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Teamwork Makes the Dream Playlist Work

After so many times asking each other, “Have you heard this song?” my best friend, Kelly, suggested we start a playlist in Spotify to keep track of them. Because we’re both rule followers and goal oriented, we had a couple of guidelines. The originals were: Listen without distraction (no driving, working, social media, etc. on first listen), preferably through headphones, and post at the same time every week. We inadvertently stumbled onto something deeper than trading songs. In this new world of COVID-19, people are turning to music and using it almost as a healing balm to our psyches.

Our original intent was to have fun in sampling each other’s taste in music, but after being at it for over a year, it’s evolved into a means of communication. We use it for commemoration and encouragement. We acquire a clearer understanding of each other’s worldview because our song choices reveal our personalities. The anticipation of new music (I’ve heard artists I never would’ve known otherwise), and trying to guess what the other is going to add, makes it a game. An unexpected side effect of building our playlist is how it’s affected my job.

Teamwork

Team members have to know what the goal is. I asked Kelly what she thought the goal of building our playlist was. She said, “…to share ideas, thoughts, and feelings that we may have had during the week through music. Doing this often generates conversations we may not have had otherwise, and can get us thinking about various things in ways we might not have before.” A team works toward the goal together, but we come at it from different perspectives. Building our playlist helps me be open to my team’s opinions on how to reach our goals.

Perseverance

I keep my ears open throughout the week and seek unusual sources for songs to surprise her. At work, this translates into pushing me to seek new and unusual ways to help my company grow.

Communication

We often ask each other why we chose that song this week, usually via text. We have to corral our thoughts and boil them down to those most important and present them briefly. I find myself editing my work emails down to short active sentences; a hallmark of good communication.

Deadlines

Sundays come with excruciating regularity. So do work deadlines. Our playlist helps me remember not to wait until the last minute to research my share of the project.

Relax

Our playlist reminds me to take a break from working. It’s something fun to look forward to instead of thinking about COVID-19 all the time.

One of the reasons humans love music so much is because it helps us express our feelings. Why try to put them into words when a musician has already done it so eloquently? Sometimes there aren’t adequate words to express our feelings. We need a crunchy guitar (or maybe a plaintive violin) solo to do it for us. Let’s think about adding music to our self-care routines. We can intentionally build a playlist for lifting our spirits. If we need some ideas, we can ask a friend to build one with us.

Do you have a song that makes you happy every time you hear it? Please share title and artist in the comments section.

Does Anybody Really Know What Time It Is?

Sheltering at home has made me lose all track of time. COVID-19 didn’t take my job, so working from home means I’m always at work. I stress over emails. Do I ignore them outside regular office hours? Do I answer them because I’m bored? If I reply, does that set a precedent to answer email 24/7 when this is over? Where are my boundaries? I’m struggling with distraction, overthinking, and TMI. Do you feel the same? Here are some things we can do to exercise a bit of control over our time.

The Obvious

We know what we should do, let’s just do it. Make a new routine. Get dressed. (Slippers? Yes. Day time pajamas? No.) Eat healthy. Move our bodies. Start work at the same time every day. Connect with our teams. (And not just about work; how are they coping emotionally?) Take breaks (suggestions: listen to a podcast, walk the dog, study with the kids). Quit at the same time every day. Don’t work seven days a week.

Encourage

Until in-person networking events resume, we can spend more time on LinkedIn. Let’s wish someone a happy birthday, like an article a connection posted, thank those in healthcare, grocery, and other essential critical infrastructure for their hard work. I’m concentrating on both cheer leading for my connections and amplifying those looking for work.

Practice the Tech

We have to learn how to teleconference, decipher how our kids’ elearning platform works, figure out how much bandwidth we need, and which entertainment streaming services to use. It’s okay to take our time experimenting with features and figuring out what works best. Let’s not beat ourselves up for not being immediate experts on the new technologies all coming at us at once.

Communicate

Everyone who lives in our residences are home ALL. THE. TIME. And everyone is confused. Let’s ask for help. Can we stagger online meetings? Can we claim our own private work/school space? Can we respect a do-not-disturb note on the door when we need to work uninterrupted? Can we tag team supervising online learning? When our spouse has a virtual meeting, can we take the kids outside for recess?

Be Kind

There’s plenty of opportunity right now. We can check on our parents. Ask our neighbor if she needs something from the store before we head out. Video chat with our bestie. Stick a piece of paper on the refrigerator and ask everyone in our home to write one thing they’re grateful for on it everyday. Investigate ways our company can volunteer (e.g., help the local food bank or give blood). Hug the people we live with and stay six feet away from everyone else.

With our normal structure blown up, I think we feel pressured to be productive so we can prove our worth. But I think the source of that pressure may be ourselves. Our employers ask us to use our time wisely and that’s a big enough goal during this pandemic.

What are you doing to take control of your time during isolation? Please share in the comments section.

Christmas Time is Here

The end of the year brings extra work at our companies: performance reviews, customer appreciations, year end financial closes, etc. Unfortunately these tasks happen at the same time we want to celebrate the holidays. How can we make the most of our time off work?

Unplug

This isn’t practical if we’re on call (doctors, firefighters, retailers, developers, you get the picture), but if we’re not, let’s avoid checking email the entire time we’re off. If we simply can’t bear the thought (guilty), limit it. How do we recognize our limit? If we’re constantly wondering whether or not that elusive client has replied yet, then for peace of mind, check. Consider checking email or noodling on projects at a set time every day (e.g., when you get up in the morning over coffee); only work at that time and for a certain amount of time (thirty to sixty minutes, maybe). I realized it was time to do this when my mom told me to stop checking my work email during our Thanksgiving meal prep.

Volunteer

We can go with a group or on our own. We can greet at our church’s Christmas Eve services or bag at our local food pantries. Giving our family and/or friends our full attention while serving our communities creates bonds that strengthens both our relationships and our mental health. Besides, we never know whom we might be serving alongside. Plenty of people meet potential employers while volunteering.

Relax

Holiday commitments often mean doing things we don’t want to (travel, making small talk with distant relatives, etc.). Let’s set aside a day, or at least a few hours, before January 2, to do something we want to do. Need some suggestions? If you’re an introvert, curl up with a book and hot cocoa or get that massage you desperately need but keep putting off. If you’re an extrovert, meet up with some friends for last-minute shopping, brunch, or a spa day.

Sleep

Time off is an opportunity to start a healthy routine of going to bed and getting up at the same time every day. If we’re visiting family or friends who want us to stay with them, but we have to crash on the couch, consider getting a hotel room. To me, having a place to retreat to rest is worth the cost.

Make Memories

Part of the fun of the holidays is remembering them for years afterward. Let’s create and participate in activities we can reminisce over. They don’t have to be expensive: make gingerbread cookies, embark on a selfie scavenger hunt, hold a board game tournament. Any activity that’s out of the ordinary (and maybe out of our comfort zones) will help us make memories to fondly recall in the years to come.

No matter how we choose to spend our time off, let’s commit to being present, eliminating as many distractions as possible, leaving our phones and laptops in another room, pushing some social engagements into January, and making time to focus on nurturing relationships and recharging ourselves.

Please share in the comments section how you intend to spend time away from work this holiday.

Tidings of Comfort and Joy

And just like that…it’s December. Welcome to the end of the year! As we push to make our quotas, thank our customers for their business, and prepare for holiday celebrations, let’s schedule time in our calendars for play. You read me. I wrote p-l-a-y. There are plenty of opportunities this month for frivolity and we should take advantage of them for a very practical reason. Play helps us work.

Lynn Barnett, a professor of recreation, sports and tourism at the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign says, “At work, play has been found to speed up learning, enhance productivity and increase job satisfaction.” In this article, she also says, “Highly playful adults feel the same stressors as anyone else, but they appear to experience and react to them differently, allowing stressors to roll off more easily than those who are less playful.” In his book, Play: How it Shapes the Brain, Opens the Imagination, and Invigorates the Soul, Dr. Stuart Brown says, “Respecting our biologically programmed need for play can transform work. It can bring back excitement and newness to our job…work does not work without play.”

For example, when we concentrate on figuring out a problem, our minds can get stuck in an endless loop going over the same details. If we take a break and focus on something else, we get new data to process. Although it’s counterintuitive; the more stress we’re under, the more we need play in order to function. When we get up from our desks and move around, blood flow to our brains increases and we think better. If we walk to the break room and enter a conversation, we foster teamwork. These activities refresh our energy and can prevent burnout by letting our brains reboot and receive input that has nothing to do with our problem. We naturally apply this new data to our challenge. We start to think creatively. We stop thinking about how we’ve solved problems in the past. We stop worrying about the consequences for a minute and imagine what would happen if anything goes. This permits us to relax and look at it from another angle. The situation looks totally different if we’re standing on our heads instead of our feet. When we see something differently and present it in a new light, that’s innovation and it might just trigger a solution. Gymnastics anyone?

For play to have a positive effect on our work we should do it everyday, so we need to schedule it and give it priority. Play is an activity that has no purpose and is considered non-productive. We can do it alone or with others. Here are some examples of play that don’t necessarily cost money:

Read a book
Pet your pet
Watch your favorite artist’s concert footage on YouTube
Drive around looking at neighborhood Christmas lights
Toss a football
Crossword puzzles
Board games

George Bernard Shaw said, “We don’t stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing.” This holiday season when kids are defined as from one to ninety-two, let’s make time to play.

Please share how you’re going to incorporate play into your seasonal celebration in the comments section.

Balancing Act

During a conference I attended last week, we did a networking exercise similar to the Reciprocity Ring Adam Grant uses in his classes at Wharton. Most of us requested referrals, but one woman asked for tips on work-life balance. I admired her courage. We usually act like we either have it all together or wear burnout like a badge of honor. I promised to do some research. Here’s what I found.

Contributing Factors to Work-life Imbalance:

1. Household Chores

Women do more household chores than men no matter what their age, income level, workforce responsibilities, or if there are children to parent. If you’re tired of carrying the bulk of the homework, talk to your partner about traditional gender roles and work out a fair division of labor.

2. Working Remotely

If you don’t have to be on-site to do your job, working from home allows flexibility but also usually means working longer and odd hours and sets the expectation from your boss that it’s acceptable. American wages are about the same today as they were 40 years ago. Technology has produced knowledge workers, but businesses have yet to figure out how to measure their productivity. We’re still measuring it by hours on time sheets and presence in the office. So if you work remotely, you feel you have to be connected 24/7 to demonstrate productivity.

3. Your Mate’s Schedule

Women partnered to men who work long hours (50 or more per week) have significantly higher perceived stress and significantly lower work-life balance than women partnered to men who work a normal full-time week (35–49 hours).

Possible Solutions:

1. Flip the Script

Stop thinking of work as negative and home as positive. There’s nothing wrong with loving your job. It’s just that too much of a good thing still causes burnout. Alternate work schedules are becoming more common. Can you choose a schedule that allows you to balance home and work? You have to set and protect boundaries, but you would control them.

2. Embrace the Imbalance

Using time-saving hacks aren’t working any more. Imbalance is a challenge for a household where both people have jobs and no one has the exclusive responsibility to manage the home. Give each other some grace. Communicate when you have an impending work deadline signaling that your chores at home will have to wait. On the other hand, let your colleague know you will answer his email after you get home from your daughter’s basketball game.

3. Leadership

If the organization’s leaders don’t practice work-life balance, e.g., emailing at 9:00PM, calling into meetings from vacation, etc., then employees will follow suit because it shows dedication and may lead to promotion. Managers should model the behavior the company wants cultivated. Supervisors should take a lunch hour, go on vacation, and leave the office for the day at a reasonable hour. Then they should talk openly about doing all those things with their teams and encourage them to do the same.

How do you balance work with your personal life? Please share your story in the comments section below.

Summer Slump?

Summer weekends bring more daylight hours, lots of community activities, and plenty of opportunities to get outside and forget about work. It almost feels like a mini-vacation. Then Monday comes. My inbox overflows because something happened on Saturday. A project halts because a coworker is on vacation. Interruptions prevent me from completing anything. Mondays seem more difficult during the summer. Here are some things I do to make them easier.

Saturday: I sleep in thirty minutes later than during the week signaling my body the routine is different today. During the week, I allow stuff to pile up: laundry, bills, personal email, etc., so I tackle the low hanging fruit early in the day. Saturday is the day to grocery shop, clean bathrooms, change bed linens, and food prep. This leaves the rest of the day to relax. Unless a work emergency happens, I don’t think about the office and I don’t check my email.

Sunday: Again, I sleep in thirty minutes later than normal and get stuff done early. I like to do something meaningful like take a walk with my husband to watch the sun rise, watch our church’s service, write a LinkedIn article, or read. I also try to connect with other people by FaceTiming our daughter, texting my parents, or having coffee with a friend. (Some other suggestions: volunteer, ride bikes with nieces/nephews, brunch with friends.) Then, I get a head start on the week. Around 6:30pm I glance at my calendar for the upcoming week and check my work email in case something’s come up affecting one of Monday’s meetings. I don’t reply unless it’s an emergency. The only thing I may do is send myself a reminder note regarding what’s coming up this week and what I need to do to prepare for it. After that, I set out clothes for the next day so I have one less thing to think about on Monday morning. These minor actions eliminate the Sunday Scaries so I can enjoy my last evening before work.

Monday: I get out of bed at my normal work-week time and try to ease re-entry. I get to the office about ninety minutes before my first meeting of the day to set up my work space, get coffee and water, take action on any reminder emails I sent myself yesterday, and check my notes from Friday. As the day progresses, I take short breaks to increase my productivity. During these breaks, I may reward myself by checking social media, but just one platform so I don’t fall down that rabbit hole and lose track of time. I also try to change my scenery. If it’s nice outside, I can walk around the building. Thirty minutes before before the end of the day, I take stock and make to-do lists for tomorrow so that summer Monday feeling doesn’t bleed into Tuesday.

Do summer Mondays seem harder to you too? Please share what you do to combat the summer slump in the comments section.

Get Some Rest

March feels never ending. It’s 31 days long, we lose an hour thanks to daylight savings time, and there are no holidays to close the office; unless your boss is a BIG March Madness or St. Patrick’s Day fan. March ends Q1, so you might work overtime to reach goal. March means the end of the school year is close, so you may be prepping for graduation or researching summer break childcare options for your little ones. Being busy all the time used to be glamorous, but now we’ve reached the tipping point and exhaustion is not a good look for us. Here’s a novel idea: Get some rest.

Pursue It – Rest doesn’t just happen. We have to go after it. Consider hiring a service to clean your house so after a particularly challenging work week you can spend Saturday morning watching the TV instead of dusting it. Take advantage of your grocery’s at-home delivery occasionally. Hire a sitter for a few hours. These aren’t luxuries. They’re emotionally intelligent ways to manage stress.

Schedule It – Rest allows our minds, bodies, and spirits to refresh, recharge, and repair. We need it at regular intervals and on a perpetual basis. Don’t cancel, postpone, or feel guilty about choosing it over chores or going out. When “My weekend is all booked” memes appear on my social media feeds, I’m reminded to put reading for pleasure on my calendar. Maybe your version of rest is a solo activity like a Sunday morning run. Or maybe it’s a group activity like brunch with squad. Either way, calendar your commitment and keep it.

Respect It – It’s not weak to need to rest; it’s human. Don’t be ashamed to recognize you need it. Prioritizing rest boosts both our creativity and productivity. I get up from my desk about once an hour to stretch, look out my office window to refocus my eyes, and hydrate. My brain solves problems faster when my attention is focused on something other than the problem.

Often, we don’t know how badly we need rest until after we get it. When we feel a little wonky we assume it’s a virus coming on or just the 3:00PM let down so we grab another cup of coffee and keep pushing. For example: For fourteen months I worked a full-time day job and a part-time side gig logging about sixty hours a week. I felt fine. I even had a theme song: “Non-Stop” from Hamilton. My full-time work didn’t suffer so it wasn’t until a couple of months after I left my side gig when I realized how different I felt. I thought clearer. I didn’t need as much caffeine to function. I felt in the moment as opposed to watching myself from outside my body. That’s how I knew I had to give up my side gig, btw. So before you start having out of body experiences too, get some rest!

How do you know it’s time to take a break? Please share in the comments section below.

Self-Care is a Thing

I recently discovered self-care is actually a thing. I’ve always equated it to “Treat Yo Self”, but I was wrong. It’s an entire sub-industry of wellness and mental health rooted in medicine. (Here is an interesting article on its origins.) Innumerable products can be marketed for self-care: Frappuccino? Sure. Designer handbag? Absolutely. New car? You deserve it! It’s easy to quickly spiral out of control. In theory, self-care is simple (though not necessarily easy): It’s making time to relax and do something you enjoy. But, it’s faster to buy yourself something than to carve out time in your schedule for a bubble bath. You need down time. It helps your brain make new connections between existing ideas, prevents burn out, and keeps you from stress-eating Snickers. We should take care of ourselves, but it becomes a task and that list is already too long. Attempting to decrease our stress increases it instead. Isn’t that counterproductive (and ironic)? Here are five low maintenance self-care ideas. Choose a couple that don’t stress you out.

Rest – Get ruthless with your schedule and prioritize sleep. Do you need to cut back on after-work girls’ nights? Can your partner take the kids to volleyball practice this week? Do you have to attend that Pampered Chef party? When I feel like I’m not following the Golden Rule, I put myself in time-out. I come home from work, put on my jammies, and take an evening to snuggle the dog and watch Jeopardy until I can fall asleep. If that’s 8:00pm, so be it. I ban caffeine, sugar, and social media. The next morning, I’m ready to roll out of bed and get back to the hustle.

Be Good to Yourself – or nobody else will (Shoutout to Journey). What clears your mind? Music? Exercise? Reading? Make wise choices regarding what you allow in your mind as well as your body. Be aware of what you think about yourself and how you talk to yourself. Carefully evaluate negative comments about you and discard opinions that are invalid. Choose what to believe and build yourself up. Don’t let the haters live rent free in your head.

Tune Out – I’m guilty of checking work email on weekends because I lie to myself: “I need to know if Joe Sixpack replied to the message I sent him on Friday.” No, I don’t. So, unless the sky will fall if I don’t check my work inbox, I’m not, and don’t you do it either. Sometimes I set my phone’s timer for fifteen minutes and journal, close my eyes and box breathe, or surf Pinterest for new chicken recipes. Whatever reboots your brain is how you need to spend your T.E.A.M.

Spend Money – I give myself a weekly allowance and save it. When I find something I want, I spend that money and feel zero guilt. Put a few dollars aside to invest in yourself. Go buy a new nail color, get a new workout outfit, or visit your hair stylist. The indulgence doesn’t have to be solitary. Take a friend out for coffee or take your mom to brunch.

Or Not – Self-care doesn’t have to cost money. Walk the dog. Take a nap. Get a book from the library. Watch a concert on YouTube. Sleep in an extra half hour on your day off. Take a vacation day from work. Stay in bed and watch movies. Go for a bike ride. Self-care is about time. It’s about taking a break to rest, recharge, and rejuvenate. Isn’t it about time you took a break? Please share how you manage self-care in the comments section below.

(White) Christmas Break

Everyone needs a break from work now and then, so this week let’s talk about our favorite Christmas movies. My favorite is “Elf”, but a very close second is White Christmas. Every December I think, “This is the year I’ll get tired of watching White Christmas.” And every year – “Nah.” In fact, sometimes I watch it in July too. Why is it so appealing? It’s a long movie by today’s standards clocking in at two hours and twenty minutes, and it doesn’t have any special effects to keep your attention. Although, it was the first film shot in VistaVision and when you throw in Technicolor and Edith Head’s costume design, it produces some special effects (vivid colors, sweeping scenery for the dance numbers, etc.). I realize I’m not the only one in love with this movie. Back in 1954 when it was released, it was one of the top earning films that year grossing $12 million which was a haul back then. It came in as the second highest grossing movie that year (Citizen Cane came in first). Why do we love it so much?

Is it the characters? The main characters are easy to identify with and every year I feel like a different one. Bob Wallace: Who hasn’t owed someone a favor and keeps repaying it over and over again? Phil Davis: Who doesn’t want their ideas and hard work to succeed? Betty Haynes: Who hasn’t felt responsible for another person’s happiness? Judy Haynes: Who hasn’t wanted to get out from under someone else’s authority?

Is it the music? Two words: Irving Berlin. Last year, a local independent movie theater in the town where I live hosted a sing along version of the movie the second weekend in December. If you ever get a chance to go to one of these, do it. That black dress Rosemary Clooney wore for the Carousel Club scene makes me want to dress up and go to the theater a la Rocky Horror. Grab a baby blue ostrich fan and join me! Singing “Snow” with a theater full of people (it didn’t matter that none of us could win “The Voice”) was practically a religious experience.

Is it the chemistry? The actors seem to genuinely like each other and are having a blast. Did you know the scene where Wallace and Davis “dress up like dames” and lip sync the Haynes sisters’ famous “Sisters” number was not in the original script? Bing Crosby and Danny Kaye were just messing around and the director (Michael Curtiz) thought it was so funny that he wrote it into the script.

Is it the story? It’s a simple one, really; with elements like patriotism, friendship, and kindness. Wallace and Davis argue, but they don’t leave the argument unsettled. The Haynes sisters make up quickly after Judy’s deception of a fake engagement to Phil. Both my grandfathers fought in WWII and one was a POW for 11 months, so the General Waverly storyline gets me right in the feels every time. Especially when his granddaughter, Susan, sees him coming down the stairs to go to the show in his dress uniform.

During this busy holiday season, watching a Christmas movie is a great way to practice self care. So take a well deserved break, then tell me about your favorite here: