Mardi Humphreys

Movin’ on Up

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I arrange my office furniture around the electric outlets. Is that weird? Hear me out. There are a finite number of outlets in my office. I have to plug in two monitors, docks for two computers, speakers, coffee cup warmer, desk lamp, phone charger, and air freshener. I not only need at least one power strip, but also to place my desk along the wall with the most outlets. We can think of our careers in the same way. If we’re trying to advance, we must get close to those in power.

Identify the Elvis

You’ve discovered a team/department with whom you’d like to work. Before declaring your intentions, see what you can find out about their manager (i.e., the Elvis) through some harmless stalking. Does your company’s website have biographies or resumes of the leadership team? How about an organizational chart on its intraweb? Does the Elvis have a LinkedIn profile? Get to know the people who are important to him. Pay attention to who his go-to direct reports are. Ask yourself how you can provide value to him. You can start by helping out his team. Do the tasks they either don’t have time for or don’t like.

Business Development

Managers are supposed to help their employees develop professionally, but if your current manager is happy with your performance, she may be more interested in keeping you where you are. It’s a hassle to replace you. If you’ve learned everything there is to know about your own role and aren’t interested in moving to the next position in your job family, (or maybe that role is filled by someone who isn’t going anywhere) you’ll have to develop yourself. Ultimately, you are responsible for your advancement.

Knowledge is Power

Do some discreet reconnaissance. Find out what positions in your company are (or soon will be) available, get the required skills if you lack them, find out how other teams work together, and think about what unique abilities you can contribute. Remember to also consider your career trajectory. Is this a lateral move? Will you lose any benefits? Will this position look good on your resume?

Fake it ‘til You Make it

There’s nothing wrong with sitting in a meeting, nodding, smiling, and taking notes; then going to your office, shutting the door, and Googling all the jargon and acronyms used during the meeting. If I can’t manage to act like I know what someone is talking about, I ask follow up questions. I hope to demonstrate my desire to learn is stronger than my fear of everyone knowing how ignorant I am on the subject.

Confidence Begets Confidence

Dress for the next position you want, not the one you have. Speak kindly to everyone, from the CEO to the janitor. Stand up straight, put your phone down, and look coworkers in the eye. You’ll be remembered as a desirable team mate, promote your brand, and expand your network; all of which you need to keep moving up in your career.

What are you doing to get to the next level? Please share in the comments section.

Time to Tune Out

Have you noticed in meetings there’s at least one team member on her phone, tablet, or laptop the entire time? She could be taking notes, but no one assumes that do we? Hopefully, we make enough eye contact with the client to indicate he has our full attention. If we’re in front of our screens this much at work, how much more are we in front of them outside of work, and how damaging is it?

Break the Binge

Most of us spend more time in front of screens than we realize. On the average, Americans watch over five hours of television a day, and almost four hours on our computers, tablets, and/or smartphones. If we turn them off, we can buy ourselves a huge chunk of our day back and maybe our relationships too. Can we really concentrate on the story our partners or kids are telling us if we’re distracted by the puppy video we just scrolled to on Instagram? With all that time we could read a book on personal development, walk the dog, or have coffee with a friend.

CVS is a Not Just a Drug Store

Computer Vision Syndrome (CVS) can happen when we spend hours looking at a computer or phone screen. When we use a computer at work, then go home and check our social media, that’s a lot of time exposed to screens. Do you use the 20-20-20 rule?

Couch Potato Chip

If we’re binge watching Netflix or spending the evening gaming after work, then we’re probably sitting still. If we aren’t moving around, we’re not burning calories or stretching our muscles, and we’re likely snacking. We’re not deeply connecting with people, but instead seriously considering feeding the Trolls. More good reasons to use the phone to either call a friend or play music while on the stationary bike instead of using it to cruise Twitter.

Put it Down and Walk Away

Here are the Mayo Clinic’s suggestions to help us put our devices away.

Here are mine:

Turn off notifications – If someone needs to get ahold of me in an emergency, they’re going to either text or call; not Facebook messenger me. Getting distracted by notifications on my phone throws me out of my flow while working. It takes so much time to recover, it’s not worth knowing which friends just added to their stories. Eliminating this distraction helps me be more productive and get things done then give my full attention to my friends Facebook stories at a more appropriate time.

Get rid of cable – My husband and I spent so many nights looking for (and failing to find) something to watch on our 189 cable television stations that when we moved three years ago, we didn’t bother subscribing to cable. We’ve found plenty to watch with an antenna and streaming services.

How do you convince yourself to step away from the screen? Please share your suggestions in the comments section.

Refresh for the Roaring 20’s

So here we are in a brand new decade. Are our old financial habits still serving us? Here are five ways we can spend less, save more, and live better.

Save it for a Rainy Day

Life happens. Sock some money away for unexpected events like car trouble, a dead refrigerator, or your child’s emergency room visit. I use Dave Ramsey’s advice on how much to set aside, but you may want to save more.

Goals are Good

We set S.M.A.R.T. goals for work, why not for our money? It’s good to have three: a long term goal for which it will take years to save like retirement (you may want to research IRA’s ), a medium term goal like a four week vacation driving the length of Route 66 (which could take a couple of years of saving), and a short term goal like purchasing a new laptop (which may only take a couple of months). It may be a good idea to arrange to have a percentage of our paychecks directly deposited to our savings accounts. We’re less tempted to spend money that’s a bit inaccessible. If we received a Christmas bonus, we should consider saving it toward our long or medium term goals. We won’t miss money we weren’t counting on.

Take a Picture, It Lasts Longer

Let’s get a snapshot of what our finances currently look like. Gather records like statements for investments, checking and savings accounts, and credit cards from last month. Where is all the money going? There are fixed expenses like the mortgage (or rent), loans (e.g., car, student), and utilities (e.g., gas, electricity) we have to pay every month. But to reach our savings goals, we may need to cut back on non-essentials. For example, do we use a food delivery service (Uber Eats, Grubhub, etc) a lot? Maybe it’s time to start cooking and food prepping instead. If we have debt that charges high interest (typically credit cards) we can use the money we save from not spending it on non-essentials and pay off the high-interest debt as fast as we can to save on finance charges.

I’m on the Hunt, I’m After You

Shopping online saves time, but when I’m trying to save money and the sweater I decided not to purchase keeps following me around from website to website as I check my social media (creepy, isn’t it?) begging me to buy it, it’s really hard to resist. So, I get offline and promise myself I won’t purchase the sweater (or whatever) until 48 hours have passed. If I can live without it for two days, I can probably live without it period.

Just do it

We shouldn’t wait to begin saving until we think we can afford to put some money aside. It’s likely that day will never come. Begin saving money immediately; even if it’s just $20 a week in a savings account. By the end of a year, we’ll have $1040, a nice emergency fund.

Have you updated your savings plan for 2020? Please share it in the comments section below.

What’s Wrong With Being Confident?

Here are a few women-in-leadership questions capturing my attention lately:

Q: In the churches I attended growing up, I was taught God created women to be men’s helpers so men are leaders and women are followers. I’m all about helping and my worldview is Biblical, but it often clashes with my ambition. I read about The Wife of Noble Character and get confused. She’s obviously a leader in the workforce, so why is it negative for women to lead?

A: You know how I love my data. Here’s a study of 19 key leadership capabilities. Women scored higher than men in 17 of the 19 capabilities, so why aren’t there more female CEO’s in America? Men assume they are competent to lead. Women assume we are not. This unconscious bias is ingrained in us and society just takes it as gospel. (See what I did there?) When hiring managers read a resume, they need to stop and think, “Based on track record, is this the right person for the job?” and avoid focusing on whether the person’s name is Joe or Joann.

Q: American society needs strong women, but when one steps up, we tear her down. The female 2020 Democratic Presidential candidates come to mind. Why do we do that?

A: In spite of progress women have made in the workforce, society still isn’t used to confident women. To rise in an organization, women must be both likable and outspoken. That’s a difficult tightrope to walk. To be likable, women are advised to share credit for a project’s success. This waters down our contributions and gives us no accomplishment to note at promotion time. On the other hand, women who excitedly speak up in meetings to promote our ideas risk being perceived as overbearing personalities; forfeiting our chances to pitch them to the client. This is a blow both to women’s confidence and to the company’s revenue.

Q: When a woman is vocal about owning her achievement, she’s usually perceived as aggressive. What can we do to support confident women?

A: Women typically approach a job like we approached school. We found out what our teacher wanted and gave it to her. On the job, we find out what our boss wants and give it to her. Then we wait to be rewarded with higher stakes projects, a pay raise, or a promotion, but because we’re quietly working no one notices. Women need to get brave and own our contributions. Will we be judged for that? Yes. Should we let that stop us? No. Haters gonna hate whether we speak up or not. When we see a woman tooting her own horn because she achieved success through hard work, we should pick up a megaphone and amplify her because the whole organization will benefit.

We (men and women) get further together than we do on our own. Let’s look for ways to build each other up instead of trying to one up each other. We spend so much time on the job, wouldn’t it be more pleasant to work under conditions like that?

What are some ways you support confident women in the workplace? Please share your tips in the comments section.

Not Your Grandmother’s Resolution

As we prepare to celebrate the end of 2019, (after tornadoes and a mass shooting here in Dayton, OH, we say good riddance) and prepare for 2020, we think about making New Year’s resolutions. How about instead of resolving to stop smoking or lose weight, let’s:

Treat others the way we want to be treated

For example, when I have a new project at work requiring the talents of someone from another team, I first approach the person whose talent I need and ask if he’s interested. If so, I then approach his manager and ask her permission to assign him to my project. I outline the work, the time I expect it to take, and how it will benefit both the talent and the company. Respectful communication helps us all get more work done.

Listen and learn

Let’s seek opportunities that put us in the same room with people who have different backgrounds and lifestyles than us and listen to their stories. I’ve gotten to know some excellent people by scheduling a follow-up coffee after meeting at a networking event. Seeing the world from someone else’s perspective expands our own.

Flip the script

Much like Joan Jett covering the Mary Tyler Moore Show theme, let’s do something unexpected. This takes a lot of energy. It’s easier to sit and complain about the way things are instead of leaving the break room and doing something about them. For example, if we usually wait to be asked for our ideas, let’s take initiative, write up a brief proposal, and email it to our manager.

Stop comparing

Our journeys are unique. If we compare ourselves to someone with fewer resources to make ourselves feel important, how petty is that? If we compare ourselves to someone further down the career path to make ourselves feel unimportant, how degrading is that? Let’s focus on improving our good habits one percent every day. Let’s only compare ourselves to who we were yesterday. Did we take a step toward our goals or improving our systems today? Let’s make that the bar we strive to meet.

Rise

For example, if we habitually complain about other women, why? Are we jealous? Do we think success was handed to them? Does it relieve us of the responsibility of hustle and sacrifice? Let’s stay in our lanes, assume they got where they are through hard work, and support them to advance even further. When we add value to someone’s life, the law of reciprocity kicks in and we can end up benefiting. Let’s intentionally lift each other up.

These resolutions build our self-esteem and confidence. Not only will we like ourselves more, but others will like us too, and that’s good for business. Some people light up the room when they walk in and some people light up the room when they walk out. In the new year, let’s aim to be the former.

Please share in the comments section how you resolve to stretch yourself in 2020.

Christmas Time is Here

The end of the year brings extra work at our companies: performance reviews, customer appreciations, year end financial closes, etc. Unfortunately these tasks happen at the same time we want to celebrate the holidays. How can we make the most of our time off work?

Unplug

This isn’t practical if we’re on call (doctors, firefighters, retailers, developers, you get the picture), but if we’re not, let’s avoid checking email the entire time we’re off. If we simply can’t bear the thought (guilty), limit it. How do we recognize our limit? If we’re constantly wondering whether or not that elusive client has replied yet, then for peace of mind, check. Consider checking email or noodling on projects at a set time every day (e.g., when you get up in the morning over coffee); only work at that time and for a certain amount of time (thirty to sixty minutes, maybe). I realized it was time to do this when my mom told me to stop checking my work email during our Thanksgiving meal prep.

Volunteer

We can go with a group or on our own. We can greet at our church’s Christmas Eve services or bag at our local food pantries. Giving our family and/or friends our full attention while serving our communities creates bonds that strengthens both our relationships and our mental health. Besides, we never know whom we might be serving alongside. Plenty of people meet potential employers while volunteering.

Relax

Holiday commitments often mean doing things we don’t want to (travel, making small talk with distant relatives, etc.). Let’s set aside a day, or at least a few hours, before January 2, to do something we want to do. Need some suggestions? If you’re an introvert, curl up with a book and hot cocoa or get that massage you desperately need but keep putting off. If you’re an extrovert, meet up with some friends for last-minute shopping, brunch, or a spa day.

Sleep

Time off is an opportunity to start a healthy routine of going to bed and getting up at the same time every day. If we’re visiting family or friends who want us to stay with them, but we have to crash on the couch, consider getting a hotel room. To me, having a place to retreat to rest is worth the cost.

Make Memories

Part of the fun of the holidays is remembering them for years afterward. Let’s create and participate in activities we can reminisce over. They don’t have to be expensive: make gingerbread cookies, embark on a selfie scavenger hunt, hold a board game tournament. Any activity that’s out of the ordinary (and maybe out of our comfort zones) will help us make memories to fondly recall in the years to come.

No matter how we choose to spend our time off, let’s commit to being present, eliminating as many distractions as possible, leaving our phones and laptops in another room, pushing some social engagements into January, and making time to focus on nurturing relationships and recharging ourselves.

Please share in the comments section how you intend to spend time away from work this holiday.

Spending the Holidays

We interrupt your regularly scheduled budget to bring you…the holidays. We want to buy lavish gifts for our persons, but struggling to pay student loans, spending half our paychecks on diapers, or saving aggressively for retirement, reminds us to be frugal. Here are some ways to save money on buying presents.

You Better Watch Out

The closer we get to the holiday, the farther the prices drop. The catch? Selection drops too. If there’s something specific you want to purchase, shop Black Friday or Cyber Monday. If not, wait until six days before the holiday. This rule of thumb doesn’t apply to shopping online. If you wait too long, shipping could cost more than the gift.

Making a List and Checking it Twice

As a note in my phone, I make a list of people I’m buying for. Then I ask myself, “Do I really have to buy gifts for all these people?” My husband? Yes. My coworker? Probably not; a hand written note of gratitude is best for some (e.g., coworker, boss, neighbor). If I’m concerned about hurting someone’s feelings, I communicate either directly or with a blanket social media post. (E.g., “I’m limiting gift buying this year and please don’t feel obligated to buy me anything.”) Next to each name, I write a dollar amount. This is my budget. Then I write in gift ideas. While I’m out and about shopping or online, I may find items on sale for one person that gives me wiggle room for someone else, but generally my budget is law and I stick to it. I resist the urge to impulse buy, which is easier while shopping online. When I’m at a mall, all the pretty lights, decorations, and music tempt me to go off list and over budget. As I mentioned in an earlier post, I try to pay in cash because the pain of physically handing over my hard earned money helps me stick to my budget.

Naughty or Nice?

Regifting is an option, but I’m kinda against it. Especially since I saw this.

Be Good for Goodness Sake

If I have a large gathering to attend, I enlist the help of the attendees. I initiate an email thread discussing options: Can we give group gifts (e.g., buy one gift for my sister-in-law, her husband, and their kids; like a streaming subscription, zoo membership, or a donation to their favorite cause)? How about setting a dollar limit and doing white elephant, Secret Santa, or just stocking stuffers?

Rooty Toot Toots

Time together is a gift when spent on intentional experiences: dinner out, a holiday performance followed by coffee, driving through light displays. Are you crafty? I’ve received some fabulous homemade gifts like from-scratch chocolate chip cookies and a hand-knitted Angora scarf that matched my winter coat.

Even someone who’s a responsible spender all year long can lose her mind at holiday time. If we bend to the pressure of spending more than we can afford, we buy ourselves guilt when the credit card bill arrives in January. If our recipient won’t remember in May what we gave her in December, let’s not spend a bunch of money on it.

Please share your tips for saving money on buying holiday gifts in the comments section.

This is How We Role

Does leading people scare you? Good. It means you care. The best leaders want the people in their charge to succeed. How can you achieve that? Model learning, networking, and resilience; like these women.

Learning: Katherine Johnson

You probably know her from the movie Hidden Figures. Katherine has been a brilliant mathematician since she was 13 years old. In 1939, she was the lone female of only three black students permitted to attend the graduate program in mathematics at West Virginia University. She began work at Langley Memorial Aeronautical Laboratory in 1953, where she was the only one John Glenn trusted to calculate the trajectory of his orbital flight around the earth. She is the author/co-author of 26 research reports. She cites helping synch Project Apollo’s Lunar Lander with the moon-orbiting Command and Service Module as her most important contribution to space exploration.

You may not be a STEM rockstar like Katherine, but you can build on your strengths and use them to inspire your team. Do you like to communicate? Is your delivery clear and concise? If your colleagues’ eyes glaze over when you present in meetings, maybe it’s time for a refresher on communication best practices.

Networking: Judy Robinett

Judy is “the woman with the titanium digital Rolodex.” She’s an entrepreneur, business thought leader, author, and she was profiled in Fast Company, Huffington Post, and Forbes for her reputation as a “super connector.” Judy says quality (your level of connection with someone) beats quantity when building a powerful network and there’s a limit on how many relationships we can juggle at one time. (Spoiler alert: it’s 150.)

You may not have a titanium digital Rolodex like Judy, but you have circles of influence. Dig deeper into these relationships. Find out what networking groups one of your coworkers attends and offer to be her wingman. None of your team mates have a networking group? Identify one you’d like to attend and ask at least one colleague to join you.

Resilience: Sheryl Sandberg

Sheryl graduated from Harvard University, helped make Google a profitable company, advocates for women in business through Lean In, authored two books, and as the COO at Facebook, is one of the wealthiest women in the world. But Sheryl is criticized for preaching at working mothers to remain in the workforce (because she can afford to hire staff to work both in her office and her home), her husband died suddenly in 2015 leaving her widowed with two children, and she got blamed for Facebook’s Cambridge Analytica scandal.

You may not have to defend your decisions on a national stage like Sheryl, but you’ll face customers’ anger while you’re wounded. Dealing with unpleasant situations under difficult circumstances gives you opportunity to show your direct reports emotional intelligence in action. The next time one of your clients is upset, take a team member with you to the client’s office to talk about resolution. This earns both the client’s and team member’s respect.

A role model inspires us to set goals, gives us the tools to reach them, and celebrates us when we do. If you do that, you are both a great leader and role model.

Please share the qualities you look for in a role model in the comments section.

Tidings of Comfort and Joy

And just like that…it’s December. Welcome to the end of the year! As we push to make our quotas, thank our customers for their business, and prepare for holiday celebrations, let’s schedule time in our calendars for play. You read me. I wrote p-l-a-y. There are plenty of opportunities this month for frivolity and we should take advantage of them for a very practical reason. Play helps us work.

Lynn Barnett, a professor of recreation, sports and tourism at the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign says, “At work, play has been found to speed up learning, enhance productivity and increase job satisfaction.” In this article, she also says, “Highly playful adults feel the same stressors as anyone else, but they appear to experience and react to them differently, allowing stressors to roll off more easily than those who are less playful.” In his book, Play: How it Shapes the Brain, Opens the Imagination, and Invigorates the Soul, Dr. Stuart Brown says, “Respecting our biologically programmed need for play can transform work. It can bring back excitement and newness to our job…work does not work without play.”

For example, when we concentrate on figuring out a problem, our minds can get stuck in an endless loop going over the same details. If we take a break and focus on something else, we get new data to process. Although it’s counterintuitive; the more stress we’re under, the more we need play in order to function. When we get up from our desks and move around, blood flow to our brains increases and we think better. If we walk to the break room and enter a conversation, we foster teamwork. These activities refresh our energy and can prevent burnout by letting our brains reboot and receive input that has nothing to do with our problem. We naturally apply this new data to our challenge. We start to think creatively. We stop thinking about how we’ve solved problems in the past. We stop worrying about the consequences for a minute and imagine what would happen if anything goes. This permits us to relax and look at it from another angle. The situation looks totally different if we’re standing on our heads instead of our feet. When we see something differently and present it in a new light, that’s innovation and it might just trigger a solution. Gymnastics anyone?

For play to have a positive effect on our work we should do it everyday, so we need to schedule it and give it priority. Play is an activity that has no purpose and is considered non-productive. We can do it alone or with others. Here are some examples of play that don’t necessarily cost money:

Read a book
Pet your pet
Watch your favorite artist’s concert footage on YouTube
Drive around looking at neighborhood Christmas lights
Toss a football
Crossword puzzles
Board games

George Bernard Shaw said, “We don’t stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing.” This holiday season when kids are defined as from one to ninety-two, let’s make time to play.

Please share how you’re going to incorporate play into your seasonal celebration in the comments section.

Time to be Thankful

Happy Thanksgiving! Work usually isn’t the first place we associate with gratitude. How would looking for opportunities to be thankful at our jobs this holiday week reinvigorate us?

“Be thankful for what you have; you’ll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don’t have, you will never, ever have enough.” —Oprah Winfrey

We attract what we focus on. If we focus on wanting what we have, we end up content. If we focus on what we don’t have, we become a bottomless pit of want. This week, let’s look around our workplaces for quality relationships and projects we’re thankful for; then think about how we can add value to them.

“When I started counting my blessings, my whole life turned around.” —Willie Nelson

That’s not just the marijuana talking. We have more going for us than we realize. Let’s take a few minutes this week to write down five things we identify as blessings from our work. Let’s pay attention to those five blessings and see how they grow.

“Reflect upon your present blessings, of which every man has plenty; not on your past misfortunes, of which all men have some.” —Charles Dickens

This week, let’s stop dwelling on our past mistakes. We can’t change them, but we can set up triggers so we don’t make them again. Failure is just information gathering. Misfortune happens to everyone. Life is famous for throwing curveballs. All we can do is prepare for them as best we can then get up, dust ourselves off, and get back on the field.

“We must find time to stop and thank the people who make a difference in our lives.” ― John F. Kennedy

Let’s look around our workplaces and identify the teammates who make our jobs easier. Let’s make it a point this week to thank them and be specific. Did you get stuck with an angry customer on the sales floor and your coworker came over to de-escalate the situation? Thank her. Let’s build our support network by expressing our gratitude.

“What separates privilege from entitlement is gratitude.” ― Brené Brown

We didn’t get this job by ourselves. We either used our network, circle of influence, or references to get where we are. Let’s take a minute this week to send a thank-you email to the person who recommended us for this position. We wouldn’t be putting turkey on the table without them.

“Got no checkbooks, got no banks. Still I’d like to express my thanks – I’ve got the sun in the mornin’ and the moon at night.” ― Irving Berlin

Sometimes we can’t think of a single thing to be thankful for. Let’s at least be grateful for another day to go to work and make a positive difference in someone’s life.

“Be grateful for what you have and stop complaining – it bores everybody else, does you no good, and doesn’t solve any problems.” ― Zig Ziglar

Don’t hold back, Zig. Tell us what you really think. He’s harsh, but correct. Let’s exude gratitude at work this week. Maybe we can start a chain reaction of thankfulness that will make everyone’s week more pleasant.

How will you express your gratitude this week? Please share your intentions in the comments section below.