Relationships – mardihumphreys.com

Money to Give

For the last two weeks we’ve talked about giving both your energy and your attention to your coworkers in our current series, Give a Little Bit. This week in Part 3, let’s examine how you give your money to your coworkers and neither one of you realizes it.

From Conforming to Transforming

A scarcity mindset breeds competition, anxiety, and ultimately, limits. But with an abundance mindset, you create value that leads to growth not only for you but also your entire team. When you begin to treat your job as an art, you look for opportunities to give your art away. For example: When you share knowledge it is upskilling that your coworkers don’t have to pay for. The result is continuous improvement that saves the company money. Hopefully you will benefit in the short term. But even if you don’t, you will in the long-term. People need things and place value on those who can meet those needs. Your teammates have networks. They will happily introduce you to those connections because your habitual generosity will make them look good. If you were trained to conform to the belief that taking as much as you can is how you succeed, then do the opposite because that doesn’t work any more. Transform your mindset and habits to give as much as you can without expecting anything in return.

What It Can Look Like

Mentorship: Support newer team members or coworkers who would like some guidance. This helps you practice leadership and signals you’re invested in the group’s success, not just your own.

Visibility: Speak up on behalf of colleagues who are doing good work, especially if they’re uncomfortable amplifying themselves. By elevating others when they are not in the room, your acts of generosity make you someone others want to be close to.

How It Can Backfire

Being generous is the way to go, but I’m not going to lie. It can be hard. Here are a few obstacles you may face and how to handle them:

Misinterpretation: In highly competitive settings, your generosity might initially be seen as a tactic rather than genuine support. Keep going. When you behave consistently and with transparency, your actions eventually demonstrate your authenticity.

Limited Recognition: By focusing on your team, you may get lost in the background. Document and occasionally showcase your contributions to remind your manager of your worth and positive impact.

Taking Advantage: This is probably the first thing you thought of, right? If your environment is built on taking, then you are setting yourself up as a target for your teammates to take advantage of your generosity. The bad news is there will probably be some coworkers who insist on operating in a scarcity mindset. They will interpret your generosity as a weakness. These are the teammates you’ll have to set and hold your boundaries with. The good news is they cannot diminish how modeling generosity accelerates your own achievements.

At the end of the workday, it doesn’t matter how your teammates react to your generosity. When you maintain a mindset of abundance backed by practical acts of generosity the money follows. Generosity is a leadership skill you can put on your resume, on your LinkedIn profile, and talk about in your next job interview.

What knowledge do you generously share with your teammates? Please share it with us in the comments.

Attention to Give

Last week we talked about how a mindset of generosity can positively impact your team’s energy at work in Part 1 of our series, Give a Little Bit. I received feedback suggesting my theory worked in a perfect world. Since none of us live in that branch of the multiverse, let’s discuss how being generous with your attention helps you both stand out and earn respect in a workplace filled with competition.

Some organizations intentionally set their employees up to compete against one another to drive job performance. (I’m lookin’ at you, Sales.) While ambition can be motivating, too much competition can create a limited mindset. For example, this research supports my theory that when you feel like the only way you win is when someone else loses, that is a limited mindset. If you have an unlimited mindset, then you believe your talent and hard work will produce growth; not only for yourself, but also for your team and organization. If you choose creating value over playing a zero-sum game, then you are generous. Your initiative produces innovation, opportunities, and a big payoff for everyone involved. Generosity, cooperation, and mutual growth become your strategies, and they set you apart in a competitive work environment.

Try Coopetition

Keeping tabs on your coworkers isn’t a bad idea. It can help you understand how to bring more value to your role and inspire you to up your game. But one-upping your coworkers can get toxic fast. Instead, focus on assisting your competition to achieve their part of the organization’s mission by cooperating with them. I like to call that “coopetition”. In this case, generosity is about sharing credit, knowledge, and encouragement. When you’re generous, you create a reputation for being reliable, approachable, and self-assured. People respect those who support others. Here are a couple of suggestions.

Shift the Attention: The next time you achieve a success, publicly acknowledge everyone who played a part. This expands the spotlight to shine on the team rather than just you. It makes you look both gracious and confident. You can do this in an email to your manager and the company’s leadership and copy the team.

Share Knowledge Regularly: Make a habit of sharing resources, insights, or tips that could help others succeed. When a coworker sees you aren’t holding back to stay ahead, it increases their trust in you.

Be the Advantage

The way to outshine your competition is by choosing collaboration over rivalry. In highly competitive workplaces, everyone is vying for attention individually. Standing out by being a team player when others are focused on personal recognition signals your strong leadership. While others focus on showing why they’re better than their peers, you are the one who knows how to leverage the strengths of everyone around you. For example, Take the initiative to propose projects that benefit multiple people or departments. By setting up opportunities for others to succeed alongside you, you create positive exposure for yourself while enlisting allies across teams. Generosity helps you build a brand that will last longer than any competitive win. Experiment with coopetition and let me know what happens.

How has generously giving attention to your coworkers differentiated you from your competition? Please share in the comments.

Energy to Give

We have officially entered the season of giving. As we prepare for the end-of-the-year holidays, for the next four weeks, Let’s talk about a mindset of generosity and how it can positively impact your T.E.A.M. at work.

Generosity at work is a game changer. Not only does it create a synergistic environment that enhances productivity, but it also elevates your own job performance and brand. Whether you’re working on a team project, collaborating across departments, or sharing your subject matter expertise, supporting your coworkers pays dividends. But what does that look like?

Short-Term Challenge

Let’s say you’re part of a team project where deadlines are tight, and tensions are high. Even though your workload is heavy, you can’t help noticing your newly hired teammate struggling to complete their part of the project. You pause what you’re doing and offer to help them get unstuck. You listen as they explain their challenge. You ask a few insightful questions. You help them figure out for themselves what their next step is and you both move on with your own work. Your support not only empowered them to succeed but also reinforced your leadership skills. You demonstrated empathy, initiative, and emotional intelligence; all key traits of effective leaders. These traits enhance your ability to influence without authority, a crucial skill in any workplace. Plus, the rest of your team watched what you did. This simple act of generosity has a ripple effect. You created a sense of camaraderie that will improve morale, encourage a more positive work environment, and strengthen your team’s relationships. Let’s break down what you did and analyze its long-term benefits.

Long-Term Benefit

Trust: When supporting your colleagues is your normal behavior, you become a go-to person. You train your coworkers to rely on you. As you help others grow, you solidify your reputation as a valuable team player. This trust translates into getting more work done faster. By helping your coworkers, you not only improve their chances of success but also boost your own role, develop essential skills, and create a more productive workplace.

Communication: Trust encourages open dialogue. When team members feel supported, they’re more likely to communicate openly. This both reduces misunderstandings and streamlines processes. Trust decreases the whole team’s stress levels, increases job satisfaction, and contributes to a problem-solving work culture. When you help someone overcome a challenge, it not only feels good but also develops a sense of community.

Future: It is only a matter of time until you get stuck. Helping others now paves the way for asking for help later. When you invest in your colleagues’ success, they’re more inclined to return the favor when you need it. Strong networks and partners are invaluable for future projects. Imagine stepping into January with teammates who are not just coworkers but allies. People who understand your work style and appreciate your contributions. You set a cooperative tone that can propel projects forward from their beginning.

How does generously giving your energy now shape your team’s future success? Please share in the comments

More Civil Service

I received valuable feedback on last week’s post. Thank you! Leaders asked how to immediately implement civility into their cultures. Formal training is not possible for every organization and adding another task to Human Resource’s to-do list is not a popular option either. So, this week, let’s continue the conversation around the civility trend. What if implementing civility into your culture is not expensive? What if it saves your company money? Or even brings in new revenue?

Civility as a Competitive Advantage

By building and maintaining an environment of civility you mitigate risk, attract top talent, and sustain productivity. A culture rooted in civility encourages collaboration and open communication. Organizations that embrace civility are more resilient, competitive, and profitable because it is a tool for both inclusion and knowledge sharing. Civility helps you create a workplace where employees feel valued, supported, and motivated for everyone to succeed.

Strategies to Encourage Civility

Positive Reinforcement: Implementing civility doesn’t have to cost a lot of money. Regularly recognize civil behavior and reward it either through formal awards or informal praise. When you highlight employees who demonstrate civility their behaviors are contagious and spread throughout the team. Normalize relentless respect. Spotlight random acts of kindness in your company newsletter. Take a team who lives inclusivity out to lunch. Celebrate those who go out of their way to show both effort and empathy. This can be as simple as a shoutout in an all-hands meeting or sending them an email of praise and copying leadership. Small and consistent rewards for civility can have a large impact.

Model Behavior: LinkedIn’s latest Workforce Confidence Survey says 7 in 10 U.S. employees would leave a job if their manager was bad. Retaining talent saves you money. Civility is an employee-engagement tool. Wield it by being mindful of how you communicate. Actively listen, maintain eye contact, ignore your phone, and encourage opinions that are different from yours. Recognize effort, not necessarily results. Acknowledge your staff’s hard work, even if the outcome isn’t perfect. Calling out enthusiasm demonstrates your support and builds trust. Pay attention to how different people prefer to communicate. Introverts, for example, may appreciate a written thank you note rather than having the spotlight thrown on them during a virtual meeting. Extroverts, on the other hand, would relish that.

Create Systems: Allow truth to speak to power. Create safe spaces for employees to express concerns or ideas without fear of consequences. You could hold open forums where staff can speak both freely and respectfully. You could send an email asking your team how they felt about communication and collaboration during their last project. Whatever you choose, use their input to make adjustments and keep the team aligned. For example, after the completion of your next project, send your team a short survey asking how they felt about the process. For example: “How comfortable did you feel contributing to group discussions?” or “Were you able to use your strengths?” This kind of feedback offers insights into how your team perceives their interactions both with their work and with one another. You can identify areas for improvement and make targeted changes to iterate to a more civil environment where everyone’s skills are used effectively. Use this data to capitalize on individual strengths while addressing interpersonal challenges and ensure the right people are working on the right projects. Business moves at the speed of trust. The faster your team can trust both you and one another, the more business your company can do and the more money it can make.

How do you use civility as a strategy for wise decision-making, stronger teamwork, and better results? Please share in the comments.

Civil Service

I’m hearing the word civility used a lot lately in reference to the power skills necessary to grow a thriving workplace culture and I am here for it. We talked about appropriate ways to treat coworkers in this space before, but what is the civility trend? Why does civility matter? How can you integrate civility into your workplace?

The Civility Trend

Civility encourages coworkers to actively listen to one another, respect differing viewpoints, and collaborate cohesively despite personal differences. It helps everyone feel seen and valued, which boosts both morale and productivity. Maintaining civility is a business strategy. Policies and practices that help your team tactfully navigate disagreements are tools for employee retention. According to a study by the Center for Creative Leadership, 93% of workers consider respectful treatment a key factor in job satisfaction. More companies are integrating civility into their core values because it leads to a healthier work environment. A 2022 study by Civility Partners found workplaces that promote respectful exchanges experienced a 30% improvement in productivity and a 25% drop in employee turnover. Interpersonal conflicts challenge organizational efficiency because differing opinions and ideologies can cause rifts in relationships. Civility promotes inclusivity and minimizes workplace tensions.

Why Civility Matters

There are quantifiable financial risks of not cultivating a civil work environment. When employees experience negative interactions, they quit. A Work Institute Retention Report found that replacing an employee can cost up to 33% of their annual salary due to turnover, training, and lost productivity. In addition, there is usually a loss in productivity and an increase in the emotional toll on the remaining employees. This makes incivility a costly problem for your organization to ignore. On the flip side, prioritizing civility can offer a competitive advantage. Civility bridges divides to build an infrastructure where employees feel safe to share ideas without fear of judgment or punishment. If civility is one of your company’s values, then you will attract and retain top talent, incubate innovation, and enhance employee job performance because civility gives voice to diverse perspectives which results in better decision-making and faster problem-solving.

Civility in Your Workplace

Civility is more than just being polite. It’s the foundation of effective collaboration and communication. A civil workplace welcomes open dialogue and values each team member’s contributions. First you have to have enough emotional intelligence to know and manage yourself. You can take a personality test like Clifton Strengths Finders, DISC, or Enneagram, etc., to gain some self-awareness. Once you realize what makes you feel respected, then you can recognize what makes your teammates feel heard. When you spend time working with them, watch their reactions. Adjust your communication to not only relate to them but also build relationships. For example, when I’m facilitating a discussion, and it’s a topic I’m excited about, I have to remind myself to be quiet and let others share. I recognize a fellow introvert when I see one. I know I need to be careful to offer them opportunities to contribute to the conversation without putting them on the spot. For example: asking, “Jane, did I see your hand raised?” even if I didn’t. Then Jane has both an in if she wants to speak and an out if she doesn’t.

How do you promote an atmosphere of civility in your workplace? Please share in the comments.

Look at the Time

Leadership requires you to coach, inspire, and shepherd people as well as manage resources like time and money. If you prioritize tasks, allocate resources prudently, and keep your team on track, then you can focus on accomplishing your organization’s mission rather than getting bogged down in day-to-day tasks. Time management helps you make better decisions, balance multiple responsibilities, and respond better to unexpected challenges.

Better Decisions

If you have a team meeting ten minutes from now, will reading this article make you late for the meeting? If you are late for the meeting, do you implicitly give your team permission to be late to meetings too? As a leader, how you manage your time sets the tone for your team. If you are organized and on time, then they are more likely to behave the same way. Effective time management demonstrates you value both your own time and that of others. It respects the team’s efforts and promotes a culture of productivity and collaboration.

Multiple Responsibilities

You do everything from managing projects and teams to developing new ideas and reporting to your manager. Time management helps you put your effort where it’s needed most. Carve out blocks of time in your schedule for thoughtful analysis and planning. Making time to align your work to your team’s goals helps you identify both opportunities and risks earlier, so you can efficiently manage both projects and resources. For example: During one of your planning blocks, you realize the project your team is working on will allow your client to create a new offering. You write an email to the client bulletpointing your observation and analysis. Your client replies very interested and grateful. When you balance your time well, you can maintain high performance across all your responsibilities without burning out or compromising the quality of your work.

Unexpected Challenges

You are producing an event one week from today. During a check-in call with the caterer, you discover they have the date wrong. They have a conflict and cannot cater your event. A well-structured schedule leaves margin for you to handle crises without derailing ongoing projects. That analysis and planning time you carved out comes into play here because during it, you made contingency plans. Now you can confidently delegate tasks quickly to your team, like calling other caterers, so they can continue to function during this challenge as well as remain calm under pressure.

Mastering time management is an ongoing process. Your goal is to try something, see what happens, analyze the result, change what you don’t like, then try again. There are plenty of strategies to help you manage your time. You can browse them by Googling “time management methods 2024,” then pick one and try it for three months. If you don’t like it, Google again and repeat the process. Don’t get discouraged if your first choice doesn’t work for you. Think of it like this: When someone on your team asks how you manage your time so well, you will have multiple methods to share as well as real-life experience using them. And that’s what a leader does. They use they use the intelligence they gather to serve others.

How do you manage your time to optimize your leadership? Please share your tips in the comments.

Slamming Your Spending

How you choose to spend money reflects your values, priorities, and circumstances. People around you—whether friends, family, coworkers, or complete strangers—judge your choices. Why do people care how you spend your money?

Why People Judge

Cultural Norms: Society has expectations about how money should be spent. You may be judged because your spending doesn’t align with what people consider appropriate. For example: You spend money on a weekend getaway and your parents think you should put that money in your IRA instead.

Personal Insecurities: If someone feels insecure about their own financial situation, they may project those feelings onto you. For example: You invest in a risky stock and your friend (who is not a financial advisor) tells you that was a mistake.

Envy: People may criticize your spending if they feel you’re enjoying luxuries they can’t afford. For example: You drive your new car to work and arrive at the same time as your coworker. As you are walking across the parking lot, they ask, “How much did that set you back?”

How to Respond

Priorities: Make financial choices that align with your values and goals, not other people’s opinions. For example, Let’s say you are saving money to buy a house and your friend is giving you a hard time because it’s preventing you from going on a cruise with them. You may respond, “Our priorities are different right now. Spending that money isn’t an option; raincheck?”

Boundaries: If you second-guess your decisions because of someone’s judgment, remind yourself why you made those choices. You know your situation better than anyone and you have the right to keep your spending habits private. If someone asks intrusive questions, shut them down with a simple, polite response. For example: “This is what currently works best for me.”

Reaction: Someone’s judgement reflects their perspective, not the reality of your situation. Reacting defensively can escalate your encounter instead of diffusing it so respond to criticism with calm confidence. Stay grounded in your values, set boundaries, and be assertive. For example: When your uncle criticizes your spending you can say, “I’ve made these choices because they align with my goals. Let’s talk about something else.”

Evaluation: Sometimes, people offer unsolicited feedback that may be valuable. If the judgment comes from someone you trust and respect, consider whether there’s any merit to their perspective. For example, if a financially savvy friend questions a decision you made, consider whether they have a good point. Ask yourself, “Is this spending preventing me from reaching my long-term goals?”

People: You can’t control people’s opinions about how you spend your money, but you can control your response. If certain individuals frequently judge you, try spending less time with them and more time with people who respect your choices or keep their opinions to themselves. When you encounter judgment, respond with empathy. People may criticize your spending because of their own financial stress. Acknowledge their feelings without compromising yours. For example: You could say, “Finances can be stressful. We all have different priorities, and that’s okay.”

Learning: When a financial decision was bad for you, it will hurt. The pain helps you learn. Ask yourself: What trigger can I set to not do that again? Clarify your values, identify the change you need to make, and make it. Spending isn’t really about the money. It’s about how you feel about the money. People want to tell you how they feel. They assume you want to make them feel good and aligning your expectations to theirs does that. But, trying to meet others’ expectations is not only a recipe for frustration, it can also lead to financial decisions that aren’t in your best interest. Prioritize your own goals and you’ll find more peace in your choices, regardless of what others think. For example: When a teammate comments on your spending habits, you could say, “I prefer to focus on what’s best for me rather than comparing myself with others.”

How do you handle being judged for your spending habits? Please share in the comments.

Serve or Protect?

Some clients are a dream to work with, and others, well, not so much. You know the type: They are rarely satisfied with your work. They question every item on every invoice, then don’t pay until their second notice. They negotiate every project as a zero sum game. If this relationship is not a one-shot deal, then you have to keep losing in order to please them and that is unsustainable. Should you let this high-maintenance customer go?

The Problem

First, query your team and define all the ways this client makes trouble for you. Do any of the following sound familiar?

Communication: You need their input to deliver their custom solution, but they avoid participating in the process. They refuse to tell you how they want to receive communication then complain they missed an update. They expect immediate responses from you, but they ignore your questions. Their vague, last-minute changes disrupt your service to your other clients.

Deliverables: They scope creep by regularly asking you to do more work than you agreed to and they don’t want to amend your contract. They complain you don’t do enough for them even when the deliverables in the contract are met.

Payment: They question every invoice. They ask you to lower your fees. They chronically pay late.They have threatened to take their business elsewhere more than once.

The Assessment

Now that you know what the problem you are solving for is, determine how bad the problem is. What is the impact on these areas?

Finances: Are they a significant source of your income, or are they actually costing you money with their late payments, demands for discounts, and scope creep?

Resources: How much of your team’s time, energy, and attention does this client take? How many other clients could you serve if you reclaim those resources?

Stress: How much frustration do they cause you? How much do your coworkers worry about this particular client? How far does your team’s productivity drop when working on this customer’s projects?

The Preparation

If the negative impact has outweighed the benefits for at least one year, then it’s time to consider ending the relationship. How should you proceed?

Look at Your Data: Do a cost analysis. Over the course of the contract how much of your organization’s resources were spent on this customer? For every team member, note all the time spent on internal and external communication as well as the actual work on the project. What is the percentage of everyone’s total hours worked? Show these numbers broken down by team member in a report. This unsustainable loss is the main reason you can site for ending the relationship.

Review Your Contract: Understand the terms of your agreement, especially regarding termination. This will help you navigate the process legally and ethically.

Visualize Your Encounter: See yourself explaining to your client why you’re ending the relationship. You are confident. You are not angry. You are calmly and tactfully getting right to the point. You are stating how it’s in the best interest of both parties to go your separate ways. Now rehearse out loud what you’re going to say.

The Conversation

All the analysis and preparation has lead to this. What is the best way to break the news?

Schedule a Meeting: Arrange a time to speak with the client. Face-to-face is ideal, but a video chat can also work. You want to see as many of their nonverbals as possible.

Be Direct and Polite: Start by acknowledging the positive aspects of the relationship, then explain why it’s no longer working. For example, “I’ve enjoyed working with you over the past year, but I feel that our working styles and expectations are no longer aligned.”

Focus on the Business: Emphasize that the decision is based on what’s best for your business. Pull out that cost analysis you worked so hard on.

Offer Alternatives: Suggest other professionals who might be a better fit for the client’s needs. Before offering this, ask those other professionals if they are willing to meet with this client.

Keep it Professional: Stay calm and composed, even if the client reacts negatively. Avoid personal attacks and blame. Take a deep breath, settle your emotions, and focus on the process. Your goal is to end the relationship on as positive a note as far as it is up to you.

The Aftermath

The hardest part is over. What loose ends still need tied?

Wrap It Up: Send your now former client an email summarizing the conversation and confirming the termination of the relationship. Request immediate payment of their final invoice. If there are any remaining tasks, clarify who will handle them. If they seemed interested in your suggestions of other companies who may be a better fit for them, include their contact information.

Move Forward: Use this experience for process improvement. Now that you know where your team’s boundaries are, communicate them to potential clients from the beginning of the relationship. This will help you vet them. For example, if they complain to you about the company they work with, then expect them to complain about you when inevitable conflicts arise. When it’s time to draw up a contract, include details on expectations for communication, deliverables, deadlines, and firm payment terms.

Have you ever had to fire a client? Please share your experience in the comments.

High Pay Can Cost You

Welcome to the final article in our Toxic Traits series. In part one,
we asked what’s up with the toxicity-in-the-workplace trend. Part two
suggested what managers can do to mitigate its effects. Part three
explored how individual contributors can make workplaces less toxic. Now let’s talk about your wallet.

The allure of a high-paying job can be irresistible. You can have financial security. You can afford luxuries. You can climb up a rung or three on the social-status ladder. But those perks come with a hidden cost when the workplace environment is toxic.

The Pros

Stability: You can pay off debt, build savings, invest in property, and afford quality healthcare and education for both you and your family.

Comfort: You can upgrade your housing, travel more often, and participate in expensive hobbies.

Opportunities: Working in a high-stakes, high-paying environment offers valuable experience and visibility to leadership. These roles can be stepping stones to even more lucrative and prestigious positions within the organization.

The Cons

Stress: The constant negativity of a hostile work environment eventually destroys your productivity. Chronic stress leads to burnout, depression, and anxiety disorders. Stress also manifests physically through headaches, high blood pressure, diabetes, and/or a weakened immune system.

Balance: Toxic workplaces often demand excessive hours and emotional investment that erode the boundaries between your work and personal life. This imbalance strains relationships and reduces time available for self-care and fun.

Ethics: Working in a toxic environment may require you to compromise your principles. This creates internal conflict over moral dilemmas and reduces your self-esteem and professional integrity.

Only you can decide whether the financial benefits of a high-paying job in a toxic workplace are worth the negative impact. Some questions to ask yourself: How far will your resilience stretch? How long will these circumstances last? How patient will your support systems be?

Your Choice

The financial security and career advancement may outweigh the negative aspects, especially if you have effective coping mechanisms and strong external support. But do not underestimate the toll a toxic work environment takes on your mental and physical health, relationships, and overall happiness. The tipping point where toxicity outweighs financial compensation differs for everyone. Here are a few clues the job is no longer worth it.

Health: When your physical or mental health problems become obvious and unmanageable. When you always feel physically exhausted, mentally detached, and/or emotionally numb.

Relationships: When your personal relationships suffer significantly due to your work-related stress and unavailability.

Happiness: When the job requires compromising your values to the point where it affects your self-respect, you lose your sense of purpose, or the grind is relentless.

When You Can’t Leave Yet

If you depend on this job to pay your bills and can’t quit yet, recognize the signs of intolerable toxicity, evaluate your circumstances, and be proactive in mitigating its negative impacts.

Boundaries: Define, communicate, and maintain boundaries between your work life and your personal life to protect your time and relationships.

Cope: Lean on friends, family, and/or professional counselors to help you maintain both your mental and physical health. Relieve your stress through exercise, meditation, hobbies, or whatever self-care looks like for you.

Strategize: Invest in certifications that will open doors to better opportunities elsewhere. Attend networking events and connect with people who work in organizations you’d like to work for. Hire a career coach to help you prepare for your future. It’s good to have hope.

Have you ever worked in a toxic workplace because the job paid well? Was the compensation worth it? Please share in the comments.

Employees Engage

If you’re just joining us, we are in part 3 of 4 in our Toxic Traits series. So far, we’ve thought about why toxicity in the workplace seems to be on the rise and what managers can do to make the workplace less toxic.

Have you seen any Reels like these lately? Social media amplifies discussions about workplace issues, bringing visibility to toxic behaviors that used to be overlooked. While these videos make you laugh as well as feel seen, they don’t exactly help you solve your toxicity problem. Through collaboration, inclusivity, communication, and mutual respect you can help transform your workplace into an environment where both employer and employees thrive. This solution seems simple, but it’s not easy. So, what can employees do to make your workplace less toxic?

Communicate Effectively: Interact respectfully with colleagues and supervisors. Commit to constructive communication and use the appropriate medium. For example: When you feel like someone belittled your idea in a reply-all email, instead of immediately defending your position, reply all with, “I’d like to learn more. I’ll set up a call for you and I to go deeper.” Showing curiosity in their input signals you have an open mind. Pulling the issue out of the group email demonstrates emotional intelligence. By the way, keeping your mind open does not mean you have to change it.

Support Peers: Foster a collaborative atmosphere by helping your teammates. For example: When someone new joins your team, think about what you wish you’d known when you were in their shoes. Are there certain reference documents in the shared drive they should know about? Does the team take turns buying coffee? Offer to be available to answer their questions.

Engage Constructively: Participate positively in meetings to build a sense of community. For example: When your weekly check-ins start off with what went wrong, call out a teammate who helped make it right.

Manage Stress: Practice self-care to maintain personal well-being. Establish and maintain healthy boundaries around time spent on work. For example: When you receive a work email during Jeopardy! do NOT reply.

Report Issues: Speak up about toxic behaviors using appropriate channels. For example: When you repeatedly get left out of emails containing information pertinent to your responsibilities on the project, get face time with the source and ask them to add you to the thread. You do not have to be confrontational. Concentrate on the call to action. You can say, “Will you please add me to the email list for the project? It has come to my attention I need that information to complete my part of it. I can wait while you do that right now.”

Help Others: Embrace opportunities to stay engaged. For example: When your marketing department needs an extra hand hosting a table at an event your organization is sponsoring, volunteer to help. This gives you insight into another department, feedback on how your work contributes to your organization’s brand, and a networking opportunity.

Both employers and employees have crucial roles to play in growing a healthy workplace culture. It takes perseverance, but working together will decrease toxicity, increase productivity, and promote overall well-being for everyone in the organization.

Have you ever worked in a toxic workplace? What did you do to make it less toxic? Please share in the comments.