My husband and I took a walk. As we cut through an apartment complex parking lot, I pointed to some cracks in the asphalt. “Isn’t this relatively new?” I asked. “It’s less than two years old,” he said. “Those are stress fractures.” That is the perfect way to describe my psyche right now. COVID-19 feels like death by 1000 paper cuts. Every setback stings, but the wound isn’t deep enough to kill. The entire planet is in a strange kind of war. The enemy is a virus we can’t see with the naked eye and everyday it torturously takes something or someone away from us. To fight this enemy, it may be time to employ survival psychology. We can start with the advice of someone who has fought in a more traditional kind of war: Admiral James Stockdale.
“You must never confuse faith that you will prevail in the end-which you can never afford to lose-with the discipline to confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.” – James Stockdale
That is the crux of the Stockdale Paradox. Introduced by Jim Collins in his book Good to Great, the Stockdale Paradox is the mindset the admiral developed while he was a POW for over seven years during the Vietnam War. Stockdale was the highest-ranking United States military officer held in the Hanoi Hilton. He had other prisoners to lead. He was tortured over 20 times. He had no set release date. He survived by blending hard pragmatism with unwavering hope for the future. Here is more of his story.
Problem:
Our current problems are epic: the pandemic, global racial unrest, the weather is threatening all over the planet, the global economy showing signs of disintegrating. We talk about a vaccine like it’s going to rescue us and magically return the world to our pre-COVID-19 state; but the people, places, and things we’ve lost since March are not coming back. We have to adjust to the new abnormal. But how do we develop a mindset that keeps us going?
Solution:
The Stockdale Paradox has two directives: have faith we will prevail in the end and discipline to face the facts of our current reality. Here are some ways we can practice it.
- Faith – the pandemic will end; discipline – doing our part (e.g., wearing masks in public, social distancing, etc.) to keep each other safe until it does.
- Faith – people of all colors can work together; discipline – we can encourage, listen, and learn from difficult conversations.
- Faith – we can slow climate change; discipline – unplugging our computers when not in use.
- Faith – we can survive an economic recession; discipline – only use our emergency funds for legitimate emergencies.
Result:
Notice the Stockdale Paradox doesn’t espouse optimism. Admiral Stockdale said the optimists were the ones who did not make it out of the Hanoi Hilton alive. You can read about that here. Managing both of the instructions in the Stockdale Paradox results in hope. If we hope for the best and prepare for the worst, we can give and receive compassion, support, and community. It’s uncomfortable, but we can do this.
How are you keeping hope alive? Please share in the comments section.