We have arrived at the end of another year. Being the data geek that I am, I analyzed the stats to see what articles received the most views. If you missed these conversations, or you’d like to revisit them, here are the top three most viewed articles in each category.
Thank you for walking down memory lane with me. The best holiday gift you can give me this year is your feedback. What topics did you like? What other topics would you like to discuss? What challenges at work do you need help solving? Please share in the comments.
I’m hearing a lot of “Good riddance 2020,” as if at the stroke of midnight on Friday our current situation will magically vanish. Pretty to think so, but I reckon at 12:01AM on January 1, 2021, we’ll still be facing a global pandemic, social unrest, political infighting, an economic crisis, and murder hornets. Maybe I’m just a pessimist. You’ve probably attended more than one meeting where someone started a sentence with, “Hindsight being 20-20…” We’re rapidly approaching the time when 2020 will literally (and I don’t use that word often) be in hindsight. Instead of wishing it away, let’s decide what we can learn from it. Here is my Top 5 List of Things We Should Remember After 2020.
5. Going Out
Remember those health department ratings we used to ignore at the entrance to our favorite restaurant? We’ll be checking out those hygiene standards the next time we’re allowed to dine in. We’ve learned to make fun out of whatever is handy: board games, YouTube videos, a musical instrument; we should keep doing that. Quarantine squashed FOMO since there was no out to fear missing. We can normalize ditching happy hour in favor of personal development like learning a foreign language.
4. Travel
Remember what flying was like prior to September 11, 2001? Well, here we go again. Some pandemic travel restrictions may be permanent. Plus, CFOs’ eyes are now open to how much money their companies can save using virtual options for meetings, recruitment, and conventions. We can stop stocking up on travel-size toothpaste.
3. School
Remember parent-teacher conferences? Both parents and teachers had to take off work, arrange childcare, and cram months of learning issues into a ten minute meeting. The number of students failing their classes is on the rise since the shift to online learning. We can transition to parent-teacher teleconferences. Engaging in a ten minute 1:1 from wherever we are twice a month has to be more effective for parents, teachers, and students.
2. Work
Remember when essential workers were practically invisible? They taught our children, stocked our grocery shelves, repaired our roads, monitored our health, etc. While their contributions are still front and center, we can do the hard work of figuring out childcare, equal pay for equal work, and affordable healthcare, as a start.
1. Home
Remember when we only cleaned our homes when company was coming over? Now we disinfect every surface, every hand, and every package that enters our abode. While we can probably calm down a bit after mass vaccinations, regular hand-washing for 20 seconds is a good habit to hang on to.
2020 reminded us to slow down, buy from local small businesses, and everyone reacts to stress differently. For me, the hard lesson of 2020 is: It’s okay not to be okay. While it gives me opportunity to be strong when others are weak, I discovered it’s difficult for me to invite help when I’m weak. Let’s not be the guy who thinks he can control the uncontrollable. Someone needs to be vulnerable and admit he’s struggling. In 2021, let’s be him. Let’s be that guy.
What are some lessons you want to take with you when 2020 ends? Please share in the comments section.
Another stimulus check may (or may not) be coming. Stores are reopening and we’re bored in the house. This combination is dangerous because it gives us opportunities to spend money we either don’t have or can’t afford to waste. With the end of the pandemic nowhere in sight, the impact on our finances is really just beginning, yet we want to support the economy. What can we do to be smart shoppers?
Food
Make a grocery list and stick to it. If the store’s displays are just too tempting, shop the store online and use their pickup or delivery service.
Download the store’s app and activate their loyalty card.
Download the store’s coupons, but only for items we regularly use.
Wait for sales on the items for which we’ve downloaded coupons.
Eat before grocery shopping. This makes a huge difference for me. Walking through the bakery (or the valley of the shadow of death, as I like to call it) isn’t nearly as tempting on a full stomach as it is on an empty one.
Recognize some food manufacturers are playing sleight of hand with us. For example, the brand of chicken wings we buy used to put a dozen hot wings in a bag. Now, the price is the same, but there are nine wings in the bag.
Clothing
Shop Goodwill, Salvation Army, and local thrift stores.
Opt for classic pieces instead of trendy. I found this suit and loved it in cobalt blue, but it was also available in black. Guess which color I purchased. Yep. I’m more confident a black suit will still be in style next year than I am about a cobalt blue one.
Wait to purchase until the end of a season. Swimsuits are cheaper at the end of July; winter coats are cheaper in March.
Leave items in our online carts for 24 hours. This cooling off period allows us to contemplate whether we really need the merchandise. When I do this, some retailers email me a reminder I still have items in my cart and offer a discount to entice me to finish the transaction.
Shelter
Borrow maintenance equipment we need for one-time only use; think a ladder or steam cleaner.
For items we’ll use more often, check a price comparison app before purchasing.
Think about how often we use something. For example, when it’s time to replace my coffee pot, I go for quality because we use it every day, then, I look at the price. It’s cheaper to invest in a well-made product than frequently replace an ill-made one. Since I don’t drink tea every day, I purchased a cheap electric kettle.
When in doubt, we shouldn’t spend money right now. If we can live without the items, let’s do. There will always be fun stuff to spend money on. Self care: yes, Treat yo self: not right now.
How do you practice shopping smart these days? Please share your tips in the comments section.
My husband and I took a walk. As we cut through an apartment complex parking lot, I pointed to some cracks in the asphalt. “Isn’t this relatively new?” I asked. “It’s less than two years old,” he said. “Those are stress fractures.” That is the perfect way to describe my psyche right now. COVID-19 feels like death by 1000 paper cuts. Every setback stings, but the wound isn’t deep enough to kill. The entire planet is in a strange kind of war. The enemy is a virus we can’t see with the naked eye and everyday it torturously takes something or someone away from us. To fight this enemy, it may be time to employ survival psychology. We can start with the advice of someone who has fought in a more traditional kind of war: Admiral James Stockdale.
“You must never confuse faith that you will prevail in the end-which you can never afford to lose-with the discipline to confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.” – James Stockdale
That is the crux of the Stockdale Paradox. Introduced by Jim Collins in his book Good to Great, the Stockdale Paradox is the mindset the admiral developed while he was a POW for over seven years during the Vietnam War. Stockdale was the highest-ranking United States military officer held in the Hanoi Hilton. He had other prisoners to lead. He was tortured over 20 times. He had no set release date. He survived by blending hard pragmatism with unwavering hope for the future. Here is more of his story.
Problem:
Our current problems are epic: the pandemic, global racial unrest, the weather is threatening all over the planet, the global economy showing signs of disintegrating. We talk about a vaccine like it’s going to rescue us and magically return the world to our pre-COVID-19 state; but the people, places, and things we’ve lost since March are not coming back. We have to adjust to the new abnormal. But how do we develop a mindset that keeps us going?
Solution:
The Stockdale Paradox has two directives: have faith we will prevail in the end and discipline to face the facts of our current reality. Here are some ways we can practice it.
Faith – the pandemic will end; discipline – doing our part (e.g., wearing masks in public, social distancing, etc.) to keep each other safe until it does.
Faith – people of all colors can work together; discipline – we can encourage, listen, and learn from difficult conversations.
Faith – we can slow climate change; discipline – unplugging our computers when not in use.
Faith – we can survive an economic recession; discipline – only use our emergency funds for legitimate emergencies.
Result:
Notice the Stockdale Paradox doesn’t espouse optimism. Admiral Stockdale said the optimists were the ones who did not make it out of the Hanoi Hilton alive. You can read about that here. Managing both of the instructions in the Stockdale Paradox results in hope. If we hope for the best and prepare for the worst, we can give and receive compassion, support, and community. It’s uncomfortable, but we can do this.
How are you keeping hope alive? Please share in the comments section.
We’re celebrating Labor Day weekend, the national holiday acknowledging the contribution of American workers to the innovation, development, and strength of our economy. But not everyone who would like to be employed right now is thanks to COVID 19. And some employers are making the job search increasingly difficult by using a deception called breadcrumbing.
What Is It?
Typically associated with romantic relationships, breadcrumbing gained traction in business vocabulary during COVID-19. It’s when someone stays in contact just enough to keep us hanging onto hope for a relationship. In terms of job seeking, the company we interviewed with says it wants us, but keeps insisting it needs a little more time to make a decision.
What Does It Look Like?
I’ve attended two networking events during the past month where two job seekers, both furloughed by the pandemic, said potential employers are flirting with them, but seem to have no intention of hiring. One attendee said she’s applied for 75 positions since March, and only heard back from two or three. She doesn’t believe the other 70+ were interviewing or actively hiring. The other attendee said she’s also applied for several positions, and most of her results went like this: She gets notified a job has just been posted. She applies the same day. Two days later she gets a “We’ve gone with someone else” email. How can the company have made that decision within 48 hours? She suspects the job may not actually exist yet, and companies are either just fishing or amassing a pool of applicants for post-COVID-19 hires. Both job seekers are struggling with how demotivating this makes their searches.
What Is Going On?
In real estate terms, it’s a buyer’s market. There are more workers than jobs, so companies have the luxury of developing a roster. But other factors could be at play; HR may be holding things up. Payroll budgets may be getting tweaked; especially if the company is hiring for multiple positions. If the hiring manager and HR aren’t communicating about the hiring process, it will take longer. If the company has a policy of posting open positions externally, they may interview to fulfill the policy, while actually intending to hire an existing internal candidate. Maybe the company is trying to figure out what department the candidate will fit, the best role isn’t open, or it’s waiting to see if someone more qualified applies. Maybe the company is just plain disorganized.
What Can We Do?
Respectfully call out the hiring manager. “Our interview was two weeks ago. I have the impression the company is still interested, as am I, but I’m considering other offers. Can you please give me some idea of how close the company is to selecting a candidate?” Otherwise: network, network, network. It’s one of the best ways to vet job openings. Use LinkedIn contacts. Look for Zoom networking events as well as in person. Join groups. There are plenty to choose from. There are groups on social media (Facebook and LinkedIn come immediately to mind). There are industry groups (e.g., IT, manufacturing, sales, etc). There are special interest groups (e.g. Women in Business Networking, Chambers of Commerce), and Alumni groups.
Personally, I’ve connected friends seeking jobs with people in my networking groups who have open positions. If you are looking for employment, please direct message me. I’m happy to help.
Have you been breadcrumbed? Please share your story in the comments section.
Finding and maintaining business relationships is so important it has its own word: networking. Pre-COVID-19, the default technique was in person, in a group, with snacks. Meeting people powers business. We get together to build trust, show respect, demonstrate commitment, and form long term relationships. When we connected with someone, we’d further the conversation at a later date, either at one of our offices or restaurant.
When instructed to shelter at home, we immediately virtualized it, but now we’re dipping our toes back into the networking and 1:1 meeting ponds. It’s not unusual to run from a teleconference in my home office to a 1:1 at a coffee shop.
This transition is exhausting, but it helps when I remember guidelines for COVID-19 change daily for the entire world. We can’t realistically absorb all the available information, and no one has all the answers. We can have patience, extend grace, and be prepared to pivot. For example, when setting an appointment we acknowledge we’d rather meet in person, but offering a teleconference as a back up is currently the best practice.
We could just talk on the phone. (Remember when talking to someone was the only thing we did with phones?) I had a couple of 1:1 calls recently and they were refreshing! Eliminating the sense of sight allowed me to concentrate on the person’s voice and take notes. I didn’t have to wonder if I was using enough non-verbals to show I was paying attention. I had to remind myself to respond with verbal cues (e.g.,“uh-huh,” “yes,” “tell me more,” etc.) so the speaker would know I was listening. It was a great communication exercise.
When we meet face to face, it’s prudent to call the venue ahead and ask if they allow indoor seating yet. If they have outdoor seating, that’s even better, but requires the weather to cooperate. We should move our chairs six feet apart. If we purchase drinks or food, we should pay with our credit/debit card. We should wear a mask, carry hand sanitizer, not shake hands (and maybe comment on it; e.g., “I hope someone comes up with a substitution for handshaking soon.”) We should take our temperatures before leaving the house (and tell our 1:1s upon arrival). We should be prepared for cancellations as COVID-19 conditions daily change.
Now that we’ve had over three months experience with teleconferencing, here is something I’ve found useful. Begin the meeting at five minutes after the hour or half hour and end five minutes before the hour or half hour. Odds are the person meeting with me is coming from an earlier meeting, and/or has another one after ours. Giving them five minutes to transition demonstrates consideration for their schedule.
Respect is the key, both giving it and requesting it. When choosing whether to meet in person or virtually, it’s fair to say, “I’d rather teleconference. My family is taking social distancing very seriously.” We should also not be surprised to hear that sentence from the person we intend to meet. COVID-19 is turning into a marathon rather than a sprint. Minding our meeting manners is a small way we can help each other to the finish line.
Are the majority of your meetings still virtual? Please tell us about them in the comments section.
For many of us, it’s a long holiday weekend to celebrate Independence Day. But thanks to COVID-19, I don’t feel very independent. I walk out the door then stop to make sure I have my mask. Before setting an appointment for a one-on-one, I have to call coffee shops and ask if they allow indoor seating. To go to the office, or not to go to the office; that is the question. Maybe I should take some time between Hamilton viewings to reflect, reality check, remaster, and renew.
Reflect
Gratitude is my default setting for pulling out of rumination. I keep a gratitude journal and write in it as part of my morning routine. I record one thing I’m grateful for from the previous day. When I start down the rabbit hole of feeling sorry for myself, I pull out the gratitude journal to snap out of it. I habitually focus on my goal and ignore the journey I’m on to reach it. Achieving the goal is fabulous, but wisdom comes from what I do daily to accomplish it.
Reality Check
Have you seen a bunch of memes on your social media feeds that say the most useless purchase of 2019 was a 2020 planner? It’s funny because it’s true. The goals we set at the beginning of this year are mostly impractical now. Yet, we beat ourselves up for not being on track to reach them. For example, my company planned to grow our new division this year. We’re having difficulty getting traction and I blamed myself. So, I turned to my best networking friends for a reality check. I felt better when they validated business is slow for everyone. This prompted me to refocus my outreach. What are my clients’ biggest needs right now? Can I provide a resource for them even if it’s not my company? If I can help my community get through the pandemic, then they will still be around to talk business post COVID-19.
Remaster
Much like a rock band re-recording an old hit song to improve its quality, let’s revise our yearly goals. We can break them down into smaller goals to help us stay motivated. We can concentrate on short term goals. (E.g., ask ourselves, “What is one thing I can I do today?”) We can break our revised goals down into actionable steps and calendar them so we’re triggered to action. When contemplating a new goal, we should ask ourselves,“Is this reasonable during COVID-19?” We can track our efforts (you know I’ll use any excuse to start a spreadsheet) and review them after Q3. We can identify someone willing to be an accountability partner and check in with each other weekly for progress reports.
Renew
Surviving COVID-19 is a marathon. Small daily acts of self-care (take a walk, read an article, listen to a podcast) can be rewards for taking another step toward our goals. Setbacks feel more painful right now, but let’s hold on, keep trying, and support one another.
How are you reflecting on the first half of 2020 and preparing for the second? Please share your ideas in the comments section.
Father’s Day has me thinking about how patient my dad was.
There was the time I:
woke the whole house by climbing up in the attic and walking on the creaky floor over my parents’ bedroom early one morning
overcorrected a turn and drove into a yard at the top of a hill while learning to drive
flushed an item down the toilet and clogged the septic tank
These mistakes were explained to me (usually) calmly and corrections were requested (usually) just as calmly. He made me feel like I made a mistake, not like I was a mistake. There’s a big difference and it’s easy to miscommunicate. He made sure I knew my imperfections didn’t stop him from loving me. How often do we beat ourselves up because we feel like we failed? Three instances occur to me.
Failed Goals
When setbacks happen at work, it helps to remember our past successes. (If you don’t keep a success list for performance reviews, start. Now.) After reassuring ourselves, let’s reframe. This isn’t a failure, it’s an experiment. Was it a S.M.A.R.T. goal? Can we extend the deadline? Do we need additional resources to reach it? What if we tweak the process? We can analyze the data, then make a decision.
Failed Expectations
I registered to attend a free webinar given by a colleague. It was his second one. For the first one, he requested my help cohosting and I assumed (you know what assuming does) he’d want help again. Then I discovered a meeting scheduled for the same time that I’d rather attend because I’d have an opportunity to invite those participants to a webinar I was presenting the following week. I was disappointed I couldn’t attend the meeting. Then, I thought. “Why can’t I?”
The angel on one shoulder argued with the devil on my other shoulder:
Angel: Because you made a commitment.
Devil: They’ll be another webinar next quarter. Cancel the registration.
Angel: Your colleague will want your help again.
Devil: He hasn’t asked for it.
Angel: But you always put others’ interests ahead of your own.
THAT did it. I decided to attend the meeting instead of the webinar and if people think less of me for choosing what’s best for me, so be it.
Failed First Try
The team shot down my first idea for the website refresh in the project meeting this week. Does that mean I shouldn’t suggest another one next week? Is everyone judging me? Should I give up trying to be creative because I’m obviously embarrassing myself? Truth: my team probably forgot about my idea as soon as they left the Zoom room. I can’t remember what Joe’s big-SEO-lead-magnet-idea-that-tanked at last week’s meeting was. No one is holding our imperfections against us; except us. Let’s throw out our fixed mindsets and adopt growth mindsets. What exactly was it about my idea the team didn’t like? Was there a kernel of the idea they did like? Can I cultivate it and bring a revised idea to next week’s meeting? Struggling reminds us we’re stretching. Let’s not allow our mistakes to define us.
What flavor of imperfection is bugging you this week? Please share in the comments section.
For the last two (plus) months, COVID-19 has thrust circumstances on us: our jobs are harder (or gone), household chores multiplied, the kids’ online school had to be supervised, loss of autonomy, using technology to stay in touch with those we aren’t supposed to physically touch, etc. I’m sure your list is different and longer. I’ve awakened every day wondering, “What fresh hell can this be?” George Floyd’s death was a horrifying answer. Now that I’m awake, it’s time to stop and think about what I can do to make a positive difference; especially in the workforce. We were inundated by information last week. This is simplistic (Look, Listen, Learn), but I’ve got to begin my education in systemic racism somewhere.
Look
When it comes to work, I’m task oriented. I want to get through the Zoom, email, or report and get back to the work ASAP. I don’t often stop to acknowledge what’s going on outside the office even when it’s a protest. I don’t talk about how what I experience outside of work affects my ability to work. But systemic racism exponentially affects society’s ability to get anything done. How can our team do our best work if a coworker’s opinion gets discounted because of the color of her skin? Here is a good article on ways we can support our Black coworkers. Here’s a good article on what not to say.
Listen
It’s no longer enough to be non-racist. It’s time to be anti-racist; especially if we are in leadership positions. Here is a good article with practical suggestions. We must initiate the difficult conversations. We have to listen, particularly when it’s painful. Treating others the way we want to be treated isn’t enough, we must seek to understand. We have to make sure our teams know they are seen, heard, and we have their backs. We need to get comfortable with being uncomfortable. The truth will hurt, but we could have a change of heart if we would only change our minds. We have to use our vote to demand accountability from our elected officials.
Learn
I don’t know what I don’t know, so research is my first instinct. Because racism can come in the form of being dismissed, (“What did he do to draw the attention of the police?”) I thought racism was like sexual harassment. I felt like, on a shallow level, I could empathize. But it’s not like sexual harassment, is it? For example, I’m not afraid of a police officer stopping me on my way to the office because I’m female. How did we get so messed up? Trevor Noah gives a good summation.
I apologize for my ignorance. I’ve got a lot to learn and maybe even more to unlearn. I hope you’ll be patient with me. When I’m quietly standing beside you, it’s not because I won’t defend you; it’s because I want to amplify your voice.
If you have trusted resources for learning about systemic racism, please share them in the comments section.
Many of us received money from the US government through the CARES Act. What should we do with it? For those who lost their jobs, it’s obvious. But for those still working, not so much. Just because we have a job now, doesn’t mean we’ll have it tomorrow. The longer physical distancing is imposed, the more of us could lose our jobs (the forecast for April was 20%). Then there are those whose jobs are considered essential and the paychecks come as usual. With all this uncertainty, what is the wisest thing to do the money?
The Obvious
If we’ve lost our jobs or been furloughed thanks to COVID-19, the stimulus money can go for what the government intended it to buy. Necessities like paying bills (mortgage (or rent), utilities, medical, etc.), buying food, diapers, cleaning supplies, face masks, gloves, cat litter, or dog toys (Our fur babies are in quarantine too, ya know!) is the reason the U.S. Senate released these funds. Let’s use them to buy time to find an alternate (hopefully temporary) income.
The Not-so Obvious
If our jobs are in jeopardy thanks to COVID-19, the stimulus money can go for things that will give us peace of mind. If we owe federal, state, and/or local taxes, we can send the money back by July 15 (that’s when our 2019 taxes are now due). If we have debt like student loans, car loans, or credit card debt, the stimulus money can make a dent in these bills. If we aren’t carrying debt, stimulus money would make a good emergency fund or seed money for an I-lost-my-job fund (3-6 months of expenses).
The Not-at-all Obvious
If our jobs are essential and our income hasn’t decreased thanks to COVID-19, the stimulus money can go for buying our futures. We can add it to (or start up) an IRA. If we’re comfortable with a bit of gambling, this is a good time to invest in the stock market. It would be wise to engage a financial advisor (ask friends for recommendations) or at least read this. Or, we can choose to be generous with the extra money. Here is a resource to search for reputable charities to support. Also, we can use the money to support local small businesses. The big chains like Domino’s, Dunkin’, and Don Pedro’s will survive, but our favorite Mom and Pop owned pizzerias, doughnut shops, and Mexican restaurants may not. We can order take out or buy gift cards. Know a local home improvement company still open because they are an essential business? Now may be a good time to add that deck (or something else on the house’s exterior). Here is a resource for the Dayton, OH area.
If we choose to save the money now, we’ll spend it eventually, so there’s no wrong way to use our stimulus checks. Please share how you’re using yours in the comments section.
