Communication – Page 11 – mardihumphreys.com

All Fired Up

Welcome to part three of four in the It’s so Quiet series. We’ve already talked about Quiet Promotion and Quiet Quitting. This week let’s look at Quiet Firing.

What Is It?

Quiet Firing happens when management slowly takes away your responsibilities and freedom over time. For example, you have not received a pay raise for years and/or you are turned down for promotions multiple times. You may be getting quietly fired if:

You receive a “Does not meet expectations” evaluation of your job performance at least three times
Coworkers with your same job title receive perks (e.g., WFH days) that you are denied
Everyone in your department receives an equipment upgrade (e.g., mobile phone, laptop, etc.) except you
You are intentionally and repeatedly left out of email threads that are crucial to your duties
You asked for feedback from your manager multiple times and they refuse to give it to you
You signed up for the company’s leadership development program more than twice and are still not accepted

What Can You Do?

Quiet Firing may like feel like gaslighting because the treatment is typically subtle. It is management’s passive-aggressive strategy to encourage you to resign. It makes you ask yourself, “Did what just happen mean what I think it means?” In a LinkedIn News poll, 35% of respondents said they faced Quiet Firing. How can you decide if it is happening to you?

Document: Open up your Atta Baby! files from the last three years. (DM me for a definition of the term.) Use them to create a What’s Up With That? file. For each item in the Atta Baby! files, note what your manager’s reaction was to it. For example, if you saved the company $18K in 2021 by catching a typo in an invoice and still received a “Does not meet expectations” in your annual performance review that year, make a note of that.

Communicate: If your research indicates that you may be getting quietly fired, then it’s time for a 1:1 with your manager. Respectfully share what you found, how you interpret it, and ask if your impression is correct. If your manager gives you specific feedback for areas where you can improve your job performance, then you are probably not being quietly fired. If your manager’s reaction is neutral or dismissive, then it’s time to strategize.

Strategize: Should you stay or should you go? If you want (or need) to stay at your organization, then ask your manager for a PIP (Performance Improvement Plan). I realize this could be a humbling experience, but watch your manager’s reaction. It will be very revealing. If they are impressed and excited that you took this initiative, then there is hope that you are not being quietly fired. If they reject your request for a PIP, then it’s time to find other employment.

Have you ever been quietly fired? Please share what signs to look for in the comments.

Hush Money

Last week in part one of the It’s so Quiet series, we talked about Quiet Promotion. This week let’s look at the Quiet Quitting trend, particularly focusing on how it may impact your income. Can you afford to quiet quit? Can you afford not to?

What Is It?

Quiet Quitting is meeting the minimum expectations of your job requirements and feeling psychologically detached from your work. If you avoid leading a team of your coworkers or you refuse to work overtime, you may be a Quiet Quitter.

What Can You Do?

Job descriptions are living documents. They expand and contract with both the company’s needs and the employee’s abilities. Level setting expectations on a regular basis is vital to shaping both your work and your engagement. Here are three things you can do:

Document: Make a list of duties you were asked to do that are outside of your job description. Are they housekeeping tasks? For example, taking notes in every team meeting, typing them up, and distributing them. Or, are they responsibilities that will make you visible to leadership? For example, presenting your department’s Q4 statistics in the partner meeting. If they are housekeeping, then no wonder you’re discouraged. But if they are responsibilities that put you in front of the people who can further your career, then rethink what may be going on behind the scenes.

Communicate: Whatever your documentation reveals, it’s time for a 1:1 with your manager. Present your list. Politely state you’ve noticed an uptick in duties. Ask if these assignments are intentional. If so, and they are housekeeping, is it because of your status in the company? (E.g., You are a junior member of the team.) If the assignments are more high-profile, are you being set up for promotion?

Strategize: After documenting and discussing, think about where you want to go from here. If the assignments you received position you to advance, then the extra work benefits you in the long run. However, the rise and grind culture leads to burnout. If you are expected to go above and beyond your job description with no end and no reward in sight, then do you really want to stay at your organization? Particularly if you work in Big Tech. Seventy-nine percent of the workers laid off last year had another job within three months. Things to consider when making your decision:

Do you have an emergency fund with $1200 in it?
Do you also have six months worth of expenses saved?
How will the coming recession impact your portfolio, mortgage, and/or loans?
Do you have a side gig that you can ramp up to second-job status?
Do you have an alternative for healthcare coverage? (E.g., through your spouse’s employer)
Does your current employer offer benefits (e.g., working remote and/or flexibility) that compensate for the extra duties?

You could also keep quietly quitting, but that can lead to Quiet Firing; more on that next week.

Have you ever quietly quit a job? Please share in the comments.

The Rise of the Quiets

COVID spotlighted the Greats: the Great Retirement, the Great Resignation, the Great Reshuffle, the Great Rethink, etc. Now, the transition to post pandemic is highlighting the Quiets: Quiet Promotion, Quiet Quitting, Quiet Promoting, Quiet Thriving, etc. Just like the Greats were in play with or without COVID, the Quiets are not new. It’s just that now employees feel empowered to discuss them openly and employers are pushing back. We’re going to devote the next four weeks to exploring the rise of the Quiets. First up: Quiet Promotion.

What Is It?

A Quiet Promotion happens when you are given more tasks and/or responsibilities beyond your job description, but no increase in compensation. It can be tricky to spot because going above and beyond your job description is the traditional path to a genuine promotion. You typically have to prove you can do more before you are given more (especially if you identify as a woman; don’t get me started…). Here are a few clues that you were quietly promoted:

You have the same job title as your colleagues, but you have more work than they do
You have absorbed all the duties of a coworker who left and there is no end in sight
Your manager asked you to be a “team player” and you don’t feel like you can refuse

If these sound familiar, you have a couple of options. One is to ask for a real promotion. The other is to get another job. Either way, these three ideas can help.

Document

Update that “Atta Baby!” file on your desktop (DM me if the concept does not sound familiar)
Keep a daily activity log including what you did (especially the extra duties), when, and approximately how long it took
Note (with statistics, if possible) how what you do (especially the extra duties) moves the organization closer to their goals and aligns with their mission

Communicate

After gathering your documentation, schedule a 1:1 with your manager
Prepare for it as you would a performance review
Begin the conversation with a curious mindset. For example, lead with something like: “During several weekly reflection exercises that I do to self-monitor my job performance, I noticed something interesting…” and present your case
Note your manager’s reaction. It will be very revealing

Strategize

If your employer just lost a major client, or your company is in a hiring freeze, then no one is getting promoted. If you can be patient, do. It allows you to accumulate more documentation and contemplate whether this job and/or company is still the right fit for you. If you can’t be patient, the documentation you gathered sure looks good on a resume.

By the way, the phrase “other duties as assigned” is included in most job descriptions. That can be a good thing. You want your job description to iterate. It allows you to grow and advance. The problem comes when an organization uses the phrase as a loophole to assign an employee responsibilities beyond minor tasks related to the employee’s position.

Have you ever received a Quiet Promotion? Please share your experience in the comments.

Something’s Burning

Last month we talked about burnout and how, as employees, we can both recognize and minimize it. On the other side of the organization, what can employers do to help extinguish burnout?

Why is Burnout the Employer’s Problem?

Because employees who burn out quit their jobs and replacing them is expensive. In their 2020 Recruiter Nation Survey, Jobvite found that retention is the second highest recruiting priority according to the HR professionals who participated. And according to Legaljobs, 45% of employees in the United States are job hunting. Turnover can cost an employer up to one-third of an employee’s annual salary due to lost productivity as well as recruiting efforts.

What Can Employers Do About It?

Set Reasonable Boundaries – For example, if you send emails at 7:46PM on weeknights, texts at 9:12PM on Saturdays, and/or direct messages at 6:12AM on Independence Day, then you are assigning someone a task. A valuable employee is at least going to stop what they are doing and reply no matter how many times you type, “No rush.” Even if you don’t expect the employee to do anything about your request at the time, you are still imposing a mental load on them. Now they have to remember to remind you of the thing you wanted them to do when you contacted them outside of normal work hours. Establish rules around communication. Include acceptable hours, expected response times, and appropriate modes. For example, if there is an emergency requiring their attention outside of normal work hours, then you will call them instead of email or text. Reiterate these boundaries once a quarter. BTW, most email platforms have a feature that allows you to send your message during someone’s normal business hours. Please use it.

Reevaluate Productivity Goals – Are pre-COVID KPIs still in place? Should they be? How reasonable are they? The workforce is moving toward a productivity model where job performance can no longer be measured by when, where, or how many hours employees work. Consider normalizing flexibility. For example, in performance reviews commend the employee for taking their earned PTO instead of praising them for perfect attendance. Best Practice: Leadership models taking time off, flexible work environments, and/or remote work days.

Communicate – Listen with empathy to your team on a regular basis. Can you set up in-person office hours or a virtual coffee once a week to bond with your team? Find common ground. Support and encourage self-care and mental health. Record a 30 second video on your company’s instant messaging platform and send it (during normal hours, please!) to your direct reports. Remind them that the intense project they’re working on will get done more efficiently if they rest their brains for a few minutes every hour. In 1:1 meetings, invite employees to discuss challenges outside of the job that are negatively affecting their ability to work. Is the solution something the company can provide as part of their benefits package?

As we approach the holidays, I hope both employers and employees get some rest from their work. Maybe in front of a roaring fire in your fireplace or, like me, a fireplace online. Please let those embers be the only burnout you allow.

As a manager, what strategies do you use to ease employee burnout? Please share in the comments.

Did I Do That?

Last month I mentioned Atomic Habits by James Clear. This book rocked my goal-setting world from Chapter One when he stated, “You do not rise to the level of your goals. You fall to the level of your systems.” Clear says, “The Four Laws of Behavior Change are a simple set of rules we can use to build better habits. They are (1) Make it obvious, (2) Make it attractive, (3) Make it easy, and (4) Make it satisfying.” How might we apply this strategy at work?

Let’s say it was brought to your attention in a performance review that 360° feedback revealed people find your behavior at in-person meetings intense. What you think of as enthusiasm, a number of coworkers perceive as, at best, overwhelming and at worst, scary. Your manager wants to promote you to Team Leader, but if you intimidate people, then you cannot effectively influence them. The feedback mentioned that you:

Consistently arrive just in time for meetings to start and jump right into the agenda
Always sit at the head of the rectangular conference room table
Rarely look up from your note taking and when you do, you’re frowning

Acknowledging these are habits you to need change, you decide to use Clear’s four laws to come up with the following plan for improvement.

Make it Obvious – Before your next internal meeting, email the participants a short note stating you are making a couple of adjustments to your processes. You hope they will make meetings more effective for all attendees and you will privately seek feedback.

Make it Attractive – To you: Approach this exercise as a learning experience that will give you examples you can report to your manager, and witnesses they can consult, to prove you have what it takes to lead a team. To them: People are typically happy to give advice. Tell your coworkers that you respect their opinions and your intention is to make their work lives easier.

Make it Easy – Create more margin in your schedule so that you can show up ten minutes early to the next meeting. Use that time to greet each coworker and exchange pleasantries. Meet in a new location with a round table. If you have to meet in the same location, then sit on the side of the rectangle among the other attendees instead of the power position at the head of the table. For note taking you could audio record the meeting on your phone. This allows you to transcribe your notes later, maintain eye contact during the meeting, and ask follow up questions. Or, you could request that someone take notes for the group and email them to everyone after the meeting. State that in future meetings everyone will take a turn performing this task.

Make it Satisfying – For you: Reward yourself for trying new things and make notes of any improvements for your next 1:1 with your manager. For them: Send a thank-you email to the meeting attendees for participating in your experiment. Ask them follow-up questions like, What did they like/dislike about the changes? What other adjustments do they suggest?

How could you apply the four laws of behavior change to a current habit you need to break or start? Please share in the comments.

Military Schooled

Veteran’s Day is this week in the United States. Thank you, veterans and your families for your service. Is motivating troops at all similar to motivating the workforce?

Similarities

Both military and civilian organizations take people with nothing in common, put them on teams, and require them to execute complicated projects
The military rewards personal sacrifice, shared sacrifice, and accomplishments through a system of challenges and rewards. Some companies offer overtime pay, team recognition on their social media, and pay submission fees for industry awards
The military asks you to put your country and its larger cause ahead of your own interests and safety. Essential Workers are asked to do the same
Goals for both the military and the workforce are: increase production, efficiency, and desired results
Motivation is also the same because humans populate both groups and everyone wants the same things: job satisfaction, achievement, recognition, and professional growth

Differences

From the beginning of military service, the focus is leadership. There are formal training programs in all branches of the military (e.g., military academy, ROTC, Officer Training School) and leadership training continues throughout your career. Does your organization offer career development? Do they reimburse you for continuing education?
The military hold ceremonies for changes in command. These formally acknowledge that change is happening and make the environment less disruptive. When was the last time you got to meet your new department head before they were hired?
The military physically train together. Does your company have a softball team? Axe throwing league? Charity walk/run?
The military has great expectations and expects the troops to rise to meet them. As James Clear says in his book, Atomic Habits, “You do not rise to the level of your goals. You fall to the level of your systems.” The military’s systems are designed to use positive peer pressure and incentives to build self-motivating troops. Does your company have a mission statement? Can you quote it?

Learnings

A 1994 study revealed motivation predicts success better than intelligence, ability, or salary. The military uses motivation techniques that can apply to the workforce. Rewards, (e.g. salary) only work as long as they are perceived as rewards. When the reward goes away, so does the motivation. Pay your workforce enough to live on, give them tools to become Subject Matter Experts, and agency to give their jobs their best efforts
The military is motivated to protect their country. Patriotism is a feeling. What feeling can you encourage in your employees? Loyalty? Service? Sustainability? Legacy?
The military emphasizes and rewards incremental progress. (e.g., moving up in the ranks). Giving your employees a several-step career path, defining the parameters to reach each step, then rewarding them with the next step when they reach those parameters, can help you retain them. A 1998 study determined people found life 22 percent more satisfying when they accomplished a steady stream of small goals rather than a few large goals
Sticking together is ingrained in military culture. It drives everyone to achieve a higher purpose. How do you bond your team? What contribution does your company make to society? Employees want to know they are working together to accomplish something that serves the greater good

What other ways do you think the workforce can learn from the military? Please share in the comments.

Over and Over and Over Again

Everyone likes to contemplate their navels on occasion. It becomes a problem when minutes turn into hours and you have nothing but belly-button lint to show for it. We have plenty of things to worry about, so let’s limit this conversation to the workplace. What is the difference between overthinking, worrying, and ruminating?

Overthinking

Overthinking is repeatedly examining a current stressful situation. For example, you’re working on a series of deliverables for your manager. He calls you into his office and asks you to explain why you are spending so much time on those projects instead of these other urgent tasks. You’re stunned and the conversation goes badly. Now you can’t get any work done because that interaction is all you can think about. “How did that happen? How did I get this far off target? Now what?” At your first opportunity, take a break and find a quiet place. Write down your thoughts. Then develop questions to ask your manager at your next meeting. If you do not regularly have 1:1 meetings, now is the time to request them. Phrase your questions in non-confrontational language. For example, “I’d like to send you an email first thing every Monday morning to find out what the top three projects are that you’d like me to work on for the week. Is that okay?” Taking action will help you stop overthinking.

Worrying

Worry is pondering threats to your future. This can be useful, but until you can actually predict the future, it will quickly drive you crazy. Taking the above example a step further, let’s say that the follow-up 1:1 with your manager can’t happen for a week. This gives you way too much time to think about how this second conversation could go even more sideways than the first. Instead of thinking about the worst that can happen, visualize the best that can happen. Conflict is inevitable in every relationship. You can only control the part you play in it. See yourself brainstorming with your manager. What ways to resolve the problem are you presenting? Relationships can be strengthened by working through conflict together. At the very least, your emotional intelligence will get a workout.

Ruminating

Ruminating is brooding over the past. Taking the above example even further, let’s say that you choose not to visualize the best that can happen at the next meeting with your manager. Instead, you get stuck replaying the original conversation in your mind. You’re dwelling on something you cannot change. Every time you think about that conversation, you feel the negative emotions that you felt then. When you fall short of someone’s expectations, it’s wise to review what led to the negative result because it can help you develop triggers to prevent it from happening again. However, mulling over something you cannot change can lead to self contempt. This not only can erode your confidence and encourage you to habitually berate yourself, but if you keep going down that path it can also lead to depression. If that is your situation, then please take advantage of any mental health benefits your company offers. If your organization does not offer mental health benefits, then take a look here.

What do you do to stop worrying about work? Please share in the comments.

For Your Review

It’s the most wonderful time of the year! No, not Halloween; performance reviews! What? You don’t like performance reviews? I get it, but instead of thinking of it as your manager’s opportunity to remind you how far short of the company’s expectations you fell, turn the spotlight on how valuable you are. Employees have more leverage than ever to get both a promotion and a raise. You’ll probably have to ask for both, but how?

Justify

Your company pays you for the profitability you bring, not for your personal circumstances. Don’t base your case for a pay increase on the amount of your bills. Build it on your accomplishments that helped the company achieve its mission. The easiest way to do this is to keep a folder on your desktop with a collection of evidence proving your worth. It’s not only helpful for performance reviews, it boosts your confidence all year long. The folder can include:

Emails thanking you for a job well done
A link to the recommendation section of your LinkedIn profile. You ask people for LinkedIn recommendations, right? If not, do; and offer to give one in return
Notes on your Top 20 List of Achievements. Include:
- Projects you led that moved the company closer to its goals
- Revenue you brought in
- Savings you attained
- New clients you acquired (and their worth)
- Initiatives you originated and their positive financial impact

This is a job interview. It requires rehearsal. Ask someone to role play with you. After summarizing your Top 20 List of Achievements, encourage your practice partner to ask you hard follow-up questions. Frame all your answers around why your company would benefit by promoting you. Here are a few questions to help you hear your pitch out loud then get their feedback:

How will advancing your career positively affect the company?
What projects/initiatives/clients will this new role allow you to obtain?
Who in the company has to invest their time, energy, and attention in you so that you will be successful in the new role?

Specify

Now that you know and can demonstrate your worth, you have to respectfully communicate that you expect to be recognized and compensated for it. If your manager asks how much money you expect to make, ask them what their budget is. This can prevent you from not asking for enough. Whether or not they offer a number, enter the conversation with a salary range in mind and ask for the top. If the salary range for the position you want is public information within the company, then it’s easy to find. If you have to dig for it, is there someone who held that position whom you can ask? If not, research other job descriptions with the title you want as the keywords. What is the current salary for someone with your level of education, experience, and track record who lives in your city? Bring these statistics with you. They provide credibility of your value in the talent pool.

Clarify

If the company can’t afford to give you more money, but still wants to give you more responsibility, then think carefully before deciding. A performance review is a negotiation. Don’t think of their answer as a no. Think of it as a not yet. You can negotiate for compensation other than money right now and revisit the salary conversation later. For example, will they:

give you a better title?
approve working remotely two days a week?
assign you to lead more high-visibility projects?
reimburse you for leadership development training?

If you can reach a compromise, then get in writing exactly what your additional duties will be, the compensation you will receive for them, and for how long. Request to revisit the pay increase discussion in six months. Schedule that meeting before the conversation ends. Make sure it’s noted on your manager’s calendar and in your personnel file. The two of you are not the only people looking at your performance review. HR (at least!) is too. Make sure as many people as is appropriate know this conversation is not over.

Asking for a raise is not about what you want. It’s about what your performance has earned. You uniquely contribute to your organization and they benefit from your work, your influence, and your networks.

Is this how you prepare for a performance review? What did I forget? Please share in the comments.

Your Pool is Leaking

Let’s do a Great recap. The iterations the workforce has gone through since March 2020 are The Great:

Retirement
Resignation
Reshuffle
Recognition
Realization
Reprioritization
Relocation

We are now in the Great Renegotiation. In all these evolutions, the workforce evaluated the role that employment should play in their lives. Many took control of how they produce income by trading traditional full-time employment for gigs, part-time, or starting their own businesses. There were 11.2 million jobs available in America as of the last business day of July 2022. There are more jobs than there are people willing to do them. What is the disconnect?

Employers say: No one wants to work
Workforce says: No one wants to work under the conditions employers are offering

Two plus years into the pandemic, the workforce has more agency than ever to choose how they make money yet so many employers refuse to accept that the balance of power is shifting. Too many employers are trying to attract workers with the same benefits they offered pre-COVD like signing bonuses, titles, and promotions. This strategy may attract traditional employees, but there aren’t many of them left swimming in the talent pool. The majority of available workforce want the flexibility to work remotely, mental-health support, and a manager who cares about them as a person.

The Great Rethink

For employers, it’s time to decide if you are willing to do what it takes to stay in business. For example, if you have a crucial position that’s been vacant for at least 90 days, then it’s time to look at your employee value proposition. Have you adjusted it to meet the needs of the current talent pool? Look at your notes from the interviews of recent candidates.

What were the majority looking for?
Did they expect both career development opportunities and autonomy to complete projects?
Were they not hired because you don’t fund upskilling?
Did any decline offers because they were not willing to work 40 hours a week on site?

Evolve to Survive

If you decide to update your benefits packages, you can use the answers to the above questions as a guide to attract the talent you need. To retain the employees you have, meet with HR and evaluate your company’s culture as objectively as possible. For example, If you say you have an inclusive culture that embraces work-life balance, but penalize employees for calling out microaggressions or taking a parent to a medical appointment, then employees will quit. Not only will they leave, but other employees who observe these contradictions may resign too. If culture adjustment is a huge undertaking for you, consider hiring a consultant. Someone who is trained in managing perception, can make impartial observations, and can help you refine your approach based on the currently available talent pool.

A Better Leader

Rethinking does not mean you are weak. Rethink about it like this: we are in an age where we must learn a skill, use it, then unlearn it to learn the updated version, use it, unlearn it, rinse, and repeat. Consequently, we should not be afraid of appearing indecisive when we change long-held opinions because new data, like this is available. Rethinking means you are both a realist and an innovator.

How are you adjusting to The Great Renegotiation? Please share in the comments.

It’s Just a Pause

I have a confession to make. I’m Team Oxford Comma. People can get passionate about correct comma usage. I did not realize there is such controversy over a crooked little mark. It’s just a pause, people! Sometimes a sentence has multiple commas because the author wants to slow down, make a list, or clarify. These three things are also useful in the workplace.

Slow Down

Plan A does not always work. When your team is trying to complete a project and hits an obstacle, pausing can help cool their frustrations. For example, I ask my clients to tell me what hurts. Their answers give me clues to solving their problems. Sometimes just thinking about the pain and how wide-spread it is sends them into a panic spiral. They talk faster, the pitch of their voices gets higher, their eyes get wider, their flight-fight-or-freeze mechanisms activate. That’s when I know it’s time to respond with slow, low, gentle-toned reassurances full of commas. By the same token, encouraging your team to take a pause helps everyone reset. Then you can calmly regroup and figure out together how to deal with the obstacle.

Make a List

Every task on your to-do list is the top priority and needs done yesterday, but you’ll get more work done if you stop what you’re doing. This is very counter-intuitive, but it’s like a flywheel. You can’t see the progression of the wheel turning while you’re pushing it. Much like you can’t feel the earth constantly turning while you’re standing on it. When you complete the push that makes the flywheel take off, you suddenly have lots of time. To get to the final push, sometimes you have to use a comma. Take a minute to box breath, then look at your task list. Determine which tasks are important and which are urgent. Take one action that gets one urgent task closer to completion, then pause. Look at your important tasks list. What is one action you can take in the next 15 minutes to get one item on it closer to completion? Then continue on with your urgent task list. At the end of the workday, reflect (another comma, btw). Celebrate how far you got on both the urgent and the important tasks, especially if you did not mark everything off both lists. Do not dwell on what is still left to do. Make a quick note of the next steps you’ll take on both lists tomorrow.

Clarify

Mental noise surrounds you 24/7/365. There is an overwhelming amount of information available to you. How do you make sense of any of it? Use a comma.

Pause – Stop. Breathe. Drink a glass of water
Reflect – Your wheels are turning, but you’re upside down. How did that happen?
Focus – What is the Why?
Refine – What is the most important next step or course correction?
Iterate – Take the next step
Repeat

How do you make the best use of pauses at work? Please share in the comments.