Stress – Page 2 – mardihumphreys.com

High Pay Can Cost You

Welcome to the final article in our Toxic Traits series. In part one,
we asked what’s up with the toxicity-in-the-workplace trend. Part two
suggested what managers can do to mitigate its effects. Part three
explored how individual contributors can make workplaces less toxic. Now let’s talk about your wallet.

The allure of a high-paying job can be irresistible. You can have financial security. You can afford luxuries. You can climb up a rung or three on the social-status ladder. But those perks come with a hidden cost when the workplace environment is toxic.

The Pros

Stability: You can pay off debt, build savings, invest in property, and afford quality healthcare and education for both you and your family.

Comfort: You can upgrade your housing, travel more often, and participate in expensive hobbies.

Opportunities: Working in a high-stakes, high-paying environment offers valuable experience and visibility to leadership. These roles can be stepping stones to even more lucrative and prestigious positions within the organization.

The Cons

Stress: The constant negativity of a hostile work environment eventually destroys your productivity. Chronic stress leads to burnout, depression, and anxiety disorders. Stress also manifests physically through headaches, high blood pressure, diabetes, and/or a weakened immune system.

Balance: Toxic workplaces often demand excessive hours and emotional investment that erode the boundaries between your work and personal life. This imbalance strains relationships and reduces time available for self-care and fun.

Ethics: Working in a toxic environment may require you to compromise your principles. This creates internal conflict over moral dilemmas and reduces your self-esteem and professional integrity.

Only you can decide whether the financial benefits of a high-paying job in a toxic workplace are worth the negative impact. Some questions to ask yourself: How far will your resilience stretch? How long will these circumstances last? How patient will your support systems be?

Your Choice

The financial security and career advancement may outweigh the negative aspects, especially if you have effective coping mechanisms and strong external support. But do not underestimate the toll a toxic work environment takes on your mental and physical health, relationships, and overall happiness. The tipping point where toxicity outweighs financial compensation differs for everyone. Here are a few clues the job is no longer worth it.

Health: When your physical or mental health problems become obvious and unmanageable. When you always feel physically exhausted, mentally detached, and/or emotionally numb.

Relationships: When your personal relationships suffer significantly due to your work-related stress and unavailability.

Happiness: When the job requires compromising your values to the point where it affects your self-respect, you lose your sense of purpose, or the grind is relentless.

When You Can’t Leave Yet

If you depend on this job to pay your bills and can’t quit yet, recognize the signs of intolerable toxicity, evaluate your circumstances, and be proactive in mitigating its negative impacts.

Boundaries: Define, communicate, and maintain boundaries between your work life and your personal life to protect your time and relationships.

Cope: Lean on friends, family, and/or professional counselors to help you maintain both your mental and physical health. Relieve your stress through exercise, meditation, hobbies, or whatever self-care looks like for you.

Strategize: Invest in certifications that will open doors to better opportunities elsewhere. Attend networking events and connect with people who work in organizations you’d like to work for. Hire a career coach to help you prepare for your future. It’s good to have hope.

Have you ever worked in a toxic workplace because the job paid well? Was the compensation worth it? Please share in the comments.

Employees Engage

If you’re just joining us, we are in part 3 of 4 in our Toxic Traits series. So far, we’ve thought about why toxicity in the workplace seems to be on the rise and what managers can do to make the workplace less toxic.

Have you seen any Reels like these lately? Social media amplifies discussions about workplace issues, bringing visibility to toxic behaviors that used to be overlooked. While these videos make you laugh as well as feel seen, they don’t exactly help you solve your toxicity problem. Through collaboration, inclusivity, communication, and mutual respect you can help transform your workplace into an environment where both employer and employees thrive. This solution seems simple, but it’s not easy. So, what can employees do to make your workplace less toxic?

Communicate Effectively: Interact respectfully with colleagues and supervisors. Commit to constructive communication and use the appropriate medium. For example: When you feel like someone belittled your idea in a reply-all email, instead of immediately defending your position, reply all with, “I’d like to learn more. I’ll set up a call for you and I to go deeper.” Showing curiosity in their input signals you have an open mind. Pulling the issue out of the group email demonstrates emotional intelligence. By the way, keeping your mind open does not mean you have to change it.

Support Peers: Foster a collaborative atmosphere by helping your teammates. For example: When someone new joins your team, think about what you wish you’d known when you were in their shoes. Are there certain reference documents in the shared drive they should know about? Does the team take turns buying coffee? Offer to be available to answer their questions.

Engage Constructively: Participate positively in meetings to build a sense of community. For example: When your weekly check-ins start off with what went wrong, call out a teammate who helped make it right.

Manage Stress: Practice self-care to maintain personal well-being. Establish and maintain healthy boundaries around time spent on work. For example: When you receive a work email during Jeopardy! do NOT reply.

Report Issues: Speak up about toxic behaviors using appropriate channels. For example: When you repeatedly get left out of emails containing information pertinent to your responsibilities on the project, get face time with the source and ask them to add you to the thread. You do not have to be confrontational. Concentrate on the call to action. You can say, “Will you please add me to the email list for the project? It has come to my attention I need that information to complete my part of it. I can wait while you do that right now.”

Help Others: Embrace opportunities to stay engaged. For example: When your marketing department needs an extra hand hosting a table at an event your organization is sponsoring, volunteer to help. This gives you insight into another department, feedback on how your work contributes to your organization’s brand, and a networking opportunity.

Both employers and employees have crucial roles to play in growing a healthy workplace culture. It takes perseverance, but working together will decrease toxicity, increase productivity, and promote overall well-being for everyone in the organization.

Have you ever worked in a toxic workplace? What did you do to make it less toxic? Please share in the comments.

Managers Matter

Last week we wondered if workplaces are becoming more toxic in part one of our series, Toxic Traits. The growing awareness of the effect of employment on mental health keeps workplace cultures under scrutiny. We talked about possible causes and listed some clues to watch for. Every employee of an organization at every level influences its culture. This week let’s talk about how managers impact your work environment.

The Role of Control

Excessive control, whether through micromanagement or rigid policies, can lead to feelings of powerlessness and frustration among employees. On the other hand, a lack of control or guidance can create confusion and insecurity contributing to stress and dissatisfaction. To successfully supervise a team, managers must balance guidance with agency. Your team should have a clear mission as well as feel trusted to perform their duties.

Set Them Up for Success

Empowering employees with decision-making authority on how to meet their key performance indicators develops an individual contributor’s sense of ownership and accountability. Providing clear direction, like establishing monthly goals and coaching on how to reach them, sets your team up for success. When you balance oversight with autonomy you significantly reduce the potential for toxicity. Here are some suggestions.

Open Communication: Encourage transparency and honest feedback through regular check-ins with each member of your team. Allow your direct reports to voice their concerns without fear of retaliation. Address any issues quickly. This both prevents escalation and builds trust.

Clear Expectations: Define roles, responsibilities, and goals. Make sure they are realistic. When circumstances change, revisit them. Every six months at one of your check-ins, analyze how the last six months went. Align expectations for the next six months.

Work-Life Integration: Can you offer flexible working hours, remote work options, and/or resources for mental health and emotional well-being like an employee assistance program (EAP)? Can you budget for investing in professional training and personal development opportunities for your team? Continuing education in communication, leadership, and diversity will not only help them grow and feel valued, it will positively impact your organization’s bottom line. At the very least, ensure your employees take regular breaks and use their vacation days.

Foster Inclusivity: Create a culture of respect and belonging where diversity is valued and discrimination is not tolerated. Implement and enforce policies that protect against harassment and other toxic behaviors. Promote teamwork and collaboration to build strong, supportive relationships among coworkers. Check your hiring and promotion processes for hidden biases. Monitor your team’s workload distribution. Is one person doing all the heavy lifting?

Recognize Progress: Acknowledge employees’ hard work and achievements and reward them with public praise, an email to your Director, lunch with the C-Suite, or a gift card. Learn what type of recognition makes them feel valued and use it to reward them.

Lead by Example: Demonstrate the values and positive behaviors you want to see from your team. You set the tone for the organization.

Both employers and employees have a role in preventing workplace toxicity. Next week in part three of this series, Toxic Traits, we’ll look at some of the ways employees can promote a healthy work culture.

Have you ever worked in a toxic workplace? What was your manager’s role in the toxicity? Please share your story in the comments.

All the Feels

Does your workplace feel more toxic lately? Behavior once normalized or ignored is now being challenged and more openly addressed. Is there really more recognition and willingness to confront existing issues? Or have additional pressures and rapid changes in modern work environments actually increased their toxicity?

What Is Going On?

The stressors COVID-19 introduced, like remote work challenges and layoffs, heightened feelings of toxicity. Since the end of the pandemic, lots of other factors have surfaced. For example, the accelerated pace of digital transformation, heavier workloads due to short staffing, and a greater emphasis on productivity. Societal issues like economic instability, Artificial Intelligence advancements, and disagreements over national and local politics add to a workplace’s toxicity. The expanding gig economy introduces new stressors, like job insecurity and isolation, which can worsen feelings of toxicity.

Are Workplaces Inherently Toxic?

No, but certain conditions can foster toxicity if left unchecked. The nature of a workplace depends on its culture, management, and habits. Toxicity comes from a combination of ingredients like poor leadership, lack of clear communication, unrealistic expectations, the absence of support systems, and unaddressed conflicts. A workplace culture that rewards open communication, values employee well-being, and practices mutual respect is less likely to be toxic. On the other hand, a highly competitive culture that prioritizes results over well-being can breed toxicity if not managed properly.

How Can You Tell?

High Turnover: A constant influx and outflow of employees suggests dissatisfaction and a problematic workplace culture. For example: Have 28% of your new coworkers left within the first 90 days of their employment?

Low Engagement: Disinterest, lack of self-motivation, cynicism, and minimal participation in workplace activities are red flags. For example: How many people actually showed up for the annual company picnic last year?

Poor Communication: Ineffective communication channels, lack of transparency, and withheld information contribute to mistrust and confusion leading to frequent misunderstandings among team members. For example, in the last week, how many meetings that should have been emails did you attend?

Work-Life Imbalance: Excessive overtime, unrealistic deadlines, and constant pressure lead to stress and burnout. For example: When you ask your manager when a project is due is their standard answer, “Yesterday.”?

Negative Interactions: Bullying, gossip, and cliques create a hostile and divisive atmosphere. Any form of prejudice or harassment, whether subtle or overt, contributes significantly to toxicity. For example: When you go to the break room and your manager is in a whispered conversation with your coworker, do they look at you with startled expressions, stop talking, and leave the room.

Unfair Practices: Favoritism, discrimination, and unequal treatment undermine morale and trust. For example: Are the ideas you suggest in meetings frequently ignored, then a few minutes later someone else presents your idea as their own and it’s considered brilliant?

Micro Managers: Excessive control by supervisors and lack of employee autonomy stifle creativity, lead to resentment, and reduce job satisfaction. For example, if your manager is in the office, do you have to be in the office too?

Both employers and employees have a responsibility to make sure their work environments do not turn toxic. Next week in part two of this series, Toxic Traits, we’ll talk about how employers can ensure a healthy workplace.

Were you ever employed in a toxic workplace? What was your first hint that the culture was toxic? Please share in the comments.

Assess Your Alignment

This is part two of four in the series, Stop and Think. Last week we began our discussions on reflection. We talked about how you spent your time at work since January and how you can use that information to decide how to spend the rest of your year. Given that insight, let’s spend some energy thinking about why you should adjust your current work goals for the rest of 2024.

Everything Changes

Last week you saw how far you’ve come and how much farther you want to go. This reevaluation is crucial. Do not feel bad for rethinking your goals. They should not be static. They should progress as you do. If your reflection revealed that some of the goals you set in January for 2024 no longer align with your values or circumstances, then adjust them. Here are some things to think about.

Have your circumstances changed? For example, Did you get reassigned to a different department? If so, then it will take some time to acclimate to your new tasks and team.
Has what you accomplished in the last six months influenced what you want to do next? For example, did exceeding your key performance indicators every month for the last six months prompt your manager to give you a high visibility project? To do well on the new project you may have to push pause on other goals.
Have your priorities shifted? For example, have you taken on a caregiver role at home? This may require you to negotiate for a hybrid or remote work situation and flexible hours.

You Have Options

The answers to these questions do not mean you have to abandon your ambitions. They ensure your goals serve you instead of you serving your goals. For example, let’s say one of your goals in January was to complete a degree or certification by December. Here you are in June and your progress is slower than you expected. Are you going to rush through the material and accept barely-passing marks so you can graduate by your original deadline? Or are you going to extend your graduation timeline into 2025 so you can better learn and retain the material, pass the exams with flying colors, and make your completion both more meaningful and more useful?

You Are SMART

You can apply the SMART (Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant, Time-bound) goal framework to help you decide. Building on the above example, let’s say completing a certification was a goal in January then you got reassigned to a new department in April. You can ask yourself if completing the certification by December is a SMART goal. A SMART goal verifies why the goal you want to achieve is relevant, but it does not tell you how you are going to achieve that goal. For that you need a system of processes that support your SMART goals and help you address obstacles. Next week in part three of our series, we will talk about how to use your reflections to create a strategic plan for reaching your updated SMART goals.

How does defining why you need to adjust your goals help you achieve them? Please share in the comments.

Emotional Granularity

You’ve probably heard the advice that when you feel nervous, like before a presentation, you should tell yourself that you are not nervous, you are excited. By doing this, you turn the negative emotion into a positive one.

You’ve probably sat behind your computer trying to solve a difficult problem and suddenly your body feels like it ran a marathon. You think, “What is wrong with me? All I’ve done for the last hour is sit here and I’m exhausted.” When you feel frustrated, it’s not always because something is wrong, it may be because something is emotionally hard.

There is neuroscience behind these mindsets. For the health of your brain, as well as the rest of your body, take your process for dealing with your fight, flight, or freeze response a step further and recategorize stressful emotions.

What Is Emotional Granularity?

The next level of emotional intelligence is emotional granularity. It is the ability to precisely label your emotions at the time you are having them. This is a coping mechanism that helps you be more spontaneously resilient during a stressful situation. When you can recognize an emotion and label it, you can regulate it. You gain more control over the outcome of the situation you’re in at the time you are in it. While you can’t stop feeling emotions, you can decide how to act on them to create the results that most benefit you.

How Can You Use It?

You probably mentally place the label “negative” on the emotions you perceive as unpleasant. But emotions are neither positive nor negative. Emotions are electrical impulses in your brain signaling that what you’re experiencing is something you care about. For example, let’s say you are gearing up for your annual job performance review and you are dreading it. What would happen if you told yourself you feel determination instead of dread? You would be able to change your reality. You would prepare differently. If you dread, then maybe you avoid preparing for the review until the last minute because you don’t like the way it makes you feel. If you recategorize dread as determination, then as soon as your review date is scheduled, you pull out your Atta Baby file and revisit all the goals you met during the last year as well as the praise you received for your job performance. Now you have the documentation to remind the organization of your value. Now you have the confidence to prove your worth. Now that emotion is a force driving you to a more positive outcome.

Why Should You?

When you are in a situation that makes you feel anxious, your body is trying to tell you something. Instead of making a snap decision, stop and ask yourself why you feel the way you do. Paying attention to those feelings and getting curious about what is causing them gives you options for how to deal with them. The discomfort is rolling around in your brain anyway. You may as well catch the emotion, unravel it, and make it work for you.

How do you reframe your unpleasant emotions? Please share in the comments.

Underwhelmed

I was introduced to the concept of boreout in Adam Grant’s book, Hidden Potential, and it’s fascinated me ever since. You’ve heard of, and probably experienced, burnout caused by your job. It’s when you are exhausted by too much emotional, physical, and mental fatigue for too long. Boreout is the same exhaustion, but the cause is different. Instead of being overwhelmed by the stimulation of your job, you are underwhelmed by it.

What It Looks Like

You arrive at work each morning facing the same tasks you mastered ages ago. You complete a monotonous routine that offers no room for growth or innovation while constantly checking the clock and counting down the minutes until you can leave. There’s no challenge and no sense of accomplishment. You go through the motions while your skills stagnate, your creativity dwindles, and your enthusiasm decreases with each passing day. You feel apathetic and frustrated. These emotions can spill over into other areas of your life, affecting your relationships and overall well-being. Here are some questions to ask yourself if you suspect you’re suffering from boreout.

Is your comfort zone too comfortable?
Are you running on empty energy-wise?
Do you procrastinate more often?
Are you disengaged with your work and coworkers?
Is your productivity slipping?
Do simple tasks feel burdensome?
Do you feel indifferent to meeting deadlines or achieving goals?
Are you questioning the purpose of your role within the organization?
Do you feel like a cog in a machine rather than a valued contributor?
Has your job performance suffered?
Are you progressing on your career path?
Are you increasingly irritable?
Do you feel detached from friends and family?

How to Combat It at Work

Seek Challenges: Talk to your manager about taking on stretch assignments. Work with them to identify new projects or responsibilities that align with your capabilities. Ask where the skills gaps are on your team then volunteer to learn the competencies that are missing. Online courses, in-person workshops, and mentorship opportunities all broaden your skill set and keep you engaged. Increasing your knowledge base and your network both expands your comfort zone and breaks your cycle of boredom. Experimenting with new approaches to old challenges promotes continuous improvement, injects creativity into your work, and helps you build relationships. Host brainstorming sessions and collaborations with colleagues to spark fresh ideas and gather diverse perspectives. Explore unconventional paths to solutions together embracing failure as a learning opportunity rather than a setback. Everyone suffers from boreout at some point. Surround yourself with coworkers who inspire and motivate you so you can support and encourage each other when needed.

Set Goals: You don’t have to wait for your manager to give you something new to do. Set SMART (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, Time-bound) personal development goals for yourself, both short-term and long-term, that align with your values and career aspirations. Having something to work towards gives you a sense of purpose and direction. Break down larger objectives into manageable tasks, track your progress, and celebrate every completed step.

Establish Boundaries: Strive for healthy work-life integration by prioritizing self-care. Take regular breaks throughout the day to recharge and refocus. Go for a walk or do whatever helps you clear your mind and boost your energy level. Set, communicate, and protect non-business hours so you can disconnect from work to do things you enjoy and be with people you enjoy. BTW, if the only person you want to be with is you, that is valid!

How do you fight boreout? Please share in the comments.

Time is Up

Wouldn’t life be so much easier if it gave us clues when it’s time to change like Peter Brady’s voice? How can you tell when the time has come to change your work situation?

Frustration

Do you feel disengaged in your current role?
Are you unable to use your skills and strengths in your job?
Do you feel like you’ve plateaued and there is no clear path for advancement?
If the answers are yes, is the situation likely to improve?

Toxicity

Do you get the Sunday Scaries?
Is your workplace full of negative energy?
Are you micromanaged?
Is there a lack of communication between leadership and individual contributors?
Does your manager expect you to follow their instructions even if they are unethical?
Do you feel harassed?
These are signs of a toxic environment. How toxic does your work culture have to be before you leave it?

Control

Do you have autonomy over the work you do?
Do you feel adequately valued and paid for your contributions?
Do you have multiple managers who communicate with each other regarding your workload?
Are your boundaries around work-life integration respected?
When you present your managers with documentation of your high performance, do you receive positive incentive to perform even higher?
If the answers are no, is it time to look for a new work situation?

Persistent dissatisfaction indicates you need some kind of change. Figuring out what that change is requires introspection, self-awareness, and a willingness to take action. Prioritize your well-being, financial stability, and long-term goals, then try these steps.

Options: Before making any decisions, take time to assess your capabilities, define what kind of work you want to do, and how you envision your future. Research potential job opportunities and consider how they align with those three things. Use your network to discover what possibilities are available and to help you make connections. Do the research on your personal devices and on your own time. Also, be discreet about whom in your network you trust with your inquiries.

Finances: Health insurance and retirement plans are a thing, y’all. If your current job offers these benefits, weigh the financial implications of leaving against the potential benefits of changing employers. Can you make a move within your organization? Since you’ve done a self-assessment (see the paragraph above) can you craft your own job description that fills current staffing gaps, allows you to work with a new team, and retains your benefits?

Side Gigs: A side gig is both a creative outlet and an opportunity for skill development. Before going public, make sure it doesn’t conflict with your primary job responsibilities or violate any employment agreements. If your side gig shows potential, maybe it’s your next full-time gig. Think critically before transitioning to self-employment. Do you have enough savings to pay your bills for a year? Is there demand for what you do? Is the forecast for that demand positive for the next 5-10 years? Will you grow to hate your side gig if you have to do it for a living?

What would cause you to consider a change? Please share in the comments.

Crypto Crooks

In the wake of the recent Bitcoin ATM scam, I was asked what I know about cryptocurrency. I know just enough to be dangerous. What concerns me the most is how easily and how often it is used in fraud. Here is what I found out for you.

What is a Crypto-wallet?

It’s a digital tool to store, send, and receive cryptocurrencies like Bitcoin, Ethereum, Tether, etc. As of March 2024, there were about 8,985 active cryptocurrencies you could store in a crypto-wallet. It consists of a pair of cryptographic keys: a public key (your wallet address) and a private key (your password). There are different types of wallets. For example, hardware wallets are physical devices that store your private keys offline. Software wallets are apps or programs installed on your computer or mobile device. Online wallets are hosted by cryptocurrency exchanges or other online platforms. Not all cryptocurrency wallets are equal in terms of security, so do your due diligence. Choose a wallet based on criteria like security features, reputation, and ease of use. Read reviews from legitimate sources. Keep your private keys secure and do not share them with anyone.

What is a Cypto-exchange?

It’s an online platform where users buy, sell, and trade cryptocurrencies for other digital assets or traditional currencies like dollars. Exchanges vary in terms of security, fees, available cryptocurrencies, and regulatory compliance. Research and choose reputable exchanges that have strong security measures like multi-factor authentication (MFA). If you have a large amount of cryptocurrency consider storing it in a hardware wallet instead of keeping it on the exchange.

What’s AI Got to Do with It?

Scalable Scams: Artificial Intelligence (AI)-powered tools automate scam campaigns so criminals can attack a lot of potential victims simultaneously. For example, AI algorithms analyze large, publicly available datasets, like from your social media platforms. If you have significant cryptocurrency holdings or actively participate in cryptocurrency communities, scammers can precisely identify you and tailor their outreach to your preferences.

Social Engineering: AI can generate phishing emails, text messages, and websites that mimic legitimate cryptocurrency platforms or services and look extremely authentic. Do not give your Personally Identifiable Information (PII) to anyone or any app during a transaction you did not originate.

Deepfakes: AI-driven deepfake technology produces realistic videos and audio recordings of prominent figures in the cryptocurrency industry. Criminals use this content to deceive potential investors. For example, spreading false information or endorsing fraudulent projects.

Safety First

Your money in a bank has FDIC protection. Your money in a cryptocurrency account has no protection. Cryptocurrency’s inherent anonymity not only makes it attractive to criminals it also makes it easy for them to threaten you into doing something you cannot undo. How can you protect yourself in the cryptocurrency space?

Verify the legitimacy of the institution you send cryptocurrency to before sending it.
Ask questions. For example, if multi-factor authentication is not offered, ask for it.
Remain calm and reject any pressure to make snap decisions. Refuse to give out your PII (e.g., social security number, bank account number, etc.) just because they demand it.
Do not send cryptocurrency to anyone you have not met in person or to anyone (even a friend or relative) who texts or emails you with an urgent need for money. Either call that person using the phone number from your contact list or go see them in person.

What do you think we should know about cryptocurrency? Please share your experience in the comments.

Sustainable Success

What happens when you compare your job performance to your coworkers’ and you are not flattered by the comparison? You feel like you can’t mess up. Ever. You fight to be #1, and discover how hard it is to stay #1. You stick to the routines that proved successful in the past instead of trying new things which stifles your creativity, experimentation, and innovation. Beating the competition becomes more important to you than your customer’s satisfaction. What can you do to turn things around?

Team of Rivals

It’s normal to see your coworkers’ job performance, notice your manager’s reaction to it, and gauge how you are doing. You feel good when you compare favorably and nervous when you don’t. This habit is probably most obvious, and even formalized, in a company’s sales department where top salespeople are rewarded more than bottom ones creating internal competition among the team. Instead of comparing yourself to colleagues, how about setting incremental goals for yourself? Make them flexible so you can embrace change, be open to new approaches, and bounce back after disappointments. For example, using our sales scenario, if you did not reach your quota last month, would another 10 cold calls a day help you reach it this month? Your capacity to adapt will not only set you apart, but also carry you through inevitable setbacks.

Abundance Over Scarcity

Instead of being threatened by your coworkers’ success, how about using it for motivation? Continuous learning is a cornerstone of professional development and identifies you as a leader. Seek opportunities for upskilling so you stay relevant in your ever-evolving market. Make resilience in the face of adversity one of your goals. Swap your fear of not being good enough for curiosity. For example, analyze the differences between you and a successful coworker to discover capabilities you should obtain. There will be enough opportunities for everyone because you will create them. Factor self-compassion into your goal setting. It will help you maintain a positive mindset and reduce self-criticism. Be kind to yourself by celebrating your achievements, no matter how small.

You Are Your Competition

Instead of focusing on competing with your colleagues, how about shifting your mindset to competing with yourself? Strive to become an expert in your field. Set goals focused on personal growth so you are not only valuable to your organization, but also to your profession. State your goals using phrases that describe process improvement. For example, improve on, get better at, grow in. You want to be better than YOU were yesterday not better than OTHERS are today. Set small, specific, easily-achievable goals to quickly boost your self-confidence. Maintain and refine your learning through regular practice. Whether it’s honing your presentation skills, becoming a more efficient project manager, or perfecting your coding techniques, steady progress helps you retain knowledge and discover new skills to learn next.

Measuring your self-worth by whether or not you meet monthly Key Performance Indicators (KPI) does not set you up for sustainable success. When some variables are not under your control, you can try your best and still fall short of the organization’s goal for you. Align your goals with your values and aspirations, not with external benchmarks or the achievements of your team. It’s surprising how often you meet monthly KPI when you set goals that are personally meaningful to you.

How do you prevent comparing yourself to your coworkers? Please share in the comments.