Relax

Remember the Future

I discovered Chronesthesia while listening to Adam Grant’s WorkLife podcast. He interviewed Astronaut Scott Kelly who used it to deal with living at the International Space Station for 340 days. Grant described how it can help us cope with both living and working at home during COVID-19. Here is the article Grant wrote about Mr Kelly. It goes into more detail than the podcast episode. Chronesthesia was first proposed by Endel Tulving in 1985. It’s the concept of mental time travel. Now that we’ve lived in this pandemic over four months, it seems like a good time to acquire this skill.

What Is It?

Chronesthesia is the theory our brains are constantly aware of the past and future simultaneously. It combines episodic memory and mental time travel. Episodic memory is linked to time and provides data from our past. Mental time travel is the ability to use past events to conceptualize future events.

How Does It Work?

Like the Red Queen in Alice in Wonderland who remembered the future, Chronesthesia involves two sets of processes. One set pertains to space: the who, what, and where of an incident. (E.g., we remember eating lunch yesterday: what we ate, where we ate it, whom we were with) The other set of processes pertains to time: the when. (E.g., did we eat lunch, yesterday, today, or tomorrow?) Chronesthesia theorizes the second set of processes is subjective. It’s mental time unmeasured by clocks or calendars. Consequently, our brains can travel in it and use it to shape our futures.

What Can Happen When We Try It?

Cons:

Worry – Chronesthesia offers plenty of opportunity to dwell on the negative. For example, looking forward to traveling to Orlando, Florida for vacation, but worrying about catching COVID-19 because it’s a hot spot.

Frustration – Our visualization may not be flexible enough. For example, a client agreed to an in-person brainstorming session. We mentally rehearse for a week prior. We see ourselves at a whiteboard using a rainbow of dry erase markers. At the last minute, the client wants to switch to a teleconference.

Overthink – Pondering what could happen denies the pleasure of living in the moment. For example, fretting over the pipeline instead of celebrating a finished project.

Pros:

Adjusting – We can learn from the past and use that knowledge to change future behavior. For example, if we know a coworker gossiped about us last week, we’ll be very careful what we say in front of him today.

Marketing – Remembering the future is great for storytelling. For example, recall how your company helped a client. List the facts, their problem, and your solution. Then, think about the result. How did it make the client feel? Tell their story in a case study. Attach the positive emotions they felt to what you can do for future clients.

Goal Setting – Chronesthesia is a natural exercise for setting goals. For example, your career isn’t going the way you want. Travel back in your memory. Was there a project/client/offer you turned down that negatively altered your career’s trajectory? Think about why you turned it down. Imagine accepting that offer instead. What would the work be like? What skills/certifications/contacts would you need to succeed? Set S.M.A.R.T. goals to get them. Envision yourself achieving those goals.

What memories can you project into the future to help you keep moving your career forward during this pandemic? Please share in the comments section.

Teamwork Makes the Dream Playlist Work

After so many times asking each other, “Have you heard this song?” my best friend, Kelly, suggested we start a playlist in Spotify to keep track of them. Because we’re both rule followers and goal oriented, we had a couple of guidelines. The originals were: Listen without distraction (no driving, working, social media, etc. on first listen), preferably through headphones, and post at the same time every week. We inadvertently stumbled onto something deeper than trading songs. In this new world of COVID-19, people are turning to music and using it almost as a healing balm to our psyches.

Our original intent was to have fun in sampling each other’s taste in music, but after being at it for over a year, it’s evolved into a means of communication. We use it for commemoration and encouragement. We acquire a clearer understanding of each other’s worldview because our song choices reveal our personalities. The anticipation of new music (I’ve heard artists I never would’ve known otherwise), and trying to guess what the other is going to add, makes it a game. An unexpected side effect of building our playlist is how it’s affected my job.

Teamwork

Team members have to know what the goal is. I asked Kelly what she thought the goal of building our playlist was. She said, “…to share ideas, thoughts, and feelings that we may have had during the week through music. Doing this often generates conversations we may not have had otherwise, and can get us thinking about various things in ways we might not have before.” A team works toward the goal together, but we come at it from different perspectives. Building our playlist helps me be open to my team’s opinions on how to reach our goals.

Perseverance

I keep my ears open throughout the week and seek unusual sources for songs to surprise her. At work, this translates into pushing me to seek new and unusual ways to help my company grow.

Communication

We often ask each other why we chose that song this week, usually via text. We have to corral our thoughts and boil them down to those most important and present them briefly. I find myself editing my work emails down to short active sentences; a hallmark of good communication.

Deadlines

Sundays come with excruciating regularity. So do work deadlines. Our playlist helps me remember not to wait until the last minute to research my share of the project.

Our playlist reminds me to take a break from working. It’s something fun to look forward to instead of thinking about COVID-19 all the time.

One of the reasons humans love music so much is because it helps us express our feelings. Why try to put them into words when a musician has already done it so eloquently? Sometimes there aren’t adequate words to express our feelings. We need a crunchy guitar (or maybe a plaintive violin) solo to do it for us. Let’s think about adding music to our self-care routines. We can intentionally build a playlist for lifting our spirits. If we need some ideas, we can ask a friend to build one with us.

Do you have a song that makes you happy every time you hear it? Please share title and artist in the comments section.

Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes

I’m equipped to work from home, so when COVID-19 turned the world upside down, I thought it would be easy. But now that we’ve been quarantined longer than Noah was in the ark, the loss of routine is getting to me. I had comfortable pre-pandemic habits: packing a lunch, listening to a podcast on the morning commute, and driving thru Starbucks once a week. Now those customs don’t work and I’m off-kilter without them.

I’ve read now is a good time to develop new habits that can remain after a vaccine for COVID-19 is developed, but I don’t think they’re referring to wearing slippers instead of heels to work. Why should we develop whole new routines when we’re going back to the old ones any day now? Because any day now keeps getting pushed back. We’ve fallen into new habits whether or not we want to admit it, but do we have to completely overhaul those routines to feel balanced again?

The research I’ve done suggests small adjustments may be enough to restore harmony. We can take breaks (play with the kids), set boundaries (dedicate a workspace, start and end the workday at the same times everyday), and follow a dress code (real clothes, not pajamas). So I guess it’s time to actually eat a snack, take the dog outside, and focus my eyes on something beyond the computer screen, instead of complaining about nine-hour-without-a-break work days. I suppose I should put the card table I’ve been working from back in the garage and get a legitimate desk. I’m willing to change out of pajamas for work, but I’m not giving up the slippers.

We’re drifting into the realm of self-care which is taking on a more serious face during this pandemic. The stress of COVID-19 information overload, loss of freedom, job loss (or a never-ending workday), and the whole family trapped in residence together, forces us to add self-care our already full to-do lists. It’s become a mental health issue, so let’s prioritize it. This pandemic is like an airplane cabin losing oxygen. We have to put on our own masks before we can help anyone else with theirs. We need to model self-care, especially in front of our children, because they’re watching what we do. By managing our own peace of mind, we’re teaching them how to manage theirs.

There are plenty of choices to maintain mental health. This can be overwhelming. So maybe we employ the Butterfly Effect and choose one thing we can do to make ourselves feel better. We don’t have to do the same activity every day. Today, we could take the kids for a walk in the neighborhood and practice physical distancing. Tomorrow, we could make our weekly staff meeting a virtual coffee. The day after that, we could go to the grocery using the appropriate precautions then drop off the supplies at our local food bank.

What is one thing you can do today to pivot to a positive change? Please share in the comments.

Time to Tune Out

Have you noticed in meetings there’s at least one team member on her phone, tablet, or laptop the entire time? She could be taking notes, but no one assumes that do we? Hopefully, we make enough eye contact with the client to indicate he has our full attention. If we’re in front of our screens this much at work, how much more are we in front of them outside of work, and how damaging is it?

Break the Binge

Most of us spend more time in front of screens than we realize. On the average, Americans watch over five hours of television a day, and almost four hours on our computers, tablets, and/or smartphones. If we turn them off, we can buy ourselves a huge chunk of our day back and maybe our relationships too. Can we really concentrate on the story our partners or kids are telling us if we’re distracted by the puppy video we just scrolled to on Instagram? With all that time we could read a book on personal development, walk the dog, or have coffee with a friend.

CVS is a Not Just a Drug Store

Computer Vision Syndrome (CVS) can happen when we spend hours looking at a computer or phone screen. When we use a computer at work, then go home and check our social media, that’s a lot of time exposed to screens. Do you use the 20-20-20 rule?

Couch Potato Chip

If we’re binge watching Netflix or spending the evening gaming after work, then we’re probably sitting still. If we aren’t moving around, we’re not burning calories or stretching our muscles, and we’re likely snacking. We’re not deeply connecting with people, but instead seriously considering feeding the Trolls. More good reasons to use the phone to either call a friend or play music while on the stationary bike instead of using it to cruise Twitter.

Put it Down and Walk Away

Here are the Mayo Clinic’s suggestions to help us put our devices away.

Here are mine:

Turn off notifications – If someone needs to get ahold of me in an emergency, they’re going to either text or call; not Facebook messenger me. Getting distracted by notifications on my phone throws me out of my flow while working. It takes so much time to recover, it’s not worth knowing which friends just added to their stories. Eliminating this distraction helps me be more productive and get things done then give my full attention to my friends Facebook stories at a more appropriate time.

Get rid of cable – My husband and I spent so many nights looking for (and failing to find) something to watch on our 189 cable television stations that when we moved three years ago, we didn’t bother subscribing to cable. We’ve found plenty to watch with an antenna and streaming services.

How do you convince yourself to step away from the screen? Please share your suggestions in the comments section.

Christmas Time is Here

The end of the year brings extra work at our companies: performance reviews, customer appreciations, year end financial closes, etc. Unfortunately these tasks happen at the same time we want to celebrate the holidays. How can we make the most of our time off work?

Unplug

This isn’t practical if we’re on call (doctors, firefighters, retailers, developers, you get the picture), but if we’re not, let’s avoid checking email the entire time we’re off. If we simply can’t bear the thought (guilty), limit it. How do we recognize our limit? If we’re constantly wondering whether or not that elusive client has replied yet, then for peace of mind, check. Consider checking email or noodling on projects at a set time every day (e.g., when you get up in the morning over coffee); only work at that time and for a certain amount of time (thirty to sixty minutes, maybe). I realized it was time to do this when my mom told me to stop checking my work email during our Thanksgiving meal prep.

Volunteer

We can go with a group or on our own. We can greet at our church’s Christmas Eve services or bag at our local food pantries. Giving our family and/or friends our full attention while serving our communities creates bonds that strengthens both our relationships and our mental health. Besides, we never know whom we might be serving alongside. Plenty of people meet potential employers while volunteering.

Relax

Holiday commitments often mean doing things we don’t want to (travel, making small talk with distant relatives, etc.). Let’s set aside a day, or at least a few hours, before January 2, to do something we want to do. Need some suggestions? If you’re an introvert, curl up with a book and hot cocoa or get that massage you desperately need but keep putting off. If you’re an extrovert, meet up with some friends for last-minute shopping, brunch, or a spa day.

Sleep

Time off is an opportunity to start a healthy routine of going to bed and getting up at the same time every day. If we’re visiting family or friends who want us to stay with them, but we have to crash on the couch, consider getting a hotel room. To me, having a place to retreat to rest is worth the cost.

Make Memories

Part of the fun of the holidays is remembering them for years afterward. Let’s create and participate in activities we can reminisce over. They don’t have to be expensive: make gingerbread cookies, embark on a selfie scavenger hunt, hold a board game tournament. Any activity that’s out of the ordinary (and maybe out of our comfort zones) will help us make memories to fondly recall in the years to come.

No matter how we choose to spend our time off, let’s commit to being present, eliminating as many distractions as possible, leaving our phones and laptops in another room, pushing some social engagements into January, and making time to focus on nurturing relationships and recharging ourselves.

Please share in the comments section how you intend to spend time away from work this holiday.

Tidings of Comfort and Joy

And just like that…it’s December. Welcome to the end of the year! As we push to make our quotas, thank our customers for their business, and prepare for holiday celebrations, let’s schedule time in our calendars for play. You read me. I wrote p-l-a-y. There are plenty of opportunities this month for frivolity and we should take advantage of them for a very practical reason. Play helps us work.

Lynn Barnett, a professor of recreation, sports and tourism at the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign says, “At work, play has been found to speed up learning, enhance productivity and increase job satisfaction.” In this article, she also says, “Highly playful adults feel the same stressors as anyone else, but they appear to experience and react to them differently, allowing stressors to roll off more easily than those who are less playful.” In his book, Play: How it Shapes the Brain, Opens the Imagination, and Invigorates the Soul, Dr. Stuart Brown says, “Respecting our biologically programmed need for play can transform work. It can bring back excitement and newness to our job…work does not work without play.”

For example, when we concentrate on figuring out a problem, our minds can get stuck in an endless loop going over the same details. If we take a break and focus on something else, we get new data to process. Although it’s counterintuitive; the more stress we’re under, the more we need play in order to function. When we get up from our desks and move around, blood flow to our brains increases and we think better. If we walk to the break room and enter a conversation, we foster teamwork. These activities refresh our energy and can prevent burnout by letting our brains reboot and receive input that has nothing to do with our problem. We naturally apply this new data to our challenge. We start to think creatively. We stop thinking about how we’ve solved problems in the past. We stop worrying about the consequences for a minute and imagine what would happen if anything goes. This permits us to relax and look at it from another angle. The situation looks totally different if we’re standing on our heads instead of our feet. When we see something differently and present it in a new light, that’s innovation and it might just trigger a solution. Gymnastics anyone?

For play to have a positive effect on our work we should do it everyday, so we need to schedule it and give it priority. Play is an activity that has no purpose and is considered non-productive. We can do it alone or with others. Here are some examples of play that don’t necessarily cost money:

Read a book
Pet your pet
Watch your favorite artist’s concert footage on YouTube
Drive around looking at neighborhood Christmas lights
Toss a football
Crossword puzzles
Board games

George Bernard Shaw said, “We don’t stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing.” This holiday season when kids are defined as from one to ninety-two, let’s make time to play.

Please share how you’re going to incorporate play into your seasonal celebration in the comments section.

Summer Slump?

Summer weekends bring more daylight hours, lots of community activities, and plenty of opportunities to get outside and forget about work. It almost feels like a mini-vacation. Then Monday comes. My inbox overflows because something happened on Saturday. A project halts because a coworker is on vacation. Interruptions prevent me from completing anything. Mondays seem more difficult during the summer. Here are some things I do to make them easier.

Saturday: I sleep in thirty minutes later than during the week signaling my body the routine is different today. During the week, I allow stuff to pile up: laundry, bills, personal email, etc., so I tackle the low hanging fruit early in the day. Saturday is the day to grocery shop, clean bathrooms, change bed linens, and food prep. This leaves the rest of the day to relax. Unless a work emergency happens, I don’t think about the office and I don’t check my email.

Sunday: Again, I sleep in thirty minutes later than normal and get stuff done early. I like to do something meaningful like take a walk with my husband to watch the sun rise, watch our church’s service, write a LinkedIn article, or read. I also try to connect with other people by FaceTiming our daughter, texting my parents, or having coffee with a friend. (Some other suggestions: volunteer, ride bikes with nieces/nephews, brunch with friends.) Then, I get a head start on the week. Around 6:30pm I glance at my calendar for the upcoming week and check my work email in case something’s come up affecting one of Monday’s meetings. I don’t reply unless it’s an emergency. The only thing I may do is send myself a reminder note regarding what’s coming up this week and what I need to do to prepare for it. After that, I set out clothes for the next day so I have one less thing to think about on Monday morning. These minor actions eliminate the Sunday Scaries so I can enjoy my last evening before work.

Monday: I get out of bed at my normal work-week time and try to ease re-entry. I get to the office about ninety minutes before my first meeting of the day to set up my work space, get coffee and water, take action on any reminder emails I sent myself yesterday, and check my notes from Friday. As the day progresses, I take short breaks to increase my productivity. During these breaks, I may reward myself by checking social media, but just one platform so I don’t fall down that rabbit hole and lose track of time. I also try to change my scenery. If it’s nice outside, I can walk around the building. Thirty minutes before before the end of the day, I take stock and make to-do lists for tomorrow so that summer Monday feeling doesn’t bleed into Tuesday.

Do summer Mondays seem harder to you too? Please share what you do to combat the summer slump in the comments section.

Get Some Rest

March feels never ending. It’s 31 days long, we lose an hour thanks to daylight savings time, and there are no holidays to close the office; unless your boss is a BIG March Madness or St. Patrick’s Day fan. March ends Q1, so you might work overtime to reach goal. March means the end of the school year is close, so you may be prepping for graduation or researching summer break childcare options for your little ones. Being busy all the time used to be glamorous, but now we’ve reached the tipping point and exhaustion is not a good look for us. Here’s a novel idea: Get some rest.

Pursue It – Rest doesn’t just happen. We have to go after it. Consider hiring a service to clean your house so after a particularly challenging work week you can spend Saturday morning watching the TV instead of dusting it. Take advantage of your grocery’s at-home delivery occasionally. Hire a sitter for a few hours. These aren’t luxuries. They’re emotionally intelligent ways to manage stress.

Schedule It – Rest allows our minds, bodies, and spirits to refresh, recharge, and repair. We need it at regular intervals and on a perpetual basis. Don’t cancel, postpone, or feel guilty about choosing it over chores or going out. When “My weekend is all booked” memes appear on my social media feeds, I’m reminded to put reading for pleasure on my calendar. Maybe your version of rest is a solo activity like a Sunday morning run. Or maybe it’s a group activity like brunch with squad. Either way, calendar your commitment and keep it.

Respect It – It’s not weak to need to rest; it’s human. Don’t be ashamed to recognize you need it. Prioritizing rest boosts both our creativity and productivity. I get up from my desk about once an hour to stretch, look out my office window to refocus my eyes, and hydrate. My brain solves problems faster when my attention is focused on something other than the problem.

Often, we don’t know how badly we need rest until after we get it. When we feel a little wonky we assume it’s a virus coming on or just the 3:00PM let down so we grab another cup of coffee and keep pushing. For example: For fourteen months I worked a full-time day job and a part-time side gig logging about sixty hours a week. I felt fine. I even had a theme song: “Non-Stop” from Hamilton. My full-time work didn’t suffer so it wasn’t until a couple of months after I left my side gig when I realized how different I felt. I thought clearer. I didn’t need as much caffeine to function. I felt in the moment as opposed to watching myself from outside my body. That’s how I knew I had to give up my side gig, btw. So before you start having out of body experiences too, get some rest!

How do you know it’s time to take a break? Please share in the comments section below.