Mental Health – Page 7 – mardihumphreys.com

Who Are You?

During the first team meeting after Jane got promoted from individual contributor to manager, she admitted she was nervous about the new role and asked her team for help. Her honesty and vulnerability were counter productive. Instead of regarding her as authentic, Jane’s direct reports perceived her as weak and unable to do her job. They didn’t trust her decisions, making it impossible to lead them. Her leadership style should have evolved as she gained experience, but instead Jane lost the courage necessary to promote her ideas.

What Bringing Your Whole Self to Work Means

Being both courageous and comfortable enough with coworkers to reveal both personal interests and flaws, thus creating space for them to reciprocate
Normalizing what employees experience outside the workplace affects them in the workplace
Includes both the impression we give of ourselves (consciously or unconsciously) and the impression we have of coworkers
Some elements we consider: authenticity (“This is me, warts and all”), humility (“I don’t know everything”), and vulnerability (“I need your help”)

Bringing your whole self to work is a relatively new concept. It presupposes that employees want to find purpose and higher meaning through their jobs. During the industrial revolution, no one looked for engagement with their work. They worked to buy food, clothing and shelter. They looked for purpose and higher meaning at church, in nature, or through art. Even today, some employees will never see their jobs as a source of fulfillment. If employees spend their energy trying to fit in to the culture, then they don’t have a lot left to be innovative, engaged, and productive.

Why You Don’t

Maybe, like Jane, you brought your whole self to work in the past and got judged or were less than your coworkers expected
The culture of your workplace is not conducive to sharing, keeping conversations at surface level
You fear revealing certain parts of your personality will make you appear unprofessional (e.g., you remain silent in a meeting after your feelings were hurt)
You are ashamed of something in your background
You feel pressured to always be right because your work culture does not support learning from failure

Why You Should

The more willing you are to be authentically vulnerable, the more positive an impact you have on both your work and your team. Bringing your whole self to work:

Breaks down silos
Accelerates trust
Creates a culture where honesty is valued
Removes the stress of hiding flaws
Allows genuine connection (critical to successful networking)
Enhances productivity and performance
Boosts creative problem solving
Helps managers resolve conflict in a constructive way

Someone who recognizes when to risk being vulnerable also recognizes a smart business risk when they see it.

How You Can

Start the authenticity ball rolling by:

Both recognizing and appreciating coworkers. There is a difference. Recognizing is feedback on performance. E.g.,“You gave an excellent presentation today.” Appreciating is expressing gratitude for valuable human qualities (e.g., humility, kindness, humor) regardless of whether the deliverable succeeded or failed. E.g., “It’s obvious you care deeply about serving our customers.” Recognizing and appreciating them helps coworkers feel seen. This leads to deepening trust and improving job performance
Having a growth mindset. Every challenge is an opportunity to learn, and we learn more when we do it together
Leading through both modeling and celebrating behaviors like: speaking up, taking smart risks, and owning mistakes. This enables your workforce to feel psychologically safe which leads to creativity which leads to productivity which leads to revenue

How comfortable are you bringing your whole self to work? Please share in the comments.

We Can Work it Out

Photo by Tima Miroshnichenko from Pexels

American employees have worked in office buildings since 1906, even though emerging technology enables us to work from anywhere, any time, and with anyone. Companies buy buildings, so we must use the tools that work in them. Besides, if you can’t see your employees, they aren’t working, right? Let’s face it: If they’re watching Netflix at home, they’re probably watching it at the office too. In 2016, 43% of employees spent at least a few hours working remotely. During COVID, the exponential increase revealed outdated assumptions about it. The top three are: productivity, communication, and culture.

Productivity

This study shows employees are actually 35-40% more productive working remotely than in an office. Managers can boost productivity by:

clearly communicating goals (deadlines, KPIs)
giving individual contributors necessary equipment (laptop, industry specific software)
encouraging calendar sharing and ad-hoc communication (IM, video chats)

Time and activity tracking apps are available to keep an eye on the workforce (e.g., Teramind) or managers can insist on hourly activity reports. But, going overboard backfires. Productivity slows when employees have to interrupt their work to report on it; not to mention the distrust it cultivates. Working remotely not only increases productivity, but also reduces costs from real estate, employee absenteeism, and turnover. Research suggests a hybrid-remote work model could collectively save American employers over $500 billion a year.

Communication

Technology allows teams to communicate who is doing what, how close to the target they are, and what the result should look like. Data privacy is an issue; mostly a people one. For example, do all employees know they shouldn’t use free coffee shop Wi-Fi? Most data privacy issues can be addressed through company-wide training, secure VPNs, and well-communicated best practice policies. Implementing a hybrid-remote work policy helps employees understand business expectations, and advances both transparency and accountability for everyone. What should a best practice policy include?

COVID protocol: What are the rules for masks and social distancing? Must employees be vaccinated to work in the office?
Logistics: Who decides if an employee can work remotely; the employee or the employer? When in the office, does the employee have a dedicated workspace?
Equity: Is the remote employee reimbursed for office supplies, internet, and electricity? Will in-office employees receive better performance reviews due to unconscious bias? Is there a central company information hub that’s accessible to all employees?

Culture

A pleasantly surprising result of pandemic-induced remote work is that it has made some underrepresented groups feel more seen. Helping teams bond takes employers’ creativity, as well as time, and technology can facilitate initiatives.

Use employee recognition software to issue company-wide wellness challenges. By broadly defining wellness, (e.g., drinking water and meditation count as well as physical exercise) employers get more buy-in.
Schedule a recurring weekly thirty-minute coworker coffee, or happy hour (or both) via video chat.
Onboard new employees by pairing them with existing employees via instant messaging for one shift.
Engage employees with brief company-wide surveys (e.g., “What do you need most right now to be successful at your job: training or tools?”)

There’s no going back to the office-centric model. If an employer’s attitude is, “My employees have to work where I want them to, and I want them in the office,” then 54% of workers are willing to leave that employer when they find a position that supports remote work. If management and individual contributors come together to communicate what is working and identify where waste can be eliminated, we can create a sustainable hybrid-remote solution.

Do you want to go back to the office full time? Please share your preference in the comments.

Boundaries Battle Burnout

The World Health Organization recognizes burnout as an official medical diagnosis caused by an unrelenting work load and/or no work-life balance. It’s number two on this list of what employees said were their biggest challenges during the pandemic.

They feel:

pressured to be available 24/7/365
lack of flexibility at work
worried about losing their jobs
overwhelmed dealing with shuttered daycare and online school
not at liberty to talk about outside-of-work issues affecting job performance

To begin battling burnout, define, set, and enforce your personal boundaries with your manager.

Define

Your boundaries are based on your values and priorities. When defining them, think about what you need to feel empowered. The last time you felt undervalued, disrespected, or out of balance, what was the trigger? Did you have to work last weekend? Do you buy the office birthday cards and cupcakes for coworkers and it’s not in your job description? That’s where your boundary lies. If you could live that situation over again, what action would you take to change it?

Set

Does your manager randomly call you throughout the week? Schedule a recurring 1:1 catch up meeting with an agenda.
Feeling overwhelmed? Make a list of your priorities and ask them to do the same. In your next 1:1, compare lists. Are they different? Decide together what your top three responsibilities are and how much freedom you have to accomplish them.
If your manager’s expectations cross a boundary, how important is the boundary to you? Is a compromise possible? Is saying no a battle you want to fight?
Give updates on your projects’ statuses and request they prioritize them. Ask them to tell you more about why they need this new assignment done in this timeframe, and why the task requires your unique skillset.
Personal goals count. If your manager wants you to stay late, but your trainer is meeting you at the gym at 6:00PM, offer to get started early tomorrow morning. Compromise so you aren’t saying no all the time.
Best practice is setting boundaries at the beginning of a project. For example: Make a rule to only answer texts after 7PM if it’s an emergency, and define what constitutes an emergency.
Use technology to help you communicate boundaries: change your status to busy in Microsoft Teams (or whatever business communication platform you use), calendar an hour a day and label it as busy. You don’t have to say what you’re using the time for. Get the kids started on their homework if that’s what it takes to enable you to finish your work.

Burnout doesn’t just affect you, it affects the work too. You need to be flexible and accommodate the occasional emergency requiring overtime. But, regular work hours and exceeding the expectations of the project are good boundaries to help you both do the work everyday and juggle the other aspects of your life. Do not apologize for protecting the time it takes to do the work you are already assigned.

Enforce

Practice for boundary crossers. Rehearsal takes the emotion out of holding your boundary. Visualize your manager asking you to work on a Sunday morning; what do you do? Don’t fume over the infraction. Immediately reinforce your boundary by clearly and respectfully stating what it is and why it exists. Be consistent in holding healthy boundaries. You aren’t communicating clearly if you keep moving them. If you said you won’t respond to emails after 7:00PM, don’t open your inbox.

Your boundaries will get challenged. That will reveal where they are and help you to refine and iterate them. Those who set and hold boundaries gain respect. A friend just gave up a committee chair position because she assessed her commitments and realized she needed to off-load some. Will I miss her leadership? Yes. Do I respect her for making choices that help her achieve her goals? Absolutely.

When was the last time someone crossed one of your boundaries? What did you do to hold it? Please share in the comments.

How Do You Spell Relief? E-m-p-a-t-h-y

The longer COVID drags on, the more fragile we feel. If everyone feels this way, it’s affecting the companies we serve. We need clients to buy our products and services, but desperation has a way of creeping into our subconscious and leaking out in our presentations. It’s neither attractive nor productive. We have to be willing to brainstorm our clients’ current problems and help them weigh the value of possible solutions – even if we are not the relief for their immediate pain point. Should we pay more attention to the role empathy can play in business? If so, how do we communicate it?

Care

It’s nice to do business with nice people. Given current events, even nice business people are stressed and stress can shorten anyone’s fuse. We have no idea what is going on with our clients outside of our relationships with them, and they may not be comfortable sharing. We should not take any atypical negative attitude personally. We should assume in showing up, our clients are coping as best they can. This is an opportunity for us to provide them with a respite. Remind them blue-sky thinking with us is a valuable idea-generation tool. Validate their efforts by telling them they’re doing a good job.

Pay Attention

When we meet with a client, we need to read the room (or the Zoom). Is she fidgety, grumpy, quiet? Does she look tired, worried, distracted? What about her body language? Is she slouching? Avoiding eye contact? The words she uses are also a clue. We should listen for emotionally charged words and the tone of voice she uses to say them. To find the emotions underneath the exterior, we can start the conversation with the obvious, “How are you doing? How is the family? How is business going?” We are looking for a point of connection. This is trickier than it sounds. For example, empathy is not the client laying out a scenario and me replying, “I know exactly how you feel because that happened to me too once.” While I may have experienced the same situation, my interpretation of it inevitably differs from my client’s. I discredit myself and discount my client if I say I know exactly how she feels. My goal is to understand her experience and feel her unique position with her in the moment. It’s more genuine to say, “Tell me more,” than “ I know how you feel because I…” We’re working to create a safe and judgement-free zone.

Listen

It’s extremely counterintuitive, but don’t problem solve at this point. It’s way too early in the process. Our clients want to feel heard and understood. They’re in pain and need relief. We have to demonstrate our desire to uncover why the pain exists in the first place. How would we feel if we were the ones experiencing this pain?

Not every meeting has to end with submitting a proposal. People can tell when we’re in relationship with them just to see how much we can gain from it. With a mindset of our success is tied to the success of our clients, we develop a sustainable business model based on mutual respect and trust and can build relationships that last for years.

How do you empathize with your clients without veering into problem solving? Please share your story in the comments section.

Another Christmas Story

Once upon a time, December was the busiest month of the year.

Holiday parties – my husband’s work, my work, our daughter’s school
Gifts – making a list (and checking it twice), buying, wrapping, personally delivering or shipping
Christmas cards – buying, writing the end-of-year-family newsletter, addressing, buying postage, mailing
Cooking – planning the menus, making a grocery list (also checking it twice) purchasing the ingredients, cooking, serving
Decorating – pulling decorations out of storage, repairing the damaged, purchasing new
Miscellaneous traditions – driving around to see Christmas lights, baking and delivering cookies for first responders, attending Christmas Eve service

My fingers are tired from typing this. At the time it was fun. We love putting on ugly Christmas sweaters, gathering with friends and family and coworkers and celebrating the season, right? Or do we just love the idea of it? We downplay the stress of its reality. Our brains exhausted from holiday office party small talk. Our savings account spent on gifts for neighbors we barely know. Our cupboards bare from constantly replenishing the buffet at our extended family’s feast. Our vision of the perfect holiday is rarely realized since we can’t control the players, and this holiday season, there isn’t much of anything we can control.

During our first holiday season in Georgia, my husband was a worship leader, our daughter was in elementary school, and I was a teacher’s aide. By the morning of Christmas Eve, all three of us were exhausted from, well, see the list above. Working multiple Christmas Eve services, my husband was unavailable from early morning until late evening. Our daughter and I attended the first service. We grabbed tins of cookies the congregation baked for first responders on our way out. In the car, we ordered pizza before leaving the parking lot. By the time we dropped off the cookies at the firehouse located between the church and the restaurant, our pizza was waiting for us at the drive-thru. We got home and put on our jammies (it was only about 1:00PM, btw). I found White Christmas on TV. We ate pizza. We sang “Happy Birthday” to Jesus, blew out the candles on His cake, and ate slices for Him. We napped. When my husband got home, we repeated the process. We watched Christmas movies, stuffed our faces, and napped for the next 24 hours. Christmas Day ended with a drive through a local coffee shop for lattes and hot chocolate and meandering through neighboring subdivisions to look at their Christmas lights on the way back home. We did not answer the phone or check social media the entire time. It was the most relaxed the three of us had been since Thanksgiving. When the next year rolled around our daughter asked if we could do it again. I dubbed it “cocooning” and it became a tradition for the rest of our Georgia residency.

Several of our holiday activities aged out. I no longer send a year-end family newsletter. I refer everyone to social media. Email makes sending season’s greetings both quick and inexpensive. Because of COVID-19, more traditions are canceled this year and if I’m honest, I’m sorry, not sorry. We have plenty of options to cocoon. We can:

have food delivered either from our grocery to make our favorite treats, or from a local restaurant. If we order through a food delivery service, we keep a local driver employed
stream most any Christmas movie ever made
have decorations and jammies delivered from a local department store
stream holiday music playlists from our chosen service
send a cookie gift basket to our nearest firehouse through a local bakery
watch our church’s Christmas Eve service on their website
make our own lattes and hot chocolate and tour neighborhood Christmas light displays from our couch thanks to YouTube (For my Dayton, Ohio friends, you can see the old Rike’s holiday windows virtually)

This global crisis has given us a holiday gift: a reason to celebrate small. Do you usually:

travel 312 miles to stay with the in-laws? Can’t this year; COVID
spend hundreds of dollars on gifts? Can’t this year; COVID
attend your partner’s office holiday party? Can’t this year; COVID.

The pandemic has taken people we love, employment we need, and freedoms we cherish away from us. But, it has given us a reason to stop, be grateful for what we still have, and act on it. Let’s celebrate through our words and (maybe virtual) presence the people we’ve leaned on, both personally and professionally, to get through 2020. Isn’t that the essence of the holidays? Making sure people know how much we appreciate them?

How are you adjusting your holiday celebrations this year? Please share in the comments.

Can You Feel the Heat?

This COVID Christmas feels off just enough to make us lose our balance. For example, our daughter called me during her commute home the other night. She was stressed. She’d spent eight mask-wearing-social-distancing hours at her office and was rushing home in Chicago traffic to set up the work station in her apartment. She was scheduled to guest on a college’s webcast to promote her company to their student listeners. As I tried to extinguish the fire of her burnout over the phone from 316 miles away and five minutes before Jeopardy!, she accused me of speaking in lyrics from Hamilton, an American Musical. Can you blame me? It has several relatable scenes of characters striving for work-life balance; “Non-Stop” being the most obvious.

The focus of the song “Non-Stop” is Alexander Hamilton writing The Federalist Papers, but he’s got a lot going on in addition. He’s practicing law. He’s a delegate to the Constitutional Convention. He’s distracted by Angelica Schuyler’s move to London and impending marriage. His wife, Eliza, pressures him to accompany her and their children on a summer vacation to her dad’s place, and George Washington enlists him to lead the Treasury Department. Alexander was both working from home and homing from work. Sound familiar?

Maybe you don’t practice law, but you do own a business
You aren’t a delegate to the Constitutional Convention, but maybe you are a board chair
Maybe you aren’t distracted by a friend moving across the ocean, but you are preoccupied by your child’s intent to move into his college’s student housing
Maybe you aren’t being pressured by your wife to accompany her and your children to the in-law’s place for a holiday, but, wait; maybe you are
Maybe you haven’t been approached to lead the Treasury Department, but you are concerned about leading your sales department through the rest of Q4

Add the holiday season to any one of the above scenarios and you’re on the road to burnout. So what can you do? Tap the brakes.

Ways to Combat Holiday Burnout

Take a day (or even just half a day) of vacation and get your hair done; particularly if you get a paid holiday off this month. The extra time spent on your appearance will make you feel better
Phone a friend. We’re all feeling a little mental right now. Find out how he is coping. Stay connected to people; especially the ones you care about and who care about you
Find your release. Take a walk outside. Listen to a true-crime podcast. Take a power nap. Snuggle your pet. Browse memes. Whatever it is, take fifteen minutes to decompress
Change your scenery. If you’re working from home, don’t conference call in the same room every time
Do something holiday themed. Wrap a Hanukkah gift. Bake Christmas cookies. Plan the Karamu menu. Switch to egg nog instead of coffee

I can’t believe I just suggested a drink other than coffee.

What are you doing to battle holiday burnout? Please share your tips and tricks in the comments section.

You Can Do Hard Things

Merriam-Webster defines resilience as a noun meaning “1: the capability of a strained body to recover its size and shape after deformation caused especially by cohesive stress and 2: an ability to recover from or adjust easily to misfortune or change.” Thanks to the pandemic, I can apply both of these definitions to my life. 1: My strained body needs to recover its shape after the deformation caused by COVID-19’s cohesive stress. 2. I strive to adjust to pandemic-induced change, but the constant pivoting makes me nauseous.

TMI

For this discussion, let’s stick with the second definition. We talked about a form of resilience in this earlier post. Other ways to think of resilience are Viktor Frankl’s theory of Tragic Optimism, Friedrich Nietzsche’s adage what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, and even the Serenity Prayer. (I like Erma Bombeck’s version at the bottom of page 11.)

IRL

It’s physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausting to think about our ingrained routines and adjust them for COVID-19. For example: Let’s say you’re a mom with a husband and two kids, one school age and one younger. You work in an office and your husband is a trucker. Every morning pre-pandemic, you:

Kissed your husband goodbye
Dropped your younger child at daycare
Dropped your older child at school
Hit your favorite coffee shop
Went to the office

Now, your husband is constantly on the road, your children are home, and your favorite coffee shop is closed. You’re working from home, but need faster internet to accommodate both your teleconferences and your older child’s online school. Overwhelmed? Resilience is taking baby steps toward solutions.

Buy some quality coffee and make yourself a pot
Call your internet provider and upgrade your speed
Tell your husband you’ll be thinking about him while he’s on his route today
Color with your youngest
Listen to your oldest’s struggle with an assignment
Email your manager. How is he doing? What is the one thing he’d like you to accomplish today?

Whew, you did it! You made it through the day! Take a deep breath and relax.

FTW

COVID-19 fatigue is real. You can get through any trial when you know it’s going to end; like a pregnant woman in labor. With no end in sight, you have to adjust your goals. In his book, Survival Psychology, John Leach describes transitioning from short term survival behavior to long term survival behavior. It seems very similar to the grieving process (e.g., shock, denial, anger, acceptance). One key is self-discipline, but be careful of thinking in absolutes like, “I’ve blown my diet by eating one cookie, so I may as well eat the whole bag.” One lapse does not ruin anything. Try again. Another key is your value system. Keep reminding yourself who you are and what you do. For example, say out loud to yourself:

I’m (your name)
I’m a (what you do) for my clients (or team)
The most important task for me to accomplish today is (your number one priority)
The next step to getting it done is (you get the idea).

Silly? Maybe, but it helps you to both focus and prioritize. Filter your priority list through the company’s current mission statement, which may have shifted because of COVID-19. (E.g., your company went from producing rum to hand sanitizer.) The company’s purpose should drive your daily tasks.

How is your company helping you be resilient? Please share in the comments section.

Gratitude Works

Thanksgiving is the time of year we discuss gratitude, but 90% of Americans started talking about it a few weeks into the quarantine as a way to fight stress. COVID-19 has given us plenty of time to think. If we dwell on what we’ve lost instead of what we’re grateful for, we’ll get depressed. Research indicates practicing gratitude has physical health benefits like better sleep, a stronger immune system, and lower blood pressure. It also benefits the health of your business.

With a Bit of a Mind Flip

Pre-COVID-19, gratitude in your workplace may have looked like Free Doughnut Fridays, employee of the month awards, or celebratory team lunches at the country club. Those are nice, but they don’t inspire company loyalty. Historically, work is a place for competition. Everyone battling for the same promotion or the biggest percentage of the limited raise pool. Would it surprise you to learn the key to retaining talented people is expressing gratitude, exhibiting patience, and excusing mistakes? When these habits are ingrained in a company’s culture and practiced by everyone from the C-Suite on down, they create a place where employees want to work. Why should you thank someone for what they’re paid to do? Studies indicate employees who feel valued are not only more productive, but also support the company’s goals. Gratitude reinforces trust. It bonds teams and reduces employee burnout which are especially important right now during the pandemic. Expressing gratitude is not only good for the person receiving appreciation, but also for the person giving it. Using positive words, recognizing a coworker for their contribution, or thanking a direct report’s effort, alters the mindset of the praise giver. You feel good when you see you’ve made someone else feel good.

I Have to Praise You Like I Should

The holiday season is a logical time to begin the habit of a company-wide gratitude practice, but don’t stop January 2. Put triggers in place to keep it going throughout the new year. Gratitude isn’t a feeling, it’s an action, so you must choose to express it and can give it anytime. The key is consistency. Think about putting someone in charge of identifying employees who deserve recognition and determining how they should receive it. For example, if an individual contributor is shy, putting him on speaker view at the company-wide teleconference to thank him may backfire. Being the center of attention may embarrass instead of appreciate him. Something else to consider: it’s logical to praise success, but you can be grateful for failure too. Every failed iteration of your process brings you closer to the solution. This allows you to thank team members for their soft skills (e.g., patience, perseverance), as well as their job performance. It’s work to give sincere thanks and make sure everyone is included, but the ROI can be huge. An employee who feels appreciated does more than the bare minimum her job requires.

COVID-19 Era Gratitude Suggestions:

Thank you emails – to individual contributors from their managers
Thankful Thursdays – managers send reminders to individual contributors to thank a team mate for something they helped with this week
Begin 1:1s with something you appreciate (e.g., unique insights, positive attitude, critical thinking, sense of humor) this can come from either the manager or the individual contributor
Create a page on the company’s website devoted to staff thanking each other

How does your company thank its employees? Please tell us about it in the comments section.

I Wish I’d Known

“Mom had made sure we were exposed to ideas and information that were not available to her as a young woman.” Brene Brown, Rising Strong

When I ran across that quote, it reminded me there are umpteen things I want my daughter to know about work because she’s a woman. Here are three.

Assertive and Likable

If you intend to be a leader, that violates current gender stereotypes. Research shows when a woman’s behavior violates gender stereotypes, it’s harder for her to advance in the organization. At my first full-time job, a male coworker chuckled at me, “Stop working so hard. You’re making the rest of us look bad.” The very behavior that could put me on a leadership path, made him uncomfortable. I navigated this by asking for help and including others (particularly male colleagues) when making decisions. To get promoted, I had to be both assertive and likable and that is not easy. Unfortunately, the business world hasn’t changed much.

Work-life Balance

If your job is building dependent (e.g., hospital, school, grocery), you have a better shot at work-life balance because you leave your work at the building. But you may be putting in more hours there keeping up with the demands of COVID-19, particularly if you work a frontline job. The pandemic revealed plenty of jobs aren’t tied to a specific building and can be done any time of day, blurring the line between work and home. As a woman, the work-life balancing act is more difficult thanks to stereotypical gender roles. The term work-life balance has a negative connotation, as if work isn’t part of your life. I suggest you strive for work-life integration. Pre-pandemic, this worked particularly well for those who have control over how and where they spend their workday. COVID-19 forced more employers to not only allow employees to work remotely, but also consider the possibility of making remote work a permanent option. Consequently, you have more opportunity to shape your day now than ever before and for the foreseeable future. It’s easy to go overboard and work too much, and there will be times when work is slow and life demands more of your attention. But if you create a schedule, coordinate with your partner and kids, unplug regularly to intentionally rest, work-life integration is more practical than work-life balance.

Own Your Success

In school, you work hard and get noticed. That doesn’t happen in the workforce. You have to promote yourself. First, internalize the fact you earned the right to recognition. We tend to remember our failures better than our successes, so keep a running list of your wins (e.g., attained goals set in your last performance review, clients you’ve landed, the number of clicks on the page you created for the company’s website). Second, accept compliments. Women are famous for diluting our achievements. We attribute our success to luck or we overshare credit. You work hard; accept recognition for it. This is not bragging. Just say thank you. Express gratitude for the contributions of coworkers who helped you, but don’t exaggerate their efforts and underestimate yours.

What advice do you give your daughters about work? Please share in the comments section.