F or F The Sequel

Wow! Thank you for your responses to Part One of Frustrating or Fatal? In my networking last week, it became pretty obvious pretty quick this topic is a bigger conversation than I was aware. Here are a few more things that came up when deciding if your workplace is toxic, or you’re just having a bad week.

Does Favoritism Shape Your Opportunities? 

Every manager has people they naturally connect with. That alone doesn’t create a toxic culture. The warning sign is when relationships consistently matter more than performance. Certain employees receive better assignments, inside information, promotions, and forgiveness. Others are held to stricter standards or excluded from decisions that affect their work. You may deliver strong results for months, yet watch a less-qualified coworker receive an opportunity because they have better access to leadership. When employees believe outcomes depend on being liked, they stop focusing on good work and start noticing who is invited to the golf outing.

Are Mistakes Ammunition?

Healthy teams examine mistakes to improve the process. Toxic teams search for someone to blame. A missed deadline may reveal unclear ownership, poor planning, or too many competing priorities. Instead of fixing those conditions, leadership singles out one employee and uses the incident against them for months. This creates a culture where people hide errors, avoid responsibility, and document every conversation for self-protection. When your attention goes into proving that something was not your fault, you pay less attention to solving the real problem.

Are Your Boundaries Treated as Optional?

You should be able to take approved leave without being punished. You should be able to step away when you are sick. Your manager is not entitled to constant access to your hours outside of work. A toxic workplace assumes you’re available 24/7/365. You may receive messages late at night with no stated urgency, then face criticism for responding the next morning. You may get questioned about your commitment when you can’t attend a meeting outside your normal hours. A salary pays for your work. It does not purchase every minute of your life.

Do Values Only Appear on a Wall?

Many organizations talk about trust, teamwork, respect, flexibility, or employee well-being. The real culture shows up in decisions. Does leadership say it values collaboration but rewards information hoarders? Does the company promote wellness but chronically understaff teams? Does it preach transparency while punishing employees who respectfully raise concerns? Ignore the posters for a second. Notice what gets rewarded, tolerated, and repeated. That is the culture.

Is Your Body Noticing?

A toxic workplace can change how you feel about yourself. Do you get the Sunday Scaries? Do you reread your replies to emails several times before sending them because you’re afraid of typing the wrong thing? Do you lose sleep every night before a 1:1 with your manger? Do you feel drained long after the workday ends? Have you begun to question your judgment? Maybe you were once confident in your abilities, but now you second-guess every decision. You assume problems are your fault. You hesitate to apply for other jobs because you believe you have become less capable. This is useful data your body gives you.

What to Do Next

Begin with documentation: Write down specific incidents, including dates, people involved, what happened, and any follow-up. Save relevant emails, messages, performance reviews, and policy documents where legally and ethically appropriate on a device not owned/administered by your workplace. 

Next, test the situation with a calm question: “I want to make sure I understand the expectations. Can we confirm the priority, deadline, and what success will look like?”

When addressing repeated behavior, you might say: “I notice this has happened several times. I’d like to discuss the impact it’s having on my work and what we can change going forward.”

Then watch the response: A healthy organization may not solve the problem immediately, but someone will usually listen, clarify, investigate, or take responsibility. A toxic organization often denies the pattern, blames you for noticing it, or makes the situation worse.

Finally, imagine that nothing changes for another year: How does that feel? Ordinary frustration may feel manageable. Persistent dread deserves your attention. You do not need to quit tomorrow. You do need to stop dismissing what you are experiencing. Strengthen your professional network, update your resume, review your finances, and learn what options are available. Clarity gives you choices. Exhaustion takes them away.

How do you decide when it’s time to leave a toxic workplace? Please share in the comments.