Mental Health – mardihumphreys.com

Even Keeled

Last week we talked about how to become aware of our emotions, what triggers them, and how they affect our decision making. Now that you know what they are and why they happen, let’s talk about moving from self-awareness to self-regulation.

You Are in Charge

When you start to feel out of control, what can you do to get ahead of your emotions and constructively respond?

Pause – For example, you are tasked with removing the bottleneck from one of your organization’s workflows. You email the project manager an idea. The reply you receive is harshly critical and dismissive. What do you do? You want to fire off a defensive response. Instead, take a breath, step away, and revisit the email later. The pause gives your rational mind a chance to kick in.

Reset – When stress builds, your decision-making suffers. Techniques like deep breathing or a quick meditation can help in the moment. On days you have to make important decisions, take a break to move your body in addition to those tools. Even a short walk around the block can make a difference. Give yourself a 15-minute “reset break” to clear your mind.

Adapt – Asynchronous work environments demand flexibility. For example, a teammate’s delayed reply may derail your plan. When it does, remind yourself that staying open to new solutions helps maintain momentum in the long run.

Get Social

Strong relationships pave the way for problem-solving as well as career advancement. Building those relationships takes deliberate effort.

Communicate – For example, you’re on a video call with your team putting together an agenda for a client update and they are all distracted. Instead of letting your annoyance show, try saying, “I’d love everyone’s input on this. What else do we want the client to know that I don’t have on this list?” Inviting engagement respectfully can shift the tone of the meeting.

Share – Teams thrive when credit is shared. If you’re leading a project, make it a habit to highlight contributions from teammates, even in small ways like Slack shout-outs.

Learn – Disagreements happen. It’s how you handle them that matters. Focus on solutions instead of assigning blame. For example, if someone misses a deadline, instead of saying, “You messed up,” try, “Let’s figure out how to avoid this in the future.”

Support – If you notice a team member struggling with a task, offer to be a resource. A small gesture, like volunteering to review their work, shows commitment to the team’s success.

Galvanize – Even when projects get messy, a positive outlook can help your team keep going. For example, if a new tool isn’t working as expected, reframing the setback as a learning opportunity can keep morale from plummeting.

Practice – Start with one small action each day. For example, pause before replying to an irritating email or ask a colleague how they’re feeling before diving into work. Over time, these habits become second nature.

Next Steps

Remember the emotion log you kept last week? Pull it out. Knowing what you know now, how do you wish you would have responded in those situations? Now you have an option to experiment with the next time those triggers go off. Here are a few ideas to maintain your progress.

Reflect – Spend five minutes at the end of each workday reviewing your emotional responses and interactions. If there is something you wish you’d done differently, make a note of it. If you responded instead of reacted to a trigger, pat yourself on the back.

Experiment – Try one self-regulation technique during a challenging moment. For example, box breathe, or silently count to three before speaking. Find what works best for maintaining your composure.

Ask – Request feedback from a trusted colleague on how you handle stress during collaboration. This is a private conversation maybe over coffee.

How do you self-regulate to function better at work? Please share in the comments.

Control Yourself

Self-awareness is critical to your success at work, but it’s only the beginning. You must move beyond self-awareness to self-regulation so you can develop stronger relationships and make better decisions under pressure. Being self-aware means you understand what emotions you’re experiencing and why in the moment. In this first article of a two-parter, let’s think about how to recognize your emotions, what triggers them, and how they affect your decision making.

Recognize Your Emotions

Do you feel your patience evaporate when someone schedules yet another meeting at 4:30 p.m.? Or maybe your stress spikes when you’re asked to present in front of leadership. These reactions are normal, but not recognizing them means you’ll likely let them dictate your behavior over and over again. Try keeping an emotion log for a week. After intense reactions, jot down what you felt, what triggered it, and how you responded. Your goal is data capture. At this point, you aren’t trying to change anything. You’re seeking clarity.

Listen to Your Body

Your body often signals your emotions before your mind processes them. For example, clenched fists may signal frustration, or a tight feeling in your chest can indicate anxiety. When your heart races during a tense one-on-one with your manager, this is a physical cue. Remind yourself to pause, breathe, and do not respond impulsively. If your shoulders tense every time a particular coworker emails you, then take a moment to analyze why. Are you anticipating conflict? Understanding this pattern can help you approach your reply calmly.

Understand Your Triggers

How do you feel when your coworker interrupts you during brainstorming sessions? What about when a teammate takes credit for your work during a presentation? Does your head hurt when your manager abruptly shifts deadlines or priorities without explanation? Does receiving vague feedback on a high-stakes project haunt you for days? If you recognize the patterns in your behavior, then you can prevent your frustration from making bad decisions for you during critical interactions. Knowing your triggers lets you plan responses instead of reactions.

Get Perspective

Feedback from colleagues can uncover blind spots. You expect to get feedback from your manager, but you probably won’t get it from your teammates unless you ask. For example, if your tech lead thinks you seem dismissive when you disagree with them, that is something you want to know. You need to become aware of how your unintentional reactions affect those around you. Once you are, you can adjust your tone and body language during your conversations. If you don’t have a work bestie you trust to tell you the truth, you can use personality assessments like StrengthsFinder or Enneagram to discover your natural tendencies.

Reflect on Your Reactions

Look back at that emotion log you kept for a week. The data you collected states what you felt, the trigger, and how you responded. Now, ask yourself why you responded that way in those situations. For example, if you felt anxiety during a meeting, the trigger was a shortened deadline, and your response was raising your voice, ask yourself: “Why did I respond that way?” Maybe the answer is tight deadlines bring out your impatience. Since tight deadlines are going to keep happening, think about how you can handle similar situations more constructively. Over time identifying your patterns will not only help you identify similar emotions in real time, but also help you control them. Keep your emotion log this week and next week we’ll talk about some constructive ways to regulate them.

What emotion do you feel most while at work? Please share in the comments.

Get in Align

The end of the year is a good time to reflect. Don’t know where to start? You can modify the agile retrospective used in project management and use it to both look back on what you accomplished this year and look forward to what you want to accomplish next year.

Start with Four Basic Prompts:

What went well?

Acknowledge wins, big or small. Maybe you mastered a new tool, streamlined your workflow, or received positive feedback from a client. Recognizing these moments builds confidence and clarifies what you should keep doing.

What didn’t?

Reflect on challenges. Did you struggle to meet deadlines or communicate effectively with a coworker? Identify pain points without self-judgment.

What do I need to improve?

Be specific. If you found time management difficult, pinpoint the cause. Was it procrastination, overcommitment, or distractions?

What are some ideas for achieving that improvement?

Brainstorm solutions. If you aim to improve your productivity, think about turning notifications off on all your devices.

Need a template?

Here is an example to help you get started. Let’s say you struggled with time management this year. Your reflection might look like this:

What went well? You met your quarterly goals for client deliverables.

What didn’t go well? You felt constantly rushed and missed a few deadlines.

What do I need to improve? Prioritizing tasks better.

Ideas for improvement: Use a time-blocking app to organize your day, plan weekly reviews, and delegate admin tasks to focus on high-value work.

But Wait, There’s More

Now that you have a framework, here are some additional prompts to help you reflect more deeply.

What tasks energized me this year? What drained me?

If presenting at meetings invigorates you, but repetitive admin work wears you down, consider delegating low-impact tasks or automating processes to free up energy for high-value activities.

What can I let go of?

Free yourself from habits or projects that no longer serve you. Maybe it’s saying no to tasks outside your organization’s mission or stepping away from a committee that’s not aligned with your goals.

What skills do I want to develop next year?

If you’re aiming for a leadership role, focus on skills like strategic thinking or team-building.

Where did I spend most of my time? Was it aligned with my goals?

If a significant portion of your time went to handling urgent but unimportant tasks, consider revisiting your prioritization methods. For suggestions on tools, Google “time management techniques.”

What feedback did I receive this year? Did I act on it?

If you received repeated comments about your unclear communication, then use them to set improvement goals.

What decisions or actions had the most impact? What can I learn from them?

Reflect on high-impact decisions, whether positive or negative. Did you successfully manage a challenging project? Or did you miss an opportunity because you hesitated? Identify patterns in your decision-making process. It will sharpen your capability to continuously improve.

What prompts do you use to gain insight on your professional development? Please share in the comments.

Heavy Weight

Do you ever stare at your computer screen then check the time and three minutes have passed without typing a single word? No? Just me? Okay. When this happens, it usually means my cognitive load has exceeded capacity. Cognitive load is how much information your brain can handle at one time and plays a huge role in how you manage your attention. High cognitive load overwhelms your brain making it difficult to process data, make decisions, or stay focused.

Results of High Cognitive Load

Increased Errors: When your attention is overloaded, it becomes harder to process details and avoid mistakes. For example, you’re working on a report and your email notifications keep going off. While your brain is absorbing multiple pieces of information, errors are more likely to slip through the cracks.

Reduced Efficiency: The more your cognitive load increases, the longer it takes to complete tasks. For example, going down a research rabbit hole can make a project that should take 30 minutes drag into an hour because you’re mentally exhausted and struggling to focus.

Procrastination: If you’re already feeling overwhelmed by cognitive load, the idea of diving into something complex makes you want to avoid it. For example, it’s the end of the day so you reschedule the call to your high-maintenance client. Again.

Why Your Cognitive Load Gets Heavy

Managing Multiple Tools: Have you ever been working away at your laptop, stopped and thought, “Why am I exhausted? All I’ve been doing is sitting here for the past hour.” Constantly switching between documents and spreadsheets, email, and messaging apps leads to mental fatigue. Your brain has to adjust every time you shift between tools, increasing cognitive load.

Dealing with Information Overload: You receive more information than you can process. For example, email threads you are copied on, minutes from meetings you missed, and notes from client calls. Sorting through all this data without a clear system overwhelms your brain.

Juggling Competing Deadlines: You have to constantly reprioritize projects and everything feels urgent. This strains your decision-making abilities. As you mentally switch between tasks, it becomes increasingly difficult to focus on any one thing effectively.

How to Manage Your Cognitive Load

Prioritize Tasks: Not all tasks require the same amount of mental energy. Categorize your to-do list by urgency and importance. Work on high-priority tasks when your attention is highest. This spends your cognitive resources on what matters most. For example, instead of answering low-priority emails first thing in the morning, focus on writing that activity report.

Break Down Complex Projects: When facing a difficult task, break it into smaller, manageable steps. For example, if you’re preparing a presentation, start by gathering the data one day, writing the script the next, outlining the slides the next, and refining the visuals on the fourth day. Each step requires less cognitive effort than trying to complete the entire presentation in one sitting.

Limit Multitasking: Instead of constantly switching between different tasks, practice focused work. Set aside dedicated blocks of time to focus on one task at a time. For examples read this.

Streamline Information Intake: Tools like email filters can help you narrow your focus to relevant data. For example: Set your inbox to show only emails from key contacts during work hours.

Take Mental Breaks: Short, regular breaks allow your brain to reset and improve your concentration when you return to work. For example, set an alarm to work uninterrupted for 50 minutes followed by a 10-minute break. During breaks, step away from your workspace, stretch, hydrate, and let your mind recharge.

How do you manage your cognitive load? Please share in the comments.

Under Pressure

At a webinar I hosted recently, there was a bit of time left at the end of the session. I offered to end it and give everyone five minutes of their lives back. With the words barely out of my mouth, all 45 attendees started waving goodbye, thanking the presenter, or dropping off the call. Five minutes may not seem like anything to get excited about, but it can be the difference between a bathroom break before your next call and no bathroom break for three hours.

This made me think about today’s fast-paced work culture. You are working in a high-pressure environment that demands rapid decision-making, maximum productivity, and constant task switching. Every moment counts and the margin for error is minimal. How can you manage your time effectively under these conditions?

What Does High Pressure Look Like?

Tight Deadlines: Perpetual looming deadlines intensify the pressure to perform. When deliverables have short deadlines you have to work longer hours. This both increases your stress and makes it harder to pay attention to tasks that are important but not urgent.

Great Expectations: Your customers continually push you to exceed your regular performance, accuracy, and speed. You have to juggle multiple tasks simultaneously without compromising quality. A work culture that emphasizes competition over collaboration saps additional time as you battle for recognition, promotion, or job security.

Resource Constraints: If you work in an environment where changes in market conditions, technology, or organizational shifts mean you must frequently, unexpectedly, and suddenly adapt to changes, then these disruptions make time management challenging due to rapidly shifting priorities. A lack of adequate resources, like workforce, budget, or tools, forces you to work harder.

How Can You Manage Under Pressure?

Determine What Matters Most: Identify the most critical tasks that have the biggest impact on your goals. Put “time management matrices” in your favorite search engine for suggestions on what technique will work best for you. Focus on high-impact projects so your time is spent on activities that deliver the most significant results. Use time blocking when you need to do deep work. Break down large projects into smaller tasks with realistic deadlines. Once a month reflect on what is working and what isn’t. This helps you continuously improve your time management strategies and adapt to new challenges.

Leverage AI and Automation: Make technology your ally. AI-driven applications can sort emails, schedule meetings, and even draft responses. Automation tools can handle repetitive tasks, like data entry, invoicing, or reporting. Put “automation tools for streamlining repetitive tasks at work” in your favorite search engine for suggestions on what tool will work best for you. Automate routine processes to free up time for more critical tasks that require your unique expertise and decision-making skills.

Use Technology Mindfully: Technology aids productivity. It’s also a source of distraction. Limit notifications from social media, emails, or non-essential apps during deep work. Use noise-cancelling headphones, ambient sound apps, or website blockers to minimize distractions. Set specific times to check emails and messages rather than reacting to them as they come in.

Don’t Do It All Yourself: Effective delegation not only reduces your workload but also empowers your team, builds trust, and fosters collaboration. Delegation is not offloading tasks you don’t want to do. It is leveraging your teams’ skills to maximize your collective productivity. Assess your workload. What tasks are on your to-do list that someone else is better at? Do these teammates have the bandwidth to take on those tasks? Give clear instructions on expectations, deadlines, and the level of authority the person has. Provide the necessary resources and support to set them up for success.

Recharge and Reboot: A well-rested mind is better equipped to handle high-pressure situations. Short breaks help reduce stress and increase creativity. Put “time management techniques for work” in your favorite search engine for suggestions on what method will work best for you. Set boundaries around longer breaks. For example, take your lunch period away from your workspace and do not check your work email. Set boundaries around work after normal business hours too. Emergencies happen, but be discerning. Someone’s poor planning is not your emergency. You have to protect yourself from burnout.

How do you manage time efficiently at your job? Please share in the comments.

Serve or Protect?

Some clients are a dream to work with, and others, well, not so much. You know the type: They are rarely satisfied with your work. They question every item on every invoice, then don’t pay until their second notice. They negotiate every project as a zero sum game. If this relationship is not a one-shot deal, then you have to keep losing in order to please them and that is unsustainable. Should you let this high-maintenance customer go?

The Problem

First, query your team and define all the ways this client makes trouble for you. Do any of the following sound familiar?

Communication: You need their input to deliver their custom solution, but they avoid participating in the process. They refuse to tell you how they want to receive communication then complain they missed an update. They expect immediate responses from you, but they ignore your questions. Their vague, last-minute changes disrupt your service to your other clients.

Deliverables: They scope creep by regularly asking you to do more work than you agreed to and they don’t want to amend your contract. They complain you don’t do enough for them even when the deliverables in the contract are met.

Payment: They question every invoice. They ask you to lower your fees. They chronically pay late.They have threatened to take their business elsewhere more than once.

The Assessment

Now that you know what the problem you are solving for is, determine how bad the problem is. What is the impact on these areas?

Finances: Are they a significant source of your income, or are they actually costing you money with their late payments, demands for discounts, and scope creep?

Resources: How much of your team’s time, energy, and attention does this client take? How many other clients could you serve if you reclaim those resources?

Stress: How much frustration do they cause you? How much do your coworkers worry about this particular client? How far does your team’s productivity drop when working on this customer’s projects?

The Preparation

If the negative impact has outweighed the benefits for at least one year, then it’s time to consider ending the relationship. How should you proceed?

Look at Your Data: Do a cost analysis. Over the course of the contract how much of your organization’s resources were spent on this customer? For every team member, note all the time spent on internal and external communication as well as the actual work on the project. What is the percentage of everyone’s total hours worked? Show these numbers broken down by team member in a report. This unsustainable loss is the main reason you can site for ending the relationship.

Review Your Contract: Understand the terms of your agreement, especially regarding termination. This will help you navigate the process legally and ethically.

Visualize Your Encounter: See yourself explaining to your client why you’re ending the relationship. You are confident. You are not angry. You are calmly and tactfully getting right to the point. You are stating how it’s in the best interest of both parties to go your separate ways. Now rehearse out loud what you’re going to say.

The Conversation

All the analysis and preparation has lead to this. What is the best way to break the news?

Schedule a Meeting: Arrange a time to speak with the client. Face-to-face is ideal, but a video chat can also work. You want to see as many of their nonverbals as possible.

Be Direct and Polite: Start by acknowledging the positive aspects of the relationship, then explain why it’s no longer working. For example, “I’ve enjoyed working with you over the past year, but I feel that our working styles and expectations are no longer aligned.”

Focus on the Business: Emphasize that the decision is based on what’s best for your business. Pull out that cost analysis you worked so hard on.

Offer Alternatives: Suggest other professionals who might be a better fit for the client’s needs. Before offering this, ask those other professionals if they are willing to meet with this client.

Keep it Professional: Stay calm and composed, even if the client reacts negatively. Avoid personal attacks and blame. Take a deep breath, settle your emotions, and focus on the process. Your goal is to end the relationship on as positive a note as far as it is up to you.

The Aftermath

The hardest part is over. What loose ends still need tied?

Wrap It Up: Send your now former client an email summarizing the conversation and confirming the termination of the relationship. Request immediate payment of their final invoice. If there are any remaining tasks, clarify who will handle them. If they seemed interested in your suggestions of other companies who may be a better fit for them, include their contact information.

Move Forward: Use this experience for process improvement. Now that you know where your team’s boundaries are, communicate them to potential clients from the beginning of the relationship. This will help you vet them. For example, if they complain to you about the company they work with, then expect them to complain about you when inevitable conflicts arise. When it’s time to draw up a contract, include details on expectations for communication, deliverables, deadlines, and firm payment terms.

Have you ever had to fire a client? Please share your experience in the comments.

High Pay Can Cost You

Welcome to the final article in our Toxic Traits series. In part one,
we asked what’s up with the toxicity-in-the-workplace trend. Part two
suggested what managers can do to mitigate its effects. Part three
explored how individual contributors can make workplaces less toxic. Now let’s talk about your wallet.

The allure of a high-paying job can be irresistible. You can have financial security. You can afford luxuries. You can climb up a rung or three on the social-status ladder. But those perks come with a hidden cost when the workplace environment is toxic.

The Pros

Stability: You can pay off debt, build savings, invest in property, and afford quality healthcare and education for both you and your family.

Comfort: You can upgrade your housing, travel more often, and participate in expensive hobbies.

Opportunities: Working in a high-stakes, high-paying environment offers valuable experience and visibility to leadership. These roles can be stepping stones to even more lucrative and prestigious positions within the organization.

The Cons

Stress: The constant negativity of a hostile work environment eventually destroys your productivity. Chronic stress leads to burnout, depression, and anxiety disorders. Stress also manifests physically through headaches, high blood pressure, diabetes, and/or a weakened immune system.

Balance: Toxic workplaces often demand excessive hours and emotional investment that erode the boundaries between your work and personal life. This imbalance strains relationships and reduces time available for self-care and fun.

Ethics: Working in a toxic environment may require you to compromise your principles. This creates internal conflict over moral dilemmas and reduces your self-esteem and professional integrity.

Only you can decide whether the financial benefits of a high-paying job in a toxic workplace are worth the negative impact. Some questions to ask yourself: How far will your resilience stretch? How long will these circumstances last? How patient will your support systems be?

Your Choice

The financial security and career advancement may outweigh the negative aspects, especially if you have effective coping mechanisms and strong external support. But do not underestimate the toll a toxic work environment takes on your mental and physical health, relationships, and overall happiness. The tipping point where toxicity outweighs financial compensation differs for everyone. Here are a few clues the job is no longer worth it.

Health: When your physical or mental health problems become obvious and unmanageable. When you always feel physically exhausted, mentally detached, and/or emotionally numb.

Relationships: When your personal relationships suffer significantly due to your work-related stress and unavailability.

Happiness: When the job requires compromising your values to the point where it affects your self-respect, you lose your sense of purpose, or the grind is relentless.

When You Can’t Leave Yet

If you depend on this job to pay your bills and can’t quit yet, recognize the signs of intolerable toxicity, evaluate your circumstances, and be proactive in mitigating its negative impacts.

Boundaries: Define, communicate, and maintain boundaries between your work life and your personal life to protect your time and relationships.

Cope: Lean on friends, family, and/or professional counselors to help you maintain both your mental and physical health. Relieve your stress through exercise, meditation, hobbies, or whatever self-care looks like for you.

Strategize: Invest in certifications that will open doors to better opportunities elsewhere. Attend networking events and connect with people who work in organizations you’d like to work for. Hire a career coach to help you prepare for your future. It’s good to have hope.

Have you ever worked in a toxic workplace because the job paid well? Was the compensation worth it? Please share in the comments.

Employees Engage

If you’re just joining us, we are in part 3 of 4 in our Toxic Traits series. So far, we’ve thought about why toxicity in the workplace seems to be on the rise and what managers can do to make the workplace less toxic.

Have you seen any Reels like these lately? Social media amplifies discussions about workplace issues, bringing visibility to toxic behaviors that used to be overlooked. While these videos make you laugh as well as feel seen, they don’t exactly help you solve your toxicity problem. Through collaboration, inclusivity, communication, and mutual respect you can help transform your workplace into an environment where both employer and employees thrive. This solution seems simple, but it’s not easy. So, what can employees do to make your workplace less toxic?

Communicate Effectively: Interact respectfully with colleagues and supervisors. Commit to constructive communication and use the appropriate medium. For example: When you feel like someone belittled your idea in a reply-all email, instead of immediately defending your position, reply all with, “I’d like to learn more. I’ll set up a call for you and I to go deeper.” Showing curiosity in their input signals you have an open mind. Pulling the issue out of the group email demonstrates emotional intelligence. By the way, keeping your mind open does not mean you have to change it.

Support Peers: Foster a collaborative atmosphere by helping your teammates. For example: When someone new joins your team, think about what you wish you’d known when you were in their shoes. Are there certain reference documents in the shared drive they should know about? Does the team take turns buying coffee? Offer to be available to answer their questions.

Engage Constructively: Participate positively in meetings to build a sense of community. For example: When your weekly check-ins start off with what went wrong, call out a teammate who helped make it right.

Manage Stress: Practice self-care to maintain personal well-being. Establish and maintain healthy boundaries around time spent on work. For example: When you receive a work email during Jeopardy! do NOT reply.

Report Issues: Speak up about toxic behaviors using appropriate channels. For example: When you repeatedly get left out of emails containing information pertinent to your responsibilities on the project, get face time with the source and ask them to add you to the thread. You do not have to be confrontational. Concentrate on the call to action. You can say, “Will you please add me to the email list for the project? It has come to my attention I need that information to complete my part of it. I can wait while you do that right now.”

Help Others: Embrace opportunities to stay engaged. For example: When your marketing department needs an extra hand hosting a table at an event your organization is sponsoring, volunteer to help. This gives you insight into another department, feedback on how your work contributes to your organization’s brand, and a networking opportunity.

Both employers and employees have crucial roles to play in growing a healthy workplace culture. It takes perseverance, but working together will decrease toxicity, increase productivity, and promote overall well-being for everyone in the organization.

Have you ever worked in a toxic workplace? What did you do to make it less toxic? Please share in the comments.

All the Feels

Does your workplace feel more toxic lately? Behavior once normalized or ignored is now being challenged and more openly addressed. Is there really more recognition and willingness to confront existing issues? Or have additional pressures and rapid changes in modern work environments actually increased their toxicity?

What Is Going On?

The stressors COVID-19 introduced, like remote work challenges and layoffs, heightened feelings of toxicity. Since the end of the pandemic, lots of other factors have surfaced. For example, the accelerated pace of digital transformation, heavier workloads due to short staffing, and a greater emphasis on productivity. Societal issues like economic instability, Artificial Intelligence advancements, and disagreements over national and local politics add to a workplace’s toxicity. The expanding gig economy introduces new stressors, like job insecurity and isolation, which can worsen feelings of toxicity.

Are Workplaces Inherently Toxic?

No, but certain conditions can foster toxicity if left unchecked. The nature of a workplace depends on its culture, management, and habits. Toxicity comes from a combination of ingredients like poor leadership, lack of clear communication, unrealistic expectations, the absence of support systems, and unaddressed conflicts. A workplace culture that rewards open communication, values employee well-being, and practices mutual respect is less likely to be toxic. On the other hand, a highly competitive culture that prioritizes results over well-being can breed toxicity if not managed properly.

How Can You Tell?

High Turnover: A constant influx and outflow of employees suggests dissatisfaction and a problematic workplace culture. For example: Have 28% of your new coworkers left within the first 90 days of their employment?

Low Engagement: Disinterest, lack of self-motivation, cynicism, and minimal participation in workplace activities are red flags. For example: How many people actually showed up for the annual company picnic last year?

Poor Communication: Ineffective communication channels, lack of transparency, and withheld information contribute to mistrust and confusion leading to frequent misunderstandings among team members. For example, in the last week, how many meetings that should have been emails did you attend?

Work-Life Imbalance: Excessive overtime, unrealistic deadlines, and constant pressure lead to stress and burnout. For example: When you ask your manager when a project is due is their standard answer, “Yesterday.”?

Negative Interactions: Bullying, gossip, and cliques create a hostile and divisive atmosphere. Any form of prejudice or harassment, whether subtle or overt, contributes significantly to toxicity. For example: When you go to the break room and your manager is in a whispered conversation with your coworker, do they look at you with startled expressions, stop talking, and leave the room.

Unfair Practices: Favoritism, discrimination, and unequal treatment undermine morale and trust. For example: Are the ideas you suggest in meetings frequently ignored, then a few minutes later someone else presents your idea as their own and it’s considered brilliant?

Micro Managers: Excessive control by supervisors and lack of employee autonomy stifle creativity, lead to resentment, and reduce job satisfaction. For example, if your manager is in the office, do you have to be in the office too?

Both employers and employees have a responsibility to make sure their work environments do not turn toxic. Next week in part two of this series, Toxic Traits, we’ll talk about how employers can ensure a healthy workplace.

Were you ever employed in a toxic workplace? What was your first hint that the culture was toxic? Please share in the comments.

Emotional Granularity

You’ve probably heard the advice that when you feel nervous, like before a presentation, you should tell yourself that you are not nervous, you are excited. By doing this, you turn the negative emotion into a positive one.

You’ve probably sat behind your computer trying to solve a difficult problem and suddenly your body feels like it ran a marathon. You think, “What is wrong with me? All I’ve done for the last hour is sit here and I’m exhausted.” When you feel frustrated, it’s not always because something is wrong, it may be because something is emotionally hard.

There is neuroscience behind these mindsets. For the health of your brain, as well as the rest of your body, take your process for dealing with your fight, flight, or freeze response a step further and recategorize stressful emotions.

What Is Emotional Granularity?

The next level of emotional intelligence is emotional granularity. It is the ability to precisely label your emotions at the time you are having them. This is a coping mechanism that helps you be more spontaneously resilient during a stressful situation. When you can recognize an emotion and label it, you can regulate it. You gain more control over the outcome of the situation you’re in at the time you are in it. While you can’t stop feeling emotions, you can decide how to act on them to create the results that most benefit you.

How Can You Use It?

You probably mentally place the label “negative” on the emotions you perceive as unpleasant. But emotions are neither positive nor negative. Emotions are electrical impulses in your brain signaling that what you’re experiencing is something you care about. For example, let’s say you are gearing up for your annual job performance review and you are dreading it. What would happen if you told yourself you feel determination instead of dread? You would be able to change your reality. You would prepare differently. If you dread, then maybe you avoid preparing for the review until the last minute because you don’t like the way it makes you feel. If you recategorize dread as determination, then as soon as your review date is scheduled, you pull out your Atta Baby file and revisit all the goals you met during the last year as well as the praise you received for your job performance. Now you have the documentation to remind the organization of your value. Now you have the confidence to prove your worth. Now that emotion is a force driving you to a more positive outcome.

Why Should You?

When you are in a situation that makes you feel anxious, your body is trying to tell you something. Instead of making a snap decision, stop and ask yourself why you feel the way you do. Paying attention to those feelings and getting curious about what is causing them gives you options for how to deal with them. The discomfort is rolling around in your brain anyway. You may as well catch the emotion, unravel it, and make it work for you.

How do you reframe your unpleasant emotions? Please share in the comments.