Communication – mardihumphreys.com

The Priority

Meetings pile up, emails flood in, and by the end of the workday, you’ve spent more time reacting than making intentional choices. What if managing your time Isn’t just about productivity? What if it’s an act of self-respect?

The Reasoning

Value: When you prioritize your schedule, you send a message that your time is valuable and should be used purposefully. Research from ScienceDirect.com shows that people who set clear boundaries around their time experience greater job satisfaction and overall well-being.

Self-Care: Just like you care for your physical health by eating well and exercising, managing your time is a form of self-care. A study published in the Journal of Occupational Health Psychology found that employees who have control over their schedules experience lower stress levels and higher engagement.

Benefits

Better Mental Health: When you take control of your schedule, you reduce feelings of being overwhelmed. A report by the American Psychological Association found that time-related stress contributes significantly to burnout. By allocating time for work, rest, and personal activities, you maintain a healthier mental state.

Increased Job Satisfaction: Prioritizing tasks that align with your goals and values makes your work more meaningful. Research from Happy Companies indicates that employees who spend more time on meaningful tasks report higher job satisfaction and are more likely to stay engaged in their roles.

Stronger Sense of Self-Worth: Making deliberate choices about how you spend your time shows you believe your goals and well-being are important. This leads to greater confidence and resilience at work.

Prioritize

Review: At the beginning of each workday, take a few minutes to review and prioritize your tasks. Identify the top three most important things you want to get done and work on those first, preferably uninterrupted.

Technology: Use apps like digital calendars, task management tools, and reminders to keep track of your schedule and commitments. Tools like Asana, Trello, or even a spreadsheet can help you stay organized and focused.

Boundaries: Through status messages or direct conversations, communicate your availability to your coworkers and managers. Let them know the best times to reach you and when you need uninterrupted time to focus.

Rest: Schedule short breaks throughout your day to recharge. This not only boosts productivity but also respects your need for downtime. You may find The Pomodoro Technique useful. It suggests 25 minutes of work followed by a 5-minute break.

Calls to Action

Delegate: Thinking you have to do everything yourself is a trap. A study by the American Management Association found organizations who delegate well have a 30% increase in productivity. Learn to trust colleagues and delegate tasks that don’t require your direct involvement.

Say No: It’s hard to say no to projects you find attractive, but pause and assess whether a request aligns with your goals before committing. A 2024 study from Mental Health America found that professionals who confidently say no experience lower stress levels and higher job performance.

Manage Decision Fatigue: Decision fatigue is real, and it drains your mental energy. A study published in PNAS found that judges make less favorable rulings later in the day due to decision fatigue. The same thing applies to you. Automate minor decisions, like meal planning or outfit choices, to free up mental space for more important work-related decisions.

What’s one small change you can make today to respect your time? Please share in the comments.

The Bargain

A company you like has an open position you want. You had a discovery conversation with the hiring manager and you submitted your resume and cover letter. (It’s 2025, why are cover letters still a thing?! Please comment if you know.) It’s time to interview. They will tell you what they want from the new hire and you will tell them the conditions under which you’re willing to work. How can you make this negotiation productive for both you and your potential employer?

Reality Check

Let’s use the Tech Industry as an example. In terms of employment, it’s been volatile since the pandemic. Tons of people were hired in 2020, then big companies started letting tons of employees go in 2022 and those layoffs are still happening. Under these conditions, negotiating your compensation may feel intimidating. With companies regaining leverage, you need to enter the interview knowing what the state of the industry is and how that impacts the benefits you want. Here is an article that tells you how to research a company’s financial stability.

Research

Look up the market rates for similar roles in your location on PayScale, Salary.com, or Glassdoor. Define three numbers: The minimum salary you will accept, the ideal salary you’d be thrilled to get, and your walkaway number. Factor in personal costs. For example, what is your cost of living? What career growth opportunities will the employer offer? What are your work-life balance needs?

Salary

Most companies have a budget for each position, but they may not volunteer this information. It’s important to find out what they are willing to pay before you reveal any of your three numbers. When the hiring manager asks you how much money you want, try this response: “I’m open, but I’d love to understand the salary range you have in mind for this role.” This prevents you from lowballing yourself and gives you a baseline for negotiation. Once you know the range, push for the top. If they offer $90K–$110K, make a case for why you deserve $110K. Give illustrations of your experience, projects, and results. For example: for a Software Developer: “In my last role, I improved system performance by 30%, reducing downtime and saving the company an estimated $200K annually.”

Benefits

Compensation is more than a paycheck and benefits can make a huge difference in how attractive the job is. You also have to acknowledge that there will be tradeoffs. For example, if you push for a higher salary, then they may push for you to be in the office full-time. Consider negotiating for remote/hybrid work options, additional PTO, an upskilling budget, and/or equity or bonuses.

Mindset

Approach negotiation as a two-way conversation, not a battle. Filling this role is a challenge for the hiring manager. Act like the problem-solver you are by using “we” language. For example, “We want to ensure this is a strong long-term fit. Can we adjust the offer to reflect that?” By framing your requests as suggestions you signal your intent to help them achieve the result they want.

What other strategies do you use when negotiating compensation? Please share in the comments

Even Keeled

Last week we talked about how to become aware of our emotions, what triggers them, and how they affect our decision making. Now that you know what they are and why they happen, let’s talk about moving from self-awareness to self-regulation.

You Are in Charge

When you start to feel out of control, what can you do to get ahead of your emotions and constructively respond?

Pause – For example, you are tasked with removing the bottleneck from one of your organization’s workflows. You email the project manager an idea. The reply you receive is harshly critical and dismissive. What do you do? You want to fire off a defensive response. Instead, take a breath, step away, and revisit the email later. The pause gives your rational mind a chance to kick in.

Reset – When stress builds, your decision-making suffers. Techniques like deep breathing or a quick meditation can help in the moment. On days you have to make important decisions, take a break to move your body in addition to those tools. Even a short walk around the block can make a difference. Give yourself a 15-minute “reset break” to clear your mind.

Adapt – Asynchronous work environments demand flexibility. For example, a teammate’s delayed reply may derail your plan. When it does, remind yourself that staying open to new solutions helps maintain momentum in the long run.

Get Social

Strong relationships pave the way for problem-solving as well as career advancement. Building those relationships takes deliberate effort.

Communicate – For example, you’re on a video call with your team putting together an agenda for a client update and they are all distracted. Instead of letting your annoyance show, try saying, “I’d love everyone’s input on this. What else do we want the client to know that I don’t have on this list?” Inviting engagement respectfully can shift the tone of the meeting.

Share – Teams thrive when credit is shared. If you’re leading a project, make it a habit to highlight contributions from teammates, even in small ways like Slack shout-outs.

Learn – Disagreements happen. It’s how you handle them that matters. Focus on solutions instead of assigning blame. For example, if someone misses a deadline, instead of saying, “You messed up,” try, “Let’s figure out how to avoid this in the future.”

Support – If you notice a team member struggling with a task, offer to be a resource. A small gesture, like volunteering to review their work, shows commitment to the team’s success.

Galvanize – Even when projects get messy, a positive outlook can help your team keep going. For example, if a new tool isn’t working as expected, reframing the setback as a learning opportunity can keep morale from plummeting.

Practice – Start with one small action each day. For example, pause before replying to an irritating email or ask a colleague how they’re feeling before diving into work. Over time, these habits become second nature.

Next Steps

Remember the emotion log you kept last week? Pull it out. Knowing what you know now, how do you wish you would have responded in those situations? Now you have an option to experiment with the next time those triggers go off. Here are a few ideas to maintain your progress.

Reflect – Spend five minutes at the end of each workday reviewing your emotional responses and interactions. If there is something you wish you’d done differently, make a note of it. If you responded instead of reacted to a trigger, pat yourself on the back.

Experiment – Try one self-regulation technique during a challenging moment. For example, box breathe, or silently count to three before speaking. Find what works best for maintaining your composure.

Ask – Request feedback from a trusted colleague on how you handle stress during collaboration. This is a private conversation maybe over coffee.

How do you self-regulate to function better at work? Please share in the comments.

Natural Intelligence

For 2025 our conversations will focus on Power Skills (the skills formerly known as “Soft”). Why? To future proof our jobs. As Artificial Intelligence (AI) reshapes the planet, we face a unique challenge: Staying relevant in a workplace where technology automates repetitive tasks. AI excels at technical, hard skills tasks like data analysis, coding, and project tracking. Eventually quantum computing will do hard skills jobs at enterprise-level scale. But AI can’t yet replicate humanity like our ability to adapt, connect, and relate. Power skills like flexibility, empathy, and communication, aren’t just nice to have anymore. They’re essential tools you need for surviving in the future of work.

Finding the Gaps

AI creates opportunities to offload repetitive tasks, freeing you up to focus on solving complex problems, working with others, and making decisions that require emotional intelligence. Power skills fill the gap where technology ends. What does that look like? Here are some examples:

Time management: AI can organize your schedule, but it can’t prioritize tasks based on your unique team dynamics.
Productivity: Automation tools can handle routine updates, but they can’t motivate a team to overcome roadblocks.
Decision-making: Algorithms can analyze data, but interpreting how it impacts people often requires human judgment.

Filling the Gaps

In what areas can you grow where AI struggles? Empathy, adaptability, and effective communication are hard to automate because they require context, emotional nuance, and creative problem-solving. Let’s say you’re a project manager leading a team during a major transition. AI can help forecast timelines and budgets, but it can’t address your team’s concerns about job security or coach them through adapting to new tools. That’s where your emotional intelligence and leadership come in, ensuring the transition is productive and supportive.

Foiling the Gaps

Upskill: Platforms like LinkedIn Learning offer courses on communication, leadership, and conflict resolution. Start with a course that aligns with your current challenges.
Practice: Actively listen to colleagues by summarizing their concerns before responding. This shows you’re not just hearing but also understanding them. For example, during a team meeting, you realize you dominate discussions. You adjust your approach to create space for quieter teammates to contribute, leading to better outcomes. This self-awareness and empathy are skills AI does not have.
Adapt: Volunteer for cross-functional projects or tasks outside your comfort zone. It’s a great way to build resilience and learn to pivot under pressure. For example, your company adopts a new AI-based tool. Instead of resisting, you learn its features and become the go-to resource for your team, showcasing your value.
Lead: Launch small initiatives for your team, like organizing brainstorming sessions or mentoring a colleague. For example, you take the lead on a high-visibility project. You rally the team with clear goals and encouragement making everyone feel invested in the outcome.
Evaluate: Use your 1:1 meetings with your manager to request honest feedback about your communication, adaptability, or leadership. Ask for specific examples and tips for improvement.

The workplace is evolving fast, but your ability to flex, empathize, and communicate will keep you in demand. The future of work is about using AI as a tool so you can do what it can’t. Be human.

What power skill did I forget? Please share in the comments.

That’s a Wrap

Thank you for spending 2024 with me! As we begin a new year together, here are our top three conversations in each category: Time, Energy, Attention, and Money (T.E.A.M.), based on LinkedIn impressions. The first article in each category received the most impressions.

Time

Time Keeps on Ticking

All the Feels

Enquiring Minds

Energy

Underwhelmed

That is Disappointing

Serve or Protect?

Attention

Focus on the Future

Civil Service

Sustainable Success

Money

More Civil Service

High Pay Can Cost You

Working 5 to 9

What decisions around time, energy, attention, and money are you facing in the new year? Please share in the comments.

Presents or Presence?

I checked my data to see what I spent on the holidays last year. I have lists going back to 2020. Do you do that too? No? Just me? Okay. Anyway, I checked my data because I’m looking for ways to save money and I’m struggling. I want to be generous and I need to pay the electric bill. You too? Then let’s talk about some ways we can keep the holiday spirit without going into debt.

In a survey of Americans November 6 – 20, 2024, Gallup found we plan to spend $1012 just on holiday gifts (including gifts for coworkers) this year. If that number makes your wallet sweat, you’re not alone. With inflation still pinching budgets and financial stability on everyone’s mind, it’s time to rethink holiday spending; especially at work. You don’t have to be a Scrooge, but you do have to be intentional. There are plenty of ways to show both kindness and appreciation without spending a lot of money.

Research

Think back to last year. Did you give gifts to every member of your team, your department, and your remote colleagues? If so, consider whether that was necessary or if there’s a more meaningful (and affordable) way to celebrate this year. For example, Let’s say you work on a team of six people. Last year, you gave each coworker a $20 gift card. This year, suggest an alternative like a low-cost team activity; maybe an in-person potluck lunch or a virtual happy hour where everyone can participate without financial strain.

Redirect

If the majority of your coworkers insist on a gift exchange and it’s not in your budget to participate, declining can feel awkward. But you can do it gracefully. For example, your department organizes a Secret Santa. If you need to opt out, be direct but polite. You can say, “Thanks for including me! I’m trying to stick to a strict budget this year, so I’ll sit this one out. Have fun!” If appropriate, you can suggest an activity like coordinating a cookie swap during the gift exchange. This shows you’re still invested in the celebration and offers others who feel the same way you do a way to opt out too.

Redesign

Celebrations don’t always have to involve gifts. Instead, focus on experiences or gestures that build connection. For example, let’s say you’re part of a large department where individual gift-giving isn’t feasible. You could organize a group coffee outing where everyone covers their own drink.

Refuse

Once you’ve set a budget, stick to it. Don’t feel the need to justify smaller gifts or creative alternatives. Rehearse polite ways to decline gift exchanges if necessary. The holidays should be about connection, not financial regret. Most people value the thought behind a gift more than its monetary value. For example, you can give a heartfelt card or handwritten note expressing specific appreciation for each person’s contributions. Thoughtful words of affirmation leave a positive lasting impression far beyond the holidays while costing little money.

How do you handle holiday gifting at work? Please share in the comments.

Leverage Your Impact

Anyone at any level of an organization can be influential. You don’t need a recognized leadership title to make a positive impact. How do you know whom you influence? How can you leverage it to benefit both you and your organization?

Collaborate

To identify whom you influence, understand your role relative to the entire organization. Influence happens through relationships.

Interactions

Peers: Do your decisions affect their processes? For example, if you’re a software developer, your code may directly impact a quality assurance teammate’s testing.

Managers: Does your input guide any of their decisions? For example, would having an intern help your team make the deadline on your current project? A well-reasoned suggestion in a meeting can influence high-level outcomes.

Cross-functional Teams: Do any teams outside your immediate work group rely on your deliverables? For example, do product teams use your reports to guide which features they prioritize?

Stakeholders: Does your work affect the user’s experience? For example, if you design workflows, who implements them?

Observations

Notice how people respond when you share ideas. Do they act on your suggestions? This signals influence.

Track Your Ripple Effect: Look for indirect outcomes. Did a new process you propose save time for other teams? Did a colleague adopt a tool you recommended?

Solicit Feedback: Ask peers and managers how your work impacts their tasks or decisions. Their responses can reveal areas where your influence might not be obvious.

Informal Mentoring: Pay attention to who seeks your opinion. Influence often shows up in casual ways like being the go-to person for advice in a specific area. For example, let’s say you’re a data analyst. Your influence may include other analysts who use your frameworks.

Empower

Leadership is about actions, attitudes, and the ability to both inspire and guide others.

Model: Lead by example. Qualities like ethics, expertise, and empathetic interpersonal interactions positively impact your team and your overall work environment. If you want to want to work with a team who has integrity, resilience, and enthusiasm, then you must demonstrate those values every day.

Recognize: Amplify the strengths of your peers. Say positive things about them in front of their managers. Value ideas from all levels of the company, not just from people at the top of the Org chart.

Catalyze: Leverage your networks to drive initiatives that are aligned with your organization’s goals. For example, be the hub that anchors multiple teams’ efforts and moves projects to completion.

Own

Part of owning your influence is aligning your team’s expectations.

Communicate: Clear and open communication is essential to influence. Transparency helps information flow freely within your team. Identify challenges and propose solutions to them even if they fall outside your immediate responsibilities. Actively listen to your coworkers, support their contributions, and encourage them to share their perspectives.

Mentor: Everyone needs mentors. Offer assistance to your peers, especially those less experienced. Look for people who are currently doing work you aspire to do and ask them about their career journey. Mentoring fosters a positive culture and strengthens relationships.

Reflect: What drives you? What skills do you have? What are your strengths? What sets you apart? Where do you see yourself in two years professionally? Armed with this self-awareness, you can make informed decisions about whose expectations you align with and whose you should respectfully disregard.

How does your influence show up at work? Please share in the comments.

Construct Conflict

No matter how smoothly a project starts, problems with clients are bound to happen. But conflict doesn’t have to derail your productivity or damage your relationships. The key is to have a plan in place to resolve issues quickly and constructively. When you ask the right questions you can understand the situation and use practical strategies to address it.

Why Is the Customer Upset?

Clients often react to how issues make them feel. For example, disrespected, ignored, or undervalued. Understanding the emotional undertone helps you address the real issue. So, get to the root of the problem. Is it a missed deadline, unclear deliverable, or lack of communication?

Example: Your project manager promised a deliverable by Friday, but the team discovers on Wednesday that it won’t be ready until Monday. The client is frustrated because they scheduled their own tasks based on the Friday deadline.

Strategy: Acknowledge the frustration without being defensive. Apologize for the inconvenience and provide a clear, revised timeline. For example: “I understand this delay negatively affects your schedule, and I’m sorry we didn’t flag this earlier. Here’s what we’re doing to ensure delivery by Monday.”

Has This Happened Before?

Is this a one-time issue or part of a recurring pattern? If it’s a pattern, it may signal a process or communication gap on your team’s end. Repetition of the same issue can point to systemic problems in your procedures, eroding client trust.

Example: A graphic design team repeatedly delivers drafts that don’t align with the client’s brand guidelines, despite having access to the brand kit.

Strategy: Review your internal workflows. Are team members using outdated documents? Is there a lack of clarity on what the client wants? To address recurring issues you may want to create a checklist or assign a quality controller.

Is Trust Broken?

Rebuilding trust may require more effort than simply fixing the immediate issue. Trust is fragile. If clients feel deceived, they will hesitate to continue working with you.

Example: A consultant promises weekly updates but misses two in a row without explanation. The client starts to question whether they’re a priority.

Strategy: Reach out proactively, own the mistake, and outline steps to prevent it from happening in the future. For example: “I haven’t provided the updates you were promised. Here’s a new schedule, and I’ve set calendar reminders to ensure this won’t happen again.”

Would More Communication Help?

Sometimes clients just want clarity; an explanation of what happened and what you are doing to fix it. Being transparent can defuse tension.

Example: A software development team changes the scope of a project mid-stream due to legal compliance requirements, but they fail to notify the client promptly.

Strategy: Keep communication frequent and transparent. In this case, a quick explanation could diffuse the conflict. For example, “We had to adjust the project to comply with new regulations. Let me explain how this impacts the timeline and what we’re doing to minimize delays.”

Will the Customer Participate in a Solution?

Resolution works best when both sides are involved. Determine if the client is open to collaboration or firmly in blame mode. If they’re unwilling to cooperate, then progress stalls.

Example: A financial agency submits strategy for approval, but the client rejects it without providing specific feedback, saying only, “This isn’t what I want.”

Strategy: Encourage constructive collaboration by asking open-ended questions. For example, “Can you share examples of what you’re envisioning? That will help us align with your expectations.” By framing it as a partnership, you’re more likely to get actionable feedback.

What conflicts did I forget? Please share in the comments.

Time to Give

This is the final installment of our series, Give a Little Bit. For the last three weeks we’ve talked about generously giving your energy, attention, and money to your coworkers. Let’s wrap up this topic by talking about generously giving your time. It is the most precious resource you have. Once it’s spent, you can’t get it back and you can’t make more. So, why should you give it away to your coworkers? Because it builds strong relationships which improves your team’s productivity, morale, and culture. Here are five things you can do.

Check In: Regular huddles go a long way to build a strong foundation for efficient teamwork, communication, and productivity. You can set up 15 minute weekly meetings with your team to give everyone a chance to share the most important or urgent project they’re working on, ask for assistance, and decide who is working together this week. These short meetings allow you to stay informed, connected, and aligned across projects without taking up too much time. They sustain a reliable rhythm for your team to build rapport and trust.

Shared Resource: A shared folder centralizes key information, templates, and tools. It’s especially valuable for asynchronous work when time is tight, and efficiency is crucial. Create a spreadsheet with tabs for current goals with deadlines, and a checklist of what needs to be done. Also file resources like logos, confirmation receipts, a Word document with links to pertinent articles, etc., in the shared folder. Update it regularly and encourage team members to contribute their own resources. After your weekly huddle, send out a brief recap of the week’s plan including a link to the folder. This ensures everyone has easy access to resources and keeps the whole team on the same page without lengthy meetings.

Help Out: If a colleague is struggling with a specific project, offer to work with them on a portion of it. Resist taking over the whole task. Your intention is to empower them. Could you do just the research or the data analysis or the rough draft of the report? This way, you can manage your own workload while providing immediate, practical help. You want to be known as a team player, but not a steamroller nor a doormat. If you and a teammate click, think about mutual mentorship. Can meeting informally once a quarter to share your experiences and networks be mutually beneficial? At the very least, it showcases your leadership development.

Set Goals: What gets measured, grows. Each week, aim to share one useful resource with someone on your team. Give genuine support without the expectation of getting something in return. Document these in a spreadsheet. They will be useful for your performance review. Not all accomplishments can be easily quantified. Capture anecdotal evidence describing the relationships you are strengthening, like testimonials from clients and LinkedIn recommendations from coworkers, to track the relationship-building skills you use.

Highlight Wins: When you’re in a group setting, whether it’s a team meeting or an email update, mention the accomplishments of others. It is a social norm that when you do someone a favor, like amplify their good work in front of others, they feel compelled to return that favor in kind. This should not be your only motivation to encourage your team. Instead, use it as a tool to build morale and design the environment you want to work in.

How do you generously give your time to your coworkers? Please share in the comments.

Attention to Give

Last week we talked about how a mindset of generosity can positively impact your team’s energy at work in Part 1 of our series, Give a Little Bit. I received feedback suggesting my theory worked in a perfect world. Since none of us live in that branch of the multiverse, let’s discuss how being generous with your attention helps you both stand out and earn respect in a workplace filled with competition.

Some organizations intentionally set their employees up to compete against one another to drive job performance. (I’m lookin’ at you, Sales.) While ambition can be motivating, too much competition can create a limited mindset. For example, this research supports my theory that when you feel like the only way you win is when someone else loses, that is a limited mindset. If you have an unlimited mindset, then you believe your talent and hard work will produce growth; not only for yourself, but also for your team and organization. If you choose creating value over playing a zero-sum game, then you are generous. Your initiative produces innovation, opportunities, and a big payoff for everyone involved. Generosity, cooperation, and mutual growth become your strategies, and they set you apart in a competitive work environment.

Try Coopetition

Keeping tabs on your coworkers isn’t a bad idea. It can help you understand how to bring more value to your role and inspire you to up your game. But one-upping your coworkers can get toxic fast. Instead, focus on assisting your competition to achieve their part of the organization’s mission by cooperating with them. I like to call that “coopetition”. In this case, generosity is about sharing credit, knowledge, and encouragement. When you’re generous, you create a reputation for being reliable, approachable, and self-assured. People respect those who support others. Here are a couple of suggestions.

Shift the Attention: The next time you achieve a success, publicly acknowledge everyone who played a part. This expands the spotlight to shine on the team rather than just you. It makes you look both gracious and confident. You can do this in an email to your manager and the company’s leadership and copy the team.

Share Knowledge Regularly: Make a habit of sharing resources, insights, or tips that could help others succeed. When a coworker sees you aren’t holding back to stay ahead, it increases their trust in you.

Be the Advantage

The way to outshine your competition is by choosing collaboration over rivalry. In highly competitive workplaces, everyone is vying for attention individually. Standing out by being a team player when others are focused on personal recognition signals your strong leadership. While others focus on showing why they’re better than their peers, you are the one who knows how to leverage the strengths of everyone around you. For example, Take the initiative to propose projects that benefit multiple people or departments. By setting up opportunities for others to succeed alongside you, you create positive exposure for yourself while enlisting allies across teams. Generosity helps you build a brand that will last longer than any competitive win. Experiment with coopetition and let me know what happens.

How has generously giving attention to your coworkers differentiated you from your competition? Please share in the comments.