Energy – Page 7 – mardihumphreys.com

In the Beginning

COVID-19 has cost some of my friends their jobs. After getting over the hurdle of finding a new position in a pandemic, now they have to adjust to new roles. Are you in the same situation? How can you successfully transition to your new company? Time to flex those soft skills like communication, emotional intelligence, and leadership.

Communication

However you want people to think of you (professional, kind, capable, etc), project those positive qualities from your very first interaction. Ideally, an on-site meeting will be arranged to introduce you to your team as part of your on-boarding, but if social distancing makes that impossible, on your first day, mask up and go around to greet them individually. Is your team remote? Request a teleconference. Ask each member about themselves, listen more than you talk, and take notes. Pay special attention to the way they talk about the company. It will give you insight into its culture. Coworkers are unlikely to be transparent since you’re a stranger, but you could ask: How does the team resolve conflicts? How does the company recognize success? How does your manager support your professional development goals?

Emotional Intelligence

Find out how your role interacts with everyone else’s. How do you support your team in their daily responsibilities? Offering to help is a good way to build trust, but be wary of coworkers trying to foist too many of their unwanted tasks onto you. It’s okay to respectfully establish boundaries. Identify someone you can go to with questions ranging from, “What is the dress code?” to “Is Sam asking me to do a task she is actually responsible for?” Ask your most important questions. For the ones that aren’t so important, try to find the answers on your own. Look through the employee handbook, internal website, and on-boarding materials. If you can’t find answers, make a list and ask the appropriate people later. You don’t have to have all the answers now, and it will give you a reason to follow up with new colleagues. If you ask a question via email, you can prevent repeatedly asking the same one. If one of your questions regards how soon you can take time off (either paid or unpaid), best practice is to work 90 days before requesting it. Beware of office gossips. This early in your employment, they can only hurt your reputation. If you had a specific way of handling your projects at your last job, this is the time to be flexible. Until you’ve earned both the company’s and your manager’s trust, don’t demand changes.

Leadership

At a mentoring event in January 2020, Cassie Barlow, an outstanding leader in workforce development, reminded us a new role isn’t new just for the employee; it’s a transition for the whole team. She offered this great advice when starting a new job:

First day: Find yourself in the organizational chart, learn names (use mnemonic devices (e.g., Melissa has red glasses) to help you remember), be humble, have a growth mindset, be curious.

First week: Get a job description; meet colleagues and figure out how to interact with them. Who likes email? Who’d rather get a phone call? Who needs to meet?

First month: Set expectations, metrics, and milestones with your manager. Set expectations, metrics, and milestones with your direct reports.

Do you have any advice for starting a new position? Please share it in the comments section.

Stalled Boundary

Last week during a local weather forecast, a meteorologist described the stationary front hanging over us. She explained there were two air masses competing for dominance and until one got strong enough to replace the other, it would continue to rain. Doesn’t this sound like some of our work relationships?!

Two Masses Competing for Dominance

The word seems to imply an attempt to isolate ourselves, but boundaries are guidelines we communicate so others know how to treat us. We’re stating the behaviors we’ll tolerate and those we won’t. We’re setting expectations for the team. If we have well defined boundaries, it takes assuming out. “No” is a powerful word, and we need to get comfortable using it. We want to get along with our coworkers. We don’t want to seem rude, ill-mannered, or not a team player; but anyone with the attitude, “It never hurts to ask,” has been told no before. People are going to think what they want about us (positive or negative) no matter what we do, so let’s say no to things that make us exhausted, disturbed, or resentful.

Both Equally Strong

We can’t make anyone respect our boundaries. All we can control is how we respond when they’re crossed. When we’re pushed to defend our boundaries, it’s an opportunity to articulate why they exist. Some boundaries are negotiable and being questioned about them helps us refine them. For example, Coworker: “Why didn’t you reply to the email I sent you yesterday?” Me: “Because I stop checking email at 7:00PM.” This encounter reminded me our boss sends emails at all hours. So I refined my boundary by setting up a rule in Outlook. When our boss emails me, Outlook sends me a text. A long justification of our boundaries isn’t necessary nor is it anyone’s business. If we offer too much explanation, we invite the encroacher to move it. Remember, turnabout is fair play. We should be mindful of our coworkers’ boundaries. How can we tell when we’ve crossed one if they won’t point it out? There may be visual social clues: heavy sighing, arm crossing, eyebrow raising. When I suspect I’ve crossed a boundary, I ask. “Do I sense a boundary? Oops, the line’s behind me. I crossed it again.”

Everyone Gets Rained On

We can’t afford to feel guilty about how our reasonable boundaries affect the peace of our team. Modeling calm, matter-of-fact boundary defense may be the best thing we can do for our team. When we hold a boundary, let’s observe our coworkers’ reactions. Are they inspired? Relieved? Annoyed? Scared? Their responses give us a major clue about the health of our teams’ communication. Do we need a culture shift? Is it time for one member to transfer to a different team? Let’s strive to foster an environment where coworkers feel safe to disagree and debate, but non-stop criticism doesn’t promote problem solving. Leaving the team or asking someone to leave is not a pleasant choice, but it’s important to remember the choice exists. We aren’t powerless.

What are some work boundaries you’ve had to defend? Please share them in the comments section.

Performance vs Potential

In America, 49.6% of the workforce is female, but less than 5% of Fortune 500 companies’ CEOs are female. I found several variables contributing to this confusing proportion. Since this is an election year and we’ve seen glaring examples of performance vs. potential, let’s focus on that variable for this discussion. A Presidential campaign is a job interview. During the democratic campaigns, the female candidates highlighted their resumes (what they did) while the male candidates promoted their plans (what they intend to do); evidence that women are judged on past performance and men are judged on potential. How does this societal inclination to evaluate a gender show up in the workforce?

This study on hiring reveals when the past performances of female and male candidates were equal, the female candidates were held to a higher standard. Unconscious bias lessened the women’s leadership potential in the hiring team’s opinion. These negative labels pervade the workforce. They’re exhausting to fight and often invisible. Let’s say Jane and Joe have the same position, the same resume, and are up for the same promotion. If Joe receives it, Jane probably won’t ask her boss if he chose Joe because he thinks Joe has more potential than she does. Instead, Jane will probably feel like she doesn’t belong at her company and look for a more welcoming environment. We have to realize unconscious bias is someone else’s opinion of us; not the truth, and have the endurance to battle it day after day. But, who has the energy to constantly validate her ideas to upper management while simultaneously doing the job?

Traditionally, when a project succeeds, a female leader shares credit with her team and a male leader assumes the credit for himself. Diluting her contribution, the female leader is easily overlooked for bigger projects. A man claiming credit gets leadership roles because no one asked how the project got done. They only saw who claimed credit for getting it done. The performance review process is a minefield of subjectivity and unconscious bias. One answer is to make the evaluation more about whether last year’s performance goals were met (this is typically how a male is evaluated), not how hard the employee had to work to meet them (this is typically how a female is evaluated). This challenges HR to rework the process using a filter of diversity and inclusion, which may require both training and a review committee. When women have to keep proving competency over and over, this slows down our advancement. How can we excel at past performance if we’re denied opportunities to perform?

Speaking of HR, in this poll of women working in the IT industry, 63% of them said the hiring process in the market is biased against female IT applicants. When women are hired, we start dropping out of the advancement track around middle management for obvious reasons: no women in next-level positions in whose footsteps we can follow, no access to casual networks (the old boys’ club), and lack of mentors (male or female) in upper management. But there’s also a not-so-obvious reason: a culture of embedded mindsets and entrenched beliefs. (E.g., men make better leaders because they’re more analytical and less emotional than women.) How much talent is wasted because of these barriers?

As usual, I have more questions than answers. If you have answers, please share your experience in the comments section.

Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes

I’m equipped to work from home, so when COVID-19 turned the world upside down, I thought it would be easy. But now that we’ve been quarantined longer than Noah was in the ark, the loss of routine is getting to me. I had comfortable pre-pandemic habits: packing a lunch, listening to a podcast on the morning commute, and driving thru Starbucks once a week. Now those customs don’t work and I’m off-kilter without them.

I’ve read now is a good time to develop new habits that can remain after a vaccine for COVID-19 is developed, but I don’t think they’re referring to wearing slippers instead of heels to work. Why should we develop whole new routines when we’re going back to the old ones any day now? Because any day now keeps getting pushed back. We’ve fallen into new habits whether or not we want to admit it, but do we have to completely overhaul those routines to feel balanced again?

The research I’ve done suggests small adjustments may be enough to restore harmony. We can take breaks (play with the kids), set boundaries (dedicate a workspace, start and end the workday at the same times everyday), and follow a dress code (real clothes, not pajamas). So I guess it’s time to actually eat a snack, take the dog outside, and focus my eyes on something beyond the computer screen, instead of complaining about nine-hour-without-a-break work days. I suppose I should put the card table I’ve been working from back in the garage and get a legitimate desk. I’m willing to change out of pajamas for work, but I’m not giving up the slippers.

We’re drifting into the realm of self-care which is taking on a more serious face during this pandemic. The stress of COVID-19 information overload, loss of freedom, job loss (or a never-ending workday), and the whole family trapped in residence together, forces us to add self-care our already full to-do lists. It’s become a mental health issue, so let’s prioritize it. This pandemic is like an airplane cabin losing oxygen. We have to put on our own masks before we can help anyone else with theirs. We need to model self-care, especially in front of our children, because they’re watching what we do. By managing our own peace of mind, we’re teaching them how to manage theirs.

There are plenty of choices to maintain mental health. This can be overwhelming. So maybe we employ the Butterfly Effect and choose one thing we can do to make ourselves feel better. We don’t have to do the same activity every day. Today, we could take the kids for a walk in the neighborhood and practice physical distancing. Tomorrow, we could make our weekly staff meeting a virtual coffee. The day after that, we could go to the grocery using the appropriate precautions then drop off the supplies at our local food bank.

What is one thing you can do today to pivot to a positive change? Please share in the comments.

What Comes Next?

We talk about what we’ll do after COVID-19. What changes to work life will we keep? How has our perspective changed? How much weight will we have to lose? What will we do next? Like Inigo Montoya after he finally got revenge on Count Rugen, next can leave us feeling lost, bereft, or untethered. Fortunately, Westley had a goal to offer him, but since the position of The Dread Pirate Roberts is currently unavailable, what should we do after we’ve reached a goal?

Celebrate

We can take a break and pat ourselves on the back, but let’s put a time limit on the celebration; somewhere between the length of a nice dinner and a week’s vacation. We should thank everyone who contributed to reaching the goal; especially those whose help we’ll need to reach future ones. We could reward ourselves with a gift card to a local business (e.g., coffee shop, independent bookstore, salon). That would both support a small business struggling to survive COVID-19 and give us something to look forward to.

Reflect

We should push pause and ponder. What did we do right? What could we improve? How do we maintain this new level? Who helped us get here? When in the process did we mess up and why? Where can we put triggers in that process to prevent mistakes from happening again? What is our next logical goal? The answers to these questions give us data to analyze. We can use this for refining our process and determining metrics.

Another one

Do we go after a bigger client? Start grad school? Lose another 10 lbs? If we have simultaneous goals set in different areas of our lives, when we achieve one, we have another one to work on. This helps us maintain dopamine levels to stay motivated and avoid the arrival fallacy (A theory introduced by Tal Ben-Shahar). Another option is to come up with a two (or five or ten) year plan so once we reach our current goal, we can immediately start on the next one even if it’s a preliminary activity (i.e., research, gather materials, etc). If looking that far down the road doesn’t make sense, we could set both short term goals (e.g., be the team leader on the next project) and long term goals (e.g., get promoted next year). When we achieve the short term goal, we could focus our energy on the long term goal while setting another short term one.

Help others

Is it time to be a mentor? Teaching someone else a skill we just learned reinforces it for us. We could also share what we learned by writing a white paper or case study and posting it on our companies’ websites.

Remember Why

We can achieve goal after goal, but still feel unfulfilled. If this happens, stop and ask, “What do I want to do with my life?” Do we want to end domestic violence? Affect climate change? Make sure every dog has a home? When we determine what we want our world to look like, we can align our goals with our life’s purpose and make that world a reality.

What comes next for you? Please share in the comments section.

Here Comes the Judge

We judge situations and people every day: Is this job the best fit for me? Is this guy going to hurt me? Should I hire a math tutor for my son? Often, we have to assess them with very little information. We’re also on the other end of evaluation. We look in someone’s eyes, feel them examining us, and assume we come up short of their standards. That doesn’t make judging bad. It’s our mindset that’s in question. What happens when we judge ourselves? Why do we judge others? What habits can we adopt to turn our negative judgement into positive?

Ourselves:

We are inclined to be our own worst critics. If we weren’t, affirmations would not exist (e.g., “It’s okay to be a powerful woman”) We have to intentionally remind ourselves we’re good enough, we’re smart enough, and doggone it, people like us because we face adversity every day and we think we’re the cause of it. Yes, we reap what we sow, but sometimes life just happens. We can be really good at our jobs and then a pandemic comes along and our company lays us off. We habitually blame ourselves for the random misfortune in our lives, “If I were smarter, I would’ve sold my quota of widgets this month.” After a while, we maintain a low level of self-induced anxiety and it can be addicting. Why do we do this? Are we trying to protect ourselves from failure? Are we trying to use criticism to motivate ourselves to action?

Others:

Confession time: I’m judging people’s reactions to the COVID-19 pandemic. I find myself thinking negatively about those who: aren’t in high risk categories being scared, are vocal about the inconvenience of their favorite doughnut shop being temporarily closed, or say our state’s leaders are overreacting. Then my own words slap me in the face: “Don’t judge others by the way you think.” I feel like fear is at the root of judgement. We’re jealous of what others have. We have to get along with people whose opinion is very foreign to ours. We think someone wants to take advantage of us. We’re afraid we’re wrong, we won’t have enough, or we’ll look stupid. Fear is useful when we use it as a warning system, but how do we keep it in its place?

Habits:

Realize we’re doing it. When we have a judgmental thought, we can stop and label it. Is it true? If not, let’s cast it aside and purposefully replace it with a true and positive thought.

Meditation. Whether it’s prayer, mindfulness, or quiet time, stopping to breathe, catalog thoughts, and decide which ones need redirection or discarded strengthens our accuracy in judging both situations and people.

Forgive ourselves. Everyone makes mistakes and they usually aren’t as consequential as we initially assume. Our culture pushes us to be better and do better; but if we do our best, that’s enough to feel good about and try again tomorrow.

What do you do to keep judgment in its place? Please share in the comments section.

Quittin’ Time

Are you a quitter?

You like your job, but you no longer love it. You’ve got a good thing going, but an opportunity is knocking with the potential to be great. You don’t have enough reasons to stay put, but loyalty to the company keeps you from making a career move. You don’t want to be seen as a quitter. We equate quitters with failure, but walking away from a job that no longer aligns with your values makes you smart; not a quitter. Your ambition is a good thing and it takes courage to pursue work you really want and not settle for a job that’s no longer working for you. Do an ROI analysis of your job annually (e.g., performance review time) and react as objectively as possible. Give yourself permission to go after what you want.

Exit Strategy

You’ve accepted another job. Now what? Let’s talk basics: Get your ducks in a row with the new employer (e.g., your benefits package is in order, you have a copy of your signed contract, you’ve agreed on a start date, etc.) before saying anything to anyone at your current company, even your work bestie. The first person you tell is your manager. If you don’t have regular 1:1s, request one. Make sure this meeting is at least two weeks before the start date of your new job. Go to it with a resignation letter framed as a thank-you note with these elements: gratitude for the opportunities the company and your manager gave you, a diplomatic statement of why you’re leaving (e.g., “I’ve grown all I can with this company.”) and the date of your desired last day. While a two week notice is standard, be aware that you may be asked to leave immediately. Or, to stay longer than two weeks to wrap up loose ends and/or train your replacement. Bring a succession plan to this meeting: a list of your responsibilities and suggestions for who is qualified to take them over. Try to work out a who-needs-to-know-when timetable you can agree on, but ultimately your manager gets to decide. Have a tactful elevator-speech-length story ready to tell your coworkers when they ask why you’re leaving.

It’s a small world after all.

Chances are good you’ll need a reference from your manager or you’ll run into coworkers at networking events so don’t speak negatively about the company. Keep your attitude professional and set up the coworkers who assume your responsibilities for success (e.g., type up a status report of the projects you’re working on, introduce them to your clients via email, offer to be available via phone or email after you leave). Keep it classy even after you turn in your keys. Announce on your social media platforms that you’ve accepted another position, but be sure to publicly thank the company you left for preparing you for this new opportunity.

Have you ever felt conflicted leaving a job? Please share in the comments section.

Movin’ on Up

Photo by Markus Spiske temporausch.com from Pexels

I arrange my office furniture around the electric outlets. Is that weird? Hear me out. There are a finite number of outlets in my office. I have to plug in two monitors, docks for two computers, speakers, coffee cup warmer, desk lamp, phone charger, and air freshener. I not only need at least one power strip, but also to place my desk along the wall with the most outlets. We can think of our careers in the same way. If we’re trying to advance, we must get close to those in power.

Identify the Elvis

You’ve discovered a team/department with whom you’d like to work. Before declaring your intentions, see what you can find out about their manager (i.e., the Elvis) through some harmless stalking. Does your company’s website have biographies or resumes of the leadership team? How about an organizational chart on its intraweb? Does the Elvis have a LinkedIn profile? Get to know the people who are important to him. Pay attention to who his go-to direct reports are. Ask yourself how you can provide value to him. You can start by helping out his team. Do the tasks they either don’t have time for or don’t like.

Business Development

Managers are supposed to help their employees develop professionally, but if your current manager is happy with your performance, she may be more interested in keeping you where you are. It’s a hassle to replace you. If you’ve learned everything there is to know about your own role and aren’t interested in moving to the next position in your job family, (or maybe that role is filled by someone who isn’t going anywhere) you’ll have to develop yourself. Ultimately, you are responsible for your advancement.

Knowledge is Power

Do some discreet reconnaissance. Find out what positions in your company are (or soon will be) available, get the required skills if you lack them, find out how other teams work together, and think about what unique abilities you can contribute. Remember to also consider your career trajectory. Is this a lateral move? Will you lose any benefits? Will this position look good on your resume?

Fake it ‘til You Make it

There’s nothing wrong with sitting in a meeting, nodding, smiling, and taking notes; then going to your office, shutting the door, and Googling all the jargon and acronyms used during the meeting. If I can’t manage to act like I know what someone is talking about, I ask follow up questions. I hope to demonstrate my desire to learn is stronger than my fear of everyone knowing how ignorant I am on the subject.

Confidence Begets Confidence

Dress for the next position you want, not the one you have. Speak kindly to everyone, from the CEO to the janitor. Stand up straight, put your phone down, and look coworkers in the eye. You’ll be remembered as a desirable team mate, promote your brand, and expand your network; all of which you need to keep moving up in your career.

What are you doing to get to the next level? Please share in the comments section.

Not Your Grandmother’s Resolution

As we prepare to celebrate the end of 2019, (after tornadoes and a mass shooting here in Dayton, OH, we say good riddance) and prepare for 2020, we think about making New Year’s resolutions. How about instead of resolving to stop smoking or lose weight, let’s:

Treat others the way we want to be treated

For example, when I have a new project at work requiring the talents of someone from another team, I first approach the person whose talent I need and ask if he’s interested. If so, I then approach his manager and ask her permission to assign him to my project. I outline the work, the time I expect it to take, and how it will benefit both the talent and the company. Respectful communication helps us all get more work done.

Listen and learn

Let’s seek opportunities that put us in the same room with people who have different backgrounds and lifestyles than us and listen to their stories. I’ve gotten to know some excellent people by scheduling a follow-up coffee after meeting at a networking event. Seeing the world from someone else’s perspective expands our own.

Flip the script

Much like Joan Jett covering the Mary Tyler Moore Show theme, let’s do something unexpected. This takes a lot of energy. It’s easier to sit and complain about the way things are instead of leaving the break room and doing something about them. For example, if we usually wait to be asked for our ideas, let’s take initiative, write up a brief proposal, and email it to our manager.

Stop comparing

Our journeys are unique. If we compare ourselves to someone with fewer resources to make ourselves feel important, how petty is that? If we compare ourselves to someone further down the career path to make ourselves feel unimportant, how degrading is that? Let’s focus on improving our good habits one percent every day. Let’s only compare ourselves to who we were yesterday. Did we take a step toward our goals or improving our systems today? Let’s make that the bar we strive to meet.

Rise

For example, if we habitually complain about other women, why? Are we jealous? Do we think success was handed to them? Does it relieve us of the responsibility of hustle and sacrifice? Let’s stay in our lanes, assume they got where they are through hard work, and support them to advance even further. When we add value to someone’s life, the law of reciprocity kicks in and we can end up benefiting. Let’s intentionally lift each other up.

These resolutions build our self-esteem and confidence. Not only will we like ourselves more, but others will like us too, and that’s good for business. Some people light up the room when they walk in and some people light up the room when they walk out. In the new year, let’s aim to be the former.

Please share in the comments section how you resolve to stretch yourself in 2020.

Tidings of Comfort and Joy

And just like that…it’s December. Welcome to the end of the year! As we push to make our quotas, thank our customers for their business, and prepare for holiday celebrations, let’s schedule time in our calendars for play. You read me. I wrote p-l-a-y. There are plenty of opportunities this month for frivolity and we should take advantage of them for a very practical reason. Play helps us work.

Lynn Barnett, a professor of recreation, sports and tourism at the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign says, “At work, play has been found to speed up learning, enhance productivity and increase job satisfaction.” In this article, she also says, “Highly playful adults feel the same stressors as anyone else, but they appear to experience and react to them differently, allowing stressors to roll off more easily than those who are less playful.” In his book, Play: How it Shapes the Brain, Opens the Imagination, and Invigorates the Soul, Dr. Stuart Brown says, “Respecting our biologically programmed need for play can transform work. It can bring back excitement and newness to our job…work does not work without play.”

For example, when we concentrate on figuring out a problem, our minds can get stuck in an endless loop going over the same details. If we take a break and focus on something else, we get new data to process. Although it’s counterintuitive; the more stress we’re under, the more we need play in order to function. When we get up from our desks and move around, blood flow to our brains increases and we think better. If we walk to the break room and enter a conversation, we foster teamwork. These activities refresh our energy and can prevent burnout by letting our brains reboot and receive input that has nothing to do with our problem. We naturally apply this new data to our challenge. We start to think creatively. We stop thinking about how we’ve solved problems in the past. We stop worrying about the consequences for a minute and imagine what would happen if anything goes. This permits us to relax and look at it from another angle. The situation looks totally different if we’re standing on our heads instead of our feet. When we see something differently and present it in a new light, that’s innovation and it might just trigger a solution. Gymnastics anyone?

For play to have a positive effect on our work we should do it everyday, so we need to schedule it and give it priority. Play is an activity that has no purpose and is considered non-productive. We can do it alone or with others. Here are some examples of play that don’t necessarily cost money:

Read a book
Pet your pet
Watch your favorite artist’s concert footage on YouTube
Drive around looking at neighborhood Christmas lights
Toss a football
Crossword puzzles
Board games

George Bernard Shaw said, “We don’t stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing.” This holiday season when kids are defined as from one to ninety-two, let’s make time to play.

Please share how you’re going to incorporate play into your seasonal celebration in the comments section.