Communication – Page 2 – mardihumphreys.com

Bad Blood

This is part two of four in the series: Independently Owned and Operated.

Disagreement over project management, differences in communication styles, and defensive personalities impact people, processes, and profits. When you let go of minor clashes with coworkers you prevent negative energy from impeding productivity for the entire team. But what do you do when you have ongoing conflict with a coworker?

Flip the Script

Conflict is inevitable in any workplace and it’s not always bad. If you expect it, then you are ready to do your part to constructively resolve it. Frame conflict in your mind as a learning opportunity. One of your most powerful tools to disrupt destructive patterns of conflict is active listening. When a conflict sparks, emotions run high, and communication breaks down. By actively listening to your teammate (make eye contact, nod in acknowledgment, paraphrase what you heard, and say it back to them) you demonstrate empathy and a genuine desire to understand their perspective. This not only ensures clarity, it also deescalates emotion. Take ownership of your part in the conflict. This is not an admission of guilt. It’s a declaration of empowerment. It demonstrates you have agency to shape the outcome. After actively listening to your coworker’s position, communicate your position in 30 seconds or less. Use “I” statements to avoid sounding accusatory. For example, say “I feel frustrated when…” instead of “You always do…” Receive their feedback as objectively as possible.

Walk a Mile

Put yourself in your teammate’s shoes. What is driving their behavior? What do they have at stake? Understanding their motivation helps you find common ground. Conflict resolution is not about winning or losing. It’s about working together to move forward. Acknowledge, assume, and appreciate that you both want the best solution to the conflict. If they did not care, then there would not be conflict so get curious. Is it possible to collaborate for a win-win outcome? Can merging your different perspectives address the root cause of your on-going conflict? It’s likely the solution you reach together will be stronger than a solution either of you will achieve on your own.

Recruit a Referee

You may not be able to resolve on-going conflict on your own. When it seems insurmountable, it’s time to bring in a neutral third party, like your manager or someone from HR. Ask them to facilitate a structured conversation. This needs to be a safe space for open communication and a confidential discussion. Do not jump to conclusions or assign blame. Do acknowledge your part in the situation and ask for honest feedback. The third party is removed from the emotion of the conflict and they have a higher-level view of it than both you and your teammate. This, combined with their experience, enables them to give you new ideas for resolution.

Continuous Improvement

Every conflict offers opportunity for personal and professional growth. Make time to reflect on the conflict resolution process. What worked well? What could be improved? What do you wish you’d done or said? What do you wish you had not done or said? Use each experience to refine your skills. Conflicts don’t have to be roadblocks. You can make them stepping stones to success.

Are you in conflict with a coworker? How are you working through it? Please share in the comments.

Working 5 to 9

If you received an inheritance, have passive income, or won the Powerball, yay you! But plenty of people seek additional employment to pay bills. Whether you refer to it as a side hustle, moonlighting, or a gig, as of April 2023, 39 % of Americans have one. Why do employees work side gigs? Why are employers concerned when an employee has one? What can both do to alleviate those concerns?

Why Employees Work Side Gigs

Finances – The cost of living keeps going up and as of March 2023, only 87 % of full-time private industry workers had access to medical care benefits. Self-funding health insurance, retirement, upskilling, etc., may not be possible with income from one full-time job.

Passion – The gig economy offers possibilities for personal growth. For example, maybe you are a teacher who loves baking and you have a side hustle making special occasion cakes. Experiments combining flavors and coming up with original designs is a creative outlet.

Development – A side gig is an opportunity to develop additional skills. For example, maybe you are a software developer who loves writing and you have a side hustle blogging for a website. Sharing your knowledge can establish you as a subject matter expert.

Why Employers Get Concerned

Conflict – An employee may end up working on projects that directly compete with yours. This results in divided loyalty and compromises the employee’s ability to prioritize and dedicate their full attention to the work they do for you. There is a risk that the knowledge, skills, or innovations they gained working for you could contribute to a competitor’s success.

Liability – If an employee’s side gig is in a similar industry or involves activities that could potentially harm the company’s reputation, you may be responsible for any consequences including financial repercussions.

Productivity – Employees with side hustles may find themselves stretched thin, leading to a decline in overall job satisfaction and eventually burnout. Side gigs may create tension among team members, especially if some employees feel burdened with extra responsibilities or perceive others as not fully committed to the team’s goals. This makes retaining your employees difficult.

How Both Can Come Together

Communicate – Employers should establish clear boundaries and written guidelines to ensure side gigs do not interfere with job responsibilities, deadlines, or the cohesion of the team. This will help maintain trust and prevent misunderstandings. Speaking openly of the side gig in regular check-in meetings promotes accountability.

Motivate – Employers can reap certain advantages from employees with side gigs. So, it’s crucial employers understand why their employee has one. Employees actively pursuing their passions outside of work find renewed inspiration and creativity. This positively impacts their job performance and helps employers retain a diverse and engaged workforce.

Innovate – Employers can embrace the concept of “intrapreneurship.” When employees channel their entrepreneurial spirit within the organization, employers can grow a dynamic and forward-thinking workplace culture. Employees with side gigs often bring new skills and experiences to their primary roles, fostering an environment of innovation and adaptability within the workplace.

Employers have legitimate reservations about their workforce engaging in side gigs. It’s essential to recognize that not all side gigs pose a threat to the employer-employee relationship. The nature of work evolves daily and business moves at the speed of trust. Tools like communication, empathy, and flexibility are necessary to help your organization thrive.

Do you have both a full-time job and a side gig? How do you make that work? Please share in the comments.

Genuine Connection

One of the most valuable resources for your professional growth is the wisdom and experience of Subject Matter Experts (SME). But approaching them requires respect and authenticity. A cold email with Can I Pick Your Brain? as the subject line makes you look lazy right off the bat. Let’s explore a strategic framework for reaching out that will lead to meaningful interactions and genuine connections.

Propose

Both you and the SME know you are asking them for a favor, so acknowledge that upfront with politeness and in-advance gratitude. For example, instead of using Can I pick your brain? as the subject line, substitute it with May I Learn from Your Experience? or May I Have Your Perspective? Then immediately after the greeting, clearly articulate why you’re reaching out. What specific insights do you want and why do you think this person can give them to you? Are you navigating a challenging project? Do you need to understand industry trends? Are you seeking career guidance? Describe their expertise that prompted you to reach out, then state what you will bring to the interaction. Emphasize the mutual benefits of connecting. For example, you can publish a post about what you learn from your conversation with them on your social media platforms and tag them. By framing the discussion as a two-way street, you position yourself as someone who values collaboration and is committed to adding value to their work.

Pregame

SMEs put content out into the world to test its resonance. Most are open to both feedback and discussion. But if your ask is vague or too open-ended, your SME won’t be able to meaningfully contribute to your development. Prepare a set of targeted questions that align with your goals and challenges. Include a couple in your cold email and request a meeting to obtain the SME’s answers. Set a flexible deadline for your request. For example ask, “Would you have time in the next two weeks to answer those questions and, depending on your answers, maybe one or two follow up questions?” Being upfront about your intentions shows you are mindful of the SME’s time and sets the stage for a focused and productive conversation. Giving the SME time to process your request before you meet is more likely to yield actionable advice.

Prepare

Nothing conveys sincerity more than establishing you’ve done your homework. Get familiar with their background, accomplishments, and any recent contributions they’ve made to their industry. In your cold email, reference specific aspects of their work that resonate with you. Before reaching out, follow them on LinkedIn and react and/or comment on their posts. This showcases your genuine interest in their expertise and signals that you pay attention to their work. SMEs are inundated with meeting requests. Offer to meet in person, to arrange a 20 – 30 minute videoconference, or to send them an email with a list of three to five questions they can answer at their convenience. Consideration of their time increases the likelihood of a positive response. It takes practice and follow up, but mastering the art of seeking advice from SMEs can be a game-changer in your professional journey.

Do you seek advice from strangers you admire? How do you ask them for it? Please share in the comments.

Your Top 12

Thank you for spending 2023 with me! As we begin a new year together, here are the top three articles in each category: Time, Energy, Attention, and Money (T.E.A.M.), based on the most views.

Time

Energy

Attention

Money

I appreciate you discussing these topics with me in 2023. I hope you found them useful. There are more in store for 2024!

What decisions around time, energy, attention, and money are you facing in the new year? Please share in the comments.

Check It Off

Stand up, close your eyes, and balance on one foot for 10 seconds. Did you feel your body adjusting for the entire 10 seconds to keep you from falling over? If the constant tension of managing your time feels like balancing on one foot with your eyes closed, it helps to have a decision-making process to fall back on. Let’s explore the four Ds of time management: delete, delegate, defer, and do. How can you implement these strategies to get your urgent tasks as well as your most important tasks done?

Delete

Not every task is of equal importance, and some activities may not significantly contribute to your overall goals. By regularly purging non-essential tasks, you free up valuable time and mental bandwidth so you can focus on the more critical aspects of your work. First, identify items that are low-priority, redundant, or simply unnecessary. Then, pull out your latest job performance review and compare it to your task list. To effectively delete, ask yourself:

Would completing this task move me closer to the goals set in my latest evaluation?
Is this task aligned with my priorities?
What value does this task add to my work or the organization?
Can this task be eliminated without compromising overall productivity?

Delegate

Recognizing you can’t do everything on your own and empowering your team to handle specific tasks can significantly increase overall efficiency for the whole organization. By sharing responsibilities, both you and your team can optimize your time, energy, and attention for the tasks that require each person’s specific expertise. This practice cultivates a more productive, collaborative, and pleasant work environment. To effectively delegate:

Identify tasks that can be performed by others without compromising quality.
Assess each team member’s strengths and assign tasks that align with their skills.
Clearly communicate expectations, deadlines, and relevant details.

Defer

You want to get a task done so you can check it off your list and move on to the next but some tasks would be more efficiently done if you stop to think about them. You should take time to contemplate tasks whose results have lasting consequences on processes, people, and/or payroll. These decisions usually require multiple sources of information and/or resources that may not be at your fingertips. Deferment allows you to address tasks at optimal moments and avoid unnecessary stress for you, your team, and your organization. To effectively defer:

Evaluate the urgency and importance of each task.
Identify tasks that can be postponed without negative consequences.
Create a realistic schedule that allows margin for completing deferred tasks.

Do

Procrastination often leads to increased stress and a backlog of tasks. This hinders your overall productivity. If you promptly address tasks that can be completed in the moment, then you will prevent a workload buildup and maintain a sense of control over your responsibilities. To effectively do:

Prioritize tasks based on urgency and importance.
Set aside dedicated time for tasks that require immediate action.
Break down larger tasks into smaller, more manageable steps.

Mastering the four Ds of time management is a powerful decision-making strategy. It helps you create a more streamlined and efficient workflow and ensures your time is spent on tasks that align with your organization’s goals as well as your personal priorities.

Do you use the four Ds? Please share how in the comments.

Reimagine Compensation

The United States Internal Revenue Service defines full-time employment in terms of hours. Their standard is an average of 30 hours per week or 130 hours per month. You can sit at a desk for those hours and wait for the email notification to ding, but is that productive? If you secure a new customer over a lunch hour, do you have to work another 39 hours that week?

Tradition

Rooted in the labor movements of the 19th and early 20th centuries, the 40-hour work week was established to protect workers from exploitation, ensure work-life balance, and promote economic stability. Technology, remote and hybrid work arrangements, and a shift in how we measure productivity, makes this rigid structure unsuitable for a wide range of jobs and industries.

Transformation

Employees are increasingly prioritizing autonomy while employers are increasingly recognizing the value of results over hours logged. The result is transforming the way employees are compensated. Instead of being paid solely for the number of hours worked, employees can be compensated based on their skills, the networks they bring to the organization, and the outcomes they deliver. For example, freelancers, gig workers, and project-based contractors are compensated for completing tasks, the quality of their output, delivering specific results, and the impact on the organization’s success, rather than for a set number of hours worked. This approach aligns more closely with the idea that the value an employee provides to the organization is not solely a function of their time, but the quality and impact of their work. We talked a couple of months ago about how being busy is not a reflection of productivity. With the aid of technology, it is now easier to track and assess work progress and results, no matter where, when, or how an employee chooses to work. Key performance indicators (KPIs), project milestones, and deliverables are more significant in assessing an employee’s productivity rather than the mere number of hours spent at a desk.

Transition

In a traditional office setting, it’s easier to monitor and manage employee performance, but in the age of remote work, new methods and tools are required to maintain accountability. Here are some basics.

Trust and Flexibility: While accountability is essential, micromanaging erodes trust and hinders productivity. A results-oriented approach, where employees are given the autonomy to manage their own work, can be highly effective.
Clear Expectations: Work together to define realistic goals, deadlines, and deliverables. Then evaluate employees based on objective performance metrics like goal achievement, quality of work, and impact on the organization.
Technology and Tools: Time-tracking software, project management platforms, and communication tools are invaluable for keeping remote workers on track. Frequent check-ins, whether through video calls, phone conversations, or written updates, can help maintain both connection and accountability. These interactions allow employees to discuss progress and challenges, and receive feedback and guidance.

The demise of the 40-hour work week is not the end of structured work but a transformation that better aligns with the demands and opportunities of the modern workplace. As remote and hybrid work arrangements become more prevalent, a new model of compensation and productivity measurement emphasizing flexibility, autonomy, and results ultimately benefits both employees and employers.

If you are not paid for your time, then by what measure do you get paid? Please share in the comments.

Network Expansion

When COVID-19 hit, networking went from in-person happy hours and handshakes to online webinars and QR codes for LinkedIn profiles. What practices did we learn during the pandemic that we should keep for 2024?

Then: In-person Events

Conferences, seminars, and mixers gave you a forum to connect. You met new people, exchanged business cards, and mingled face-to-face. This environment facilitated reading non-verbal cues, making a strong first impression, and building relationships through direct personal interactions.

Now: Virtual Events

Platforms like Zoom, Microsoft Teams, and LinkedIn Groups are essential networking tools. This shift towards virtual gatherings has reduced geographical constraints. You can network with people from around the world without leaving your home or office.

2024: Both

Online platforms are useful tools especially for follow up and staying connected. In-person still makes a bigger impact. You interpret non-verbal cues more correctly in person which is vital to meaningful communication. Whether meeting online or in person, focus on getting to know the people in the room as people. Find your common interests. What is their story? What do they do for fun? When meeting online, use the chat feature to exchange email addresses and social media handles and use them to share relevant content and resources.

Then: Transactional

The catchphrase, “It’s not what you know, it’s who you know,” made networking feel like a soulless, necessary evil to build your career.

Now: Relational

Networking is about building community.

2024: Authenticity

Networking is about know, like, and trust. That takes time, energy, and attention. Be in person with people as much as possible, then get to know them better by connecting with them online. Keep your social media profiles up to date. They should reflect your current professional status and interests. Build rapport with your network by commenting on and liking their posts and direct messaging them. Introduce them to potential collaborators through email introductions. Mention shared connections and why you think the two of them can help each other.

Then: Stick to What You Know

In-person networking often involved going to the same type of events over and over and engaging in light conversations about the weather, sports, or current events to break the ice.

Now: Learn from Others

Networking in 2023 has shifted towards content-driven conversations. With the rise of remote work and virtual meetings, discussions have become more focused on professional topics, industry trends, and shared challenges and less focused on small talk.

2024: Stay Informed

Know enough about what is going on in the world to meaningfully contribute to discussions. Share valuable content, such as articles or podcasts, to establish yourself as a thought leader in your field. Mentor someone from whom you want to learn. Trade your expertise for theirs. Use networking events and social media platforms to seek out and connect with professionals who share your interests. Being a thought leader is networking. Presenting at a local Rotary Club is networking. Serving on a non-profit board is networking. To thrive in 2024, integrate elements of both virtual and in-person interactions and you will have the tools to exponentially grow your network.

How is your networking different now than it was pre-pandemic? Please share in the comments.

Philosophy 101

A couple of years ago, a family friend shared his philosophy of leadership with me:

Show up on Time
Be Nice
Be Prepared
Start with Conviction
Stay Calm
Stay the Course

We were not talking about workforce at the time, but since then, I found it applicable in multiple work situations. Can you relate to the following examples?

Show up on Time – Leaders aren’t late. The rule of thumb is: If you aren’t 10 minutes early, you’re late. Last week, I walked into a local coffee shop at 2:52pm for a 3:00pm meeting with two people. I immediately saw both of them seated at a table, and they already had their drinks. Showing up on time is a show of respect.

Be Nice – Kindness counts. It’s especially appreciated at networking events. Everyone gets nervous walking into a venue, looking for someone you know, and trying to look cool. Be the person who starts the awkward conversation. Introduce yourself, ask them where they work and what their role is, offer to go to the food table with them. This last kindness offers both of you an out when you need to mingle.

Be Prepared – Margin matters. Let’s say you receive a calendar invitation for a virtual meeting. Schedule an extra 15 minutes prior to prepare. A week before the meeting go over the agenda. If you have not yet received an agenda, request one. If there is no agenda available, is this meeting actually an email? Ask the organizer why this meeting needs your voice. If it doesn’t, then you don’t need to be in the meeting. Ask the organizer to send you the minutes from the meeting. This request should prompt the organizer to either put an agenda together, cancel the meeting, or excuse you from it.

Start with Conviction – Know your why. You feel strongly that your plan to move a project forward is best, but can you put that feeling into words that will convince your manager? When you can present your strategy in words, both written and spoken, explaining not only what needs to be done, but also why it should be done, the positive energy you create influences your team to believe the same way you do.

Stay Calm – Fear often presents as anger. The more you disagree with a coworker who is emotionally invested in controlling a project, the more frustrated they get and the less they can constructively receive your push back. If you counter their frustration with curiosity, then you pour water on that fire instead of gasoline. You can ask, “You seem very passionate about your plan for this project. Please say more about why.”

Stay the Course – Don’t give up too soon. If the process you used to solve your challenge did not return the outcome you expected, then analyze how you received the result. Identify tweaks you can make. Seek feedback from teammates involved in the process. Iterate the process and try again. Failure only happens when you stop trying. Everything else is data gathering.

Many thanks to John Orr for sharing his philosophy. John is the Lead Pastor of The Stone Church. In the photo above, he’s the man in the Georgia Bulldogs T-Shirt.

Do you use some of his principles at work? Please share your experience in the comments.

Bad Reputation

When you think of Sales, does it conjure up a vision of a used car lot and an overexcited man in an ugly plaid jacket? No? Just me? Okay. As a profession, Sales has a bad reputation. Sales people are stereotypically portrayed as fast talking deceivers.

But, everyone in the workforce is a salesperson even if the word Sales is not in your job title. People associate you with your organization. You have the power to help and hurt your employer. If you enjoy working for your organization, then you will speak highly of it to others. If you don’t, you won’t, and people notice both. For example, let’s say you are a hygienist for a family-owned small dental practice. The next time your friend from the gym has a toothache, will they call your office because you speak so highly of it? Or will they avoid it because you complain?

For this conversation, let’s pretend you are the hygienist mentioned above. You like your job well enough to speak favorably about it and you are not in a sales role. Your success not only depends on your performance, but also on a steady stream of patients. How can you help the business grow even though you are not responsible for attracting patients?

Relationships

Sales skills are communication and caring skills. In our hygienist scenario, you do not have sales goals to meet. This gives you the luxury of being able to take as much time as you want getting to know people and when they need dental services, they will call you. So, when you have face time with friends and family, listen intently and actively. Put your phone upside down on the table and look them in the eye. Do not interrupt their story. When they pause for your response, wait a second to indicate you really heard them, then ask an insightful follow up question to prove it. Great questions lead to great answers. Even just a, “Say more, please,” demonstrates your interest and empathy. When people feel listened to, they feel understood and validated. When they feel understood and validated, they like you. When they like you, they trust you and business moves at the speed of trust.

Experience

When it’s your turn to talk about yourself, it’s natural to talk about your work. In our hygienist example, you may have an anecdote about a one-year-old child’s first trip to the dentist and how you made them feel so at ease they did not want to leave. Then ask your friend what is going on at their workplace. This prompts them to share a success story too. The positive conversation makes you both want to have future interaction, so be sure to follow up. Strive to make people feel comfortable and respected. Show you care about them as a person. Take opportunities to tell stories of how people feel safe with you and how your organization makes their lives both better and easier.

Honesty

Being honest is integral to building relationships and establishing it takes time. Think about a potential client. If you were in their shoes, how would you want to get to know your product or service? What would make you feel respected during the customer journey? In our hygienist example, if you are having coffee with a friend and they mention they are embarrassed by their coffee-stained teeth, do you have a story about a happy customer who had whitening done? Can you suggest an over-the-counter solution they can try first? You aren’t selling your services, you are solving their problem. Steering someone away from your service actually makes it more attractive. You are proving that you value their relationship more than their money.

How do you feel about attracting people to your organization? Please share in the comments.

Unpleasantly Surprised

Have you ever felt like you’re riding a roller coaster without a seatbelt, blindfolded? That’s the sensation the modern work environment often induces, and there’s a term that sums it up perfectly: VUCA. It is an acronym for Volatile, Uncertain, Complex, and Ambiguous. Understanding and embracing the concept of VUCA can be the key to surviving in the constantly evolving workplace. Let’s breakdown what a VUCA work environment feels like and how to cope with it.

What it Feels Like

Volatile: Imagine waking up every morning not knowing whether the coffee maker will brew a perfect cup or explode. That’s the essence of volatility in the workplace. When change happens faster than you can say “meeting agenda,” then flexibility becomes a core capability.

Uncertain: Imagine a surprise party that never ends. That’s the essence of uncertainty in the workplace. Will your project get a green light? Will your team be reshuffled? Will the strategy you’ve been working on suddenly take a hard left turn? To thrive in this environment, you’ve got to be the MacGyver of adaptability, ready to craft a solution out of a paperclip and a piece of gum.

Complex: Imagine assembling a toddler’s toy with more parts than a Swiss watch. That’s the essence of complexity in the workplace. Departments intertwine like spaghetti, and understanding the big picture is like deciphering hieroglyphs. To conquer complexity, you’ve got to be Velma Dinkley, seeking out clues and patterns while keeping an eye out for the red herrings that can throw you off track.

Ambiguous: Imagine reading a book with pages missing. That’s the essence of ambiguity in the workplace. Ambiguity requires deciphering meaning from bits and bytes of information gathered from multiple channels. You have to piece together what your team is supposed to accomplish from various sources.

How to Cope

Develop a resilient attitude. As Rocky Balboa says, “…it ain’t about how hard you hit. It’s about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward;” You will get mentally knocked down. Train your brain to get up again and again and again.

Embrace continuous learning. In a VUCA world, what you know today will be obsolete tomorrow. You have to learn a skill (for example a computer language), use it, unlearn it, learn the next iteration, rinse and repeat. Acquire new knowledge as circumstances shift.

Foster collaboration. Your team is in the same VUCA environment as you are. Collaborate with your colleagues, share insights, and lean on each other’s strengths to create solutions together. Iron sharpens iron. Diverse perspectives cultivate unconventional approaches to problem solving. This is how breakthroughs happen.

Practice self-care. Amidst the chaos, carve out moments of peace and quiet. Celebrate every incremental step toward your goal. You need to refresh to reduce harmful stress and recharge to make accurate decisions.

Embracing the challenges that a VUCA workplace presents can help you become antifragile. Something that is antifragile not only survives but also thrives from coping with adversity.

How do you navigate working in a VUCA environment? Please share in the comments.