Leadership – Page 2 – mardihumphreys.com

Not Your Grandmother’s Resolution

As we prepare to celebrate the end of 2019, (after tornadoes and a mass shooting here in Dayton, OH, we say good riddance) and prepare for 2020, we think about making New Year’s resolutions. How about instead of resolving to stop smoking or lose weight, let’s:

Treat others the way we want to be treated

For example, when I have a new project at work requiring the talents of someone from another team, I first approach the person whose talent I need and ask if he’s interested. If so, I then approach his manager and ask her permission to assign him to my project. I outline the work, the time I expect it to take, and how it will benefit both the talent and the company. Respectful communication helps us all get more work done.

Listen and learn

Let’s seek opportunities that put us in the same room with people who have different backgrounds and lifestyles than us and listen to their stories. I’ve gotten to know some excellent people by scheduling a follow-up coffee after meeting at a networking event. Seeing the world from someone else’s perspective expands our own.

Flip the script

Much like Joan Jett covering the Mary Tyler Moore Show theme, let’s do something unexpected. This takes a lot of energy. It’s easier to sit and complain about the way things are instead of leaving the break room and doing something about them. For example, if we usually wait to be asked for our ideas, let’s take initiative, write up a brief proposal, and email it to our manager.

Stop comparing

Our journeys are unique. If we compare ourselves to someone with fewer resources to make ourselves feel important, how petty is that? If we compare ourselves to someone further down the career path to make ourselves feel unimportant, how degrading is that? Let’s focus on improving our good habits one percent every day. Let’s only compare ourselves to who we were yesterday. Did we take a step toward our goals or improving our systems today? Let’s make that the bar we strive to meet.

Rise

For example, if we habitually complain about other women, why? Are we jealous? Do we think success was handed to them? Does it relieve us of the responsibility of hustle and sacrifice? Let’s stay in our lanes, assume they got where they are through hard work, and support them to advance even further. When we add value to someone’s life, the law of reciprocity kicks in and we can end up benefiting. Let’s intentionally lift each other up.

These resolutions build our self-esteem and confidence. Not only will we like ourselves more, but others will like us too, and that’s good for business. Some people light up the room when they walk in and some people light up the room when they walk out. In the new year, let’s aim to be the former.

Please share in the comments section how you resolve to stretch yourself in 2020.

This is How We Role

Does leading people scare you? Good. It means you care. The best leaders want the people in their charge to succeed. How can you achieve that? Model learning, networking, and resilience; like these women.

Learning: Katherine Johnson

You probably know her from the movie Hidden Figures. Katherine has been a brilliant mathematician since she was 13 years old. In 1939, she was the lone female of only three black students permitted to attend the graduate program in mathematics at West Virginia University. She began work at Langley Memorial Aeronautical Laboratory in 1953, where she was the only one John Glenn trusted to calculate the trajectory of his orbital flight around the earth. She is the author/co-author of 26 research reports. She cites helping synch Project Apollo’s Lunar Lander with the moon-orbiting Command and Service Module as her most important contribution to space exploration.

You may not be a STEM rockstar like Katherine, but you can build on your strengths and use them to inspire your team. Do you like to communicate? Is your delivery clear and concise? If your colleagues’ eyes glaze over when you present in meetings, maybe it’s time for a refresher on communication best practices.

Networking: Judy Robinett

Judy is “the woman with the titanium digital Rolodex.” She’s an entrepreneur, business thought leader, author, and she was profiled in Fast Company, Huffington Post, and Forbes for her reputation as a “super connector.” Judy says quality (your level of connection with someone) beats quantity when building a powerful network and there’s a limit on how many relationships we can juggle at one time. (Spoiler alert: it’s 150.)

You may not have a titanium digital Rolodex like Judy, but you have circles of influence. Dig deeper into these relationships. Find out what networking groups one of your coworkers attends and offer to be her wingman. None of your team mates have a networking group? Identify one you’d like to attend and ask at least one colleague to join you.

Resilience: Sheryl Sandberg

Sheryl graduated from Harvard University, helped make Google a profitable company, advocates for women in business through Lean In, authored two books, and as the COO at Facebook, is one of the wealthiest women in the world. But Sheryl is criticized for preaching at working mothers to remain in the workforce (because she can afford to hire staff to work both in her office and her home), her husband died suddenly in 2015 leaving her widowed with two children, and she got blamed for Facebook’s Cambridge Analytica scandal.

You may not have to defend your decisions on a national stage like Sheryl, but you’ll face customers’ anger while you’re wounded. Dealing with unpleasant situations under difficult circumstances gives you opportunity to show your direct reports emotional intelligence in action. The next time one of your clients is upset, take a team member with you to the client’s office to talk about resolution. This earns both the client’s and team member’s respect.

A role model inspires us to set goals, gives us the tools to reach them, and celebrates us when we do. If you do that, you are both a great leader and role model.

Please share the qualities you look for in a role model in the comments section.

Royal Pain

Ever wonder what happens when a mean girl grows up? She becomes a Queen Bee (QB): a female leader insecure in her position who treats her female employees worse than she treats her male employees. Obsessed with maintaining her authority, she views other women as competitors and excludes them from high profile projects that could advance their careers. What does a QB act like? How do you deal with one? Short of a giant flyswatter, how do we eliminate QBs?

Beehavior (see what I did there?)

A QB:

Dismisses our ideas without discussion
Interrupts us mid-sentence
Excludes us from meetings
Chips away at our confidence (e.g., yells at us for not performing a task we weren’t aware we’re supposed to do)
Undermines us behind our backs (e.g., gossips about us to colleagues)
QBs are effective because they prey on unique female vulnerabilities men don’t usually think about (e.g., not smart enough, dressing inappropriately, too emotional, not committed to our careers because we’re mothers, etc.)

Until there are as many female leaders as male, freezing out the competition is an effective survival strategy.

Remove the Sting

A young woman starting out her career naturally looks around the organization for a successful mature woman to emulate. The chosen mentor may see this as competition and in the vein of keep your friends close and your enemies closer, actively subvert the younger woman’s efforts to advance her career. If we aspire to be leaders, we have to stand up for ourselves. Note instances where the QB treats us differently than our male coworkers and ask why. Let’s politely ask for details on our job performances and in what areas she’d like us to improve. When she gets mean, we’ll keep our composure and take her assessment respectfully. We’ll admire her work, tell her we want to be as good at our jobs as she is at hers, and ask her to share the secret of her success.

Extinction

In the good news department, this article says there aren’t as many QBs as we think. The assumption there is something in women’s genes that make us unable to get along with each other is a myth. QBs are the result of inequality and gender discrimination. Women protect our territory because we’re the non-dominant group, not because we’re women. As more women reach higher levels of management, being punished (e.g., low job performance ratings, not getting promoted) for promoting diversity by elevating other women, should decrease.

Learning to Fly

Women should mentor other women and publicly celebrate other women’s accomplishments. When a woman behaves like a man, let’s stop judging her so harshly. Let’s call both men and women out on the language they use to describe our female coworkers. For example, in a recent interview, Taylor Swift pointed out, “…A man does something, it’s strategic; a woman does the same thing, it’s calculated.” So let’s watch our mouths; no trash talking other women. People view us as women, not as professionals. Let’s use that bias to our advantage. Let’s embrace other women on our teams, work hard together, support each other, and deliver the goods. Let’s earn reputations for increasing revenue and giving excellent customer service. When we’re in positions to promote women, let’s do it. Let’s create a sisterhood of success. When women have each other’s backs, we all rise.

Have you ever experienced Queen Bee Syndrome at work? What did you do to change the relationship? Please share your story in the comments section.

Balancing Act

During a conference I attended last week, we did a networking exercise similar to the Reciprocity Ring Adam Grant uses in his classes at Wharton. Most of us requested referrals, but one woman asked for tips on work-life balance. I admired her courage. We usually act like we either have it all together or wear burnout like a badge of honor. I promised to do some research. Here’s what I found.

Contributing Factors to Work-life Imbalance:

1. Household Chores

Women do more household chores than men no matter what their age, income level, workforce responsibilities, or if there are children to parent. If you’re tired of carrying the bulk of the homework, talk to your partner about traditional gender roles and work out a fair division of labor.

2. Working Remotely

If you don’t have to be on-site to do your job, working from home allows flexibility but also usually means working longer and odd hours and sets the expectation from your boss that it’s acceptable. American wages are about the same today as they were 40 years ago. Technology has produced knowledge workers, but businesses have yet to figure out how to measure their productivity. We’re still measuring it by hours on time sheets and presence in the office. So if you work remotely, you feel you have to be connected 24/7 to demonstrate productivity.

3. Your Mate’s Schedule

Women partnered to men who work long hours (50 or more per week) have significantly higher perceived stress and significantly lower work-life balance than women partnered to men who work a normal full-time week (35–49 hours).

Possible Solutions:

1. Flip the Script

Stop thinking of work as negative and home as positive. There’s nothing wrong with loving your job. It’s just that too much of a good thing still causes burnout. Alternate work schedules are becoming more common. Can you choose a schedule that allows you to balance home and work? You have to set and protect boundaries, but you would control them.

2. Embrace the Imbalance

Using time-saving hacks aren’t working any more. Imbalance is a challenge for a household where both people have jobs and no one has the exclusive responsibility to manage the home. Give each other some grace. Communicate when you have an impending work deadline signaling that your chores at home will have to wait. On the other hand, let your colleague know you will answer his email after you get home from your daughter’s basketball game.

3. Leadership

If the organization’s leaders don’t practice work-life balance, e.g., emailing at 9:00PM, calling into meetings from vacation, etc., then employees will follow suit because it shows dedication and may lead to promotion. Managers should model the behavior the company wants cultivated. Supervisors should take a lunch hour, go on vacation, and leave the office for the day at a reasonable hour. Then they should talk openly about doing all those things with their teams and encourage them to do the same.

How do you balance work with your personal life? Please share your story in the comments section below.

Increase Your Stock Value

This white paper suggests corporations that have women in C-Suite positions experience higher stock values and greater profitability than corporations whose boards are all men. This study proposes there is no physical difference between male and female brains. Both resources imply cultural bias keeps women out of boardrooms. So here we are in 2019 still banging our heads against the Glass Ceiling. What steps can we take right now to break through? One is to develop leadership presence. It’s the secret sauce to obtaining executive and senior level positions and it consists of confidence, unique voice, and physical presence.

Confidence

Research shows men apply for jobs if they meet 60% of the qualifications. Women apply if we meet 100%. When we don’t get the job, women assume we aren’t good enough to get it, and men blame external circumstances. If you work in HR, analyze your organization for diversity then filter your results through your hiring process. What can you do to attract, hire, and promote under-represented groups? (E.g., women in entry level positions taking longer to get promoted than men hired for the same position at the same time.) Make unconscious bias conscious. If your company recruits more men than women, find out why. Hiring managers tend to recruit people they like and who are like them. Does your company need more female recruiters?

Unique Voice

Research reveals when women leaders exhibit traditionally male characteristics, like decisiveness and assertion, we are perceived as bossy and aggressive. On the other hand, when female leaders display traditionally feminine characteristics like being warm and nurturing, we are perceived as incompetent. The trick is to be both warm and competent. Women don’t have to mimic men to have an influential voice, but this is a slippery slope. As LeanIn.org tweeted, “We tend to underestimate women’s performance and overestimate men’s. Women get less credit for their accomplishments and more blame for mistakes. As a result, women have to work harder than men to prove that they’re qualified.” Since women are more likely to be given leadership roles in times of crisis, we get lots of practice using our unique voices.

Physical Presence

To break through the Glass Ceiling, women must get over risk aversion. To get what we want, we have to go after it. We can acknowledge to ourselves we’re afraid, but we have to proceed. True leaders are more afraid of the status quo than of taking risk. We can start by taking up as much physical space as possible when entering a room: stand tall, sit up straight, and make eye contact. These non-verbals telegraph we’re competent contributors. Respect is earned, not given; but we can act like we expect it. We need to pay attention to women beginning employment with our companies and actively advocate for them. We should be creative, innovative, and collaborative in forming sisterhoods in our organizations. We rise and fall together.

Do you have any suggestions how women can develop leadership presence? Please share them in the comments section below.

We Just Disagree

When you put two or more human beings in a room together, it won’t be long until they find something to disagree about. Throw in a complicated project for a demanding client that takes weeks to deliver and you have a recipe for major conflict to erupt. It’s not a question of if you have conflict with your coworkers, but when. Here are three ways to manage it.

1. Rip off the Band-Aid

Conflict is like a wound. If left untreated, it can get infected and hurt the whole team. Going to the source and clearing the air as soon as you recognize conflict keeps it from spreading. When I feel like a coworker’s vibe toward me is negative, in private, I ask if I’ve unwittingly offended him. Sometimes, I’m the one who feels offended, but I still go to the person I feel has offended me. Often conflict is a result of miscommunication, so the first thing I do is listen to his issue. I try to ignore any emotion either one of us is feeling and concentrate on the words he’s saying. Then I reflect back to him what he said in the form of a question, “You’re stumbling over _____ because _____. Is that right?” If I’ve offended him, I apologize. If he offended me, I forget about blame and I don’t expect an apology. I can’t change his personality, but I can ask him to modify his behavior. If the situation is a misunderstanding, my coworker now knows I’m not afraid of conflict and I’m willing to deal with the source instead of gossiping to the rest of the team.

2. You need to calm down

If a coworker gets angry, talks sarcastically, or raises his voice, I do the opposite. I control my non-verbals: uncross my arms, put on a poker face, and speak in a soft tone. It can feel like an attack, but another person’s opinion of my decision is only his opinion. Just because he’s mad doesn’t mean he’s right. He’s not open to the possibility of being wrong when he’s mad, so I refrain from pointing out flawed logic while he’s venting. Why he feels so strongly about a perceived slight could have absolutely nothing to do with me. A gentle answer turns away wrath.

3. Find the yes

There’s more than one way to bake a cake, everyone wants to do it their own way, and sometimes they are very vocal about it. What I need to find is a solution everyone can live with (not necessarily agree on) so we can have cake; er, I mean, a deliverable. When a discussion gets heated, I throw water on the fire instead of gasoline. I try to find either common ground, something positive they did to further this project, or something we agreed on in the past in order to build a compromise.

Conflict is inevitable. When we learn to perceive it as data to be analyzed and interpreted we can mitigate it more quickly.

Do you have a favorite strategy to manage conflict with your coworkers? Please share your tips in the comment section below.

You May be a Leader

Time for a riddle:
What’s the difference between someone who is a leader and someone who is in charge?

Answer:
Leader = one who glues a team together and gets things done
Bureaucrat = one who is titled and officially in charge

Can this be the same person? Sure. Is it always? (That’s not a riddle.) If you don’t have a managerial title, how can you tell if you’re a leader?

Leadership is simply influence and everyone has it. You probably lead something or someone whether or not you recognize it as leadership. To find out, ask yourself these 10 questions.

1. Do I live in the future?

If you look two weeks down the road, plan two steps ahead, or see what currently exists and how it could be used to create something that doesn’t yet exist, you may be a leader.

2. Do I look at current processes and imagine how they could be improved?

When a coworker says, “But this is the way we’ve always done it.” If you say, “Yeah, but what if we can find a better way?” you may be a leader.

3. Do I communicate clearly?

If you can present the overview of how to achieve the project’s deliverable, as well as the steps necessary to create it, you may be a leader.

4. Do I collect people into teams?

If you identify coworkers who share your value system, solicit their opinions on your projects, invite collaboration, and facilitate partnership, you may be a leader.

5. Do I hate waste?

If you know a teammate has an underused ability that can enhance the project, and you appeal to their sense of purpose to focus it on accelerating the project, you may be a leader.

6. Do I reproduce myself?

If you teach teammates how to do what you do thereby sharing your power and encouraging them to find theirs, you may be a leader.

7. Do I connect people?

If you meet someone at a networking event and immediately think, “How can I help this person achieve her goals?” you may be a leader.

8. Do I eliminate obstacles?

If you know what action to take to keep the project moving toward completion and do it, if you ask for forgiveness instead of seeking approval, or if you think any decision is better than no decision, you may be a leader.

9. Do I make wise choices?

If you filter decisions through your company’s mission statement, you may be a leader.

10. Do I think more about others than about me?

If your main concern is advancing the project, even if it means a coworker will outshine you, you may be a leader.

The bureaucrat has the fancy title and big salary because he is held responsible for the team’s success. The leader has influence to achieve that success. If that person is not one and the same in your workplace, follow the leader.

Do you have managers in your office who aren’t leaders? Do you have managers in your office who are leaders? Please share your observations in the comments section.

What’s it all for?

Captain Herschel L. Smith Photo Credit to the owner

Memorial Day is a holiday dedicated to honor those who died while serving in military service to America. It always reminds me of my Grandpa, Herschel L. Smith. Although, he didn’t die in the line of duty (Thank You, Lord), so I don’t know why Memorial Day makes me think of him. He served as a Captain in the U.S. Army Air Corps and piloted B-24 Liberators during WWII. His plane was shot down over Germany. As the enemy moved in to take his crew captive, he told his men, “We’re going to win the war. We’re just not gonna win it today.” And for the next 11 months they were POWs. He had a purpose: to keep hope alive in his team. Through the filter of winning a war, decision making gets simple; not easy, but straightforward. We benefit from our military personnel’s sacrifices to maintain our freedom. So what are we doing with this privilege? What is my purpose? What is yours?

Make time to find your purpose. Here is an article to help. Finding your purpose may take a while, but it’s a wise investment. Making decisions through the filter of purpose causes wise choices to be more obvious and simplifies the process. For example: If you are in sales (spoiler alert: everyone is in sales), your purpose is to help your customers. You want to provide them with a product or service they need at a price they can afford. When you approach a potential customer with that mindset, your instinct is to ask them what their pain points are. When you learn the obstacles they face, it helps you figure out how to fix their problems with your product or service.

Experiment. Have you always wanted to do something, but never had time: Gourmet cooking? Coding? Story telling? You’ll never just have time. You have to make time. Jump in and take a class. Or, are you really good at something? Get yourself a YouTube channel and teach others what you know. Do you love dogs? Volunteer at your local animal shelter. Do you want to make a difference in a young person’s life? Mentor.

Remember you have more than one. You bring one purpose to your partner. You bring a different purpose to your first child and a different purpose to each subsequent child. You bring a purpose to your mom and a different purpose to your dad and a different purpose to your bestie. You may bring multiple purposes to your job, church, school, intramural team, book club, etc.

It can evolve over time. When our daughter was little, my purpose as a mom was to guide and protect. Now that she’s an adult it’s to encourage and support.

In closing, I salute Captain Herschel L. Smith with some of his favorite words:
By the world I was soon forgotten
No one has mourned for me
as over the world I have wandered
across the boundless sea
So drink to me again boys through the midst of crocodile tears
for when I’m gone no one will mourn
the last of the bombardiers

Please share how your journey to finding your purpose is going in the comments section.

The Blame Game

Ever think about taking shortcuts at work? Sometimes in weekly meetings with my manager I’d think, “It would just be so easy to blame Joe Sixpack and his long smoke breaks for production being down this month.” When in reality, if I’d made 20 more cold calls two weeks ago, we probably could’ve reached our monthly goal. In that moment, I had to decide whether or not I would be accountable. businessdictionary.com defines accountability as: “The obligation of an individual or organization to account for its activities, accept responsibility for them, and to disclose the results in a transparent manner. It also includes the responsibility for money or other entrusted property.”

Why should accountability matter to you?

Because it directly affects your team’s productivity, efficiency, and morale; particularly when there’s a lack of accountability. Productivity wanes because who wants to work hard next to someone who is lazy then listen to excuses for why his work isn’t done? Efficiency decreases because now your team wonders who has what role: “I thought Joe Sixpack was responsible for ordering inventory, but maybe Jane Merlot really is.” Morale declines because trust is gone and everyone feels the need to constantly protect their rears. But should you account for circumstances beyond your control? Let’s say I actually made those 20 additional cold calls two weeks ago and we still didn’t make our monthly goal. Then what? I still have to acknowledge I didn’t accomplish what was expected, but I’d ask my manager what I can do differently to reach this month’s goal.

How do you demonstrate accountability?

When you make a mistake admit it. If you can come up with a way to not make it again, have that plan ready when questioned about it. E.g.: “For inventory, I ordered 4000 widgets when I meant to order 400. I’ll ask Jane to double check my data entry before submitting the next order.” Don’t make promises you know you can’t keep and keep the promises you make. If you can’t come through, let the team know ASAP. Also brief them on what you’re doing to fix the situation. To track your accountability progress, try journaling. Here’s one that only takes five minutes. Or find an accountability partner. You can keep each other honest and on track to reaching your individual goals. Show your manager you’re serious about accountability with updates during your weekly 1:1s. If your manager doesn’t hold weekly meetings with you, write a status report on your own. What did you spend your week doing? Being able to quickly pull up a report detailing all your past projects could save your job during cutbacks. At the very least, this list makes annual performance review prep super easy.

Once your boss realizes you’re someone who knows they make mistakes and is brave enough to own them, fix them, and not repeat them, she’ll keep coming back to you with projects. A reputation for accountability adds value and security to your position.

What do you do to prove accountability to either your manager or your team? Please share in the comments section below.

Micro vs Macro (Part 2)

Please see last week’s post for the micromanaging discussion. This week, let’s go to the other end of the spectrum.

What do macromanagers look like? At first glance, they seem like perfect bosses. Observing team dynamics helps us spot them: projects veering off track, missed deadlines, and team members who won’t play nice together, probably have a macromanager. They don’t interfere, hover, or prioritize accountability. Sometimes referred to as “hands off” managers, they have a “hire the right people and empower them” philosophy. Team bonding and creativity don’t happen because macromanagers don’t coach their teams. When the project encounters obstacles, egos come out and blame starts, but macromanagers are unavailable to lead their teams through conflict resolution. They force responsibility without authority onto individual contributors by abdicating tasks they should do to the team (e.g., role assignment for presentations: Who’s doing the research? Who’s creating the slide deck? Who is speaking?). Macromanagers leave deliverables open to interpretation. The team completes the project, but the result isn’t even close to what the macromanager wanted.

What if you’re macromanaged? As with micromanagers, communication is key. Meet with the whole team (I can feel your eyeroll. (LOL) I’m not a meeting fan either, but in this case, it’s the most efficient solution.) If your macromanager doesn’t want to explain details or impose order, ask him to at least provide the overall scope. Focus the macromanager on process and help the team accept responsibility for production. Ask follow up questions to help the team decide how to complete the project: Who is responsible for what? How are we going to handle conflict? To whom do we go with questions? Break the project down into smaller goals, assign roles, and set deadlines. Ask your macromanager for clear objectives and KPIs (Key Performance Indicators) to track the team’s progress. Find out what the deliverable should look like and make sure everyone sees it the same way. Schedule periodic one-on-ones with your macromanager to provide updates and course correct if necessary. If these meetings are not weekly, email updates between them and request feedback.

What’s the bottom line? Employees of a macromanager have freedom and opportunity, but without structured leadership, they struggle to develop new skills and effectively collaborate with their team. If your macromanager is unwilling to get involved, is there a team member willing to lead the project? Is the team willing to follow this person? If so, then the team can get work done. Ask yourself: Am I willing to lead this team but let my macromanager take credit for it? Am I willing to lead this team and take blame for it? Am I willing to acknowledge another team member as the leader and follow her? Do I have the resources to do my own professional development? Working for a macromanager is emotionally and mentally draining. If you are up for the challenge, keep good notes for performance review time (and your resume).

Have you worked for a macromanager? Please share your experience in the comments section below.