Mardi Humphreys

Tick Tock Your Life is a Clock

You don’t have to make sweeping changes to the way you work to be more productive. COVID-19 has already brought sweeping changes to the way you work. Whether you are back in the office or still remote, little tweaks to your processes can have big results by the end of the week.

Concentrate

Multitasking is a myth. Even if you only spend five minutes concentrating on one task, you’ll get it done faster. You can’t prevent interruptions, but you can minimize distractions like silencing your phone and putting it out of reach so you can’t hear the social media notifications going off. Be proactive and don’t instantly react. Let the phone call go to voicemail. Let the email that just arrived sit in the inbox. Refuse the ad hoc meeting. Turn off instant message. Mute the computer. Are you a procrastinator? If your manager does not do regular accountability meetings, assign yourself project deadlines and write up your own weekly status reports. Take the last half hour of the day to determine what can be put off until tomorrow. The list should be both specific and realistic. For example: achieving inbox zero is not an acceptable task. Return Boss’s email regarding corporate holiday gifts, is. Calendar tasks that are important, but not urgent for times in your day you can count on having a quiet space in which to work.

Control

Most of us are really bad at estimating the passage of time. Keep track of how much you actually spend on tasks, including checking social media. An app may help. If the task is something you can do in less than five minutes, do it. Is there a task you’ve been dreading? Do it first and get it over with. When you receive a meeting request, ask yourself if your presence is necessary. Can you request an email summary or delegate someone else to attend? Speaking of email, most of it is someone adding a task to our list. Check your inbox at regular intervals. (Because you’ve muted the notification, right?) As soon as you log on, reply to every message that takes no more than two minutes to answer. If the message takes longer, write a rough draft, but don’t send it. A couple of hours later, refine it, and send it if you’re satisfied, then, repeat the process with the emails that arrived during that time. Schedule tasks according to when you feel most alert. Do deep work when you have the most brain power and routine tasks when you have the least.Take a break. Get up and stretch, walk around the block, or check social media. Change your scenery. Going outside or even just to a different room can boost your productivity.

You will get distracted and you will get mad at yourself for it. Forgive yourself and move on. Don’t overthink. Complete is greater than perfect. Do it. Leave it. Return to it. When all you’re changing are nitpicky details, submit it.

What are your productivity tips? Please share them in the comments section.

Shop Smart

Another stimulus check may (or may not) be coming. Stores are reopening and we’re bored in the house. This combination is dangerous because it gives us opportunities to spend money we either don’t have or can’t afford to waste. With the end of the pandemic nowhere in sight, the impact on our finances is really just beginning, yet we want to support the economy. What can we do to be smart shoppers?

Food

Make a grocery list and stick to it. If the store’s displays are just too tempting, shop the store online and use their pickup or delivery service.
Download the store’s app and activate their loyalty card.
Download the store’s coupons, but only for items we regularly use.
Wait for sales on the items for which we’ve downloaded coupons.
Eat before grocery shopping. This makes a huge difference for me. Walking through the bakery (or the valley of the shadow of death, as I like to call it) isn’t nearly as tempting on a full stomach as it is on an empty one.
Recognize some food manufacturers are playing sleight of hand with us. For example, the brand of chicken wings we buy used to put a dozen hot wings in a bag. Now, the price is the same, but there are nine wings in the bag.

Clothing

Shop Goodwill, Salvation Army, and local thrift stores.
Opt for classic pieces instead of trendy. I found this suit and loved it in cobalt blue, but it was also available in black. Guess which color I purchased. Yep. I’m more confident a black suit will still be in style next year than I am about a cobalt blue one.
Wait to purchase until the end of a season. Swimsuits are cheaper at the end of July; winter coats are cheaper in March.
Leave items in our online carts for 24 hours. This cooling off period allows us to contemplate whether we really need the merchandise. When I do this, some retailers email me a reminder I still have items in my cart and offer a discount to entice me to finish the transaction.

Shelter

Borrow maintenance equipment we need for one-time only use; think a ladder or steam cleaner.
For items we’ll use more often, check a price comparison app before purchasing.
Think about how often we use something. For example, when it’s time to replace my coffee pot, I go for quality because we use it every day, then, I look at the price. It’s cheaper to invest in a well-made product than frequently replace an ill-made one. Since I don’t drink tea every day, I purchased a cheap electric kettle.

When in doubt, we shouldn’t spend money right now. If we can live without the items, let’s do. There will always be fun stuff to spend money on. Self care: yes, Treat yo self: not right now.

How do you practice shopping smart these days? Please share your tips in the comments section.

Stress Fractures

My husband and I took a walk. As we cut through an apartment complex parking lot, I pointed to some cracks in the asphalt. “Isn’t this relatively new?” I asked. “It’s less than two years old,” he said. “Those are stress fractures.” That is the perfect way to describe my psyche right now. COVID-19 feels like death by 1000 paper cuts. Every setback stings, but the wound isn’t deep enough to kill. The entire planet is in a strange kind of war. The enemy is a virus we can’t see with the naked eye and everyday it torturously takes something or someone away from us. To fight this enemy, it may be time to employ survival psychology. We can start with the advice of someone who has fought in a more traditional kind of war: Admiral James Stockdale.

“You must never confuse faith that you will prevail in the end-which you can never afford to lose-with the discipline to confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.” – James Stockdale

That is the crux of the Stockdale Paradox. Introduced by Jim Collins in his book Good to Great, the Stockdale Paradox is the mindset the admiral developed while he was a POW for over seven years during the Vietnam War. Stockdale was the highest-ranking United States military officer held in the Hanoi Hilton. He had other prisoners to lead. He was tortured over 20 times. He had no set release date. He survived by blending hard pragmatism with unwavering hope for the future. Here is more of his story.

Problem:

Our current problems are epic: the pandemic, global racial unrest, the weather is threatening all over the planet, the global economy showing signs of disintegrating. We talk about a vaccine like it’s going to rescue us and magically return the world to our pre-COVID-19 state; but the people, places, and things we’ve lost since March are not coming back. We have to adjust to the new abnormal. But how do we develop a mindset that keeps us going?

Solution:

The Stockdale Paradox has two directives: have faith we will prevail in the end and discipline to face the facts of our current reality. Here are some ways we can practice it.

Faith – the pandemic will end; discipline – doing our part (e.g., wearing masks in public, social distancing, etc.) to keep each other safe until it does.
Faith – people of all colors can work together; discipline – we can encourage, listen, and learn from difficult conversations.
Faith – we can slow climate change; discipline – unplugging our computers when not in use.
Faith – we can survive an economic recession; discipline – only use our emergency funds for legitimate emergencies.

Result:

Notice the Stockdale Paradox doesn’t espouse optimism. Admiral Stockdale said the optimists were the ones who did not make it out of the Hanoi Hilton alive. You can read about that here. Managing both of the instructions in the Stockdale Paradox results in hope. If we hope for the best and prepare for the worst, we can give and receive compassion, support, and community. It’s uncomfortable, but we can do this.

How are you keeping hope alive? Please share in the comments section.

Crumbs From Your Table

We’re celebrating Labor Day weekend, the national holiday acknowledging the contribution of American workers to the innovation, development, and strength of our economy. But not everyone who would like to be employed right now is thanks to COVID 19. And some employers are making the job search increasingly difficult by using a deception called breadcrumbing.

What Is It?

Typically associated with romantic relationships, breadcrumbing gained traction in business vocabulary during COVID-19. It’s when someone stays in contact just enough to keep us hanging onto hope for a relationship. In terms of job seeking, the company we interviewed with says it wants us, but keeps insisting it needs a little more time to make a decision.

What Does It Look Like?

I’ve attended two networking events during the past month where two job seekers, both furloughed by the pandemic, said potential employers are flirting with them, but seem to have no intention of hiring. One attendee said she’s applied for 75 positions since March, and only heard back from two or three. She doesn’t believe the other 70+ were interviewing or actively hiring. The other attendee said she’s also applied for several positions, and most of her results went like this: She gets notified a job has just been posted. She applies the same day. Two days later she gets a “We’ve gone with someone else” email. How can the company have made that decision within 48 hours? She suspects the job may not actually exist yet, and companies are either just fishing or amassing a pool of applicants for post-COVID-19 hires. Both job seekers are struggling with how demotivating this makes their searches.

What Is Going On?

In real estate terms, it’s a buyer’s market. There are more workers than jobs, so companies have the luxury of developing a roster. But other factors could be at play; HR may be holding things up. Payroll budgets may be getting tweaked; especially if the company is hiring for multiple positions. If the hiring manager and HR aren’t communicating about the hiring process, it will take longer. If the company has a policy of posting open positions externally, they may interview to fulfill the policy, while actually intending to hire an existing internal candidate. Maybe the company is trying to figure out what department the candidate will fit, the best role isn’t open, or it’s waiting to see if someone more qualified applies. Maybe the company is just plain disorganized.

What Can We Do?

Respectfully call out the hiring manager. “Our interview was two weeks ago. I have the impression the company is still interested, as am I, but I’m considering other offers. Can you please give me some idea of how close the company is to selecting a candidate?” Otherwise: network, network, network. It’s one of the best ways to vet job openings. Use LinkedIn contacts. Look for Zoom networking events as well as in person. Join groups. There are plenty to choose from. There are groups on social media (Facebook and LinkedIn come immediately to mind). There are industry groups (e.g., IT, manufacturing, sales, etc). There are special interest groups (e.g. Women in Business Networking, Chambers of Commerce), and Alumni groups.

Personally, I’ve connected friends seeking jobs with people in my networking groups who have open positions. If you are looking for employment, please direct message me. I’m happy to help.

Have you been breadcrumbed? Please share your story in the comments section.

The Right Blend

When I purchase a coffee mug, it has to meet very specific requirements. It must hold (about) eight fluid ounces, be dishwasher and microwave safe, have a large(ish) handle, designed on both sides, and fit on my mug warmer. Building a project team is a lot like looking for the perfect coffee mug.

The Right Size

If my mug is too large, the coffee gets cold before I can drink it all. If it’s too small, I spend too much time refilling it. Likewise, if the team is too large, we have too many voices, opinions, and egos to manage. If it’s too small, we don’t have enough diversity of thought. We need various races, genders, ages, etc. represented on our teams.

Dishwasher and Microwave Safe

I’m not hand washing coffee mugs and I need to be able to reheat my coffee once it’s in the mug. Team meetings can be like dishwashers and microwave ovens; they can get hot. Meetings are for discussion and debate. When someone presents a concept, they are both invested in it, and in a vulnerable position presenting it. Rudely shooting it down (or not stepping in when a coworker does) is not an option if we want that team member to keep bringing ideas to meetings. Establishing a rule for kind and constructive feedback at the first meeting can create an environment where the team feels safe sharing.

A Handle on it

I need fairly large handles on my coffee mugs so I can control them. I need teammates with fairly large handles on their emotions for the same reason. Work can be a pressure cooker. Shouting, blame-shifting, and gossip are counter productive to problem solving. When we choose team members, we should consider people who have demonstrated emotional intelligence.

Designed on Both Sides

I like a mug that looks the same no matter which hand I hold it in. If it doesn’t, it feels unbalanced. A team should also be designed for balance. Consistently communicating goals and KPIs helps. In other words, where are we going, how are we getting there, and when do we know we’ve arrived? We not only need a communication loop with our teams, but they also need to communicate with each other. Well-designed communication includes plenty of modes for interaction: in person, teleconference, phone calls, texts, emails; and not just about the task at hand. Making time to find out more about each team member, (maybe an ice breaker to begin a team meeting, or a casual team lunch off site, or a team virtual coffee talk) bonds the team. We want the people we like to succeed. It makes sense to like the people on our team.

Fits the Warmer

When choosing a new coffee mug, the bottom must be less than 3 1/4” in diameter so it fits my mug warmer. When assembling a team, the people must fit the work and each other. What is the job description? What skills do our current teammates possess? What skills do we need? What temperaments need balanced? Is the team diverse? We should assess the culture and look for someone who will not only be comfortable in it, but contribute to it.

A good team, like a good coffee mug, meets the goals we’ve set and if we take care of it, can last for years.

What’s your framework for building a good team? Please share in the comments section.

Financial Infidelity

Back in March, we discussed financial fidelity. In the section on transparency, I alluded to the fact that hiding money from our spouses is cheating, but that was a whole ‘nuther post. Well, here it is.

As of January 2020, 44% of Americans with joint finances, cheated on our spouses with money. Anything hidden is considered cheating. For example: secret bank accounts (savings or checking), secret lottery winnings, secret debt (credit cards, loans), lost our job but acting like we didn’t, or spending money on an expensive item without discussion, can all be considered breaches of faith. Here are some behavioral tells to watch for: our spouse insists on paying all the bills, won’t divulge account logins, refuses to discuss money, or argues about spending large sums.

Why the deception?

Control: revenge spending
Guilt: knowing the spending was irresponsible
Fear: afraid of spouse’s reaction if discovered
Conflict Avoidance: we want something our spouse will object to

What’s the harm?

Lying about finances causes arguments, distrust, and can end the relationship. If we lie about money, what else will we lie about? Hiding money only delays the inevitable conversation about motive. If concealing debt is the issue, it could affect both spouses’s employment. Hiring managers check credit scores as part of the interview process. We shouldn’t have to tell each other every time we buy a venti at Starbucks, but we can’t run up $50K in credit card bills and keep it a secret. That will undermine the whole relationship. Some states’ laws make our finances our spouses’ finances. If the relationship ends and one spouse is in debt, both live with the responsibility until the debts are paid.

How do we fix it?

If we are the cheated, put aside judgement, and ask about the feelings that led to the deceit. Financial infidelity is a symptom. The real problem in the relationship needs acknowledgement. If we are the cheater, be honest, apologize, and stop keeping secrets. To begin, we can talk about tolerance. Can we spend $500 without asking? Can we divert $100 a week from our joint checking account to a private savings account? Our partner needs to know our motivation for having a separate account. Do we want to save up so we can spend money however we want without asking, or are we secretly saving up for a divorce? (In some states it’s illegal to hide money during a divorce, btw.) We don’t have to give our spouses access to this account, but they should know how much is in it because it’s a factor in our financial decision making. Define long term savings goals together like the children’s education, a new car, or retirement, and both commit to working toward them. When we want something that will impact those goals, it’s time for another discussion. We should revisit savings goals once a year. Maybe during tax season since it’s a logical time to talk about finances. When we get into this habit, as the years pass, it gets easier to talk to our spouses about money.

Money is a major stressor in a relationship and talking about it can quickly turn into arguing about it which makes you avoid talking about it. But keeping secrets is usually a waste of your T.E.A.M. If we don’t talk to our partners about money, we’ll never figure out how to work together to manage and maximize it.

How do you broach the subject of money in your relationship? Please share in the comments section.

Multitasking = Multidistracting

Humans were never meant to multitask; that’s a computer’s job. The word was invented in 1965 referring to an IBM computer’s capabilities. We aren’t talking about listening to a podcast while on a run here. More like texting while driving a car. Have you been forced to multitask more than usual as we shelter from home during the Coronapocolypse? Answering email while home schooling while folding laundry during a teleconference, perhaps?

What we think of as multitasking (doing multiple tasks simultaneously) in reality, is task switching (doing multiple tasks in rapid succession). If we make a habit of task switching, we lose the ability to focus. If we lose the ability to focus, we lose the ability to learn. Multitasking robs us of the ability to separate relevant information from irrelevant details. It negatively impacts short term memory; the brain’s clipboard. Also known as working memory, it’s the brain’s power to contain and shape information for a limited time. It’s the foundation for all thought processes; from memorizing your spouse’s favorite Chipotle order to learning how to code. The data suggests it takes longer to finish multiple tasks and we make more mistakes than if we pay attention to each task individually. Habitually shifting our focus is mentally exhausting and makes us 40% less productive. Eventually the attention drag will burn us out.

Distractions like email and instant messages slow us down. It’s hard to avoid the temptation of the relentless barrage of information, but we’re probably fooling ourselves if we think we’re good at multitasking; 98% of us aren’t. Best practice is to focus on one thing at a time for a certain period of time; maybe try the Pomodoro Technique and guard that time as sacred. It will be difficult, but unless someone is bleeding, on fire, or hurt, no interruptions are allowed. When we can focus, get into a flow, and accomplish something, it lowers our stress. This means saying no to everything that is not the most important thing at the time. This seems limiting given everything we need to get done, but it actually allows us to employ Parkinson’s Law and be more productive. The word “priority” means one thing. Priorities is a made up word to indicate everything is important and must get done. (If your manager insists on using the word priorities, and suggests everything needs to be done right now, it’s time tor a 1:1.) What is the one thing that must get done today? That is the priority and we must give it our full attention. It’s non-negotiable. The work day revolves around it.

We can’t eliminate all of life’s interruptions, particularly if everyone is doing everything from home. Clients will have emergencies, technology will fail, our partners, children, fur babies, neighbors, (etc.) will need our immediate attention at some point during our work day. But we need to try to concentrate on doing one thing at a time as often as possible. Our mental health depends on it.

What strategy do you use to monotask? Please share it in the comments section.

In the Beginning

COVID-19 has cost some of my friends their jobs. After getting over the hurdle of finding a new position in a pandemic, now they have to adjust to new roles. Are you in the same situation? How can you successfully transition to your new company? Time to flex those soft skills like communication, emotional intelligence, and leadership.

Communication

However you want people to think of you (professional, kind, capable, etc), project those positive qualities from your very first interaction. Ideally, an on-site meeting will be arranged to introduce you to your team as part of your on-boarding, but if social distancing makes that impossible, on your first day, mask up and go around to greet them individually. Is your team remote? Request a teleconference. Ask each member about themselves, listen more than you talk, and take notes. Pay special attention to the way they talk about the company. It will give you insight into its culture. Coworkers are unlikely to be transparent since you’re a stranger, but you could ask: How does the team resolve conflicts? How does the company recognize success? How does your manager support your professional development goals?

Emotional Intelligence

Find out how your role interacts with everyone else’s. How do you support your team in their daily responsibilities? Offering to help is a good way to build trust, but be wary of coworkers trying to foist too many of their unwanted tasks onto you. It’s okay to respectfully establish boundaries. Identify someone you can go to with questions ranging from, “What is the dress code?” to “Is Sam asking me to do a task she is actually responsible for?” Ask your most important questions. For the ones that aren’t so important, try to find the answers on your own. Look through the employee handbook, internal website, and on-boarding materials. If you can’t find answers, make a list and ask the appropriate people later. You don’t have to have all the answers now, and it will give you a reason to follow up with new colleagues. If you ask a question via email, you can prevent repeatedly asking the same one. If one of your questions regards how soon you can take time off (either paid or unpaid), best practice is to work 90 days before requesting it. Beware of office gossips. This early in your employment, they can only hurt your reputation. If you had a specific way of handling your projects at your last job, this is the time to be flexible. Until you’ve earned both the company’s and your manager’s trust, don’t demand changes.

Leadership

At a mentoring event in January 2020, Cassie Barlow, an outstanding leader in workforce development, reminded us a new role isn’t new just for the employee; it’s a transition for the whole team. She offered this great advice when starting a new job:

First day: Find yourself in the organizational chart, learn names (use mnemonic devices (e.g., Melissa has red glasses) to help you remember), be humble, have a growth mindset, be curious.

First week: Get a job description; meet colleagues and figure out how to interact with them. Who likes email? Who’d rather get a phone call? Who needs to meet?

First month: Set expectations, metrics, and milestones with your manager. Set expectations, metrics, and milestones with your direct reports.

Do you have any advice for starting a new position? Please share it in the comments section.

Remember the Future

I discovered Chronesthesia while listening to Adam Grant’s WorkLife podcast. He interviewed Astronaut Scott Kelly who used it to deal with living at the International Space Station for 340 days. Grant described how it can help us cope with both living and working at home during COVID-19. Here is the article Grant wrote about Mr Kelly. It goes into more detail than the podcast episode. Chronesthesia was first proposed by Endel Tulving in 1985. It’s the concept of mental time travel. Now that we’ve lived in this pandemic over four months, it seems like a good time to acquire this skill.

What Is It?

Chronesthesia is the theory our brains are constantly aware of the past and future simultaneously. It combines episodic memory and mental time travel. Episodic memory is linked to time and provides data from our past. Mental time travel is the ability to use past events to conceptualize future events.

How Does It Work?

Like the Red Queen in Alice in Wonderland who remembered the future, Chronesthesia involves two sets of processes. One set pertains to space: the who, what, and where of an incident. (E.g., we remember eating lunch yesterday: what we ate, where we ate it, whom we were with) The other set of processes pertains to time: the when. (E.g., did we eat lunch, yesterday, today, or tomorrow?) Chronesthesia theorizes the second set of processes is subjective. It’s mental time unmeasured by clocks or calendars. Consequently, our brains can travel in it and use it to shape our futures.

What Can Happen When We Try It?

Cons:

Worry – Chronesthesia offers plenty of opportunity to dwell on the negative. For example, looking forward to traveling to Orlando, Florida for vacation, but worrying about catching COVID-19 because it’s a hot spot.

Frustration – Our visualization may not be flexible enough. For example, a client agreed to an in-person brainstorming session. We mentally rehearse for a week prior. We see ourselves at a whiteboard using a rainbow of dry erase markers. At the last minute, the client wants to switch to a teleconference.

Overthink – Pondering what could happen denies the pleasure of living in the moment. For example, fretting over the pipeline instead of celebrating a finished project.

Pros:

Adjusting – We can learn from the past and use that knowledge to change future behavior. For example, if we know a coworker gossiped about us last week, we’ll be very careful what we say in front of him today.

Marketing – Remembering the future is great for storytelling. For example, recall how your company helped a client. List the facts, their problem, and your solution. Then, think about the result. How did it make the client feel? Tell their story in a case study. Attach the positive emotions they felt to what you can do for future clients.

Goal Setting – Chronesthesia is a natural exercise for setting goals. For example, your career isn’t going the way you want. Travel back in your memory. Was there a project/client/offer you turned down that negatively altered your career’s trajectory? Think about why you turned it down. Imagine accepting that offer instead. What would the work be like? What skills/certifications/contacts would you need to succeed? Set S.M.A.R.T. goals to get them. Envision yourself achieving those goals.

What memories can you project into the future to help you keep moving your career forward during this pandemic? Please share in the comments section.

How Much Will You Pay for Peace of Mind?

My husband and I are on that step of the parenting journey where we have to explain realities to our daughter like 401k plans, insurance, and taxes. Insurance is a really tricky one. Why pay hundreds of dollars for something you may not need? Because life happens and we have to protect ourselves from financial ruin when it does. Here are a couple of questions we’ve answered.

What Even IS Insurance?

My grandmother used to say, “An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.” Insurance is the ounce of prevention. We buy it before we need it, which is kind of backwards, right? We don’t buy dog food before we adopt a dog, but we do buy homeowners insurance before our house burns down because insurance companies won’t pay for a fire we’ve already had. It’s also weird in that insurance companies decide whether or not they want to insure us and how much they will charge us to do so. For example, when buying car insurance, if we have a crash on our record, the insurance company can charge us more than they charge someone who has never had an accident. Here is a comprehensive article about insurance.

What Kind of Insurance do I Really Need?

There are so many options. We can practically insure everything we own if we want to. Some insurance we are required to purchase. For example, it’s illegal to drive without car insurance. Some is optional; like pet insurance. So what are the essential types of insurance we should buy? It depends on our situations and who relies on our incomes. We work hard for our money and want to keep as much of it as possible. The following are common types of insurance and resources you can use to decide what’s best for your situation.

Health – Premiums, deductibles, and copays, oh my! There are so many variables associated with health insurance, there’s not enough room to go into them in this space. Here is a good article about them.

Dental – It depends on whether or not your employer provides it. Here is a good explanation.

Disability – According to the CDC, 61 million adults in America have a disability. You need long-term disability insurance. You can use your emergency fund for short term (lasting 3-6 months) disabilities, but here is a resource to help you decide.

Life – Should you choose term or whole life? Depends on what you want the insurance to pay for after you’re gone. Here is a good explanation.

Pet – We opt to use our emergency fund or credit card instead, but here is a resource for you.

Homeowners or Renters – Covers property damage (e.g., you get robbed) and liability (e.g., someone gets hurt on your property). Here is a resource for homeowners, and here is one for renters.

Flood – In most cases, yes. Neither homeowners nor renters insurance cover flooding. Here is an article about it.

Auto – It’s the law. Here is an article to help you decide what type is best for you.

Umbrella – Are you at risk of getting sued? Then yes. More details here.

Long-term Care – Probably not. Here is an explanation.

Identity Theft – Probably not. Here is why.

Have you had a circumstance where you were really glad you were insured? Please share about it in the comments section.