You’re Not the Boss of Me

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Here in the mid-digital age you may find yourself working as a member of a team more often than completing deliverables on your own. I’m a big fan of the-more-heads-the-better for problem solving, but when your supervisor tasks you with exerting influence over coworkers who aren’t your direct reports, you have responsibility without any authority. What do you do?

This scenario usually employs a version of the Matrix Model of Management. It’s a popular construct because it allows departments to share resources according to their functions. A company can take employees who report to various supervisors and assign them to project teams based on the talent required to complete the work. This not only saves the company money, but also fosters creative problem solving. The tricky part is: Who’s in charge? This ambiguity creates multiple challenges, especially if the team is large and/or there is competition to lead the project. Best practice: when forming the team, the supervisors assign the leader and communicate that information to the entire team.  

When you’re the one in charge, you can’t offer the incentives (raises, promotions, getting fired) the supervisors can, yet you have to find a way to both engage and motivate the team because if they miss the deadline, you’re the one who gets in trouble. Leading through influence requires strong interpersonal skills. You have to take initiative early in the process to build relationships and persuade with diplomacy. Some things to consider: 

Clarify

Defining roles and responsibilities at the outset helps eliminate frustration and duplication of efforts. At the first team meeting, decide together who does what and when:

  • What is the goal? What does success look like?
  • Who will shepherd which task and what are the deadlines? Pro Tip: The person who sets the deadline is in control no matter what their title is.
  • What are the project’s KPI’s? How will you know you’ve met them?
  • How will you meet? In person? Videoconference? How often? Daily? Weekly? What hours is everyone available for questions or huddles?
  • What information will you need from them? What information will they need from you?

Communicate

  • Each of your team members has multiple demands on their time from multiple supervisors and multiple projects. Every week team members should either submit an email report or meet with you for a brief update on both the progress of your project and the status of their other projects. This alerts you to competing deadlines and prompts you to notify your team’s supervisors. Ask the supervisors to prevent a crisis by prioritizing projects. Pro Tip: A written status report (on both successes and challenges) can double as documentation for annual performance reviews.
  • From the beginning and throughout the project, remind the team that you support their individual brands. Email their supervisors when they produce good work. Give the team visibility to the rest of the company.
  • Observe what motivates your team. Who works because it’s intrinsically rewarding? Who works for recognition? What are their career goals? Connect working on this project to reaching them.

Cultivate

  • Teams working on short projects together don’t have much time to connect on a personal level, yet business moves at the speed of trust. It’ll make your life easier if you can accelerate team bonding.
  • If a teammate is uncooperative, schedule a 1:1 and find out why as soon as they miss a KPI. Are there barriers you can remove (e.g., other projects)? Do they need resources you can obtain (training, equipment)? If the teammate still refuses to produce in a timely manner, send them an email reiterating your conversation and copy their supervisor. If you still can’t convince them to contribute, schedule a meeting with their supervisor and ask how they motivate the employee. Pro Tip: the emails should be enough evidence to keep this employee off of future teams you lead.

If you have to manage projects without authority over people, then you must build commitment and engagement. Find common ground and use it to align goal setting. Get your team the resources they need to do good work. Explain the logical (not emotional) reasons for taking an action and the consequences of not taking it.

Have you had responsibility without authority? How did that work out? Please share in the comments.

Brand Awareness

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Last week we talked about bringing your whole self to work  which concentrated on the impression you give. This week let’s talk about your reputation and if the brand you’re projecting is being received the way you intend.

Why do you need to know?

In the 1980’s, Lee Atwater coined the phrase, “Perception is reality.” You may think you are kind, compassionate, and thoughtful, but if your peers, bosses, and clients see you as cruel, harsh, and insensitive; that’s a problem. For example:

  • You thought that you were being assertive, but your team mate accuses you of being difficult
  • You thought that you were celebrating accomplishments, but your boss suggests you stop bragging
  • You thought that you were being diligent, but your client complains your follow up is aggressive.

You can’t control every opinion of you, but shouldn’t you intentionally manage what you can? Every day you’re creating an impression and it affects what projects you get assigned, who you do them with, and even future job opportunities. Your performance is judged not only by what you do, but also how you do it. Your skill at influencing how others perceive you is a key to controlling your career trajectory. This is not manipulation; it’s both personal and leadership development.

How do you find out?

Self-awareness – Much of our behavior is unconscious and habitual. Consider taking an assessment like The Myers-Briggs Type Indicator, DiSC Profile, or Clifton StrengthsFinder. Look for patterns in the data. E.g., Do you behave more dominantly when you’re stressed? Pro Tip: Don’t dwell on the results you disagree with. These tests are snapshots of where you were mentally and emotionally when you took them.

Feedback – Choose peers, managers, and direct reports you trust to give you objective evaluations. Ask them about a specific situation where their reaction was not what you expected. Graciously receive their feedback. Resist arguing and/or accusing them of misunderstanding. There will be at least a bit of subjectivity in their opinions, so evaluate them carefully. Excavate the truth from their feedback, then determine how you will communicate differently during your next interaction.

Reconnaissance – Observe leaders you admire. How do they behave? How do they influence? How do they present themselves in meetings, 1:1s and on social media? Define the traits they have that you want people to associate with you, then model them. E.g., is the leader known for facilitating productive problem solving? Before your next project meeting, think of three open-ended questions that will prompt discussion of how the team can push the project to the next step.

What if you want to change it?

Start Small – Begin with the easiest impression to change and make altering it a S.M.A.R.T. goal. Activate the perception-changing conversation by digging up common ground. For example, is your team full of dog lovers? If you like the same things, it’s a small step to reason that you want the same things (e.g., accomplishing the project you’re working on together).

Advertise – Let team mates know you’re in the process of changing your behavior, and that you’ll periodically ask for their feedback. Leading with vulnerability triggers support. Resist exaggerating. You can’t sustain deception. When it’s discovered, it’s really hard to earn trust back.

Repeat – You’ve trained people to anticipate you’ll react a certain way. It takes time, both for them and you, to unlearn the pattern and replace it with your new one. Participating in team projects is a good way to demonstrate your change. When successful completion depends on working together, your coworkers are motivated to perceive you positively.

It’s all interpretation. If coworkers, managers, and customers see you in a negative light, soon they don’t want to work with you and you don’t want to work with them. You have the power to make your light shine positively.

What do you do to control your narrative? Please share in the comments.

Who Are You?

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During the first team meeting after Jane got promoted from individual contributor to manager, she admitted she was nervous about the new role and asked her team for help. Her honesty and vulnerability were counter productive. Instead of regarding her as authentic, Jane’s direct reports perceived her as weak and unable to do her job. They didn’t trust her decisions, making it impossible to lead them. Her leadership style should have evolved as she gained experience, but instead Jane lost the courage necessary to promote her ideas.

What Bringing Your Whole Self to Work Means

  • Being both courageous and comfortable enough with coworkers to reveal both personal interests and flaws, thus creating space for them to reciprocate
  • Normalizing what employees experience outside the workplace affects them in the workplace
  • Includes both the impression we give of ourselves (consciously or unconsciously) and the impression we have of coworkers
  • Some elements we consider: authenticity (“This is me, warts and all”), humility (“I don’t know everything”), and vulnerability (“I need your help”)

Bringing your whole self to work is a relatively new concept. It presupposes that employees want to find purpose and higher meaning through their jobs. During the industrial revolution, no one looked for engagement with their work. They worked to buy food, clothing and shelter. They looked for purpose and higher meaning at church, in nature, or through art. Even today, some employees will never see their jobs as a source of fulfillment. If employees spend their energy trying to fit in to the culture, then they don’t have a lot left to be innovative, engaged, and productive.

Why You Don’t

  • Maybe, like Jane, you brought your whole self to work in the past and got judged or were less than your coworkers expected
  • The culture of your workplace is not conducive to sharing, keeping conversations at surface level
  • You fear revealing certain parts of your personality will make you appear unprofessional (e.g., you remain silent in a meeting after your feelings were hurt)
  • You are ashamed of something in your background
  • You feel pressured to always be right because your work culture does not support learning from failure

Why You Should

The more willing you are to be authentically vulnerable, the more positive an impact you have on both your work and your team. Bringing your whole self to work: 

  • Breaks down silos
  • Accelerates trust
  • Creates a culture where honesty is valued
  • Removes the stress of hiding flaws
  • Allows genuine connection (critical to successful networking)
  • Enhances productivity and performance
  • Boosts creative problem solving
  • Helps managers resolve conflict in a constructive way 

Someone who recognizes when to risk being vulnerable also recognizes a smart business risk when they see it.

How You Can

Start the authenticity ball rolling by:

  • Both recognizing and appreciating coworkers. There is a difference. Recognizing is feedback on performance. E.g.,“You gave an excellent presentation today.” Appreciating is expressing gratitude for valuable human qualities (e.g., humility, kindness, humor) regardless of whether the deliverable succeeded or failed. E.g., “It’s obvious you care deeply about serving our customers.” Recognizing and appreciating them helps coworkers feel seen. This leads to deepening trust and improving job performance
  • Having a growth mindset. Every challenge is an opportunity to learn, and we learn more when we do it together
  • Leading through both modeling and celebrating behaviors like: speaking up, taking smart risks, and owning mistakes. This enables your workforce to feel psychologically safe which leads to creativity which leads to productivity which leads to revenue

How comfortable are you bringing your whole self to work? Please share in the comments.

Balance vs Integration

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I mentioned last week my mom is retired. If you’re envisioning a little old lady sitting in a rocking chair and knitting, you haven’t met my mom. If she’s sitting in a rocking chair, It’s more likely she’s on her laptop in her home office, videoconferencing with a mentee in Turkey rather than knitting. Instead of trying to balance work and life, Mom has integrated them. She’s incorporated elements she loves (The Bible, studying) into her daily routine (counseling, mentoring).

If you have a job that can’t be done remotely, (e.g. factory, hospital) you have a better shot at work life balance because you leave your work at the place you perform it. But those jobs tend to have hours that don’t coincide with the school day. Balance then becomes: Are you going to your eight-year-old’s piano recital on Saturday or are you working your normal shift as a hair stylist? If you have more of a sales role (talent acquisition, productivity consultant) or knowledge worker (software developer, career coach) you have more freedom to integrate all of your responsibilities. For example, instead of working eight hours straight, work-life integration could look like this: you do deep work at 5:00AM while everyone is asleep. You break at 7:00AM for breakfast with the family. You work while the kids are in school. You answer emails after everyone goes to bed. Integration blurs the lines between home and work. Life becomes more fluid and less categorized. For example, developing a marketing proposal for a client and developing a vacation proposal for the family are both duties you may have, and you get paid to do one of them.

When I think of balance, I visualize the Scales of Justice and constantly trying to keep both sides even. But you don’t have work on one side of the scale and everything else on the other. Life is more like a large Marion’s Super Cheese Pizza whose squares are unevenly cut. Some are huge and some are tiny. Your squares include work, family, friends, health, personal development, spirituality, volunteering, leisure, etc. Some days, those bigger squares are going to be children (e.g., you have to attend parent-teacher conferences). Some days those big squares are going to be work (e.g., attending the all-company videoconference). After you eat a couple of big squares, you fill up on smaller ones: checking email while awaiting your turn at the parent-teacher conferences, light weight lifting while attending the all-company videoconference. (I recommend both video and microphone muted for this one.) Only you can decide which squares and how many to eat everyday. Make decisions based on your values, goals, and priorities. When you feel overwhelmed, write down where your T.E.A.M. is going (i.e., how many squares you’re eating). If you discover you’re spending your T.E.A.M. out of sync with your values, goals, and priorities, consider reassigning the squares. Maybe today the biggest square is the slide deck that’s due at noon and the smaller square is the social media post you told your church you’d do for them this week. You can even share your pizza, giving a square (like the social media post) to someone else.

Switching your mindset to integration can help you achieve the balance you want. How have you changed your routine to bring more harmony to your life? Please share in the comments.

We Can Work it Out

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American employees have worked in office buildings since 1906, even though emerging technology enables us to work from anywhere, any time, and with anyone. Companies buy buildings, so we must use the tools that work in them. Besides, if you can’t see your employees, they aren’t working, right? Let’s face it: If they’re watching Netflix at home, they’re probably watching it at the office too. In 2016, 43% of employees spent at least a few hours working remotely. During COVID, the exponential increase revealed outdated assumptions about it. The top three are: productivity, communication, and culture.

Productivity

This study shows employees are actually 35-40% more productive working remotely than in an office. Managers can boost productivity by:

  • clearly communicating goals (deadlines, KPIs)
  • giving individual contributors necessary equipment (laptop, industry specific software)
  • encouraging calendar sharing and ad-hoc communication (IM, video chats)

Time and activity tracking apps are available to keep an eye on the workforce (e.g., Teramind) or managers can insist on hourly activity reports. But, going overboard backfires. Productivity slows when employees have to interrupt their work to report on it; not to mention the distrust it cultivates. Working remotely not only increases productivity, but also reduces costs from real estate, employee absenteeism, and turnover. Research suggests a hybrid-remote work model could collectively save American employers over $500 billion a year.

Communication

Technology allows teams to communicate who is doing what, how close to the target they are, and what the result should look like. Data privacy is an issue; mostly a people one. For example, do all employees know they shouldn’t use free coffee shop Wi-Fi? Most data privacy issues can be addressed through company-wide training, secure VPNs, and well-communicated best practice policies. Implementing a hybrid-remote work policy helps employees understand business expectations, and advances both transparency and accountability for everyone. What should a best practice policy include?

  • COVID protocol: What are the rules for masks and social distancing? Must employees be vaccinated to work in the office?
  • Logistics: Who decides if an employee can work remotely; the employee or the employer? When in the office, does the employee have a dedicated workspace?
  • Equity: Is the remote employee reimbursed for office supplies, internet, and electricity? Will in-office employees receive better performance reviews due to unconscious bias? Is there a central company information hub that’s accessible to all employees?

Culture

A pleasantly surprising result of pandemic-induced remote work is that it has made some underrepresented groups feel more seen. Helping teams bond takes employers’ creativity, as well as time, and technology can facilitate initiatives.

  • Use employee recognition software to issue company-wide wellness challenges. By broadly defining wellness, (e.g., drinking water and meditation count as well as physical exercise) employers get more buy-in.
  • Schedule a recurring weekly thirty-minute coworker coffee, or happy hour (or both) via video chat.
  • Onboard new employees by pairing them with existing employees via instant messaging for one shift.
  • Engage employees with brief company-wide surveys (e.g., “What do you need most right now to be successful at your job: training or tools?”)

There’s no going back to the office-centric model. If an employer’s attitude is, “My employees have to work where I want them to, and I want them in the office,” then 54% of workers are willing to leave that employer when they find a position that supports remote work. If management and individual contributors come together to communicate what is working and identify where waste can be eliminated, we can create a sustainable hybrid-remote solution.

Do you want to go back to the office full time? Please share your preference in the comments.

Boundaries Battle Burnout

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The World Health Organization recognizes burnout as an official medical diagnosis caused by an unrelenting work load and/or no work-life balance. It’s number two on this list of what employees said were their biggest challenges during the pandemic.

They feel:

  • pressured to be available 24/7/365
  • lack of flexibility at work
  • worried about losing their jobs
  • overwhelmed dealing with shuttered daycare and online school
  • not at liberty to talk about outside-of-work issues affecting job performance

To begin battling burnout, define, set, and enforce your personal boundaries with your manager.

Define

Your boundaries are based on your values and priorities. When defining them, think about what you need to feel empowered. The last time you felt undervalued, disrespected, or out of balance, what was the trigger? Did you have to work last weekend? Do you buy the office birthday cards and cupcakes for coworkers and it’s not in your job description? That’s where your boundary lies. If you could live that situation over again, what action would you take to change it?

Set

  • Does your manager randomly call you throughout the week? Schedule a recurring 1:1 catch up meeting with an agenda.
  • Feeling overwhelmed? Make a list of your priorities and ask them to do the same. In your next 1:1, compare lists. Are they different? Decide together what your top three responsibilities are and how much freedom you have to accomplish them.
  • If your manager’s expectations cross a boundary, how important is the boundary to you? Is a compromise possible? Is saying no a battle you want to fight?
  • Give updates on your projects’ statuses and request they prioritize them. Ask them to tell you more about why they need this new assignment done in this timeframe, and why the task requires your unique skillset.
  • Personal goals count. If your manager wants you to stay late, but your trainer is meeting you at the gym at 6:00PM, offer to get started early tomorrow morning. Compromise so you aren’t saying no all the time.
  • Best practice is setting boundaries at the beginning of a project. For example: Make a rule to only answer texts after 7PM if it’s an emergency, and define what constitutes an emergency.
  • Use technology to help you communicate boundaries: change your status to busy in Microsoft Teams (or whatever business communication platform you use), calendar an hour a day and label it as busy. You don’t have to say what you’re using the time for. Get the kids started on their homework if that’s what it  takes to enable you to finish your work.

Burnout doesn’t just affect you, it affects the work too. You need to be flexible and accommodate the occasional emergency requiring overtime. But, regular work hours and exceeding the expectations of the project are good boundaries to help you both do the work everyday and juggle the other aspects of your life. Do not apologize for protecting the time it takes to do the work you are already assigned.

Enforce

Practice for boundary crossers. Rehearsal takes the emotion out of holding your boundary. Visualize your manager asking you to work on a Sunday morning; what do you do? Don’t fume over the infraction. Immediately reinforce your boundary by clearly and respectfully stating what it is and why it exists. Be consistent in holding healthy boundaries. You aren’t communicating clearly if you keep moving them. If you said you won’t respond to emails after 7:00PM, don’t open your inbox.

Your boundaries will get challenged. That will reveal where they are and help you to refine and iterate them. Those who set and hold boundaries gain respect. A friend just gave up a committee chair position because she assessed her commitments and realized she needed to off-load some. Will I miss her leadership? Yes. Do I respect her for making choices that help her achieve her goals? Absolutely.

When was the last time someone crossed one of your boundaries? What did you do to hold it? Please share in the comments.

The First Step

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The glass ceiling is cracking thanks to so many women beating our heads against it. The light filtering through these cracks reveals that the ladder we’re climbing to get there has a broken rung.

What is it?

At the beginning of 2020, for every 100 men who stepped onto the corporate ladder by accepting their first role as a manager, only 85 women were hired and/or promoted from individual contributor to manager. That statistic refers to white women; the statistics for Black women and Latinas are even worse. The first rung on the corporate ladder is broken for women and it has a negative effect on our talent pipeline. While more women are getting hired for senior management, there aren’t enough at junior management levels to promote. This lack of diversity in management denies our organizations an array of ideas, input, and solutions which adversely affects our bottom lines.

Why Does it Happen?

Women are subject to unconscious gender bias. Adapting to work during COVID-19 has awakened us a bit. Who hasn’t been on a Zoom call where someone (male or female) commented on a female coworker’s children playing in the background? When schools went online and daycares shuttered for months, working moms took on the majority of both housework and childcare. The statistics are worse for single moms and moms of color. Because of the pandemic, over two million women are considering an extensive leave of absence or even leaving the workforce. This makes the broken rung even harder to repair. 

How Do We Fix It?

Continuous Development – Women need skills including strategic thinking and negotiation to level the playing field. If your company doesn’t have an official leadership development program, find your own. It’s a good investment of your T.E.A.M.

Get a Mentor – If your company does not offer an official mentoring program, seek one outside the company. Research shows mentees were promoted five times more than an employee who didn’t have a mentor.

Network – Collect people: mentors, coaches, sponsors, peers. A support network makes it 2.5 times more likely you’ll be seen as a high performer and ready for advancement. 

Visibility – Share what you’re learning in leadership development with your manager during your 1:1s. Forward reference materials to colleagues and copy your manager. Bring up your development plan during reviews. Post about your progress on LinkedIn. Let the world know you’re taking responsibility for your growth and are ready to serve as a leader.

Stand up for Yourself – If you get passed over for promotion, ask why. Your manager should give you clear feedback regarding what you lack. If you feel the suggestions are vague, press for specifics. Is it a skill? Learn it. Is it not enough experience? Ask your manager to give you assignments that will help you gain it. Make these your immediate goals and achieve them before your next promotion attempt. Keep your manager apprised of your progress. 

Have you experienced unconscious gender bias? How did you call attention to it? Have you ever been unconsciously gender biased? What are you doing to be more aware? Please share in the comments.

More Precious Than Gold


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In a former life, I volunteered as a worship leader in the elementary ministry at a church in south metro Atlanta. (Fun fact: if you can motivate 5th grade boys to participate in worship, you can do anything.) At every service, we quoted our bullet-pointed mission statement. One of those bullets was The Golden Rule (TGR): Treat others the way you want to be treated. Flash forward to the present where a flaw in logic has reached my attention. TGR assumes others want to be treated the way I want to be treated. You know what assuming does (if not, DM me). Turns out, there is a better rule to follow: The Platinum Rule (TPR). It says: Treat others the way they want to be treated. How can following TPR help you interact with your work team?

Everyone has a unique personality, but a few common traits dominate. When you identify those traits, you can predict how to both communicate with colleagues and motivate them to do their best work. How do you find out how people want to be treated? First, you have to know your own behavioral style so you can adjust it to build rapport with those different from yours. Then, you can ask, observe, and experiment.

Ask

If you’re a manager, what are your direct reports’ goals, motivations, values, and learning styles? You can find out by having them take a personality assessment (DISC, CliftonStrengths, Ennegram, Meyers-Briggs, etc., there are a ton). The resulting data helps you better tailor employee incentives. For example, If money motivates Jack, giving him a raise should make him more productive. But, if Jill is motivated by a flexible schedule, giving her a four-day work week instead of a raise would make her more productive.

Observe

Identify a coworker who follows TGR. They are treating you the way they want to be treated. (Mind. Blown.) Look for patterns and habits. What is their vocabulary like? Do they openly share their feelings? Do they dress casually or more suit and tie? How is their workspace designed? Interact with them in various environments: meetings, social situations, continuing education training. For example: In a brainstorming meeting, who likes to throw all kinds of ideas out for group discussion and who likes to sit quietly and process one idea at a time?

Experiment

Make note of how your manager responds to public praise, a thank-you note, or when you make time for a huddle they request. Ask questions like,“Would you rather this conversation be a meeting or an email?” and “When you’re doing deep work will you turn your IM to Do Not Disturb so I know not to bother you, please?” Try different communication mediums and notice which they reply to the quickest: Email? Phone call? Text? IM? Video chat? In conversation, mirror their non-verbal cues. Do they relax? When you make people comfortable, they know, like, and trust you faster.

TPR requires more work than TGR, and brings more reward. TGR is easy because we know what we like, but for building relationships, TPR is better. How do you want to be treated? Please share in the comments.

You’re Asking For It

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Our daughter called to tell us that a high-profile initiative she discovered and shepherded right up to the president of the international company’s office was approved. We celebrated then asked if this could lead to a promotion. She reminded us she was promoted in the last round of reviews and no one receives consecutive promotions. I suggested that may be because no one brings this level of business development to the company until now. (You expect her mother to say that, right?) Our conversation reminded me how difficult it can be to ask for promotion.

Problem

Society conditions us to believe our work should speak for itself and our employer will automatically reward us. Your manager’s job description may include developing you professionally, but they don’t have time to ask themselves, “Did my direct reports do anything promotion worthy today?” You are in charge of your future. If you’re doing next level work, you deserve promotion. Just because it’s not normal doesn’t mean you shouldn’t discuss it with your manager. You may be a catalyst for change.

Solution

Study the job description of the position you want. Do and document that next level work (especially your successes), then ask for the promotion at the appropriate time. Prepare for it by answering these questions:

Who profits from it? Promotion has to benefit your team, manager, other departments, the company, your clients, and you. What do others gain from your promotion? Leadership? Loyalty? Labor? Are other people going for this promotion? What makes you different? Do you have more: Certifications? Creativity? Connections? Be prepared to address how you’ll arrange handing off clients, working with teammates who may be jealous, and prioritizing multiple projects.

What have you done to earn it? Know the metrics by which your job performance is measured and track them weekly, quarterly, and yearly. Use this data to quickly and easily build your case. For example: How much money did you save the company? How much revenue did you bring in? How innovative is your solution to a perpetual challenge? What are your department’s KPIs?

When is the best time to ask for it? Traditionally, formal annual job performance reviews are the best time to present your case. If your company evaluates more frequently, don’t let receiving a promotion last time stop you from asking for another this time. If your company doesn’t do annual reviews, request one. You need to know at least every 365 days if you’re doing the quality of work that leads to promotion.

Why should you get it? Think of the objections your manager may raise and prepare for them. For example: Objection: No one receives consecutive promotions. Your Answer: No one brings this level of innovation to the company. Know your company’s top goals. Explain what you did to move the organization toward them using specific illustrations from your data.

How should you ask for it?

Do:
  • Act confident – make eye contact, sit up straight on the edge of the chair, speak in a conversational tone of voice
  • Control your emotions – if you feel nervous, convince yourself you’re excited
  • Be positive – you’re offering your manager the opportunity to shine by recognizing a rising star when they see one
Don’t:
  • Apologize – you aren’t imposing on your manager; your professional development is part of their job
  • Give your manager an out – Example: “Maybe this isn’t a good time, but…”
  • Play the victim – Example: “I need this promotion because (insert personal problem here)”

Result

If you receive the promotion by the end of the discussion, congratulations! But, don’t be stressed if you get a cliffhanger. It’s a good sign when your manager wants to contemplate your case instead of immediately saying no. If this happens, follow up in a week’s time. If you’re denied promotion, ask why. Is this a bad time for the company? Schedule a follow-up meeting for next quarter. Is there something lacking in your current job performance you need to work on (e.g., emotional intelligence, project management, leading a team)? Ask for projects showcasing those abilities. Do you lack the skills or certifications required for promotion? Set goals to obtain them. At the very least, this conversation makes your manager aware of your desire to contribute at a higher level.

What do you think is the most challenging aspect of asking for a promotion? Please share in the comments.

A Matter of Trust

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This is the last article of the series Know, Like, Trust. If you missed the first two, you can find them here and here. I saved trust for last because it’s pretty hard to achieve without the other two. Let’s say a Potential Client (PC) knows and likes us. Now, how can we earn their trust?

Respect

Becoming known and liked can happen relatively quickly, but trust doesn’t. It takes time to demonstrate integrity, dependability, and consistency. PCs trust our companies after they trust us as people. We need to accurately represent what our companies stand for and broadcast those core values through multiple communication channels. We should be prepared to answer frequently asked questions like:

  • Can your company really do what you say it can? We’re able to answer this with a testimonial page on our companies’ websites.
  • Do you really want to help my business succeed? We prove this by sharing our PCs’ “We’re Hiring!” posts on our companies’ social media platforms.
  • Are we like-minded in our values? We affirm this with a how-we-help statement in every employees’ elevator speech.

We know we’re earning our PCs’ trust when they begin liking, commenting on, and/or sharing our social media content. Sharing is especially exciting. It indicates our PCs are engaging with, endorsing, and embracing our companies’ value-driven content.

Realign

The biggest mistake we make in communication is assuming it has happened. Paraphrasing what our PCs said, reflecting it back, and repeating the process until we verify we heard correctly, demonstrates we not only want to understand the problems, but we are also actively listening. Initially, this exercise is time consuming, but realigning our communication style to our PCs’ streamlines the process for future conversations. Being in accord with our PCs is crucial when it’s time to address sensitive issues. For example, how we will handle our PCs’ customers’ Personally Identifiable Information (PII).

Resource

After all this work, we may discover we aren’t the best solution for a PC. Our role then becomes connecting them to someone who is, because we are in relationship with our PCs for the life of their businesses. We demonstrate both trust and courage when we offer, “What you need isn’t what we’re best at, but I know someone who is.” It’s important to have an established network of colleagues we know, like, and trust to partner with so when this happens, we’re ready to refer them. It not only solves our PCs’ current problem, but also sets us up as the future go-to, trouble-shooting resource. When our PCs’ next crises strikes, we will be the first people they reach out to for help. Referrals build trust between all businesses involved in reaching solutions. People love to connect people they trust to one another. When we pay it forward, our colleagues feel obliged to repay in kind by connecting us with one of their PCs whose problem we can better solve. The loyalty these relationships inspire can help everyone’s companies grow exponentially. When our PCs trust us, they want to keep collaborating with us. Who doesn’t want to work with someone who solves their problems?

What do you do to prove your trustworthiness to PCs? Please share in the comments.