some lessons you want to take with you when 2020 ends? Please share in the comments section.
For many of us, it’s a long holiday weekend to celebrate Independence Day. But thanks to COVID-19, I don’t feel very independent. I walk out the door then stop to make sure I have my mask. Before setting an appointment for a one-on-one, I have to call coffee shops and ask if they allow indoor seating. To go to the office, or not to go to the office; that is the question. Maybe I should take some time between Hamilton viewings to reflect, reality check, remaster, and renew.
Reflect
Gratitude is my default setting for pulling out of rumination. I keep a gratitude journal and write in it as part of my morning routine. I record one thing I’m grateful for from the previous day. When I start down the rabbit hole of feeling sorry for myself, I pull out the gratitude journal to snap out of it. I habitually focus on my goal and ignore the journey I’m on to reach it. Achieving the goal is fabulous, but wisdom comes from what I do daily to accomplish it.
Reality Check
Have you seen a bunch of memes on your social media feeds that say the most useless purchase of 2019 was a 2020 planner? It’s funny because it’s true. The goals we set at the beginning of this year are mostly impractical now. Yet, we beat ourselves up for not being on track to reach them. For example, my company planned to grow our new division this year. We’re having difficulty getting traction and I blamed myself. So, I turned to my best networking friends for a reality check. I felt better when they validated business is slow for everyone. This prompted me to refocus my outreach. What are my clients’ biggest needs right now? Can I provide a resource for them even if it’s not my company? If I can help my community get through the pandemic, then they will still be around to talk business post COVID-19.
Remaster
Much like a rock band re-recording an old hit song to improve its quality, let’s revise our yearly goals. We can break them down into smaller goals to help us stay motivated. We can concentrate on short term goals. (E.g., ask ourselves, “What is one thing I can I do today?”) We can break our revised goals down into actionable steps and calendar them so we’re triggered to action. When contemplating a new goal, we should ask ourselves,“Is this reasonable during COVID-19?” We can track our efforts (you know I’ll use any excuse to start a spreadsheet) and review them after Q3. We can identify someone willing to be an accountability partner and check in with each other weekly for progress reports.
Renew
Surviving COVID-19 is a marathon. Small daily acts of self-care (take a walk, read an article, listen to a podcast) can be rewards for taking another step toward our goals. Setbacks feel more painful right now, but let’s hold on, keep trying, and support one another.
How are you reflecting on the first half of 2020 and preparing for the second? Please share your ideas in the comments section.
Father’s Day has me thinking about how patient my dad was.
There was the time I:
woke the whole house by climbing up in the attic and walking on the creaky floor over my parents’ bedroom early one morning
overcorrected a turn and drove into a yard at the top of a hill while learning to drive
flushed an item down the toilet and clogged the septic tank
These mistakes were explained to me (usually) calmly and corrections were requested (usually) just as calmly. He made me feel like I made a mistake, not like I was a mistake. There’s a big difference and it’s easy to miscommunicate. He made sure I knew my imperfections didn’t stop him from loving me. How often do we beat ourselves up because we feel like we failed? Three instances occur to me.
Failed Goals
When setbacks happen at work, it helps to remember our past successes. (If you don’t keep a success list for performance reviews, start. Now.) After reassuring ourselves, let’s reframe. This isn’t a failure, it’s an experiment. Was it a S.M.A.R.T. goal? Can we extend the deadline? Do we need additional resources to reach it? What if we tweak the process? We can analyze the data, then make a decision.
Failed Expectations
I registered to attend a free webinar given by a colleague. It was his second one. For the first one, he requested my help cohosting and I assumed (you know what assuming does) he’d want help again. Then I discovered a meeting scheduled for the same time that I’d rather attend because I’d have an opportunity to invite those participants to a webinar I was presenting the following week. I was disappointed I couldn’t attend the meeting. Then, I thought. “Why can’t I?”
The angel on one shoulder argued with the devil on my other shoulder:
Angel: Because you made a commitment.
Devil: They’ll be another webinar next quarter. Cancel the registration.
Angel: Your colleague will want your help again.
Devil: He hasn’t asked for it.
Angel: But you always put others’ interests ahead of your own.
THAT did it. I decided to attend the meeting instead of the webinar and if people think less of me for choosing what’s best for me, so be it.
Failed First Try
The team shot down my first idea for the website refresh in the project meeting this week. Does that mean I shouldn’t suggest another one next week? Is everyone judging me? Should I give up trying to be creative because I’m obviously embarrassing myself? Truth: my team probably forgot about my idea as soon as they left the Zoom room. I can’t remember what Joe’s big-SEO-lead-magnet-idea-that-tanked at last week’s meeting was. No one is holding our imperfections against us; except us. Let’s throw out our fixed mindsets and adopt growth mindsets. What exactly was it about my idea the team didn’t like? Was there a kernel of the idea they did like? Can I cultivate it and bring a revised idea to next week’s meeting? Struggling reminds us we’re stretching. Let’s not allow our mistakes to define us.
What flavor of imperfection is bugging you this week? Please share in the comments section.
As we prepare to celebrate the end of 2019, (after tornadoes and a mass shooting here in Dayton, OH, we say good riddance) and prepare for 2020, we think about making New Year’s resolutions. How about instead of resolving to stop smoking or lose weight, let’s:
Treat others the way we want to be treated
For example, when I have a new project at work requiring the talents of someone from another team, I first approach the person whose talent I need and ask if he’s interested. If so, I then approach his manager and ask her permission to assign him to my project. I outline the work, the time I expect it to take, and how it will benefit both the talent and the company. Respectful communication helps us all get more work done.
Listen and learn
Let’s seek opportunities that put us in the same room with people who have different backgrounds and lifestyles than us and listen to their stories. I’ve gotten to know some excellent people by scheduling a follow-up coffee after meeting at a networking event. Seeing the world from someone else’s perspective expands our own.
Flip the script
Much like Joan Jett covering the Mary Tyler Moore Show theme, let’s do something unexpected. This takes a lot of energy. It’s easier to sit and complain about the way things are instead of leaving the break room and doing something about them. For example, if we usually wait to be asked for our ideas, let’s take initiative, write up a brief proposal, and email it to our manager.
Stop comparing
Our journeys are unique. If we compare ourselves to someone with fewer resources to make ourselves feel important, how petty is that? If we compare ourselves to someone further down the career path to make ourselves feel unimportant, how degrading is that? Let’s focus on improving our good habits one percent every day. Let’s only compare ourselves to who we were yesterday. Did we take a step toward our goals or improving our systems today? Let’s make that the bar we strive to meet.
Rise
For example, if we habitually complain about other women, why? Are we jealous? Do we think success was handed to them? Does it relieve us of the responsibility of hustle and sacrifice? Let’s stay in our lanes, assume they got where they are through hard work, and support them to advance even further. When we add value to someone’s life, the law of reciprocity kicks in and we can end up benefiting. Let’s intentionally lift each other up.
These resolutions build our self-esteem and confidence. Not only will we like ourselves more, but others will like us too, and that’s good for business. Some people light up the room when they walk in and some people light up the room when they walk out. In the new year, let’s aim to be the former.
Please share in the comments section how you resolve to stretch yourself in 2020.
The end of the year brings extra work at our companies: performance reviews, customer appreciations, year end financial closes, etc. Unfortunately these tasks happen at the same time we want to celebrate the holidays. How can we make the most of our time off work?
Unplug
This isn’t practical if we’re on call (doctors, firefighters, retailers, developers, you get the picture), but if we’re not, let’s avoid checking email the entire time we’re off. If we simply can’t bear the thought (guilty), limit it. How do we recognize our limit? If we’re constantly wondering whether or not that elusive client has replied yet, then for peace of mind, check. Consider checking email or noodling on projects at a set time every day (e.g., when you get up in the morning over coffee); only work at that time and for a certain amount of time (thirty to sixty minutes, maybe). I realized it was time to do this when my mom told me to stop checking my work email during our Thanksgiving meal prep.
Volunteer
We can go with a group or on our own. We can greet at our church’s Christmas Eve services or bag at our local food pantries. Giving our family and/or friends our full attention while serving our communities creates bonds that strengthens both our relationships and our mental health. Besides, we never know whom we might be serving alongside. Plenty of people meet potential employers while volunteering.
Relax
Holiday commitments often mean doing things we don’t want to (travel, making small talk with distant relatives, etc.). Let’s set aside a day, or at least a few hours, before January 2, to do something we want to do. Need some suggestions? If you’re an introvert, curl up with a book and hot cocoa or get that massage you desperately need but keep putting off. If you’re an extrovert, meet up with some friends for last-minute shopping, brunch, or a spa day.
Sleep
Time off is an opportunity to start a healthy routine of going to bed and getting up at the same time every day. If we’re visiting family or friends who want us to stay with them, but we have to crash on the couch, consider getting a hotel room. To me, having a place to retreat to rest is worth the cost.
Make Memories
Part of the fun of the holidays is remembering them for years afterward. Let’s create and participate in activities we can reminisce over. They don’t have to be expensive: make gingerbread cookies, embark on a selfie scavenger hunt, hold a board game tournament. Any activity that’s out of the ordinary (and maybe out of our comfort zones) will help us make memories to fondly recall in the years to come.
No matter how we choose to spend our time off, let’s commit to being present, eliminating as many distractions as possible, leaving our phones and laptops in another room, pushing some social engagements into January, and making time to focus on nurturing relationships and recharging ourselves.
Please share in the comments section how you intend to spend time away from work this holiday.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled budget to bring you…the holidays. We want to buy lavish gifts for our persons, but struggling to pay student loans, spending half our paychecks on diapers, or saving aggressively for retirement, reminds us to be frugal. Here are some ways to save money on buying presents.
You Better Watch Out
The closer we get to the holiday, the farther the prices drop. The catch? Selection drops too. If there’s something specific you want to purchase, shop Black Friday or Cyber Monday. If not, wait until six days before the holiday. This rule of thumb doesn’t apply to shopping online. If you wait too long, shipping could cost more than the gift.
Making a List and Checking it Twice
As a note in my phone, I make a list of people I’m buying for. Then I ask myself, “Do I really have to buy gifts for all these people?” My husband? Yes. My coworker? Probably not; a hand written note of gratitude is best for some (e.g., coworker, boss, neighbor). If I’m concerned about hurting someone’s feelings, I communicate either directly or with a blanket social media post. (E.g., “I’m limiting gift buying this year and please don’t feel obligated to buy me anything.”) Next to each name, I write a dollar amount. This is my budget. Then I write in gift ideas. While I’m out and about shopping or online, I may find items on sale for one person that gives me wiggle room for someone else, but generally my budget is law and I stick to it. I resist the urge to impulse buy, which is easier while shopping online. When I’m at a mall, all the pretty lights, decorations, and music tempt me to go off list and over budget. As I mentioned in an earlier post, I try to pay in cash because the pain of physically handing over my hard earned money helps me stick to my budget.
Naughty or Nice?
Regifting is an option, but I’m kinda against it. Especially since I saw this.
Be Good for Goodness Sake
If I have a large gathering to attend, I enlist the help of the attendees. I initiate an email thread discussing options: Can we give group gifts (e.g., buy one gift for my sister-in-law, her husband, and their kids; like a streaming subscription, zoo membership, or a donation to their favorite cause)? How about setting a dollar limit and doing white elephant, Secret Santa, or just stocking stuffers?
Rooty Toot Toots
Time together is a gift when spent on intentional experiences: dinner out, a holiday performance followed by coffee, driving through light displays. Are you crafty? I’ve received some fabulous homemade gifts like from-scratch chocolate chip cookies and a hand-knitted Angora scarf that matched my winter coat.
Even someone who’s a responsible spender all year long can lose her mind at holiday time. If we bend to the pressure of spending more than we can afford, we buy ourselves guilt when the credit card bill arrives in January. If our recipient won’t remember in May what we gave her in December, let’s not spend a bunch of money on it.
Please share your tips for saving money on buying holiday gifts in the comments section.
And just like that…it’s December. Welcome to the end of the year! As we push to make our quotas, thank our customers for their business, and prepare for holiday celebrations, let’s schedule time in our calendars for play. You read me. I wrote p-l-a-y. There are plenty of opportunities this month for frivolity and we should take advantage of them for a very practical reason. Play helps us work.
Lynn Barnett, a professor of recreation, sports and tourism at the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign says, “At work, play has been found to speed up learning, enhance productivity and increase job satisfaction.” In this article, she also says, “Highly playful adults feel the same stressors as anyone else, but they appear to experience and react to them differently, allowing stressors to roll off more easily than those who are less playful.” In his book, Play: How it Shapes the Brain, Opens the Imagination, and Invigorates the Soul, Dr. Stuart Brown says, “Respecting our biologically programmed need for play can transform work. It can bring back excitement and newness to our job…work does not work without play.”
For example, when we concentrate on figuring out a problem, our minds can get stuck in an endless loop going over the same details. If we take a break and focus on something else, we get new data to process. Although it’s counterintuitive; the more stress we’re under, the more we need play in order to function. When we get up from our desks and move around, blood flow to our brains increases and we think better. If we walk to the break room and enter a conversation, we foster teamwork. These activities refresh our energy and can prevent burnout by letting our brains reboot and receive input that has nothing to do with our problem. We naturally apply this new data to our challenge. We start to think creatively. We stop thinking about how we’ve solved problems in the past. We stop worrying about the consequences for a minute and imagine what would happen if anything goes. This permits us to relax and look at it from another angle. The situation looks totally different if we’re standing on our heads instead of our feet. When we see something differently and present it in a new light, that’s innovation and it might just trigger a solution. Gymnastics anyone?
For play to have a positive effect on our work we should do it everyday, so we need to schedule it and give it priority. Play is an activity that has no purpose and is considered non-productive. We can do it alone or with others. Here are some examples of play that don’t necessarily cost money:
Read a book
Pet your pet
Watch your favorite artist’s concert footage on YouTube
Drive around looking at neighborhood Christmas lights
Toss a football
Crossword puzzles
Board games
George Bernard Shaw said, “We don’t stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing.” This holiday season when kids are defined as from one to ninety-two, let’s make time to play.
Please share how you’re going to incorporate play into your seasonal celebration in the comments section.
Happy Thanksgiving! Work usually isn’t the first place we associate with gratitude. How would looking for opportunities to be thankful at our jobs this holiday week reinvigorate us?
“Be thankful for what you have; you’ll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don’t have, you will never, ever have enough.” —Oprah Winfrey
We attract what we focus on. If we focus on wanting what we have, we end up content. If we focus on what we don’t have, we become a bottomless pit of want. This week, let’s look around our workplaces for quality relationships and projects we’re thankful for; then think about how we can add value to them.
“When I started counting my blessings, my whole life turned around.” —Willie Nelson
That’s not just the marijuana talking. We have more going for us than we realize. Let’s take a few minutes this week to write down five things we identify as blessings from our work. Let’s pay attention to those five blessings and see how they grow.
“Reflect upon your present blessings, of which every man has plenty; not on your past misfortunes, of which all men have some.” —Charles Dickens
This week, let’s stop dwelling on our past mistakes. We can’t change them, but we can set up triggers so we don’t make them again. Failure is just information gathering. Misfortune happens to everyone. Life is famous for throwing curveballs. All we can do is prepare for them as best we can then get up, dust ourselves off, and get back on the field.
“We must find time to stop and thank the people who make a difference in our lives.” ― John F. Kennedy
Let’s look around our workplaces and identify the teammates who make our jobs easier. Let’s make it a point this week to thank them and be specific. Did you get stuck with an angry customer on the sales floor and your coworker came over to de-escalate the situation? Thank her. Let’s build our support network by expressing our gratitude.
“What separates privilege from entitlement is gratitude.” ― Brené Brown
We didn’t get this job by ourselves. We either used our network, circle of influence, or references to get where we are. Let’s take a minute this week to send a thank-you email to the person who recommended us for this position. We wouldn’t be putting turkey on the table without them.
“Got no checkbooks, got no banks. Still I’d like to express my thanks – I’ve got the sun in the mornin’ and the moon at night.” ― Irving Berlin
Sometimes we can’t think of a single thing to be thankful for. Let’s at least be grateful for another day to go to work and make a positive difference in someone’s life.
“Be grateful for what you have and stop complaining – it bores everybody else, does you no good, and doesn’t solve any problems.” ― Zig Ziglar
Don’t hold back, Zig. Tell us what you really think. He’s harsh, but correct. Let’s exude gratitude at work this week. Maybe we can start a chain reaction of thankfulness that will make everyone’s week more pleasant.
How will you express your gratitude this week? Please share your intentions in the comments section below.
This is the time of year we think about buying decorations, fancy food, party clothes, and gifts. So it’s also a good time to think about some financial fundamentals to keep our long-term savings goals on track.
1. Allowance
Treat yo’ self is real, but if it puts us in debt we aren’t doing it right. We can set money aside from every paycheck for splurging. When the mood strikes, we only spend the money we saved for the binge. We can also keep a change jar or piggy bank. Since we pay for most purchases with a card these days this style of saving takes a long time, but delayed gratification is not always a bad thing.
2. Pay with cash
I know this sounds archaic and inconvenient, but that’s kinda the point. If we have to literally pull bills out of our wallets, count them, then hand them over to the cashier at Bath and Body Works, we see and feel how much those buy-three-get-three-free body care items REALLY cost us. There’s just something about handing our hard earned money over to someone else that makes us feel the loss more intensely.
3. Write it down
The point isn’t to change our habits, but to identify them. If we use our debit or credit cards to purchase everything we buy and pay bills online through our banks, we can just look at our queues for a month and see where all our money goes. From this data, we can make decisions regarding what changes we want to make. Too many trips to Starbucks? Maybe it’s time to take coffee from home with us to the office. If Starbucks is a priority, where else could we cut back?
4. Strategic direct deposit
We can usually assign percentages of our paycheck to different accounts. If we have an interest bearing savings account, we can divert a percentage of our wages to it every pay period. We don’t miss that money if we don’t have easy access to it.
5. Be generous
If we’re generous with our time, talent, and treasure, that generosity comes back to us and usually not in the way we expect. Paying for our friend’s lunch doesn’t mean she will pay the next time. It could be that your daughter buys you the sweater you had your eye on at Target. Now is a good time to ask friends and family if they’d like us to donate to their favorite charity as their present this year. If so, we may want to do a little research to ensure our financial gifts go to the group the organization says they’re helping. (E.g., if we donate to an organization that helps people, will our money go to the people or to administrative fees?)
With a little common sense and a bit of self-control, we can reach our savings goals without feeling deprived.
Do you trick yourself into being frugal? Please share some tips in the comments section below.
