Emotional Intelligence – Page 5

Cover Your Assets

Cybercriminals are increasingly sophisticated. As technology advances, so do the tactics they use to steal your identity during tax season. Since the consequences of not filing income taxes are rather unpleasant, how can you prevent becoming a victim?

File Early

The Internal Revenue Service (IRS) encourages early filing as a preventive measure against identity theft and tax fraud. When you file early, you reduce the window of opportunity for scammers to impersonate you. Consider filing your taxes as soon as you receive all your statements like: W-2s, 1099s, and tax deduction records. Here is a full list. If a cybercriminal steals enough of your Personally Identifiable Information, (PII) then they can use it to impersonate you, file tax returns, and claim your refunds. You can beat them to the punch by submitting your legitimate returns as soon as possible. This also allows you to address any discrepancies on your return with the IRS before fraudsters can exploit them.

If Someone Files for You

If you choose to enlist the help of a tax preparer, ask them about their data protection practices. How do they ensure the security of your PII? When a tax professional fills out your return, you have to trust them with most of your personal and financial data, so do your research. Read reviews and get referrals from people you trust. Does the tax preparer comply with industry standards and regulations regarding the handling of sensitive financial information? What are their professional certifications? Are they members of reputable organizations, such as the National Association of Tax Professionals or the American Institute of Certified Public Accountants? While not a guarantee, these affiliations expect adherence to strict ethical standards and data protection guidelines. When you do select a tax professional, before turning over any PII, ask about their security measures for safeguarding client information. A trustworthy tax preparer should have strong data protection policies like encryption protocols, secure file storage, and restricted access to client files.

If You File Your Own

Network: When filing your taxes online, make sure to use a secure and password-protected internet connection. Do not use public Wi-Fi networks to file. They are notorious for their lax security measures. Hackers love taking advantage of them.

Software: Make sure your computer’s operating system, antivirus software, and tax preparation software are up to date. Regular updates often include security patches that protect against known vulnerabilities.

Passwords: Use complex passwords for your online tax accounts, and avoid using the same password across multiple platforms. You know the drill. Your password should contain an uppercase letter, a number, a special character, and a haiku. Just kidding. A combination of letters, numbers, and special characters will do the job.

Authentication: Many tax preparation platforms offer Multi-Factor Authentication for an added layer of security. Even if it means waiting for a code to arrive on your mobile device, it is better to be patient than hacked.

Phishing: Think before you click on links or open attachments to emails whose subject lines say they are about your tax filings. Phishing scams mimic official communication from tax authorities and look extremely authentic. They can deceive you into unwittingly and unwillingly disclosing your PII.

How will you safeguard your PII this tax season? Please share in the comments.

Under the Influence

Coworkers and managers influence your decisions. They have plans for you, but do their expectations align with your values, skills, and goals? Influence is a powerful tool that shapes your organization’s decisions, strategies, and culture. As a leader, it’s essential to intentionally decide whom you allow to influence you, but how?

Who You Are Looking For

Stay away from influencers who are negative, office politicians, cynical, and toxic. Look for people who ooze credibility, integrity, and reliability. Seek out people whose life experiences and ideas are different from yours. Surround yourself with individuals who encourage, inspire, and interact with everyone; not just those who can help them get ahead. You want to follow leaders who are committed to building a healthy and productive workplace environment. These may be colleagues with seniority, peers with specialized knowledge, or direct reports whose work ethic you admire.

What You Want From Them

You need influencers who will offer guidance, provide valuable insights, and exert a positive influence on your leadership style. These are not people who tell you what you want to hear. They both challenge and uplift you. They are accountability partners who spark your mutual growth. Align yourself with individuals who tell you the truth in love. You can identify them by the way they ask you questions then allow you space to rethink your opinions. These types of leaders are busy people. Relentlessly respect their time and find ways to bring value to the relationship.

Boundaries

It’s tricky to collaborate as a member of a team and complete your own assignments and avoid becoming a doormat. To maintain this delicate balance, you have to diplomatically manage both your supervisors’ and coworkers’ influence.

Set: Do you have time to complete your report and help your coworker prep for their client meeting? Be realistic about your own workload and deadlines. Does your team share calendars? Can they see when you are busy and vice versa? It is better to be unexpectedly available than to withdraw the help you said you’d give.

Communicate: As Brene Brown says, “Clear is kind. Unclear is unkind.” When you receive requests for help, first express your willingness to collaborate then email your manager and copy the requestor. Ask for clarity on whose project has priority in terms of what is best for the organization. If your manager decides your input is crucial to the project your teammate is working on, and that means you will miss a deadline on your own work, then ask what the new deadline for your own work is.

Protect: When prioritizing someone else’s project benefits you, your teammate, and your company, then it makes sense to move your boundary. But there is always that one person (let’s call them: TOP) who repeatedly asks for help until that task you do for them becomes part of your job description. Every time TOP asks for help, ask yourself: What is TOP’s track record for getting their own work done? Does what TOP wants me to do directly impact our organization’s bottom line? Will this project make me more visible to management and/or clients? Politely decline TOP’s invitation to do their work when the additional task conflicts with your current commitments or if it’s outside the scope of your responsibilities. It’s okay to offer guidance, share your expertise, and encourage problem-solving, but avoid taking on TOP’s tasks. For example, if TOP asks you for prospects, invite them to look at your LinkedIn contacts, filter for their target, and find people they want introductions to. If TOP persists, redirect them to your manager.

What criteria do you use to decide whom you allow to influence you? Please share in the comments.

How Do You Know?

A few weeks ago, we talked about how valuable it is to tolerate being bad at something long enough to get good at it. Since then, I’ve been asked a few questions. I’ll address three of them here.

The answer to all three is: It depends.

Q: How can you tell if you will eventually be good at a skill or if you will always be bad at it and are just wasting your time?

A: It depends on your attitude. For example, let’s say you are learning to program in Python. Are you so into it that you lose track of time while debugging your code? When you receive constructive feedback on your work, are you excited to try the suggested fixes? After studying the language for a month, do you feel good about how far you have come even if it is not very far? If you answered yes to these questions, then you have enough evidence to safely predict you will eventually be good at programming in Python.

Q: Doesn’t getting good at a skill just take hard work?

A: It depends on your mindset. Someone running on a treadmill and someone running on the street are both working hard, but the runner on the treadmill doesn’t go anywhere. Getting good at something depends more on how you learn rather than on how hard you work. Going back to the Python example, you can learn the language by putting in long hours every day, memorizing syntax, and struggling through coding exercises without seeking help or feedback. Using this approach you will hit plateaus and your progress will be slow because you are just repeating tasks without understanding them. Instead, if you focus on unlearning the outdated language you are currently writing in, understanding the underlying principles of Python, seeking guidance from experienced programmers, and participating in projects at work to apply what you are learning, then you will grasp concepts faster, troubleshoot more efficiently, and advance more quickly in mastering Python.

Q: Is it ever too late to acquire new skills?

A: It depends on your character. Are you naturally curious? If not, are you willing to grow that trait? Are you self-disciplined and resilient? Continuing the Python example, to be good at it you not only have to hone your technical skills you must also develop emotional intelligence, perseverance, and teamwork skills to use it at your job. Also, what motivates you? Do you set achievable short-term goals for yourself? Do you schedule time to learn Python on your calendar? Do you view difficulties as opportunities to learn? Determining if you will be good at Python, or any skill, requires self-awareness, feedback, and adaptability.

How do you stay motivated to be a life-long learner? Please share in the comments.

Optimization Obsessed

Photo by Mike Anderson

We often talk about continuous improvement in this space because making processes better is a good thing. But too much of a good thing is still too much. When does optimization reach the tipping point?

It’s a Tool

Optimization is neither inherently good nor bad. It is a powerful tool to streamline operations and enhance productivity. As with any tool, its effectiveness depends on how you use it. Optimization requires new projects to fit within an existing standardization model. That improves your efficiency, but it can also dilute the qualities that set you apart from your competition. Plus, you can only scale so big before the individuality and personal connections that define your company start to diminish.

The Human Touch

Optimization is about control and eliminatIng waste to achieve the best possible outcomes. But when every interaction is governed by predetermined algorithms, the spontaneity and warmth of human interaction can get lost in translation. Clients may feel like a number in a system instead of valued customers. Clients look for more than products and services. They also want connection, empathy, and understanding. Building and maintaining relationships, meeting individual needs, and providing tailored solutions are elements that cannot be fully replicated by automated systems.

Let It Rest

Rest is as crucial to job performance as training. Tired minds make mistakes and lack the compassion crucial to client interactions. The relentless pursuit of continuous improvement can both overwhelm and burnout your workforce. Implementing strategies to promote employees’ well-being is essential both for morale and sustainable optimization. For example, encourage managers to model work-life integration, support your staff’s self-care efforts, and provide opportunities for breaks and bonding. Your business is not a machine that can run continuously without pause. It is a collective of individuals whose well-being directly impacts the success of your organization. Lack of down time makes systems more fragile. Factor time to recharge into your optimization processes.

Strike a Balance

Limiting your company to just delivering products or services will put you out of business. You need to create an experience that resonates with your clients on a personal level. Decreased client satisfaction, disengaged employees, and a loss of innovation are signs that your optimization has gone too far. To course correct, seek feedback from both clients and employees on a regular basis.

Clients: If the data shows clients perceive a decline in the quality of their service, ask your team: Are we sacrificing the human touch for the sake of efficiency? Are we neglecting the unique needs and preferences of our clients in favor of standardization? How many Account Executives received praise from their clients in the last month? Build flexibility within your processes to allow time for stakeholder customization and care.

Employees: Listen to your team without judgement and make sure they know there will not be negative repercussions for their honesty. Note their concerns. If they say they feel like robots, or if burnout becomes pervasive, then the personal touch may be slipping away. Recognize the value of diversity and belonging. The resulting input can help mitigate the depersonalizing side effects of optimization. Evaluate your systems regularly and recalibrate them to allow for as much customization as makes sense. Regular check-ins, open communication channels, and fostering a positive workplace culture speed up your optimization efforts.

How do you maintain perpetually balancing between efficiency and empathy? Please share in the comments.

Toil and Trouble

This is part three of four in the series: Independently Owned and Operated.

Owning the consequences of your decisions is a cornerstone of successful leadership. It is a necessary step on the path of career advancement. But what about owning the consequences of decisions you did not make? What do you do when trouble finds you?

Responsibility

Everyone has hurdles, setbacks, and challenges. Some you bring on yourself. Plenty of others stem from external factors beyond your control. These are the moments your true character is revealed. However the challenge began, taking responsibility for the outcome indicates you are a resilient and self-aware leader. When you take responsibility for solving a problem you did not create, your colleagues see that you are committed to overcoming the challenge rather than blame the cause of it. And your managers see they can rely on you to address trouble head-on no matter where it comes from. Habitually handling trouble this way helps you generate the trust and transparency necessary for a collaborative and productive work environment.

Accountability

In a fast-paced work environment, errors occur despite your best intentions and planning. It is how you respond to these mistakes that defines your commitment to ownership. Rather than deflecting blame or making excuses, being accountable demonstrates you are willing to learn and grow from the experience. Maybe your project is plagued by unforeseen obstacles. Maybe that sparks tension among your team members. Maybe this sets in motion a series of unfortunate events beyond your control. You may be tempted to play the victim or act out in frustration. Instead, acknowledge the trouble and own the current reality. It empowers you to reclaim control of the situation and enlist your coworkers’ help in overcoming the obstacle. When the crisis is fixed dwell on what happened just long enough to identify any lessons you can learn from it. Seek feedback from both your team and stakeholders. Combine what you learn about the problem, solution, and result. Leverage the input to set a trigger to prevent that particular trouble from tripping the team up in the future. Owning the results helps you develop a mindset of continuous improvement.

Integrity

Owning accountability for results requires the emotional intelligence to both accept praise when things go well and shoulder the burden when they don’t. Learning from trouble requires humility and a willingness to confront your shortcomings with honesty and ethical conduct. Ethical dilemmas are everywhere in the workplace. Your team’s competing interests and values are constantly colliding. Business moves at the speed of trust. You, your managers, and your coworkers must be able to trust each other in order to get anything done. When faced with trouble of this sort, draw on your principles of empathy, fairness, and respect. Do not compromise your values for a short-term gain. It may be uncomfortable to stand firm in the face of conflict, but integrity is a non-negotiable aspect of professional conduct. It lays the foundation for your long-term success as a leader.

What do you do when trouble finds you at work? Please share in the comments.

Bad Blood

This is part two of four in the series: Independently Owned and Operated.

Disagreement over project management, differences in communication styles, and defensive personalities impact people, processes, and profits. When you let go of minor clashes with coworkers you prevent negative energy from impeding productivity for the entire team. But what do you do when you have ongoing conflict with a coworker?

Flip the Script

Conflict is inevitable in any workplace and it’s not always bad. If you expect it, then you are ready to do your part to constructively resolve it. Frame conflict in your mind as a learning opportunity. One of your most powerful tools to disrupt destructive patterns of conflict is active listening. When a conflict sparks, emotions run high, and communication breaks down. By actively listening to your teammate (make eye contact, nod in acknowledgment, paraphrase what you heard, and say it back to them) you demonstrate empathy and a genuine desire to understand their perspective. This not only ensures clarity, it also deescalates emotion. Take ownership of your part in the conflict. This is not an admission of guilt. It’s a declaration of empowerment. It demonstrates you have agency to shape the outcome. After actively listening to your coworker’s position, communicate your position in 30 seconds or less. Use “I” statements to avoid sounding accusatory. For example, say “I feel frustrated when…” instead of “You always do…” Receive their feedback as objectively as possible.

Walk a Mile

Put yourself in your teammate’s shoes. What is driving their behavior? What do they have at stake? Understanding their motivation helps you find common ground. Conflict resolution is not about winning or losing. It’s about working together to move forward. Acknowledge, assume, and appreciate that you both want the best solution to the conflict. If they did not care, then there would not be conflict so get curious. Is it possible to collaborate for a win-win outcome? Can merging your different perspectives address the root cause of your on-going conflict? It’s likely the solution you reach together will be stronger than a solution either of you will achieve on your own.

Recruit a Referee

You may not be able to resolve on-going conflict on your own. When it seems insurmountable, it’s time to bring in a neutral third party, like your manager or someone from HR. Ask them to facilitate a structured conversation. This needs to be a safe space for open communication and a confidential discussion. Do not jump to conclusions or assign blame. Do acknowledge your part in the situation and ask for honest feedback. The third party is removed from the emotion of the conflict and they have a higher-level view of it than both you and your teammate. This, combined with their experience, enables them to give you new ideas for resolution.

Continuous Improvement

Every conflict offers opportunity for personal and professional growth. Make time to reflect on the conflict resolution process. What worked well? What could be improved? What do you wish you’d done or said? What do you wish you had not done or said? Use each experience to refine your skills. Conflicts don’t have to be roadblocks. You can make them stepping stones to success.

Are you in conflict with a coworker? How are you working through it? Please share in the comments.

Beginnerhood

This is part one of four in a series titled: Independently Owned and Operated.

Whether you are upskilling or taking on increased responsibility, your success hinges on tolerating the discomfort of being bad at doing something new long enough to get good at it. How does owning your beginnerhood help you achieve your goals?

Learning a New Skill

Beginnerhood is an unavoidable phase in pursuit of any skill. For example, when you first learn to code, you write the source code, then compile, link, and execute it over and over again until you get the result you want. It doesn’t take long to get both stuck and frustrated. If you remind yourself this phase is temporary, then you realize the discomfort will eventually go away because mastery comes from practice. Don’t shy away from trying new things because you are afraid to fail. Live in the discomfort long enough to learn from it.

Taking on Increased Responsibility

Whether it’s leading a team, handling larger projects, or managing important accounts, initially you will feel uncertain and maybe inadequate. To be successful, be humble. Acknowledge your initial shortcomings and state your desire to learn quickly. You will make mistakes. When they happen, frame them in your mind, and in your status reports, as part of your process for getting better every day. You are expected to stumble. You are also expected to persevere through challenges. You will not immediately have all the answers. Seek input from your teammates. Being vulnerable with them builds trust.

Overnight Success is a Myth

We all want instant gratification, so we think being bad at something is a setback. Expecting instant mastery is not only unrealistic but can also be a significant barrier to your professional development. The temptation to quit shortly after beginning can be strong. Pat yourself on the back every time you take the next step in doing something new. It helps get you through the awkwardness of your early attempts.

The Power of Resilience

Resilience is an underrated power skill. It’s the secret sauce of success. When you get discouraged by missteps, frame each stumble as a valuable lesson. Instead of seeing it as a deficiency, use it as a stepping stone. Bouncing back from initial failures and learning from those mistakes builds the strength you need to overcome future obstacles. Resilience doesn’t come from a string of unbroken successes. It comes from rising after every fall. Normalize setbacks so that you view them as opportunities for growth rather than insurmountable obstacles.

Cultivating a Growth Mindset

When you use these tools, you cultivate a growth mindset. You believe you can develop your abilities through dedication and hard work. This perspective transforms anxiety into excitement. You welcome challenges because they are opportunities to stretch your abilities and expand your skills. Successful people own their beginnerhood and workplaces can play a pivotal role in encouraging a growth mindset. When you focus on effort, perseverance, and resilience you create an environment where the team feels empowered to tackle new challenges without the fear of being judged.

Are you going through a beginnerhood? How are you handling the discomfort? Please share in the comments.

Working 5 to 9

If you received an inheritance, have passive income, or won the Powerball, yay you! But plenty of people seek additional employment to pay bills. Whether you refer to it as a side hustle, moonlighting, or a gig, as of April 2023, 39 % of Americans have one. Why do employees work side gigs? Why are employers concerned when an employee has one? What can both do to alleviate those concerns?

Why Employees Work Side Gigs

Finances – The cost of living keeps going up and as of March 2023, only 87 % of full-time private industry workers had access to medical care benefits. Self-funding health insurance, retirement, upskilling, etc., may not be possible with income from one full-time job.

Passion – The gig economy offers possibilities for personal growth. For example, maybe you are a teacher who loves baking and you have a side hustle making special occasion cakes. Experiments combining flavors and coming up with original designs is a creative outlet.

Development – A side gig is an opportunity to develop additional skills. For example, maybe you are a software developer who loves writing and you have a side hustle blogging for a website. Sharing your knowledge can establish you as a subject matter expert.

Why Employers Get Concerned

Conflict – An employee may end up working on projects that directly compete with yours. This results in divided loyalty and compromises the employee’s ability to prioritize and dedicate their full attention to the work they do for you. There is a risk that the knowledge, skills, or innovations they gained working for you could contribute to a competitor’s success.

Liability – If an employee’s side gig is in a similar industry or involves activities that could potentially harm the company’s reputation, you may be responsible for any consequences including financial repercussions.

Productivity – Employees with side hustles may find themselves stretched thin, leading to a decline in overall job satisfaction and eventually burnout. Side gigs may create tension among team members, especially if some employees feel burdened with extra responsibilities or perceive others as not fully committed to the team’s goals. This makes retaining your employees difficult.

How Both Can Come Together

Communicate – Employers should establish clear boundaries and written guidelines to ensure side gigs do not interfere with job responsibilities, deadlines, or the cohesion of the team. This will help maintain trust and prevent misunderstandings. Speaking openly of the side gig in regular check-in meetings promotes accountability.

Motivate – Employers can reap certain advantages from employees with side gigs. So, it’s crucial employers understand why their employee has one. Employees actively pursuing their passions outside of work find renewed inspiration and creativity. This positively impacts their job performance and helps employers retain a diverse and engaged workforce.

Innovate – Employers can embrace the concept of “intrapreneurship.” When employees channel their entrepreneurial spirit within the organization, employers can grow a dynamic and forward-thinking workplace culture. Employees with side gigs often bring new skills and experiences to their primary roles, fostering an environment of innovation and adaptability within the workplace.

Employers have legitimate reservations about their workforce engaging in side gigs. It’s essential to recognize that not all side gigs pose a threat to the employer-employee relationship. The nature of work evolves daily and business moves at the speed of trust. Tools like communication, empathy, and flexibility are necessary to help your organization thrive.

Do you have both a full-time job and a side gig? How do you make that work? Please share in the comments.

Genuine Connection

One of the most valuable resources for your professional growth is the wisdom and experience of Subject Matter Experts (SME). But approaching them requires respect and authenticity. A cold email with Can I Pick Your Brain? as the subject line makes you look lazy right off the bat. Let’s explore a strategic framework for reaching out that will lead to meaningful interactions and genuine connections.

Propose

Both you and the SME know you are asking them for a favor, so acknowledge that upfront with politeness and in-advance gratitude. For example, instead of using Can I pick your brain? as the subject line, substitute it with May I Learn from Your Experience? or May I Have Your Perspective? Then immediately after the greeting, clearly articulate why you’re reaching out. What specific insights do you want and why do you think this person can give them to you? Are you navigating a challenging project? Do you need to understand industry trends? Are you seeking career guidance? Describe their expertise that prompted you to reach out, then state what you will bring to the interaction. Emphasize the mutual benefits of connecting. For example, you can publish a post about what you learn from your conversation with them on your social media platforms and tag them. By framing the discussion as a two-way street, you position yourself as someone who values collaboration and is committed to adding value to their work.

Pregame

SMEs put content out into the world to test its resonance. Most are open to both feedback and discussion. But if your ask is vague or too open-ended, your SME won’t be able to meaningfully contribute to your development. Prepare a set of targeted questions that align with your goals and challenges. Include a couple in your cold email and request a meeting to obtain the SME’s answers. Set a flexible deadline for your request. For example ask, “Would you have time in the next two weeks to answer those questions and, depending on your answers, maybe one or two follow up questions?” Being upfront about your intentions shows you are mindful of the SME’s time and sets the stage for a focused and productive conversation. Giving the SME time to process your request before you meet is more likely to yield actionable advice.

Prepare

Nothing conveys sincerity more than establishing you’ve done your homework. Get familiar with their background, accomplishments, and any recent contributions they’ve made to their industry. In your cold email, reference specific aspects of their work that resonate with you. Before reaching out, follow them on LinkedIn and react and/or comment on their posts. This showcases your genuine interest in their expertise and signals that you pay attention to their work. SMEs are inundated with meeting requests. Offer to meet in person, to arrange a 20 – 30 minute videoconference, or to send them an email with a list of three to five questions they can answer at their convenience. Consideration of their time increases the likelihood of a positive response. It takes practice and follow up, but mastering the art of seeking advice from SMEs can be a game-changer in your professional journey.

Do you seek advice from strangers you admire? How do you ask them for it? Please share in the comments.

Your Top 12

Thank you for spending 2023 with me! As we begin a new year together, here are the top three articles in each category: Time, Energy, Attention, and Money (T.E.A.M.), based on the most views.

Time

Energy

Attention

Money

I appreciate you discussing these topics with me in 2023. I hope you found them useful. There are more in store for 2024!

What decisions around time, energy, attention, and money are you facing in the new year? Please share in the comments.