Money – Page 9 – mardihumphreys.com

The Hard Way

Have you noticed that the skills you learned the hard way are the ones you remember best? Setting boundaries, creating margin, and disregarding toxic people’s opinions, are skills I learned through situations like my parents divorce, being the only female on my commercial production team, and working for a supervisor who only hired me to be his scapegoat. Through these experiences, I learned to adapt and be nimble. I was forced to discover my limits and figure out what to do when I reached them. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a Pollyanna. I’m a pirate. I’ve learned, and continue to practice, turning hardships over, around, and upside down looking for opportunity in the adversity in order to survive it. One of the ways I do this is by practicing gratitude. Gratitude is not a luxury for me. It’s a coping mechanism. It doesn’t come naturally. I have to work at it. I hope some of the things I do will work for you too.

Journal: Every morning I write down at least one thing in my gratitude journal that I’m thankful for from the previous day. I try not to be snarky. Statements like, “I’m grateful my gossipy coworker called in sick,” are not allowed. I mentioned my gratitude journal in an earlier post. Read more about it here.

Give: When it comes to money, I’m a saver. I tend to hold on to it too tightly. When I begin to resemble Ebenezer Scrooge, I look for ways to give some of it away anonymously. Gratitude reminds me to be thankful that since I have enough money to meet my needs, I can afford to give some of it away. For example: Paying the bill of the person behind me in the Starbucks drive thru line.

Serve: Serving doesn’t have to mean drudgery. It can be as simple as holding the door open for the person behind me at the Post Office, chatting with a lonely store owner during my canvassing, and letting someone with fewer items than me cut in the grocery store line. Gratitude reminds me that everyone I come in contact with has a problem and I don’t have to be another one.

So how have these three practices helped me in my career? When I’m in a difficult situation, gratitude reminds me that it’s temporary. As my grandmother used to say, “This too shall pass.” Remembering this helps me to relax and that vibe often attracts new connections. Luck is not only preparation meeting opportunity, it’s having an open mind and generous attitude. Networking is much easier if I’m genuinely interested in getting to know a person instead of just finding out what she can do for me. Gratitude helps me see light in dark circumstances. When I can see light at the end of a tunnel, I know what direction to head. I can formulate a plan to get around the obstacles in the tunnel and reach that light. Like when I have a project deadline looming and not enough crew, hours, or inventory to complete it, gratitude helps me focus on the fact that at least I have the project.

When work makes you feel small, stupid, sick, or stuck, practice gratitude. Treat others the way you want to be treated. Pay it forward because what goes around comes around. The love you take is equal to the love you make. These cliches are cliche because they are true. Gratitude is contagious. Go infect as many people as you can this week then tell me about it here:

Enough is Enough

My husband and I were shopping one Saturday afternoon along with a LOT of other people. He wanted to get to an item in menswear, but a lady was blocking the display with her cart, so he gave up. I encouraged him to politely ask her to move. He said, “I don’t really need it. Why would I buy it just because it’s 20% off?” The store didn’t sell anything we needed and my husband was wise not to spend our money. But what we think we need and how much money we spend on it, is very subjective. How do you know when you have enough? When you can buy a new refrigerator because yours unexpectedly dies? When you can pay for your children’s college tuition? When your retirement is fully funded? In the words of the great philosopher Sheryl Crow, “It’s not having what you want, it’s wanting what you’ve got.”

How much money is enough depends on the cost of food, clothing, and shelter where you live. For example: The median cost of a home in Dayton, OH is $45,000, while the median cost of a home in New York, NY is $662,100 . It also depends on how self-disciplined you are. Respondents to a survey by Charles Schwab said they need a net worth of 1.4 million dollars to live comfortably. Who has that kind of money? The survey acknowledges that most Americans live paycheck to paycheck. In addition, a study by Northwestern Mutual found Americans’ average personal debt in 2018 is over $38,000. Clearly, these people do NOT agree with Sheryl Crow.

Have you heard of the 50-30-20 rule? It suggests you spend 50% of your income on necessities like shelter and food, 30% on non-necessities like vacations and entertainment, and save the other 20%. If you earn enough money to apply this goal to your life, then you might want to create a simple budget to achieve it. Indulge your love affair with spreadsheets. Open one up and list all your expenses. In addition to basics like rent/mortgage, car payments, food, and utilities, remember to include essentials like gas for your car, student loan payments, childcare expenses, prescriptions, etc. If you have trouble remembering all of them, check your bank statement to see your regular payments and their amounts. Once you’ve listed them, add them up and divide by 12. This is roughly the minimum amount of money you need to make every month to live the way you’re currently living. BTW, this figure doesn’t take emergencies into account. If you break your leg, you’ll have hospital bills. If you break your air conditioner, you’ll have HVAC bills, etc. Even if you can’t save 20% of your income, you should put aside at least $1000 for emergencies. It’s tempting to spend the money you’ve so diligently saved, but once you’ve saved it up, try to forget you have it. After you figure out the approximate monthly amount you need to live, determine how much money you make a year. Divide that figure by 12 and compare it to how much you spend. If the amount you make is larger than what you need, put the difference in a savings account THAT YOU DO NOT TOUCH. To find out how much money people in your situation need to live in your area, here’s a living wage calculator.

Let’s say you’re a typical American paying your monthly bills and saving part of your income. You find a non-essential item you want to buy costing $250. Before you purchase, ask yourself: Is it worth my T.E.A.M.? Why do I want it? Do I need to save this money more than I need to spend it? Do I have debt I should put this money toward instead of purchasing this item? It’s a personal decision. There’s no wrong answer. For example: If the item is $250 worth of massages, you might really need it. If the item is $250 worth of bubble gum, you might really not. At the end of the day, buying something you don’t need is not about spending money. It’s about WHY you’re spending money. Why do you want this item? How does it make you feel? What hole are you trying to fill in buying it? Maybe try filling the hole with something else before throwing money down it.

How do you decide whether or not to purchase a pricey non-essential item? Tell me about it here:

I’m Sorry (Not Sorry)

Haters. Don’t you just hate ‘em? Why do people think it’s okay to judge your behavior? I mean, kvetch all you want, but don’t say it out loud. How rude! (Mardi said in her best Stephanie Tanner voice.) Ever feel like some of the things for which you’re criticized are just plain dumb? Here are three things for which you should not apologize:

Taking Time For Yourself: Hang out at Starbucks before work. Skip that invitation to go out in favor of staying in and reading or watching Hulu or napping or whatever. Take a vacation day from work and go to the movies. Attend that personal leadership conference. Book that spa day. Develop that exercise routine. You have both mental and physical limits. You have to refuel. If you don’t, it gets harder to focus on tasks and solve problems. I know it goes against the dominant “do whatever it takes to get the project done” mentality, but working non-stop actually prevents you from getting the project done. When you’re rested you work smarter and not harder. It isn’t just your body that needs rest, your brain has to stop thinking about work in order to reboot. So take a few hours and stop thinking about work. When you return, you’ll be surprised how ready your brain is to think differently about the task you left.

Setting Boundaries: “No,” is a whole sentence. You are not obligated to attend that event, serve on that committee, or mentor everyone who asks. Is it worth your T.E.A.M.? Leaders know their time is precious and limited and they learn how to say, “No.” You demonstrate self-respect when you refuse a commitment for which you know you cannot make time. You absolutely have to say no to situations that endanger your safety or integrity. If you work in an environment that supports work-life integration (handling tasks for your personal life while at work and vice versa), work will infringe on your personal time. It’s difficult not to think about work while you’re at home and sometimes it isn’t practical to leave work at the office. Just like it’s not always feasible to leave what’s happening at home outside the office. Be aware of your level of frustration. When it gets overwhelming, take a break. Identify what needs immediate action and what can wait. Then train your mind to focus only on what needs done and to ignore what can wait.

Spending Money You’ve Saved on Yourself: You work hard for the money (shout out to Donna Summer) so give yourself an allowance every week and let it add up. It takes discipline and restraint to leave that money alone, so when you want to spend it, do so with zero guilt. If you want to buy a necklace, laptop, or Michael Kors handbag, and you have enough cash set aside, do it. In fact, it makes you a better employee. How? You become persistent. You’re motivated to work in order to buy things you want. When you reward yourself, you want to do it again, so you have to go back to work to earn the money to do it. You also learn how to achieve your goals. When you want a promotion, you have to figure out what you have to do to get it and how long it will take. You use the same skills with a purchasing goal. You also became self-aware. What you buy says a lot about what you find valuable. When you identify your values, you can translate that to your job. What excites you about your work? How can you use that to stay motivated to get your job done?

Tell me some things people make you feel like you should apologize for here:

What to Expect When You’re Not Expecting

Awkward: The word that best describes the time period between a coworker’s dismissal and his departure. Even if it’s someone you don’t like, you wouldn’t wish job loss on anyone. Restructuring happens. Downsizing happens. Finding out someone’s role is eliminated makes you realize it can happen to you. It’s scary. It makes it hard to concentrate and do your job well. Not doing your job well puts you in danger of losing it, creating a vicious circle. You can’t control the corporate machine, but here are some things you can control:

The Obvious – Google what current resumes look like. If you haven’t had to search for a job for a few years, you may be in for a rude awakening. Employers want the story of your career in numbers, so you need to quantify yourself: How much revenue do you generate for your company? How much time have you saved your company through process improvement? Quantifying your job performance in percentages can be tricky if you are in an administrative role. You may have to get a bit creative. Can you quantify how much time you saved your supervisor? Can you quantify how much money you saved the company through frugal purchasing? You no longer have to put every job you ever held on your resume. Hiring managers only want to see your experience relevant to the job they need to fill. So, first create a master resume with every job you’ve ever had including dates, supervisors’ names and titles, the previously mentioned quantified percentages, referrals and contact information. Then, revisit it every six months to update any outdated information. If it becomes necessary for you to apply for a job, you can easily cherry pick the relevant experience from this document and create a fresh resume tailored specifically to the job for which you are applying.
Don’t forget the cover letter. Plenty of job coaches are on the fence about whether or not the cover letter is dead, but most agree it doesn’t hurt your chances if you send one. Polish yours, then save it as a template. Make it a marketing piece that tempts a hiring manager to read your resume. Hopefully, you won’t need it for a while, so leave notes for yourself in it. For example: include several ways to contact you; at least your email address and phone number in the signature block. Leave a note to yourself in the greeting to go to LinkedIn and find out the hiring manager’s name. In the body, leave a note to yourself to choose three key phrases from the job description then give examples of how your experience fills those needs using the quantifying percentages from your master resume. If you unexpectedly lose your job, just having a foundation to build on can calm your panic.

The Not so Obvious – Get on a job posting website and check out positions that interest you and companies at which you’d like to work. Check out the job descriptions. Do you have the skills to do the jobs that interest you ? If you don’t, go get them. With Massive Online Open Courses (MOOL), there’s no excuse not to have up to date skills. And yes, I’m putting my money where my mouth is (or where my fingers are, in this case). I took an online Introduction to Financial Accounting class from The Wharton School of Business through a MOOL. It’s not only on my resume, but also on my performance review.
Join LinkedIn. Do more than fill out your profile and upload a picture. If you need advice on how to use LinkedIn, search your public library’s database for a how-to book and check it out. While you wait for the book, read this article: https://www.themuse.com/advice/9-surefire-ways-to-boost-your-linkedin-profile-when-you-only-have-10-minutes
Network. This can solidify your current position as well as help you make connections in case you need to quickly find out who is hiring. Does your employer participate in networking groups? Wrangle an invitation or offer to manage your company’s table at the next event. You can pass out business cards and collect them for your own future use while simultaneously promoting your company. And don’t forget to follow up with new contacts on LinkedIn.
Do you know someone who has suffered job loss and bounced back into a new position? Buy her a cup of coffee and ask how she did it. Most people like telling their stories and smart people listen. Ask if in hindsight she knew the elimination was coming, what would she have done to prepare? When she gives you suggestions, do them.

Get a Side Gig – Take on an additional (part time) job, or a find a side hustle. At the very least, you’ll feel like you have some control over your destiny, and you’ll have a bit of income to fall back on if the worst happens. If the worst doesn’t happen, you’ll have a little extra cash; which leads me to my next point…

Save Your Money – This is not the time to purchase luxuries. Take this opportunity to pay down debt. Every month make an extra payment on your: car, credit card, student loan, mortgage (Get the idea?). Being debt free gives you so many options and peace of mind. No debt? Congratulations! Put the earnings from your side gig in your IRA. You DO have an Individual Retirement Account, right?

Keep Calm and… During uncertain times, you need to keep your wits about you. You can’t do that in panic mode. Need help getting down off the ledge? Grab your notebook (paper or computer) and start writing. Here are some prompts: What exactly are you afraid of? What is the worst that could happen? Seeing the words in front of you not only gives the feelings less power, it helps you form a plan. Then go for a walk, run, swim, yoga class, spin class or whatever. Do something to get your body and endorphins moving. Wear your body out to lower your stress so you can think more clearly.

Do Your Best Work – The company is going to do what the company needs to do. You cannot control that. The only insurance you can give yourself is to be the best at your job. Don’t give up. You’ll either keep your job or you won’t. And if you don’t, you’ll want to use your manager and coworkers as references. Let them be able to honestly tell your next hiring manager that you have enough emotional intelligence to show grace under pressure.

Please share your stories of living with job insecurity here:

The American Dream?

I was surprised (and mildly amused) by the pushback my husband and I received for selling our house and renting an apartment. We’d been kicking around the idea of downsizing since our daughter’s high school graduation party. Two years later houses in our neighborhood were in high demand and our conversations grew more urgent. One minute it was, “Let’s just call our realtor and chat,” and the next thing we knew she put a For Sale sign in the front yard. “That escalated quickly,” we thought. The house sold sixty hours after it was listed.

Since I’d been planning this escape for two years, I was ready to go, but my husband and daughter were a little nervous about the situation we now faced: We had a month to vacate and find somewhere else to live. Our daughter was a college student who kinda lived at home and kinda didn’t, so did she need a room with us? It was a sellers’ market. We wanted the next property we purchased to be the last property we purchased. Given these parameters, we decided buying another house at that time was not the wise choice. We found a very nice apartment home community with a very nice, very affordable unit for rent. It had the same number of bedrooms and bathrooms our house had. The only spaces we gave up were a basement and half a garage.

The funny looks began shortly after move in along with the questions: “Why did you sell your house?” “Why didn’t you buy another one?” “Do you need money?” The general perception was we could not afford our mortgage and had to sell. For example: People knew our daughter attended a private college. What they didn’t know is how many scholarships, grants, and awards she’d earned. People knew that in addition to my full-time job, I had a side gig at a local HomeGoods. What they didn’t know was why I did it: I wanted to stay busy. If I was busy, I didn’t have time to worry about what the aforementioned college student was doing.

Selling the house made us renegades. Like we spat in the face of the American Dream of home ownership. But is the dream turning into a nightmare? Take a mortgage for example: If you don’t put 20% down on a house, you have to pay private mortgage insurance (PMI). According to Zillow, the median price of a house in Dayton, Ohio (where we live), was $54,000. So you needed to put $10,980 down to avoid paying PMI. Okay, but did you want to live in a $54,000 home in Dayton Ohio? Mortgages can last 15, 30, or even 40 years. How old will you be in 40 years? If you paid a mortgage that long, you might as well pay rent and get the added benefits of living in an apartment community instead. I thought there were major tax benefits for home ownership, but after some quick Googling, I discovered the federal government giveth and the local government taketh away. Most people assume it’s more expensive to rent than to own. My husband crunched the numbers after three months of apartment living and found it indeed was more expensive. It cost us $3.07 more a month. Worth. It.

Honestly, we were not happy homeowners. We’d become “those” people – “Get off my lawn!” The number of houses for rent in our neighborhood increased. The public school system put a bus stop in front of our house. Major home repairs loomed. We got out while we could and have no regrets. Recently, when friends told me they spent their last two weekends on home improvement projects then asked me what I did, I responded, “Read Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban again.” There is no grass mowing, no snow shoveling, no taking time off work to wait for a plumber. There are no HVAC, roof, or driveway replacement costs. I send an email and like a fairy godmother, maintenance comes while I’m at work and fixes stuff. No more gym or pool membership fees.

How long will we rent? We don’t know. We will make that decision when the market turns back around in favor of the buyer. We may never own property again. Do you think owning a house is still the American dream? Do you think it’s a good investment? Have you downsized? If so, are you glad you did? Tell me about it here:

Manage Your Money or It Will Manage You

On the drive home from a visit to our “Wealth Manager,” (Apologies for the dramatic quotation marks. I find the job title funny. Probably because we are not considered wealthy by most American standards.) I asked my husband how people like us who have jobs in retail, business, and sales could afford houses, new cars, and cruises. My husband’s theory was they are willing to live with a lot of debt and that’s pretty normal for most Americans. There’s the difference between me and most Americans. I’m almost debt phobic. Can you blame me? Look at some of the statistics:

Do you have a credit card? In 2017, the average American household owed $7,136 on credit cards. (https://www.fool.com/credit-cards/2017/12/11/heres-the-average-american-households-credit-car-2.aspx)

Do you own your house? In Ohio, the state in which I live, the average mortgage debt in 2017, was $129,106, which is actually one of the top ten states with the lowest average. (https://www.experian.com/blogs/ask-experian/how-much-americans-owe-on-their-mortgages-in-every-state/)

Do you have a car loan? The average monthly new car payment in 2017, was $479 with a commitment to pay for 68 months. (https://www.thebalance.com/average-monthly-car-payment-4137650)

Do you have student loans? As of November 2017, a student graduating with a Bachelor’s degree in the state of Ohio has $19,300 in student loan debt. (http://www.businessinsider.com/student-loan-debt-average-by-state-map-2017-11)

I look at these statistics and have to ask: Why all this debt? Does it make us happy or do we feel in competition with our friends? If it’s the latter, STOP. RIGHT. NOW. You can go for a while carrying debt, but eventually it will bite you in the patootie and in the meantime, the stress will eat you alive. (https://moneyish.com/ish/americans-are-crappy-with-money-heres-exactly-how-thats-wrecking-their-health/)

As for me, living as cheaply as possible is a game. I use coupons. With digital coupons, it’s easy. For holidays, I ask for gift cards. My husband and I have neither a mortgage nor car loans. We have a college student, so helping her pay for that is a priority. We also prioritize saving for retirement. I had a side gig working retail in order to help fund both and yes, it was worth my T.E.A.M. (Please see my post: Is It Worth Your T.E.A.M.? for the punchline to this inside joke). We also do some charitable giving, but that’s private, so I’m pulling a Gump (“That’s all I have to say about that”).

So, wondering what you can do to lessen your debt and increase your peace of mind? I defer to the Jedi Master Dave Ramsey. He has great strategies. We don’t follow all of them, but the ones we can, we do. Before you surf over to his website: www.daveramsey.com, (The link is for your convenience. Dave Ramsey doesn’t know I exist, so he does not compensate me for the link. If there is another money master you prefer, go to his/her website and start digging.) here are some suggestions to get you started:

Break a bad habit – smoking, for example costs you money not only for the cigarettes now, but also for the inevitable medical bills later.
Break a good habit – the coffee and breakfast sandwich you buy on your way to work can be made at home for pennies.
Save cash. Literally. Save one of the return envelopes that accompany the bills you receive in the mail. Every Friday stick $30 in it. By the end of the year, you will have $1560.
Embrace simplicity – it’s kinda trendy now. Get a library card. You can check out movies and music, as well as books, for free. And not just hard copies; digital too. Choose to explore a city nearby for vacation instead of going somewhere far away. Explore your hometown’s metro park system for outdoor entertainment. Dust off the board games and invite friends over to play. Have everyone bring a snack to share.

Adopting even just one or two of these practices will make an exponential difference in your life. You cannot put a price tag on the peace of mind freedom from debt gives you.