We have arrived at the end of another year. Being the data geek that I am, I analyzed the stats to see what articles received the most views. If you missed these conversations, or you’d like to revisit them, here are the top three most viewed articles in each category.
Thank you for walking down memory lane with me. The best holiday gift you can give me this year is your feedback. What topics did you like? What other topics would you like to discuss? What challenges at work do you need help solving? Please share in the comments.
Last month I mentionedAtomic Habits by James Clear. This book rocked my goal-setting world from Chapter One when he stated, “You do not rise to the level of your goals. You fall to the level of your systems.” Clear says, “The Four Laws of Behavior Change are a simple set of rules we can use to build better habits. They are (1) Make it obvious, (2) Make it attractive, (3) Make it easy, and (4) Make it satisfying.” How might we apply this strategy at work?
Let’s say it was brought to your attention in a performance review that 360° feedback revealed people find your behavior at in-person meetings intense. What you think of as enthusiasm, a number of coworkers perceive as, at best, overwhelming and at worst, scary. Your manager wants to promote you to Team Leader, but if you intimidate people, then you cannot effectively influence them. The feedback mentioned that you:
Consistently arrive just in time for meetings to start and jump right into the agenda
Always sit at the head of the rectangular conference room table
Rarely look up from your note taking and when you do, you’re frowning
Acknowledging these are habits you to need change, you decide to use Clear’s four laws to come up with the following plan for improvement.
Make it Obvious – Before your next internal meeting, email the participants a short note stating you are making a couple of adjustments to your processes. You hope they will make meetings more effective for all attendees and you will privately seek feedback.
Make it Attractive – To you: Approach this exercise as a learning experience that will give you examples you can report to your manager, and witnesses they can consult, to prove you have what it takes to lead a team. To them: People are typically happy to give advice. Tell your coworkers that you respect their opinions and your intention is to make their work lives easier.
Make it Easy – Create more margin in your schedule so that you can show up ten minutes early to the next meeting. Use that time to greet each coworker and exchange pleasantries. Meet in a new location with a round table. If you have to meet in the same location, then sit on the side of the rectangle among the other attendees instead of the power position at the head of the table. For note taking you could audio record the meeting on your phone. This allows you to transcribe your notes later, maintain eye contact during the meeting, and ask follow up questions. Or, you could request that someone take notes for the group and email them to everyone after the meeting. State that in future meetings everyone will take a turn performing this task.
Make it Satisfying – For you: Reward yourself for trying new things and make notes of any improvements for your next 1:1 with your manager. For them: Send a thank-you email to the meeting attendees for participating in your experiment. Ask them follow-up questions like, What did they like/dislike about the changes? What other adjustments do they suggest?
How could you apply the four laws of behavior change to a current habit you need to break or start? Please share in the comments.
Veteran’s Day is this week in the United States. Thank you, veterans and your families for your service. Is motivating troops at all similar to motivating the workforce?
Similarities
Both military and civilian organizations take people with nothing in common, put them on teams, and require them to execute complicated projects
The military rewards personal sacrifice, shared sacrifice, and accomplishments through a system of challenges and rewards. Some companies offer overtime pay, team recognition on their social media, and pay submission fees for industry awards
The military asks you to put your country and its larger cause ahead of your own interests and safety. Essential Workers are asked to do the same
Goals for both the military and the workforce are: increase production, efficiency, and desired results
Motivation is also the same because humans populate both groups and everyone wants the same things: job satisfaction, achievement, recognition, and professional growth
Differences
From the beginning of military service, the focus is leadership. There are formal training programs in all branches of the military (e.g., military academy, ROTC, Officer Training School) and leadership training continues throughout your career. Does your organization offer career development? Do they reimburse you for continuing education?
The military hold ceremonies for changes in command. These formally acknowledge that change is happening and make the environment less disruptive. When was the last time you got to meet your new department head before they were hired?
The military physically train together. Does your company have a softball team? Axe throwing league? Charity walk/run?
The military has great expectations and expects the troops to rise to meet them. As James Clear says in his book, Atomic Habits, “You do not rise to the level of your goals. You fall to the level of your systems.” The military’s systems are designed to use positive peer pressure and incentives to build self-motivating troops. Does your company have a mission statement? Can you quote it?
Learnings
A 1994 study revealed motivation predicts success better than intelligence, ability, or salary. The military uses motivation techniques that can apply to the workforce. Rewards, (e.g. salary) only work as long as they are perceived as rewards. When the reward goes away, so does the motivation. Pay your workforce enough to live on, give them tools to become Subject Matter Experts, and agency to give their jobs their best efforts
The military is motivated to protect their country. Patriotism is a feeling. What feeling can you encourage in your employees? Loyalty? Service? Sustainability? Legacy?
The military emphasizes and rewards incremental progress. (e.g., moving up in the ranks). Giving your employees a several-step career path, defining the parameters to reach each step, then rewarding them with the next step when they reach those parameters, can help you retain them. A 1998 study determined people found life 22 percent more satisfying when they accomplished a steady stream of small goals rather than a few large goals
Sticking together is ingrained in military culture. It drives everyone to achieve a higher purpose. How do you bond your team? What contribution does your company make to society? Employees want to know they are working together to accomplish something that serves the greater good
What other ways do you think the workforce can learn from the military? Please share in the comments.
In 2018, Mike Robbins wrote a book called, Bring Your Whole Self to Work: How Vulnerability Unlocks Creativity, Connection, and Performance advocating authenticity in the workplace. If you have about 12 minutes, his TEDxBerkeley Talk is worth watching. Since the concept depends on interpretation, how do you know what bringing your whole self to work looks like at your organization? As an employee, what is your responsibility? Is it really a good idea to bring your whole self to work?
What Does it Look Like?
In 1990, through his research in diverse workplaces, organizational psychologist William Kahn defined employee engagement. He theorized that employees have personas they put on to go to work, like actors portraying characters. The gap between employees’ true selves and their personas depends on how engaged they are with their jobs. For example, when an employee wants purpose from their job, they are crushed when they don’t get the promotion they expected. This can lead to disengagement like complaining about the job or looking for another one. If the employee doesn’t base their identity on their job, they recover from the same setback more quickly. At the most basic level, bringing your whole self to work means revealing what is impacting your life outside of the job and how it is affecting you on the job. It also means respecting coworkers who share that information about themselves with you.
What is Your Responsibility?
At minimum, managers should strive to create an environment where people feel accepted and respected no matter how invested they are in their work personas. Normalizing the fact that what we experience outside the workplace (e.g., family responsibilities, discrimination, COVID-19) affects us on the job produces a more loyal workforce. It takes a great deal of courage to bring your whole self to work. It also takes cooperation, tolerance, and patience. It has to be part of an organization’s culture. It is work in addition to the job you were hired to do. Bringing your whole self to work requires self-awareness and emotional intelligence. As a team member, you have to pay it forward by extending grace to your coworkers. For example, if you gave your best effort to a project and the client still rejected it, do you blame the coworker who was distracted by a sick child? Or do you choose to believe that they gave their best effort too?
Is it a Good Idea?
A workforce enabled to be real is a workforce empowered to show empathy. This is especially useful in relation to customer service. Some things are universal, like the desire to be heard. For example, when a customer has a complaint, they want acknowledgement. When a member of your workforce spends time listening to the customer’s experience, the customer feels more positive toward your business even if their problem isn’t immediately solvable. Now, having said all of the above, it is not lost on me that the rules of bringing your whole self to work are different for people of color. That is a whole ‘nuther conversation, and you can start it here.
How do you define bringing your whole self to work? Please share in the comments.
The Sunday after Labor Day is Grandparents Day in America. This resonates with me because as I was growing up all of my grandparents worked. From birth to age thirteen, I had four grandparents. One set of maternal and one set of fraternal. The two sets were very different from one another.
Stoic vs. Emotional
Never went to church vs. Went to church every time the doors were open
Mail carrier and former U.S. Army Air Corp captain married to a children’s librarian turned bank employee vs. Factory worker and former marine married to a waitress turned factory worker
One set paid for my freshman year of college vs. One set invited me to do my laundry at their house every week
Lawrence Welk vs. Hee-Haw
Grandparents have seen more of society’s evolution, experienced more heartache, strived more to make ends meet, and learned more lessons on setting priorities. Here are things I learned about work from my grandparents.
Sometimes Your Job is Just a Job
When I was a child, my maternal grandfather worked at a car manufacturing plant. He did not talk a lot about his job. He did not love his job. He did not expect it to be his calling. He worked so his family had food, clothing, shelter, and fun. He found his greatest fulfillment in God. His love of the Bible, his church, and its people was his calling. It is where he invested his T.E.A.M. From him I learned that work can simply be a means to an end.
People Come First
When I was a child, my maternal grandmother was employed at the same car manufacturing plant as my maternal grandfather. My fraternal grandmother worked at a bank. On occasion, both babysat me when my school was on a break and my parents were at work. I remember watching television at my maternal grandparents’ house while my grandmother cooked and did laundry because for her a day off from the factory meant a day working at home. I also remember going to the local bank with my fraternal grandmother with a tote bag full of snacks, books, and seek-and-find word puzzles to keep me busy in the break room while she did her job. (This was waaaaaay before Bring Your Child to Work Day.) Both women found ways to help my parents watch over me. From them I learned helping people takes priority over work.
The Correct Way to Cut a Pie
When I was a child, my fraternal grandfather was a mail carrier. Before I was born, he was a POW during WWII for 11 months. During that time, food was scarce for him. When my parents and I spent Thanksgivings with my fraternal grandparents, my grandmother always made two pumpkin pies for the five of us. My grandfather got one all to himself. After dinner, he settled in front of the television with his pie to watch football and say, “There’s only one way to cut a pie. In half. One for the first half and one for the second half.” From him I learned to reward myself for putting in the work.
What did you learn about work from your grandparents? Please share in the comments.
Last week in part one of this series, we talked about how obstacles to communication can lead to misaligned expectations. This week, let’s explore how that combination can lead to criticism, envy, or grudges and what you can do to prevent them.
Criticism
Taking criticism is like being randomly pelted by Wiffle balls all day. If you let criticism get to you instead of letting it go, then you risk derailing your career instead of protecting your brand. For example, Alexander Hamilton could not tolerate having his reputation questioned. Marty McFly could not stand being called chicken. One way to ease the pain of criticism is to identify your triggers. How did you feel when you were criticized? Embarrassed? Angry? Surprised? Consider the source of the feedback. Is it from someone you respect? Or did it come from someone who gains from tearing you down? When you figure out what triggers the emotion, you can disrupt it. This is one of the handful of times I do not suggest communication as a solution. Try letting it go first. If addressing the criticism is absolutely necessary to continue working with this person, then proceed with caution. 0% emotion, 0% sarcasm, 100% statement of the facts. E.g., “I’m aware that it has always been handled this way, but let’s both present our options to our manager and let them decide.”
Envy
You don’t advertise your struggles, right? Your resume is full of your hits, not your misses. When jealous of someone else’s success, ask yourself, What did they do to achieve it? What do they have to do to keep it? Is that even what I want? For example, if a coworker received a promotion that you wanted, then make a plan to get it during the next round. Figure out how they got the promotion. Did they receive high-risk projects? Did they make their successes visible to your manager? Did they communicate their expectation of moving up to those who promote? The answers will help you define your goals. Then list what actions you have to take to achieve them. Break those down into steps. Assign each step a deadline. Determine if it is worth your T.E.A.M.
Grudges
The negative energy holding a grudge produces manifests itself in your mind (depression), body (high blood pressure), and spirit (self-esteem). A grudge begins with feeling like you were treated unfairly. Then you repeatedly relive the incident substituting what you wish you’d said or done. Carrying those thoughts around is like trying to put out a fire by throwing gasoline on it. Reset your expectations to the reality of this moment. Do something to force yourself to stay in the present and out of the past: Meditate, take a walk, pray, journal.
Your coworkers will offend you and you will offend them. Most teammates don’t realize they offended you. Some don’t care. You give someone power over you when you retain negative emotions toward them. Decide to be the only one who dictates how you feel. It is extremely difficult to make wise choices at work if you’re resentful.
How do you deflect criticism, envy and grudges at work? Please share in the comments.
Last week we looked at how women build confidence when they become mothers and how that skill transfers to leadership at work. I’m not suggesting that every woman needs to have a child in order to be a good leader. I’m saying that motherhood is, by default, leadership training. Here in Part Two, let’s examine how motherhood trains moms to become coaches and how that set of skills makes them influential leaders at work.
Moms learn that their children all react differently to the same situation. Managers learn that the members of their teams respond differently to the same situation. For example, at home when Mom says to her two children, “Let’s go to the library.” One child may jump off the couch and the other may refuse to budge. At work when Manager says to her two employees, “Let’s go to the conference.” One coworker may start registering and the other may start making excuses for why they can’t go. In both of these situations, the people need a coach to inspire, encourage, and motivate them.
Inspire
A mom models the way she wants her child to behave. If a child sees Mom celebrating successes both big and small, asking questions instead of blaming, and managing inconveniences with a positive attitude, then that child is inspired to act the way Mom does when they find themselves in similar situations. A mom who is a leader in the workplace operates the same way. For example, a leader gives her direct report credit for a job well done in front of the CEO. A leader asks an individual contributor why the deadline was missed instead of blaming them for missing it. A leader responds to a complaint by assuring the client that they are heard and working through lunch with her staff to rectify the situation.
Encourage
A mom helps her child achieve goals. She learns to recognize when more training is necessary versus when it is time to gently push her child to accomplish a task on their own. A mom who leads in the workplace believes her team can accomplish their goals. She supports their efforts whether they need mentoring or monitoring and guides each team member accordingly.
Motivate
A mom uses what is important to her child as incentive. For example, Mom at home may say, “If you finish your homework now, then you can spend an extra thirty minutes playing Forza Horizon 4.” This same mom will use that skill to learn what is important to her direct reports. At work she may say, “If you work on Independence Day, you can have July 5th off with pay as compensation.” In both scenarios, everyone feels like they were treated fairly.
Inspiring, encouraging, and motivating require the capability to delay gratification. Moms labor for years to raise a child. There is no guarantee that child will learn what Mom is teaching and use it to become a productive member of society. Day after day moms model respect, positivity, and, hope. These are attributes every coach should have. A woman who can do that at home is an effective leader in any workplace.
Does your organization have people who are recognized, or unrecognized, as coaches? How many of them are moms? Please share what they do that makes you think of them as coaches in the comments.
While at the grocery store, I passed the coffee kiosk. It was fairly busy. The barista was at the register taking orders. A couple of women waited near the pick-up counter. A man with a sleeping baby in a carrier approached the pickup counter and found his coffee. He excused himself around the two women waiting for their orders. One of the women said, “What a good daddy you are!” I silently wondered, if it was a woman with an iced grande caramel macchiato in one hand and a baby carrier in the other, would the speaker have said, “What a good mommy you are!”? I hope so, but society does not train us to praise mothers for parenting.
From the Beginning
Let’s normalize a team approach to getting the invisible, unpaid work done; especially when it comes to parenting. In a heterosexual, two-parent household, when a baby is born the only thing the mother can do that the father cannot is feed the baby with her own body. Everything else is a level playing field. Mothers don’t instinctively know what a baby needs. For example, when a baby cries in the middle of the night, waking up, getting out of bed, and soothing that baby is not a talent unique to mothers.
In this Together
Let’s stop perceiving domestic work through the lens that society perpetually trains us to use. All genders can learn to change diapers, wash dishes, do laundry, take out the trash, get the kids to school, rehearsal, practice, the dentist, etc. Let’s rethink the assumption that the person in the couple with the lowest income (typically the woman) is by default the family manager. In a heterosexual household, let’s stop sending the message to men that they are “helping” around the house. Even if he takes on the burden of the physical work, the mental and emotional burden is still on the woman if she has to know and decide what, where, when, and how that work gets done.
For the Future
When/If you become a parent, if you have a partner, please normalize co-parenting. In learning to navigate the world they live in, children need each parent’s strength and time. One partner should not be limited to the role of financial provider. The other should not be limited to the role of domestic provider. Doing so denies parents the opportunity to model genderless behavior to their children. For example, it is extremely beneficial for children to witness their father supporting their mother’s passions and goals while managing his daily routines. When they see their father being patient, unselfish, kind, and collaborative, then they look for those qualities in the people they choose to be in their lives.
What are some things you do to promote co-parenting? Please share in the comments.
“The world hates change, yet it is the only thing that has brought progress.”
Charles Kettering
Recruiting and retaining talent has been a challenge ever since prehistoric tribal chiefs realized that they had enough gatherers and began persuading some of them to try hunting. As the years passed, population growth allowed employers more choices. When they needed more workers some employers, like the prehistoric tribal chief, saw who currently worked for them and upskilled them to accomplish the new goal. This changed the company’s working environment. Other employers reached out and found people who already had the necessary skill and hired them. Employers’ expectations not only dictated who did the work, but also what, where, when, and how the work got done.
Priority Shift
Since the information age began in the 1970s, the evolution of work and the workforce needed to do it, have incrementally shifted the power of negotiating the terms of employment away from the employer and toward the employee. COVID-19 ushered in the Great Rs (Retirement, Resignation, Reckoning, Reshuffle) spotlighting the fact that employees feel like they are done with living to work and instead want to work to live. They want to integrate work into their lives, but not necessarily make their job their top priority. Yet plenty of organizational leaders are resisting this change. They insist on maintaining a traditional, pre-pandemic business environment while simultaneously trying to both retain current employees and attract new ones. You can spot some of these companies by their reactions to the workforce shortage. For example, their attempts at luring talent include hour wage hikes and signing bonuses. This practice is not only unsustainable, but also unattractive to potential employees and resented by current ones.
Share and Share Alike
Wise leadership will retain and recruit employees by cultivating a more transparent and inclusive work environment. COVID revealed that traditional hierarchical leadership is a lot less valuable now. Business runs at the speed of trust. A company managed by leadership that keeps both data and opportunities to themselves, instead of being open about employee pay metrics and career growth, won’t stay in business very long. These are the organizations who continue to believe in the myth of the messianic figure with a Midas touch that will fix everything. They continue to ignore the tendency of this type of leader to be a fixed-mindset dictator. Employees used to work for this type of leader because they were afraid of losing their jobs, but now, not so much. The companies run by servant leaders who both hire talent with strong soft skills and create a culture of growth by implementing diverse ideas, building a strong foundation of trust, and sharing credit for success, are the companies that will successfully retain and recruit talent during the next Great R.
This evolution was happening pre-pandemic, but progress is like turning the Titanic around. Those in power naturally want to maintain the pre-pandemic status quo, but there’s no going back to what was considered normal. Smart employers will figure out whether or not they want to stay in business and what changes they are willing to make to do so.
What changes would you like to see regarding the way work gets done? Please share in the comments.
Given my fascination with the Great Resignation and all its iterations, it was only a matter of time (or, in my case T.E.A.M.) before I participated in it. I dove into the Great Reshuffle when I recently accepted a new position. As a former Change Agent, you’d assume that I’m prepared for the adjustments necessary to negotiate the transition to a new job. Well, you know what assuming does. (If not, DM me.) The phrase I used to calmly repeat to clients, I now have to incessantly repeat to myself, “Change is hard; even when the change is good, it’s still hard.” If you’ve ever changed roles, moved to a new team, or joined a new organization, you feel me. Here are three things I’m still learning about change.
Failure is Data
You’re going to make mistakes and mistakes do not equal failure. The only time failure happens is when you quit trying. Mistakes provide valuable information for improving your processes. They reveal where you need to set triggers so that you will avoid making the same mistake twice. You can use mistakes to both increase the speed at which you learn new procedures and decrease your learning curve.
Slow Your Roll
I often preach at you to stop and think. You should also stop and feel. What are your emotions telling you? Is joy cheerleading? “Wow! I can’t believe I’m on this team!” Or is fear whispering? “Wow. I can’t believe I’m on this team.” The first feeling reinforces your decision to change as a positive move. The second feeling should prompt you to take a five-minute break and, while drinking a bottle of water, ask yourself the five whys. For example:
Why does being assigned to this team make me feel nervous? Because everyone else on this team is a rockstar.
Why are they considered rockstars? Because they get highly visible projects.
Why do they get highly visible projects? Because they all crush their KPIs every month.
Why do you think that is? Because they do more outreach than anyone else.
Why don’t you ask one of them for advice on effective methods of outreach?
Build Bridges
Walt Disney was right. It really is a small world. It’s likely that you’ll encounter former coworkers in the future, especially if you still work in the same industry and/or the same small city, so it’s wise to only speak positively about them. You may have health coverage and/or a retirement plan with your former company that requires Human Resources’ help to tie up those loose ends, so be polite and responsive when they ask for your input. Write a thank-you note for all of the opportunities your former employer gave you and publish it on your social media. Your LinkedIn newsfeed usually has plenty of examples you can follow.
Remember that your participation in the Great Reshuffle affects others. Whether you have a partner, a parent, or a pet, everyone in your circle of influence is impacted by your change. If you will intentionally be kind, repeat how new processes will work, and get some rest, then both you and your loved ones will adjust faster.
Have you participated in the Great Reshuffle? What changes have you made? Please share in the comments.
