Goals – Page 11 – mardihumphreys.com

Minimize to Maximize

Social media bombards you with images of your connections allegedly living their best lives. FOMO compels you to keep up, but that doesn’t make you feel any better. It’s time to embrace JOMO (Joy of Missing Out). This acronym is usually associated with redefinitions of productivity and/or self-care, particularly in terms of disconnecting with social media. Here are three other ways you can apply it.

Sift Through Stuff

You still have the interview suit you bought five years ago because it may come back in style later. You saved 198 business books to your Amazon Wish List because you may want to read them later. You’re thinking about renting a storage shed because your twenty-five-year-old daughter may need her American Girl Doll collection later. (No? Just me? Okay.) At some point, you have to acknowledge that now is actually later. It takes energy both to identify what you don’t need and to let it go. Learning to be content with what you have, instead of being afraid you’re going to miss stuff after it’s gone, is a major mindset shift. Start small. For example, go through your closet and remove items you haven’t worn for five years. (I’m spotting you a couple of years to allow for COVID.) Bag them up for donation drop off, but don’t take them. Set the bags on the floor of your closet. If you don’t miss the bagged items after three months, then donate them.

Use a Filter

Instead of saying yes to every volunteer opportunity, choose the nonprofit you most connect with and put your energy into that one instead of exhausting yourself trying to serve several. Use your personal mission statement to set a boundary. For example, if your personal mission statement is, “I want to help people obtain what they need to succeed,” then that may translate into “I want to volunteer at The Foodbank four hours a month.” Then focus your efforts and your mind on that experience.

Narrow Your Choices

The classic example of having too many choices is the jam study by Iyengar and Lepper. They set up a display of 24 gourmet jams at an upscale grocery. They offered a $1 off coupon to shoppers who sampled a jam. At a later date, they set up the display with the same offer, but only made six gourmet jams available. The display with 24 choices received more traffic, but the display with six choices resulted in more sales.They concluded that it is good to have options, but too much of a good thing is still too much. If there are only six jams to choose from, then you are more likely to be satisfied with your purchase. If there are 24 jams to choose from, then you are more likely to wonder if maybe you should have purchased the blueberry bourbon pecan flavor instead of the balsamic fig. It’s like your performance review. For example, you can give your manager a list of all the great things you did last quarter, but you benefit more by reexamining what your manager’s goals were for last quarter and only presenting illustrations of how you helped them reach those goals. Maximize their satisfaction by minimizing their choices.

How have you avoided FOMO by embracing JOMO this week? Please share in the comments.

I’ll Think About Procrastination Tomorrow

“I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make when they go by.”
Douglas Adams

I felt bad about moving the T in my S.M.A.R.T. goal back. AGAIN. Then I discovered Hofstadter’s law. In 1979 cognitive scientist Douglas Hofstadter said any plan you make will always take longer to complete than you expect it to; even if you over estimate how long the plan will take to complete. So, it’s not just me; it’s all of us. In fact, intentionally pushing back deadlines, or procrastination, can be a useful tool.

Purposeful Delay

The key to making procrastination a superpower is to do it intentionally. In 1927 Russian psychologist Bluma Zeigarnick proved that if you are interrupted during a task and you leave it unfinished, then you actively remember it until the task is completed. When you purposely leave a task unfinished in order to remember to do it, that is active procrastination. It’s different from passive procrastination, which is leaving a task unfinished because you don’t want to do it. For example, if you binge watch euphoria to avoid returning a client’s voicemail, then you are passively procrastinating. However, if by the end of an episode you discovered how to address the client’s concern and return their call, then you are actively procrastinating.

Problem Solving

If you pressure yourself to get everything done by the end of the work day, (shoutout to Team Inbox Zero!) then it takes self-control to let an issue go undecided. But when procrastinating to problem solve, you have to allow enough time for creativity to happen. The trick is knowing how long the creativity will take. You can’t tell your manager that you missed a deadline because you were thinking about all the possible solutions. For example, set a time limit, like half an hour, and do something totally unrelated to the challenge you’re trying to resolve. Walk the dog, play solitaire on your phone (or with a real deck of cards), shoot some hoops. Switch to a physical activity that engages more of your senses and less of your brain. Revisit the project after your set time is up. Whatever new avenues you now see to explore, limit your choices to those.

Priority List

Intentional procrastination is useful for prioritizing. In some cases if you put a task off long enough, then you realize you don’t need to waste your time doing it. For example, at the end of your work day you make a list of what you did not get done today and intend to get done tomorrow. If there is a task that ends up on that list every day for a week, then at the end of your work week think about why you didn’t accomplish it. Is the task necessary? Is it a lengthy process that needs to be broken down into multiple tasks? Is it a task you can delegate to a direct report?

How do you make time for procrastination and still meet deadlines? Please share in the comments.

Fake It Till You Make It

I was really excited to listen to this episode of Adam Grant’s podcast, WorkLife because it featured comic Taylor Tomlinson. The topic of the conversation was imposter syndrome. You have to have a lot of confidence to be a stand-up comic so I was surprised to learn that Tomlinson struggles with it. Volumes have been written about imposter syndrome since the concept was introduced in the 1970’s. How is it still a thing?

Old Assumptions

From its inception as a theory, imposter syndrome had a negative connotation because it induces sabotaging emotions like mistrust and fear. It is a mindset of self-doubt that plagues high-achievers. You think you don’t deserve your current level of success and any minute now you’ll slip up and be exposed as a fraud. But is that belief always bad? Can that fear be employed as motivation to become as competent as you want to feel?

New Data

Basima Tewfik is an Assistant Professor of Work and Organization Studies at the MIT Sloan School of Management. In October 2021, she released her study on imposter syndrome. She hypothesized that people with imposter syndrome have a gap between the perception of their competence and how competent they actually are. She worked with three different test groups in three different situations. In all three groups she found that the imposter-syndrome sufferers performed their jobs just as well as, if not better than, the test subjects who did not experience imposter syndrome. She concluded that the imposter-syndrome sufferers put additional efforts into their interpersonal skills.

Apply It

How could this new knowledge work for you? For example, you’ve probably heard that women apply for jobs when they meet 100% of the criteria in a job description, while men apply for jobs when they meet 60% of the qualifications. If women saw jobs they wanted, decided to acquire more of the skills listed in the description, and applied for the job anyway, then they demonstrate curiosity, continuous improvement, and problem-solving skills. Hiring managers crave these characteristics.

Thought Experiment

Imagine someone exposes you as a fraud. Picture the scene in your head with as much detail as possible.

Who is it?
What expertise do they claim you don’t have?
When in the process do they call you out?
Where are you when they challenge you?
Why do they say that you don’t know what you’re talking about?
How do you respond?

Your answers empower you to acquire knowledge, learn new skills, and practice emotional intelligence. These enable you to bridge the gap between what you perceive and what is real. You can feel like you earned your success.

Imposter syndrome involves both how you see yourself and how you think others see you. Here’s something else you can try: Ask three people you trust what they think your strengths are. If their feedback does not match how you want to be perceived, you now have information to plan your next goal.

How will you use this new research to make imposter syndrome work for you? Please share in the comments.

You Can’t Always Get What You Want

While researching for last week’s article, I came across Martin Luther King, Jr.’s “Letter from Birmingham Jail.” How have I gone my whole life, including college English and history classes, and not known about this?! I fixed that oversight in my education. The 20-page letter is an eloquent expression of indignation and disappointment. How demoralized King must have been every time he banged his head against the brick walls of racism. His determination to wield his disappointment as a catalyst for change is a master class in rhetoric. His example can inspire our behavior at work.

Open Your Mind

When you are disappointed because you didn’t get the reaction you wanted, pause long enough to let the emotion finish its cycle. Then, analyze the situation with as much objectivity as you can muster. With that particular door closed, what window just opened? For example, if you were rejected for a promotion, then you need to consider your role in the organization through the selection committee’s eyes:

Did you work really hard at projects they consider housekeeping?
Did the person who received the promotion spotlight themselves more than you did?
Is the promotion political instead of based on merit?

The answers to these questions plant another decision tree:

Will the selection committee give you feedback regarding why you weren’t promoted?
Are you willing to do what it takes to get promoted?
Do you want to remain an employee of this company?

When eight fellow clergymen publicly criticized King for his Birmingham Campaign, he chose to use his time in jail to write a treatise that still speaks to us today. Even though his body was incarcerated, his mind was free.

Practice Emotional Intelligence

When you are disappointed because your expectations are not aligned with your coworkers, communicate.You are probably not alone in your disappointment. You can state in a meeting or an email what you perceive, then ask for clarity. For example, Does everyone on your team know what their role in a project is? Do they know what each other’s roles are? Does everyone know which project has priority and when it is due? Not all projects are equal. The client who supplies your organization with the most revenue will receive most of the team’s energy even if they are not the team’s favorite client. “Letter from Birmingham Jail” is King’s comprehensive effort to communicate with his fellow clergymen and align everyone’s expectations.

Level Up Your Goals

When you are disappointed because you failed to reach one of your S.M.A.R.T. goals, use the setback to refine and iterate your next one. For example, is the system you’re using to qualify leads not helping you meet your monthly quota? Analyze your process. Are all the elements sound? Did you not make quota three months in a row? Were any external circumstances negatively impacting your process? In his “Letter from Birmingham Jail,” King broke down his process of the non-violent campaign into four basic steps and gave examples of how he and his coworkers for justice moved through them.

How do you use disappointment to push yourself forward? Please share in the comments.

Lessons for Losers

Competition is a central theme in American society. The Super Bowl and the Olympics happening at the same time gave us competition overload. Even the men honored for President’s Day won a contest. You’re in contests every day. At work, you’re competing with teammates for the next promotion, on social media you’re competing with “friends” for likes, at home you’re competing with hostile Minecraft mobs for survival. Given the nature of competition, there can only be one winner. That means the majority of contestants are going to lose. How are the losers supposed to recover?

Perspective

Winning a contest often involves luck (preparation meets opportunity). When you have one shot at beating the competition, like the Super Bowl, many variables have to combine in just the right order to win. That’s one of the reasons underdogs are so appealing. After the Bengals lost the Super Bowl, quarterback Joe Burrow’s comments were full of responsibility for his performance, grace for his team, respect for his opponent, and hope for the future. His emotionally intelligent response after the loss is a template for how you can react when your team experiences a setback at work.

Perseverance

When you have to wait four years for a shot at a gold medal, having an off day during your short program can crush your spirit. In 2018 men’s figure skater, Nathan Chen, was favored to win gold in PyeongChang. But a series of failed jumps left him placing fifth in the men’s singles competition. Like a true statistics and data science major, Chen spent the next four years analyzing what went wrong and what it would take to fix it. He had plenty of experience dealing with adversity in regard to figure skating. When he started, his family was impoverished. He used his sister’s skates and all the money his mother could scare up to pay his coach. Chen seemed to learn early in his training that the only failure is giving up. The rest is just gathering data. His perseverance paid off when he won the 2022 gold medal in men’s singles figure skating in Beijing. His tenacity after the loss is a reminder to refine, iterate, and try your process again after your team experiences a setback at work.

Pivot

Everyone has to accept the outcome of a Presidential election otherwise democracy doesn’t work. If those who don’t like the outcome refuse to accept it and actively work to change it, then the nation can’t move forward. You don’t have to like the result in order to accept it. For example, Al Gore did not like the outcome of his 2000 Presidential contest with George W. Bush. But on December 13, 2000, after the Supreme Court decided 5-4 (another contest, btw) that Bush was the President of the United States, Gore said this: “Let there be no doubt, while I strongly disagree with the court’s decision, I accept it. For the sake of our unity as a people and the strength of our democracy, I offer my concession.” He turned his desire to serve the public into raising awareness of the dangers of climate change. Gore wrote and starred in An Inconvenient Truth for which he won an Academy Award for Best Documentary in 2007. His decision to shift focus after the loss is an inspiration to try new ideas after your team experiences a setback at work.

What lessons did you learn from the losers of the Super Bowl, Olympics, and Presidential elections that inspire you to keep competing? Please share in the comments.

Isn’t It Romantic?

It’s not the most romantic topic to discuss for Valentine’s Day, but since close to three out of four American couples say that money is what they fight about most, let’s get to the bottom of the problem so that we can get back to the love.

Our Lips Are Sealed

No one talks about money. Do you know what your coworkers’ salaries are? Trends indicate that 2022 will be the year to normalize pay transparency. If you can get comfortable talking with your team about money, then it will be easier to discuss with your partner too. Fights about money aren’t really about the money. They are about how we feel about the money. We bring all kinds of beliefs about it to our relationships including what society taught us about it, how our family used it, and our past experiences with it. For example, if you’d rather save money than spend it, then the pain center in your brain activates when your partner makes a purchase that you consider expensive. You may feel like you work hard to earn your paycheck and it’s bad enough that taxes, insurance premiums, retirement savings, etc., come out of it before you even see a penny and now your partner is spending what’s left on whatever they want. The spender got joy out of the purchase, but is now frustrated by your judgement of their decision. Both of you are making up negative narratives about one another in your heads because neither one of you feels good talking about what just happened. Now MY head hurts.

Start Me Up

Talk about money. When you decide to share your partner’s financial responsibilities, you both have to be self-aware enough to know what your values, triggers, and goals are. Then you both have to be brave enough to calmly communicate them to your partner on a regular basis. The two of you are in this financial situation together and need to maintain a team mindset. Keep your first conversation basic. Talk about a budget. For example, at least discuss what you have to spend (bills), what you have to save (emergency fund), and what you want to spend (leisure). If the word budget has a negative connotation for either you, or your partner, or both, then rename it. Call it Spending Plan, or Our Money Goals, or whatever label reminds you both that this agreement is a tool to help you build your future together. Ahhh…now we’re back to the love.

Let’s Dance

I oversimplified the solution, and simple doesn’t mean easy. Achieving financial compatibility can be more complicated than learning the Viennese Waltz. I boiled it down to give you a launch pad. The very act of starting the money conversation will give both of you peace of mind. You can’t put a price tag on that.

Why do you think talking openly about money is taboo in our society? Please share in the comments.

Hidden Treasure

Photo by Tima Miroshnichenko from Pexels

Continuous improvement is my business, so I’m habitually looking for manual processes to automate. Some of my clients get nervous because automation could eliminate an employee’s job. But that employee has a big advantage over the automating software application: soft skills. Only human beings can combine wisdom, communication, leadership, and self-awareness to get work done. If the employee is valuable, then I suggest the client take this opportunity to advance them into leadership. That decision calls for careful consideration because individual contributors tend to get promoted for their technical skills. However, the promotion often comes with people to manage requiring soft skills the new manager may not have. Here are three characteristics to look for when identifying a potential leader.

Growth Mindset

Leaders are constantly learning, questioning their own assumptions, and seeking feedback. For example, leaders:

Take personal initiative to adopt the company’s mission. They decide to find their role in furthering it even if being an individual contributor is not their dream job
See the big picture and think strategically about how they can help the organization get from where it is to where it wants to be
Not only focus on what they can control during a crisis but also look for new opportunities the crisis may spawn
Realize the next step toward a goal may require two steps back
Develop confidence when they refuse to be victims of setbacks
Favor performing small experiments to get the team comfortable with failure. They frame these failures as necessary to eliminate what doesn’t work
Don’t wallow in regret when they make a mistake. Instead, they find out where they went wrong to prevent it from happening again
Recognize the importance of celebrating every baby step the team takes toward their goal

Inspires Collaboration

Bestselling business author Daniel Pink, says 70% of employees spend at least some of their workday “persuading or convincing others.” People who do this well and for the benefit of both the project and the people working on it, are leaders. They:

Positively build, cultivate, and engage a disparate team to promote a workplace culture of diversity, equity, inclusion, and belonging
Give relentless respect to earn trust and strive for mutual understanding
Rally the team to buy in to the plan that will complete the mission
Manage conflict to foster debate instead of defense
Encourage everyone on the team to maintain an attitude of, “It’s us against the problem, not us against each other.” This bonds the team and makes everyone stronger for the next challenge

Chronic Curiosity

In his book, Play Nice But Win, Michael Dell, Founder, Chairman, and CEO of Dell Technologies says, “Change, true transformation, is a race with no finish line.” Thanks to technology the rate of change is increasing and it’s not going to slow down. Leaders:

Champion transformation and look for what is coming next
Are more interested in relevant results than in looking the smartest person in the room
Apply the scientific method to business challenges. For example, COVID is forcing leaders to think critically about how work gets done because business “as usual” no longer exists. Solving that challenge begins with curiosity

What qualities do you look for in a potential leader? Please share in the comments.

Be Like Betty

Betty White and I are birthday buddies. This January 17 is a more somber celebration as I both fondly and gratefully contemplate her example of a life well lived. To be (basically) a centenarian is an amazing accomplishment, but her longevity isn’t the most impressive thing about Betty White. When People magazine asked her about it recently, Betty attributed her long life to being a cock-eyed optimist. She said, “I got it from my mom, and that never changed. I always find the positive.” That mindset guided Betty to make wise choices regarding her T.E.A.M.; especially when it came to her work. Here are a few examples.

Betty Spent Her TIME Honing Her Craft

After co-hosting a daily variety show, Hollywood on Television, in 1952 she began hosting solo. For the next four years she improvised five and a half hours of live television six days a week by herself. At the same time, she produced and starred in another television show called Life with Elizabeth, for which she won her first Emmy. Over the following 70 years, Betty won seven more Emmys plus a Grammy, two Screen Actors Guild awards, and many other accolades. She wasn’t in the entertainment industry to win awards, but they are evidence of her job performance.

Betty Spent Her ENERGY Seeking New Projects

Her big break into celebrity came when she did a guest spot on the Mary Tyler Moore show. She did the job so well, she was made a permanent cast member. Betty’s role on Hot in Cleveland happened the same way. The Snickers commercial she did for the 2010 Super Bowl led to a guest hosting gig on Saturday Night Live. Betty knew what she could do, identified the need, and provided value where she could. Those soft skills are crucial to every industry.

Betty Spent Her ATTENTION on Leadership

The Golden Girls was groundbreaking television at the time the show began airing. It spotlighted the needs of an often overlooked segment of the American population. The premise of Betty’s final sitcom, Hot in Cleveland, challenged society’s standards and perceptions of women’s beauty.

Betty Spent Her MONEY on Under-resourced Organizations

She was as famous for being a life-long animal lover as she was for being an actress and her work funded her passion. Betty’s fame generated a fan club: Bet’s Pets. The membership dues all went to various animal rescue charities that Betty participated in.

In choosing to spend her T.E.A.M. in these ways, Betty created an enviable legacy. I’m grateful that she not only left us with an abundance of her work roles to enjoy, but also with life roles to model.

Betty White’s life story is much larger than I can tell within my usual 500 words. You don’t have to Google very hard to find articles describing why she is regarded as a pioneer, cultural icon, and national treasure. How has her passing prompted you to examine your purpose for work and life? Please share in the comments.

Fiscal Fitness

I know you’re all in the holiday spirit and everything, but before the year gets away from you, stop for a minute and think about what you need to do with your finances before January 1. Taxes are the obvious consideration, but also think about your savings goals and protecting your credit rating.

Taxes

Slow Down: With the economy trying to recover from the effects of COVID-19, you may find yourself in a lower tax bracket next year. If you are able to defer receiving any year-end bonuses until January, they won’t be taxed this year. If you can afford it, you may also want to delay collecting payment from a few clients until January so that income won’t be taxed in 2021.

Speed Up: It’s not too late to take advantage of tax deductions for this year. Do you itemize your return? If so, do you have any expenses like medical payments, interest payments, or state taxes that you can pay now? Also, charitable deductions are still a great way to lower your taxable income if you follow the rules.

Saving

How did you do on your savings goals this year? Check the numbers on your long-term savings goals like a vacation, car, or house. Are you on track? Can you pay for holiday gifts without using credit cards? At this time of year you may be disappointed at the commercialization of the holidays and want to make them more meaningful by less money spending and more blessing counting. Use this mindset to embrace minimalism. The result is savings on decorations, food, and gifts. Consider giving presents that cost you something other than money. For example, invite a friend over for a mid-week holiday coffee date or a multi-player game of Fortnite. Your time is more valuable than your money. Did you get a holiday bonus? Think about depositing it in your IRA.

Credit

You may be making more purchases with credit cards this holiday season. It’s best practice to check your credit score monthly, so If you haven’t in a while, now is the time. Some credit cards offer this as a service when you have an account with them. If you’re thinking about getting a mortgage or car loan in 2022, you want to make sure your score is at least 700. Also, be mindful to keep your credit use below 30% of your total available credit, otherwise it can negatively impact your credit score. If you have debt on multiple credit cards or outstanding loans, instead of depositing that bonus check (you know, the one I keep harping on) in your IRA, use it to make an extra payment. Paying off debt is almost always the first priority.

The eye of the hurricane between the holidays and the new year allows you a bit of time to think. Use it to brainstorm what you’d like to accomplish next year. Let your imagination run wild. The sky is the limit. Maybe you want to buy a yacht or start your own business. Then, think about what finances you need to support those goals. What baby steps can you take in 2022 to achieve them?

What is your financial New Year’s resolution? Please share in the comments.

Help Me Help You

You don’t get a raise because you need the extra money. You get a raise because you’ve made a positive impact on the bottom line and the company anticipates you’ll contribute in the future. If you executed duties above your job description, brought in revenue, and/or saved the company money, then you deserve a raise.

It’s Work

If you don’t have a “Brag File” yet, start one. Right. Now. Populate a new folder on your desktop with complimentary emails from both clients and coworkers, the link to your recommendations page on LinkedIn, awards, and any other evidence of the great job you did over the past 365 days. With this research, write a report quantifying your value to the company using explicit data to empower your case. For example, “I saved the company $19,800 in training expenses through my network connections and research.” Practice talking about how what you’re currently working on will benefit the company in the near future. Check out websites like salary.com to find out what others with your job title make. All these things pulled together enable you to enter the meeting knowing your worth.

It’s Scary

Your goal is to make you, your manager, and your company successful. You did your due diligence and have every reason to be optimistic, but it’s natural to feel nervous. Set a positive tone when you walk into the room. After greetings and small talk, use your curiosity to dive into your agenda. Ask your manager what their priority is right now. Follow up their answer with what you did this past year to help them get closer to their goal by pulling that report from your Brag File. Thank them for their insight. Tell them you’ll use it to further refine your process to assist them in achieving their priority. Of course, that means you will take on more responsibility and you anticipate that more compensation accompanies that effort. Say that with a poker face. Take the emotion out of the conversation. Report what you did to further the company’s success last year, demonstrate how you intend to keep doing it next year, and put a dollar amount on what the company should invest in your time, energy, and attention. It’s more scary to not get the raise you could’ve received if you’d simply asked for it.

It’s Worth It

Seventy percent of employees who ask for a raise get one. You may be told no even though you performed your job above and beyond its description. COVID-19 decimated our economy and your employer may not have the funds to give you a pay increase right now. Ask if the company is open to other forms of compensation (e.g., flexible schedule). If your requests are rejected, schedule a meeting for six months from now to revisit the possibility. Ask what KPIs your manager would like to see you hit in the interim. Keep your manager updated on your progress either through scheduled 1:1s or an end-of-week emailed report showing that your work is aligned with both your manager’s and the company’s goals.

If the compensation conversation intimidates you, reframe your fear as excitement. You’re anxious to share the good news of how you’ve improved both yourself and the company during the past year. If your enthusiasm is welcomed by your manager, then that’s a good sign you have a future with the company. If it isn’t, well, that tells you something too.

What do you do to build up your confidence to ask for a raise? Please share in the comments.