I saw these words on a T-Shirt the other day: I’m not a stepfather. I’m the father that stepped up. It made me think about my relationship with my stepfather and the truth in that statement. You hear so many stories, like Ellen DeGeneres’s, of stepfathers hurting their wives’ kids, that my story with my stepfather reads like a fairy tale.
When Dad (that’s what I call my stepfather; he’s earned the title) married Mom, I was 13 years old and living with my biological father and his new family. When that didn’t work out, I moved in with Mom and Dad. Surprise! It’s an angst-ridden teenage girl! Lucky you! He’s a Vietnam War veteran who views challenges as invitations, so he dove right in the stepparent pool. I learned many things about work from him which you can read about here. He also has some catch phrases that help me in my career. Here are three.
You can’t over communicate. Once, when I was a teenager, Dad was to pick me up from an evening Spanish club field trip to Chi-Chi’s (remember those?). I assumed he’d pick me up at school, but instead, he went to the restaurant which was 10 miles away. After a hard day at work he was not pleased with the inconvenience of the extra driving and time spent searching for me. I learned to be more clear in giving instructions. I’m reminded of this when making arrangements for my team to meet with my clients’ teams. Do I have the who, what, when, where, why, and hows covered?
Trrrry it. You’ll liiiike it. He usually said this in reference to food, but it comes to mind when my boss gives me a project that overwhelms me. Just try. Just start. I pick the low hanging fruit first so that sense of accomplishment gives me confidence to figure out the next step. Then I take the next step, and the next one, and eventually the project is done.
Just jump in and help. This is actually how Kat Cole went from being a Hooters waitress to the President of Cinnabon. Bottom line for both Dad and Kat: when something needs done, do it. It doesn’t matter whether or not it’s in your job description. In fact, it’s better if it’s not because 1) You learn a new skill. 2) You’re viewed by management as a utility player. 3) You earn the gratitude of the person or team you helped giving you the right to ask for their help in the future.
Dad is retired now, but he’s still parenting as well as teaching me lessons about work. As I write this, he texted asking if I’m okay. My car is in the shop so earlier today he drove 45 minutes to my office, picked me up, drove me 45 more minutes to a meeting downtown and left when I secured a ride back to the office with a coworker. His thoughtfulness reminds me I have some follow up emails to send.
Do you have a stepparent? Has he/she taught you lessons about employment? Please share them in the comments section.