Holiday – mardihumphreys.com

Energy to Give

We have officially entered the season of giving. As we prepare for the end-of-the-year holidays, for the next four weeks, Let’s talk about a mindset of generosity and how it can positively impact your T.E.A.M. at work.

Generosity at work is a game changer. Not only does it create a synergistic environment that enhances productivity, but it also elevates your own job performance and brand. Whether you’re working on a team project, collaborating across departments, or sharing your subject matter expertise, supporting your coworkers pays dividends. But what does that look like?

Short-Term Challenge

Let’s say you’re part of a team project where deadlines are tight, and tensions are high. Even though your workload is heavy, you can’t help noticing your newly hired teammate struggling to complete their part of the project. You pause what you’re doing and offer to help them get unstuck. You listen as they explain their challenge. You ask a few insightful questions. You help them figure out for themselves what their next step is and you both move on with your own work. Your support not only empowered them to succeed but also reinforced your leadership skills. You demonstrated empathy, initiative, and emotional intelligence; all key traits of effective leaders. These traits enhance your ability to influence without authority, a crucial skill in any workplace. Plus, the rest of your team watched what you did. This simple act of generosity has a ripple effect. You created a sense of camaraderie that will improve morale, encourage a more positive work environment, and strengthen your team’s relationships. Let’s break down what you did and analyze its long-term benefits.

Long-Term Benefit

Trust: When supporting your colleagues is your normal behavior, you become a go-to person. You train your coworkers to rely on you. As you help others grow, you solidify your reputation as a valuable team player. This trust translates into getting more work done faster. By helping your coworkers, you not only improve their chances of success but also boost your own role, develop essential skills, and create a more productive workplace.

Communication: Trust encourages open dialogue. When team members feel supported, they’re more likely to communicate openly. This both reduces misunderstandings and streamlines processes. Trust decreases the whole team’s stress levels, increases job satisfaction, and contributes to a problem-solving work culture. When you help someone overcome a challenge, it not only feels good but also develops a sense of community.

Future: It is only a matter of time until you get stuck. Helping others now paves the way for asking for help later. When you invest in your colleagues’ success, they’re more inclined to return the favor when you need it. Strong networks and partners are invaluable for future projects. Imagine stepping into January with teammates who are not just coworkers but allies. People who understand your work style and appreciate your contributions. You set a cooperative tone that can propel projects forward from their beginning.

How does generously giving your energy now shape your team’s future success? Please share in the comments

Love Local

This Valentine’s Day the news about Mikesell’s is a heart-breaking reminder to support your local small businesses. If an organization that has operated for over 110 years can close, then every local business is in danger. Here are three reasons why you should spend your hard-earned money locally.

Your Money Stays Here

In 2019, 47.3 percent of employees in the United States worked for small businesses. It’s likely you know someone who works for one: your next-door neighbor the landscaper, your nephew the HVAC apprentice, your friend the bookkeeper. By using their services, you keep your money in your community. You have much more influence locally than you have globally. Big box stores often get tax breaks from local governments that local small businesses do not receive. When you vote with your wallet by choosing to purchase local over big box stores, it is a statement of your values. Small businesses competing with one another prompts innovation and lower prices. This is why I like to frequent several local coffeeshops. (Okay, it is ONE of the reasons I spend so much money in local coffeeshops.) The sales tax from small businesses stays in your community. This money goes to pay for things like public schools, fire departments, and libraries. Local small businesses tend to transact with other local small businesses keeping even more money flowing through your local economy.

You Help People Make a Living

Sure, you can pick up Chipotle for lunch, but what about that Mom and Pop Mexican food restaurant down the street? Chipotle is not going anywhere, but every day Mom and Pop are struggling to stay in business. Some small businesses sell products that are locally made. The closer the product is to the place where it is sold, the less transportation it takes to get it there. This reduces the amount of fuel needed and saves the seller money. It also reduces the amount of emissions in the air making the environment more safe for everyone. Buying local allows more of your neighbors to make a living. That Mom and Pop Mexican food restaurant hires local residents as managers, servers, cooks, etc. Does your city have a farmer’s market? The space, products, and artisans are all local. Local small businesses positively impact your local economy in multiple ways throughout your community.

You Create Community

The more invested you are in a community, the more concerned you are about all of its citizens. Their welfare and future are tied to yours. Local small businesses are famous for supporting nonprofits. According to businessjournaldaily.com, small businesses donate 250% more than large businesses to community causes. Small local businesses sponsor kids’ sports clubs, food banks, and job-seekers programs. It’s likely that you can name several local small businesses that support the same nonprofits you do.

Valentine’s Day is the perfect occasion to show some love to your local small businesses. What are some of your favorites? Please give them a shoutout in the comments.

The Most Expensive Gift You Can Give

Are you panicking because you have yet to come up with a gift for your hard-to-buy-for person that won’t bust your budget? Fear not: for behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all stressed out people. Here are 25 gift ideas that cost more time than money.

Bake cookies – It’s not about the cookies. It’s about spending time together. If you don’t want to make the cookies, then clean up the kitchen afterward. If you don’t want to eat the cookies, drop them off at your local police station, firehouse, or emergency department in appreciation to your first responders
Free labor – Does someone need help painting their living room? Moving to a new residence? Rearranging furniture? Print a gift certificate offering help
Christmas movie marathon – Choose your favorites and watch together. Yes, Die Hard is a Christmas movie
Cooking class – If someone loves to eat a certain meal of yours, take all the ingredients to their kitchen and teach them how to make it
Parades and football all day – Take turns explaining why you think these activities happen on a holiday
Video game tournament – Teach someone how to play your favorite or learn how to play theirs
Love notes – For those whose love language is words of affirmation, write them a paragraph explaining what you love about them
Skill share – You are proficient in Excel, but can’t trim your dog’s toenails. Your brother needs an Excel primer and can trim doggy toenails. Trade tutorials
Brand refresh – Audit their website, proofread their resume, tell them what you like about their LinkedIn profile and what could be improved
Go for a walk/hike – If the weather does not currently permit, issue them an IOU
Holiday lights – Map out a route, take along some hot chocolate and maybe the dog, and drive through local light displays
Volunteer together – Your church and local food bank always need help
Online yoga class – Turn on YouTube and search for “twenty-minute yoga for beginners”
Scavenger hunt – Think Easter egg hunt but with candy canes
Video tribute – Are you good with iMovie or a similar platform? String together some of their favorite photos and set them to music
Playlists – On the music-streaming platform of your choice
Museum visit plan – Some museums are free and some are free on certain days. Spend some time brainstorming where you’d like to go and when
Start learning a language together – set up a schedule to practice with one another
Sit – Create a gift certificate for a few hours of baby, pet, or house-sitting
Photographer – Intentionally document this year’s celebration and send the photos to everyone
Pre-celebration service – Help the host clean house before guests arrive. Or, take their car for a wash and vacuum before their holiday trip
Outdoor service – Create a gift certificate for shoveling the snow off their driveway and sidewalk after the next accumulation
Something to look forward to – Schedule a future 1:1. Coffee date? Church date? Ice Cream date?
Storage – Offer to scan their printed photos and save them on a USB
Give it away – Create a gift certificate to help clean out their closets. After the purge, take the donations to a Goodwill or Salvation Army store and bring back a receipt for their tax purposes

The most expensive gift you can give is your time. You can make more money, but you can’t make more time. Please spend yours wisely. Thank you for the time you spent reading this article. Happy Holidays!

Something’s Burning

Last month we talked about burnout and how, as employees, we can both recognize and minimize it. On the other side of the organization, what can employers do to help extinguish burnout?

Why is Burnout the Employer’s Problem?

Because employees who burn out quit their jobs and replacing them is expensive. In their 2020 Recruiter Nation Survey, Jobvite found that retention is the second highest recruiting priority according to the HR professionals who participated. And according to Legaljobs, 45% of employees in the United States are job hunting. Turnover can cost an employer up to one-third of an employee’s annual salary due to lost productivity as well as recruiting efforts.

What Can Employers Do About It?

Set Reasonable Boundaries – For example, if you send emails at 7:46PM on weeknights, texts at 9:12PM on Saturdays, and/or direct messages at 6:12AM on Independence Day, then you are assigning someone a task. A valuable employee is at least going to stop what they are doing and reply no matter how many times you type, “No rush.” Even if you don’t expect the employee to do anything about your request at the time, you are still imposing a mental load on them. Now they have to remember to remind you of the thing you wanted them to do when you contacted them outside of normal work hours. Establish rules around communication. Include acceptable hours, expected response times, and appropriate modes. For example, if there is an emergency requiring their attention outside of normal work hours, then you will call them instead of email or text. Reiterate these boundaries once a quarter. BTW, most email platforms have a feature that allows you to send your message during someone’s normal business hours. Please use it.

Reevaluate Productivity Goals – Are pre-COVID KPIs still in place? Should they be? How reasonable are they? The workforce is moving toward a productivity model where job performance can no longer be measured by when, where, or how many hours employees work. Consider normalizing flexibility. For example, in performance reviews commend the employee for taking their earned PTO instead of praising them for perfect attendance. Best Practice: Leadership models taking time off, flexible work environments, and/or remote work days.

Communicate – Listen with empathy to your team on a regular basis. Can you set up in-person office hours or a virtual coffee once a week to bond with your team? Find common ground. Support and encourage self-care and mental health. Record a 30 second video on your company’s instant messaging platform and send it (during normal hours, please!) to your direct reports. Remind them that the intense project they’re working on will get done more efficiently if they rest their brains for a few minutes every hour. In 1:1 meetings, invite employees to discuss challenges outside of the job that are negatively affecting their ability to work. Is the solution something the company can provide as part of their benefits package?

As we approach the holidays, I hope both employers and employees get some rest from their work. Maybe in front of a roaring fire in your fireplace or, like me, a fireplace online. Please let those embers be the only burnout you allow.

As a manager, what strategies do you use to ease employee burnout? Please share in the comments.

Booked

Thinking about doing some reading while you wait for delayed flights or relatives to wake up from post-holiday-meal naps? Here are some books about T.E.A.M. that I thought were worth mine.

Time

The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho – Translated from Portuguese, this hero’s journey is a brief, unapologetic fable. My biggest take away is: Omens are everywhere. When I think I’ve spotted one, I should stop and reflect on how it may direct my decision making.

The Anthropocene Reviewed by John Green – Born from his podcast, the theme of these essays is the impact of people’s behavior on our current geological age. His topics include everything from “Humanity’s Temporal Range” to “Diet Dr Pepper.”

My Mrs. Brown by William Norwich – Another hero’s journey, this novel offers lovely prose, a depiction of women of a certain age, and characters we are surrounded by every day, but don’t consider their life stories. This is a great tale for goal-setters.

Energy

Designing Your Life by Bill Burnett and Dave Evans – Tools, processes, and insight on how to get from where you are to where you want to be. The authors present systems you can implement to make decisions about your work, relationships, goals, etc., no matter what stage of life you’re in.

The Extended Mind by Annie Murphy Paul – Science-based research on why we need to get out of our heads when problem-solving. Presented in narrative form, it’s a validating read for knowledge workers.

High Conflict by Amanda Ripley – When we have a disagreement with someone, conflict becomes an additional adversary to battle. Engaging examples of people who believed the enemy of my enemy is my friend, identified conflict as the enemy, and worked together to defeat it.

Attention

The One Thing by Gary Keller and Jay Papasan – If you haven’t read many productivity books or you need a refresher on the basics of making wise choices, you’ll like this book. If you read Stephen Covey, Charles Duhigg, and/or James Clear, etc., then you will probably not be impressed. It’s short, so you could finish it on a cross-country flight.

Atlas of the Heart by Brené Brown – Read this before your holiday get-togethers and keep it handy for reference. It should be on your bookshelf right next to your dictionary and thesaurus. Brown identifies 87 emotions, why they affect relationships, and how you can navigate them to achieve connection.

The Art of Gathering by Priya Parker – This is the cure for meetings that should have been emails. Also, it will help you create more meaningful holiday gatherings.

Money

The Ultimate Retirement Guide for 50+ by Suze Orman – The author speaks plainly and with empathy. Preparing for retirement can be confusing and scary and this book helps you move forward with more confidence.

Never Too Old to Get Rich by Kerry E. Hannon – In 2021, the average age of successful startup founders was 45. If you think you are too old to start your own business, read this book and think again.

Know Your Value by Mika Brzezinski – The author chronicles her journey to get the appropriate recognition and compensation for her work. She also interviewed women in a variety of industries and reports their experiences too.

What are you reading? Please share in the comments.

P.S. I occasionally post on Saturdays what I’m reading that weekend. Please follow me on Facebook and and contribute to the conversation!

Ho Ho Hold Up

Back in October we saw jack-o-lanterns, cornucopias, and reindeer all sitting together on store shelves. Now that shipping is better, the supply chain is bringing us too many goodies too fast and we feel the fourth quarter holidays all running together. Maybe we should embrace it and create a new holiday: Hallothankmas. It’s not just the holidays that are accelerating. Threat actors are too. Cyber criminals are lying in wait for unsuspecting shoppers who give out their Personally Identifiable Information (PII) faster than mall Santas give out candy canes. If you’re shopping online this holiday season, here are four things you can you do to protect yourself.

Know Where You Are

The number of phony websites increases this time of year. Before entering any payment information, double check the URL you’re using. Is the name of the company spelled correctly? Does it have extra words that you didn’t expect? When you go to the payment page, Is the lock symbol and “https” in the URL?

Legitimate Forms of Payment

Do they want you to pay with cryptocurrency, gift cards, or a wire transfer? These are all untraceable methods of payment. Once you complete a transaction with those forms of payment, you can’t get your money back. Insisting on these ways to pay is a clue that the retailer is a fraud. A scammer reached out to me recently and I had to laugh. I received an email allegedly from my boss instructing me to go out and buy 10 gift cards then reply to the email for further instructions. How did I know it was a scam? I no longer worked for that boss.

You Are a Target

You are bombarded by targeted ads following you from Instagram to Facebook and all platforms in between. Some of those ads are from disreputable companies whose branding tempts you with hard-to-believe deals on popular merchandise. Do not click on those. This is not the time to try an unknown retailer. Some of these companies are selling knock-offs and some aren’t selling anything. They collect your PII and money and send you nothing. If you are tempted, read reviews of both the item you want to purchase and the company. If there are no reviews, or few, or they are all glowing, skip this seller.

Pay Attention

Things tend to get busier this time of year. You may forget to check your accounts as often as usual. Cyber criminals are counting on that. If you have increased your online shopping, then check your accounts more often through the end of the year. If you see any transactions that you don’t recognize, can’t find an emailed receipt for, or the transaction is for an odd amount (e.g., .99¢), contact your financial institution immediately.

Hallowthankmas can be dangerous for your wallet on a few levels. It’s the season of giving, but that does not include giving away your money or PII. You can keep your guard up where finances are concerned while still letting it down for friends and family.

Do you take extra precautions at this time of year to protect your financial accounts? What are they? Please share in the comments.

Passed Examples

The Sunday after Labor Day is Grandparents Day in America. This resonates with me because as I was growing up all of my grandparents worked. From birth to age thirteen, I had four grandparents. One set of maternal and one set of fraternal. The two sets were very different from one another.

Stoic vs. Emotional
Never went to church vs. Went to church every time the doors were open
Mail carrier and former U.S. Army Air Corp captain married to a children’s librarian turned bank employee vs. Factory worker and former marine married to a waitress turned factory worker
One set paid for my freshman year of college vs. One set invited me to do my laundry at their house every week
Lawrence Welk vs. Hee-Haw

Grandparents have seen more of society’s evolution, experienced more heartache, strived more to make ends meet, and learned more lessons on setting priorities. Here are things I learned about work from my grandparents.

Sometimes Your Job is Just a Job

When I was a child, my maternal grandfather worked at a car manufacturing plant. He did not talk a lot about his job. He did not love his job. He did not expect it to be his calling. He worked so his family had food, clothing, shelter, and fun. He found his greatest fulfillment in God. His love of the Bible, his church, and its people was his calling. It is where he invested his T.E.A.M. From him I learned that work can simply be a means to an end.

People Come First

When I was a child, my maternal grandmother was employed at the same car manufacturing plant as my maternal grandfather. My fraternal grandmother worked at a bank. On occasion, both babysat me when my school was on a break and my parents were at work. I remember watching television at my maternal grandparents’ house while my grandmother cooked and did laundry because for her a day off from the factory meant a day working at home. I also remember going to the local bank with my fraternal grandmother with a tote bag full of snacks, books, and seek-and-find word puzzles to keep me busy in the break room while she did her job. (This was waaaaaay before Bring Your Child to Work Day.) Both women found ways to help my parents watch over me. From them I learned helping people takes priority over work.

The Correct Way to Cut a Pie

When I was a child, my fraternal grandfather was a mail carrier. Before I was born, he was a POW during WWII for 11 months. During that time, food was scarce for him. When my parents and I spent Thanksgivings with my fraternal grandparents, my grandmother always made two pumpkin pies for the five of us. My grandfather got one all to himself. After dinner, he settled in front of the television with his pie to watch football and say, “There’s only one way to cut a pie. In half. One for the first half and one for the second half.” From him I learned to reward myself for putting in the work.

What did you learn about work from your grandparents? Please share in the comments.

Setting the Standards

If your husband is also a father, do you get him a gift for Father’s Day? Why do we lump husband and father together? The roles are very different. Here’s what I’m thinking.

Criteria for Husbands

Be a friend – Your wife should be the first person who hears your breaking news, whether good or bad. You are the person your wife should be able to trust the most, so keep her secrets. Everyone has faults, and your wife is probably painfully aware of hers, so resist pointing them out.

No wife jokes – Like these. I propose the traditional marriage vows be amended to say, “to love, cherish, and respect until parted by death.”

Ride or die – You and your wife are a team. Your first loyalty is to her for better for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, yada, yada, yada.

Responsible – Do what you say you’re going to do. If you tell her you’re going to mow the lawn today, do it. If you change your mind, tell her.

Unselfish – Put your wife’s needs ahead of your own. Has she worked overtime this week? Then suggest she stay home from your company softball game tonight.

Affection – This isn’t necessarily public displays of physical affection or mushy social media posts. It can be as simple as letting her know you’re paying attention. For example, my husband doesn’t usually tell me when he’s read something I wrote. After I published this he bought me a coffee mug. I thanked him and mentioned that it matched the article’s specifications. In his best Han Solo imitation, he said, “I know.” I not only love the mug, (and him!) but I also love knowing that he read something I wrote.

Communication – Disagreements are a given, but fights don’t have to be. It helps to remember that it is the two of you against the challenge not the two of you against each other. Even when the challenge is your wife, speaking the truth in love will resolve an issue faster.

BTW, You should expect these same considerations from your wife.

Criteria for Fathers

Physical security – You contribute to the provision of food, clothing, and shelter.

Emotional safety – You enforce the rules. When you show your children where their boundaries are, it instills confidence in them. Kids want to make dad proud and now they know how.

Relationship role model – If you are loving and kind, then your children will seek those qualities in the people they choose to allow into their lives. Their behavior in their relationships will also be loving and kind because they saw their father model it.

Unconditional love – Consistently reassuring your children that you will love them no matter what gives your kids peace of mind.

Proactive parenting – You are raising your children to be adults capable of functioning without you. You plan your time with them to achieve that goal.

Present and involved – You set aside time (and your phone, and your laptop, etc.) to focus on your children and what they are interested in and/or struggling with.

Respects the mother – Whether you live with your children and their mother or not, you present a united front with her. You keep your disagreements between the two of you and resolve them in private.

Do you agree with these theories? What did I get wrong or forget to mention? Please share in the comments.

Don’t Press Your Luck

St. Patrick’s Day is this week and while you’re deciding whether or not you have a green shirt appropriate for work, thieves are working to steal the pot of gold you plan to get back from the federal government. It’s time to file your taxes and scammers are looking for ways to get their hands on your refund. Some of the most common scams involve stealing your identity. Here are three you should be aware of.

Tax Refund Fraud

You submit your tax return online. You receive a notification that your taxes have already been filed and the refund paid. A scammer has filed a tax return pretending to be you and stolen your refund. That isn’t the only thing they’ve stolen. They have to have your Personally Identifiable Information (PII) to file a tax return; specifically, your name, Social Security number and birthdate. This means they’ve stolen you identity too. To prevent this, keep your PII both secret and secured. It’s also a wise choice to file your taxes as soon as you receive all the necessary documents, like W-2s, 1099s, etc. Here is a checklist.

IRS Imposter

You receive a call from someone who presents themselves as an official. They say you owe unpaid taxes. You want to both act with integrity and stay out of trouble, so you’re inclined to answer their invasive questions about your PII. Right now you may be thinking, “This is old news. Fraudsters have been doing this for years.” And you’d be right. But if you see the words Internal Revenue Service (IRS) on your caller ID, it makes the scam seem legitimate, doesn’t it? Scammers get more sophisticated every year and experienced ones use spoofing to disguise themselves. To prevent this, remember that the IRS does not contact you through a phone call, text, email, or social media. If they want to get ahold of you they will snail mail you a letter. If you want to double check after receiving a communication other than a letter, call them at (800) 829-1040 and tell them what happened.

Stolen Unemployment Benefits

You lost your job thanks to COVID-19 and received unemployment benefits from your state in 2021. That money is taxable by the federal government. You received an IRS Form 1099-G. Box 1 on this form lists an amount of money you did not receive, or the amount listed is more than you received, or you did not apply for unemployment benefits from the state that sent you the form. A criminal has stolen your identity and used it to file for unemployment benefits. To prevent this, if you receive a text message or email from someone claiming to be from a state workforce agency and it contains a link to a website, do not click on the link. The message is from a scammer who is trying to trick you into going to their fake website. They want you to think that you’re applying for unemployment benefits on this site, but what you’re really doing is giving them the PII they need to steal your identity. If you receive a text or email like that, report it here.

Here is a longer list of current tax scams the IRS is keeping an eye on. What do you do to protect yourself from tax fraud? Please share in the comments.

Habilitation vs Rehabilitation

I intended to resume lifting you up this week with warm, fuzzy, holiday-ish articles, but I tripped over reality.

It started with a ride along. I accompanied an officer of the Dayton Police Department’s 3rd District West Patrol Operations on part of his tour of duty. You can do it too, if you want. Here’s how. Yes, I saw some citizens exhibiting some questionable behavior. But more significantly, I saw police officers acting as peace officers. For example, we responded to a call about a young man with special needs refusing to enter the house of his foster mom. I watched two grown men ooh and aah over this youngster’s prowess with a remote control car in her driveway. Then they asked him what toys he’d like to show us in the house. The woman said she told the young man that the Dayton Police were good, helpful people and these officers proved her right. Recent events have spotlighted the need for improvement in the Dayton Police Department. Please know these two officers (and other good and helpful men and women like them) are on the force.

The next day I had the privilege of being immersed in the Montgomery County, Ohio justice system as part of the Dayton Area Chamber of Commerce’s Leadership Dayton program. Our host warned us that we would end the day with more questions than answers. He was right. Here are three of my take aways.

Do we expect too much from our justice system?

In 2021, the state of Ohio has 50,338 people in its prisons. Do they all deserve to be there? Judges are the ones who decide. There are judges in Montgomery County who routinely see under-resourced defendants with high odds of recidivism. These judges intentionally give those defendants dignity and respect in their courtrooms in an effort to keep them out of jail cells. They use their experience, discretion, and time to filter defendants who are willing to work for a second chance through diversion programs like those offered by the Montgomery County Office of Reentry. They strive to be right on crime, not tough on crime.

Is there an alternative to incarceration?

What if everyone had a second chance and someone to believe in them? Graduates of Montgomery County’s Reentry Career Alliance Academy (RCAA) have a less than five percent recidivism rate post-program. In practical terms, it costs $30,558 a year to incarcerate someone in the state of Ohio. What if that citizen were making that much money and paying taxes on it instead?

Do you need workforce?

Have you (or will you) consider hiring a Returning Citizen? Graduates of the RCAA program work in restaurants, churches, and non-profits, and many other industries. Can you give a Restored Citizen the hope of a second chance at being a functioning and productive member of society? Hey, look at that. Hope. Isn’t that what the holidays are about? It seems this is a holiday-ish post after all.

What do you think of Restored Citizens in the workforce? Please share in the comments.