Emotional Intelligence – Page 2

Civil Service

I’m hearing the word civility used a lot lately in reference to the power skills necessary to grow a thriving workplace culture and I am here for it. We talked about appropriate ways to treat coworkers in this space before, but what is the civility trend? Why does civility matter? How can you integrate civility into your workplace?

The Civility Trend

Civility encourages coworkers to actively listen to one another, respect differing viewpoints, and collaborate cohesively despite personal differences. It helps everyone feel seen and valued, which boosts both morale and productivity. Maintaining civility is a business strategy. Policies and practices that help your team tactfully navigate disagreements are tools for employee retention. According to a study by the Center for Creative Leadership, 93% of workers consider respectful treatment a key factor in job satisfaction. More companies are integrating civility into their core values because it leads to a healthier work environment. A 2022 study by Civility Partners found workplaces that promote respectful exchanges experienced a 30% improvement in productivity and a 25% drop in employee turnover. Interpersonal conflicts challenge organizational efficiency because differing opinions and ideologies can cause rifts in relationships. Civility promotes inclusivity and minimizes workplace tensions.

Why Civility Matters

There are quantifiable financial risks of not cultivating a civil work environment. When employees experience negative interactions, they quit. A Work Institute Retention Report found that replacing an employee can cost up to 33% of their annual salary due to turnover, training, and lost productivity. In addition, there is usually a loss in productivity and an increase in the emotional toll on the remaining employees. This makes incivility a costly problem for your organization to ignore. On the flip side, prioritizing civility can offer a competitive advantage. Civility bridges divides to build an infrastructure where employees feel safe to share ideas without fear of judgment or punishment. If civility is one of your company’s values, then you will attract and retain top talent, incubate innovation, and enhance employee job performance because civility gives voice to diverse perspectives which results in better decision-making and faster problem-solving.

Civility in Your Workplace

Civility is more than just being polite. It’s the foundation of effective collaboration and communication. A civil workplace welcomes open dialogue and values each team member’s contributions. First you have to have enough emotional intelligence to know and manage yourself. You can take a personality test like Clifton Strengths Finders, DISC, or Enneagram, etc., to gain some self-awareness. Once you realize what makes you feel respected, then you can recognize what makes your teammates feel heard. When you spend time working with them, watch their reactions. Adjust your communication to not only relate to them but also build relationships. For example, when I’m facilitating a discussion, and it’s a topic I’m excited about, I have to remind myself to be quiet and let others share. I recognize a fellow introvert when I see one. I know I need to be careful to offer them opportunities to contribute to the conversation without putting them on the spot. For example: asking, “Jane, did I see your hand raised?” even if I didn’t. Then Jane has both an in if she wants to speak and an out if she doesn’t.

How do you promote an atmosphere of civility in your workplace? Please share in the comments.

Going Deeper

After we talked about deep work last month, I received feedback that it doesn’t work for everyone. Deep work proposes you schedule 60-90 minute blocks of uninterrupted time to concentrate on moving one project forward. In a perfect world, this is a daily habit. Since that is not the reality you and I live in, let’s explore an alternative.

Problem

For example, let’s say that in January you planned to use the deep work method to reach your goal of completing a certification by the end of December. Here in October, that plan has not worked out. Reflecting on your progress, you realize setting aside a one-hour uninterrupted block of time every day is not possible given your responsibilities and working conditions. You decide to extend your timeline to complete the certification in 2025. What adjustments do you need to make in the systems you’re using to complete your course?

Solution

In other words, since what you did has not achieved the result you want, what needs to change? Use SMART goals to provide direction and motivation, then establish support systems to maintain progress. For example: Do you need to get up an hour earlier to study? Do you need to set your materials in front of your door so you will trip over them? Do you need to put a post-it note on your laptop so it’s the first thing you do? Do you need to set a timer on your smartphone to prevent unlimited death scrolling? Do you need to silence it and put it in a drawer in another room?

Result

Continuous learning is crucial for staying ahead. Professional development that benefits the organization who employs you counts as work. If the organization you work for does not see it that way, then you have some serious thinking to do about your future with them. You should be able to schedule part of your workday or work week to increase your knowledge.
Set aside time for upskilling whether you are going for an official certification or not. Reading industry news, attending webinars, and taking online courses all count toward incorporating learning into your routine. They not only keep your skills up to date but also provide a break in your normal routine.
You may be surprised how making personal development a habit reduces your stress. It is counterintuitive, but spending your energy on learning can save you energy in the long run because it leads to innovative solutions and more efficient ways to manage tasks.
The trick is to break up the previously mentioned 60 – 90 minute blocks of focus time into bursts of 20 – 30 minutes and disperse them throughout your day. For example, you look at your schedule for tomorrow and see that you have four hours worth of meetings. Block 30 minutes prior, 30 minutes between, and 30 minutes after for yourself. Use the time to work on your upskilling.

You can apply this method to most complicated and time-consuming projects like writing an annual report, developing an app, creating a business plan, prototyping a new product or service, etc. This is basically breaking down big projects into tasks and assigning those tasks to your scheduled microbursts of time.

Which works better for you: deep work or short bursts of work? Please share your tips in the comments.

Look at the Time

Leadership requires you to coach, inspire, and shepherd people as well as manage resources like time and money. If you prioritize tasks, allocate resources prudently, and keep your team on track, then you can focus on accomplishing your organization’s mission rather than getting bogged down in day-to-day tasks. Time management helps you make better decisions, balance multiple responsibilities, and respond better to unexpected challenges.

Better Decisions

If you have a team meeting ten minutes from now, will reading this article make you late for the meeting? If you are late for the meeting, do you implicitly give your team permission to be late to meetings too? As a leader, how you manage your time sets the tone for your team. If you are organized and on time, then they are more likely to behave the same way. Effective time management demonstrates you value both your own time and that of others. It respects the team’s efforts and promotes a culture of productivity and collaboration.

Multiple Responsibilities

You do everything from managing projects and teams to developing new ideas and reporting to your manager. Time management helps you put your effort where it’s needed most. Carve out blocks of time in your schedule for thoughtful analysis and planning. Making time to align your work to your team’s goals helps you identify both opportunities and risks earlier, so you can efficiently manage both projects and resources. For example: During one of your planning blocks, you realize the project your team is working on will allow your client to create a new offering. You write an email to the client bulletpointing your observation and analysis. Your client replies very interested and grateful. When you balance your time well, you can maintain high performance across all your responsibilities without burning out or compromising the quality of your work.

Unexpected Challenges

You are producing an event one week from today. During a check-in call with the caterer, you discover they have the date wrong. They have a conflict and cannot cater your event. A well-structured schedule leaves margin for you to handle crises without derailing ongoing projects. That analysis and planning time you carved out comes into play here because during it, you made contingency plans. Now you can confidently delegate tasks quickly to your team, like calling other caterers, so they can continue to function during this challenge as well as remain calm under pressure.

Mastering time management is an ongoing process. Your goal is to try something, see what happens, analyze the result, change what you don’t like, then try again. There are plenty of strategies to help you manage your time. You can browse them by Googling “time management methods 2024,” then pick one and try it for three months. If you don’t like it, Google again and repeat the process. Don’t get discouraged if your first choice doesn’t work for you. Think of it like this: When someone on your team asks how you manage your time so well, you will have multiple methods to share as well as real-life experience using them. And that’s what a leader does. They use they use the intelligence they gather to serve others.

How do you manage your time to optimize your leadership? Please share your tips in the comments.

Hidden Risks

You want to make your hard-earned money work for you and the road to financial security can be winding and treacherous. There are plenty of organizations who shout about making you rich then whisper about the dangers involved. Turning control of your money over to someone else is risky. Here are three common pitfalls and how to avoid falling into their traps.

Credit Cards

Credit cards are convenient, short-term loans. They are easy to use, but they come with high-interest rates if you don’t pay off the full balance each month. Maxing out your credit cards, making only minimum payments, or missing payments can not only lead to mounting interest causing more debt over time, but also damage your credit score. This makes it harder to get loans in the future. For example, as of the end of Q2 2024, Americans had a total credit card debt of $1.28 trillion. Here in Ohio, our average household credit card debt was $9116. To avoid these pitfalls, you can set up automatic payments in your bank’s app to prevent missing due dates and make it a priority to pay off your balance each month. If you’ve already built up debt, consider consolidating it with a lower-interest personal loan. Or you could transfer your balance to a card offering zero-percent interest to accept your debt. If you’re thinking about transferring your balance to a new credit card, call your current credit card company first, tell them you are thinking about leaving them, and ask for a lower interest rate. It’s cheaper for them to keep your debt than lose you as a customer.

Cryptocurrency

Many people see it as a way to get rich quickly, but the truth is cryptocurrency is highly volatile. Just look at what happened to Bitcoin after a presidential debate where cryptocurrency wasn’t even a topic. Prices can rise and fall drastically in a short time. If you invest without fully understanding how these currencies work, you will lose a lot of real money when the market dips. To avoid pitfalls, don’t assume once you purchase cryptocurrency that it will keep growing. It’s an investment and is subject to the risks of any investment vehicle. Limit your exposure to the risks by not putting more of your savings into cryptocurrency than you can afford to lose. Diversify your investments by including more stable options like stocks, bonds, or mutual funds and review your portfolio at least annually to make sure you have a good balance of safer and riskier investments.

Personal Loans

They can seem like a quick fix, especially in emergencies or when you’re planning a major purchase. But they often come with high-interest rates, particularly if your credit score is low. Juggling multiple loans can strain your finances and make it harder to get out of debt. If you’re tempted to borrow money for non-essential purchases, like a vacation, stop and think about the long-term cost. If the loan has a high-interest rate, calculate how much money repaying the loan will really cost future you. It could easily double the cost of your trip. Your best move is to only use personal loans as a last resort, and only for emergency expenses, like medical bills. If you’ve already taken out a loan, create a plan to pay it off quickly. Tackling the principal early can save you a lot of money on interest. If you have multiple personal loans, consider consolidating them into one loan with a lower interest rate to make repayments easier.

How do you avoid financial pitfalls? Please share in the comments.

Heavy Weight

Do you ever stare at your computer screen then check the time and three minutes have passed without typing a single word? No? Just me? Okay. When this happens, it usually means my cognitive load has exceeded capacity. Cognitive load is how much information your brain can handle at one time and plays a huge role in how you manage your attention. High cognitive load overwhelms your brain making it difficult to process data, make decisions, or stay focused.

Results of High Cognitive Load

Increased Errors: When your attention is overloaded, it becomes harder to process details and avoid mistakes. For example, you’re working on a report and your email notifications keep going off. While your brain is absorbing multiple pieces of information, errors are more likely to slip through the cracks.

Reduced Efficiency: The more your cognitive load increases, the longer it takes to complete tasks. For example, going down a research rabbit hole can make a project that should take 30 minutes drag into an hour because you’re mentally exhausted and struggling to focus.

Procrastination: If you’re already feeling overwhelmed by cognitive load, the idea of diving into something complex makes you want to avoid it. For example, it’s the end of the day so you reschedule the call to your high-maintenance client. Again.

Why Your Cognitive Load Gets Heavy

Managing Multiple Tools: Have you ever been working away at your laptop, stopped and thought, “Why am I exhausted? All I’ve been doing is sitting here for the past hour.” Constantly switching between documents and spreadsheets, email, and messaging apps leads to mental fatigue. Your brain has to adjust every time you shift between tools, increasing cognitive load.

Dealing with Information Overload: You receive more information than you can process. For example, email threads you are copied on, minutes from meetings you missed, and notes from client calls. Sorting through all this data without a clear system overwhelms your brain.

Juggling Competing Deadlines: You have to constantly reprioritize projects and everything feels urgent. This strains your decision-making abilities. As you mentally switch between tasks, it becomes increasingly difficult to focus on any one thing effectively.

How to Manage Your Cognitive Load

Prioritize Tasks: Not all tasks require the same amount of mental energy. Categorize your to-do list by urgency and importance. Work on high-priority tasks when your attention is highest. This spends your cognitive resources on what matters most. For example, instead of answering low-priority emails first thing in the morning, focus on writing that activity report.

Break Down Complex Projects: When facing a difficult task, break it into smaller, manageable steps. For example, if you’re preparing a presentation, start by gathering the data one day, writing the script the next, outlining the slides the next, and refining the visuals on the fourth day. Each step requires less cognitive effort than trying to complete the entire presentation in one sitting.

Limit Multitasking: Instead of constantly switching between different tasks, practice focused work. Set aside dedicated blocks of time to focus on one task at a time. For examples read this.

Streamline Information Intake: Tools like email filters can help you narrow your focus to relevant data. For example: Set your inbox to show only emails from key contacts during work hours.

Take Mental Breaks: Short, regular breaks allow your brain to reset and improve your concentration when you return to work. For example, set an alarm to work uninterrupted for 50 minutes followed by a 10-minute break. During breaks, step away from your workspace, stretch, hydrate, and let your mind recharge.

How do you manage your cognitive load? Please share in the comments.

Building Blocks

After last week’s post, I received questions about my references to deep work. So, this week, let’s dig a little more. I was influenced by Cal Newport’s book on the subject. It’s true that it’s difficult to do focused work In a high-pressure environment. It’s also true that mastering the skill can be a game-changer for your career because the ability to concentrate on solving hard problems for extended periods is becoming increasingly rare and highly valuable. Intense focus enables you to drive innovation, complete projects faster, and deliver higher-quality results. What makes this skill so difficult to master?

Common Barriers

Constant Connection: In many workplaces, there is an unspoken expectation that you will be immediately available and responsive. Sound notifications from incoming emails and pop ups from messaging apps continually distract you. The always-on culture of asynchronous work makes it challenging to carve out uninterrupted time to concentrate.

Pretend Productivity: Responding to emails and attending meetings gives you a sense of accomplishment but doesn’t significantly contribute to your organization’s growth. If you don’t think about how your actions impact your employer’s bottom line, it’s easy to fall into the habit of doing what’s most convenient. How can you set yourself up for genuine productivity?

Structure Your Environment

Time-Blocking: Claim a specific space for focused work. This could mean reserving a quiet room at the office or setting up a dedicated workspace at home. Divide your day into blocks dedicated to specific types of work; for example, focused work, meetings, email, and breaks. This structure helps you be proactive instead of reactive. Your focused work time blocks should be 60-90 minutes each. Switch all your devices to Do Not Disturb and batch similar tasks to maintain flow during these blocks. Protect these times. For example, do not schedule meetings during the focused work blocks. If your organization allows it, adjust your work hours to align with your peak productivity periods.

Interruptions: You will have to train people to respect your time blocks. Communicate your schedule to your teammates. Let them know when you are available for questions and when you need to concentrate. Setting clear boundaries, if you enforce them, can limit interruptions.

Check-ins: Schedule regular brief meetings with your team and manager to align priorities. This ensures the most critical tasks get done and that you are achieving your organization’s objectives. For example, try fifteen minute status update meetings two or three times a week that answer these three questions: What did I accomplish since the last status update? What will I accomplish before the next one? What could prevent me from accomplishing it?

Measure Your Output

Metrics: Promote the results you achieve rather than the hours you spend. Use OKRs to set SMART goals that align with your team’s objectives and the organization’s mission. This mindset shift places value on quality output over busy work.

High-Impact Activities: Identify which projects have the most significant impact on your goals and dedicate your focused work sessions to these. Avoid getting sidetracked by low-value activities that don’t help you reach your KPIs.

Technology: Productivity tools can track your progress. These platforms keep you organized, prioritize tasks, and ensure your work stays on course. They present a clearer picture of productivity than time-based metrics and are useful for activity reports.

Ask Your Employer

Fewer Meetings: Ask your manager if the team can designate one or two days each week as no-meeting days so you can all focus on deep work without interruptions.

Recharging Breaks: Take those scheduled breaks you time-blocked. They are important for maintaining your energy. They help you reset so you can see how much work you got done and what is left to do.

How do you protect your focused-work time? Please share in the comments.

Under Pressure

At a webinar I hosted recently, there was a bit of time left at the end of the session. I offered to end it and give everyone five minutes of their lives back. With the words barely out of my mouth, all 45 attendees started waving goodbye, thanking the presenter, or dropping off the call. Five minutes may not seem like anything to get excited about, but it can be the difference between a bathroom break before your next call and no bathroom break for three hours.

This made me think about today’s fast-paced work culture. You are working in a high-pressure environment that demands rapid decision-making, maximum productivity, and constant task switching. Every moment counts and the margin for error is minimal. How can you manage your time effectively under these conditions?

What Does High Pressure Look Like?

Tight Deadlines: Perpetual looming deadlines intensify the pressure to perform. When deliverables have short deadlines you have to work longer hours. This both increases your stress and makes it harder to pay attention to tasks that are important but not urgent.

Great Expectations: Your customers continually push you to exceed your regular performance, accuracy, and speed. You have to juggle multiple tasks simultaneously without compromising quality. A work culture that emphasizes competition over collaboration saps additional time as you battle for recognition, promotion, or job security.

Resource Constraints: If you work in an environment where changes in market conditions, technology, or organizational shifts mean you must frequently, unexpectedly, and suddenly adapt to changes, then these disruptions make time management challenging due to rapidly shifting priorities. A lack of adequate resources, like workforce, budget, or tools, forces you to work harder.

How Can You Manage Under Pressure?

Determine What Matters Most: Identify the most critical tasks that have the biggest impact on your goals. Put “time management matrices” in your favorite search engine for suggestions on what technique will work best for you. Focus on high-impact projects so your time is spent on activities that deliver the most significant results. Use time blocking when you need to do deep work. Break down large projects into smaller tasks with realistic deadlines. Once a month reflect on what is working and what isn’t. This helps you continuously improve your time management strategies and adapt to new challenges.

Leverage AI and Automation: Make technology your ally. AI-driven applications can sort emails, schedule meetings, and even draft responses. Automation tools can handle repetitive tasks, like data entry, invoicing, or reporting. Put “automation tools for streamlining repetitive tasks at work” in your favorite search engine for suggestions on what tool will work best for you. Automate routine processes to free up time for more critical tasks that require your unique expertise and decision-making skills.

Use Technology Mindfully: Technology aids productivity. It’s also a source of distraction. Limit notifications from social media, emails, or non-essential apps during deep work. Use noise-cancelling headphones, ambient sound apps, or website blockers to minimize distractions. Set specific times to check emails and messages rather than reacting to them as they come in.

Don’t Do It All Yourself: Effective delegation not only reduces your workload but also empowers your team, builds trust, and fosters collaboration. Delegation is not offloading tasks you don’t want to do. It is leveraging your teams’ skills to maximize your collective productivity. Assess your workload. What tasks are on your to-do list that someone else is better at? Do these teammates have the bandwidth to take on those tasks? Give clear instructions on expectations, deadlines, and the level of authority the person has. Provide the necessary resources and support to set them up for success.

Recharge and Reboot: A well-rested mind is better equipped to handle high-pressure situations. Short breaks help reduce stress and increase creativity. Put “time management techniques for work” in your favorite search engine for suggestions on what method will work best for you. Set boundaries around longer breaks. For example, take your lunch period away from your workspace and do not check your work email. Set boundaries around work after normal business hours too. Emergencies happen, but be discerning. Someone’s poor planning is not your emergency. You have to protect yourself from burnout.

How do you manage time efficiently at your job? Please share in the comments.

Slamming Your Spending

How you choose to spend money reflects your values, priorities, and circumstances. People around you—whether friends, family, coworkers, or complete strangers—judge your choices. Why do people care how you spend your money?

Why People Judge

Cultural Norms: Society has expectations about how money should be spent. You may be judged because your spending doesn’t align with what people consider appropriate. For example: You spend money on a weekend getaway and your parents think you should put that money in your IRA instead.

Personal Insecurities: If someone feels insecure about their own financial situation, they may project those feelings onto you. For example: You invest in a risky stock and your friend (who is not a financial advisor) tells you that was a mistake.

Envy: People may criticize your spending if they feel you’re enjoying luxuries they can’t afford. For example: You drive your new car to work and arrive at the same time as your coworker. As you are walking across the parking lot, they ask, “How much did that set you back?”

How to Respond

Priorities: Make financial choices that align with your values and goals, not other people’s opinions. For example, Let’s say you are saving money to buy a house and your friend is giving you a hard time because it’s preventing you from going on a cruise with them. You may respond, “Our priorities are different right now. Spending that money isn’t an option; raincheck?”

Boundaries: If you second-guess your decisions because of someone’s judgment, remind yourself why you made those choices. You know your situation better than anyone and you have the right to keep your spending habits private. If someone asks intrusive questions, shut them down with a simple, polite response. For example: “This is what currently works best for me.”

Reaction: Someone’s judgement reflects their perspective, not the reality of your situation. Reacting defensively can escalate your encounter instead of diffusing it so respond to criticism with calm confidence. Stay grounded in your values, set boundaries, and be assertive. For example: When your uncle criticizes your spending you can say, “I’ve made these choices because they align with my goals. Let’s talk about something else.”

Evaluation: Sometimes, people offer unsolicited feedback that may be valuable. If the judgment comes from someone you trust and respect, consider whether there’s any merit to their perspective. For example, if a financially savvy friend questions a decision you made, consider whether they have a good point. Ask yourself, “Is this spending preventing me from reaching my long-term goals?”

People: You can’t control people’s opinions about how you spend your money, but you can control your response. If certain individuals frequently judge you, try spending less time with them and more time with people who respect your choices or keep their opinions to themselves. When you encounter judgment, respond with empathy. People may criticize your spending because of their own financial stress. Acknowledge their feelings without compromising yours. For example: You could say, “Finances can be stressful. We all have different priorities, and that’s okay.”

Learning: When a financial decision was bad for you, it will hurt. The pain helps you learn. Ask yourself: What trigger can I set to not do that again? Clarify your values, identify the change you need to make, and make it. Spending isn’t really about the money. It’s about how you feel about the money. People want to tell you how they feel. They assume you want to make them feel good and aligning your expectations to theirs does that. But, trying to meet others’ expectations is not only a recipe for frustration, it can also lead to financial decisions that aren’t in your best interest. Prioritize your own goals and you’ll find more peace in your choices, regardless of what others think. For example: When a teammate comments on your spending habits, you could say, “I prefer to focus on what’s best for me rather than comparing myself with others.”

How do you handle being judged for your spending habits? Please share in the comments.

Focus on the Future

Visualization is vividly imagining yourself achieving specific goals. It is a mental rehearsal that prepares you for success by helping you see, feel, and experience your desired outcomes before they happen in reality. Visualization helped Michael Phelps win Olympic gold medals. Can it help you win professionally? Let’s dive into the concept.

Why Does Visualization Work?

You tell yourself stories all the time and perception is reality. Your brain processes your thoughts as truth and creates new neural pathways to help the rest of your body make what you think actually happen.

What Can Visualization Do For Your Career?

Clarity: Visualization doesn’t just stay in your mind. It influences your behavior. When you imagine yourself in a specific role or achieving a particular milestone, you start making decisions that align with your vision. You ignore distractions and prioritize the actions that grow your career. Your goals feel tangible and achievable.

Self-assurance: The more vividly you picture yourself nailing an interview, leading a project, or negotiating a higher salary, the more you believe in yourself. By the time you face a real-world challenge, you’ve already experienced it in your mind. You’ll approach opportunities with more confidence and projecting confidence is often the difference between success and setback.

Motivation: Regularly seeing yourself achieving your goals, reminds you of why you’re working so hard. This helps you be resilient when challenges crop up. When you visualize positive interactions with teammates, clients, or managers, you’re more likely to approach these interactions with a positive attitude, leading to stronger relationships.

How Do You Use Visualization?

Goals: Your visualization needs a clear target whether it’s landing a promotion, transitioning to a new field, or mastering a new skill. Write down your goal and be as detailed as possible. Visualize yourself achieving your goal, then break it down into actionable steps. This ensures you’re not just dreaming but also deliberately working towards making that dream a reality. Use visualization to give you ideas about what your process will look like, then reverse engineer a plan to achieve that outcome.

Imagine: By creating a multi-sensory experience, you make the visualization more real and impactful. Close your eyes and see yourself achieving your goal. What details do you notice? How does it feel? What sounds do you hear? For example, let’s say you are an individual contributor and want to move into management. What is different than what you do now? When you imagine a typical day, are you leading a weekly team catchup meeting? Are you in your calendar coordinating your team’s vacation schedules so everyone gets a break and the work still gets done? Are you on the phone with a client diffusing a conflict?

Practice: Make short, simple sessions a habit. You can visualize during your morning routine, on your lunch break, or before bed. The more you practice, the more you deeply ingrain these positive images in your subconscious. Start by visualizing a small win, like giving a great presentation. Notice the details: What time of day is it? What are you wearing? Who is with you? What emotions are you feeling? Get granular. The more details, the more your brain accepts this visualization as your reality.

Affirmations: If negative thoughts pop up, acknowledge them, then shift your focus back to positive images. For example, as you visualize landing a new job, repeat affirmations like “I am capable and ready for this role” or “I attract opportunities that align with my career goals.” This reinforces your belief in your ability to succeed.

Obstacles: Think about what could stop you from achieving your goal. For example, your technology isn’t working for a big presentation. Now come up with a plan to use the difficulty. Whether it’s a tough interview question or a project setback, mentally rehearsing how you’ll handle these situations can prepare you to face them confidently in real life. When you design a plan to deal with worst-case scenarios, you enhance your problem-solving skills. This helps you prevent the obstacles that are in your control and navigate the ones that aren’t.

Act: Let’s say you are visualizing a promotion, like moving from manager to director. Visualize what that looks like. Do you have more responsibility? Are you networking harder? Are you coaching new team members? Do those things. Make sure the decision maker who can give you that promotion knows you are doing them. Stepping up your game creates opportunities and attracts people who can help you achieve your visualizations.

Do you use visualization to further your career? Please share in the comments.

Serve or Protect?

Some clients are a dream to work with, and others, well, not so much. You know the type: They are rarely satisfied with your work. They question every item on every invoice, then don’t pay until their second notice. They negotiate every project as a zero sum game. If this relationship is not a one-shot deal, then you have to keep losing in order to please them and that is unsustainable. Should you let this high-maintenance customer go?

The Problem

First, query your team and define all the ways this client makes trouble for you. Do any of the following sound familiar?

Communication: You need their input to deliver their custom solution, but they avoid participating in the process. They refuse to tell you how they want to receive communication then complain they missed an update. They expect immediate responses from you, but they ignore your questions. Their vague, last-minute changes disrupt your service to your other clients.

Deliverables: They scope creep by regularly asking you to do more work than you agreed to and they don’t want to amend your contract. They complain you don’t do enough for them even when the deliverables in the contract are met.

Payment: They question every invoice. They ask you to lower your fees. They chronically pay late.They have threatened to take their business elsewhere more than once.

The Assessment

Now that you know what the problem you are solving for is, determine how bad the problem is. What is the impact on these areas?

Finances: Are they a significant source of your income, or are they actually costing you money with their late payments, demands for discounts, and scope creep?

Resources: How much of your team’s time, energy, and attention does this client take? How many other clients could you serve if you reclaim those resources?

Stress: How much frustration do they cause you? How much do your coworkers worry about this particular client? How far does your team’s productivity drop when working on this customer’s projects?

The Preparation

If the negative impact has outweighed the benefits for at least one year, then it’s time to consider ending the relationship. How should you proceed?

Look at Your Data: Do a cost analysis. Over the course of the contract how much of your organization’s resources were spent on this customer? For every team member, note all the time spent on internal and external communication as well as the actual work on the project. What is the percentage of everyone’s total hours worked? Show these numbers broken down by team member in a report. This unsustainable loss is the main reason you can site for ending the relationship.

Review Your Contract: Understand the terms of your agreement, especially regarding termination. This will help you navigate the process legally and ethically.

Visualize Your Encounter: See yourself explaining to your client why you’re ending the relationship. You are confident. You are not angry. You are calmly and tactfully getting right to the point. You are stating how it’s in the best interest of both parties to go your separate ways. Now rehearse out loud what you’re going to say.

The Conversation

All the analysis and preparation has lead to this. What is the best way to break the news?

Schedule a Meeting: Arrange a time to speak with the client. Face-to-face is ideal, but a video chat can also work. You want to see as many of their nonverbals as possible.

Be Direct and Polite: Start by acknowledging the positive aspects of the relationship, then explain why it’s no longer working. For example, “I’ve enjoyed working with you over the past year, but I feel that our working styles and expectations are no longer aligned.”

Focus on the Business: Emphasize that the decision is based on what’s best for your business. Pull out that cost analysis you worked so hard on.

Offer Alternatives: Suggest other professionals who might be a better fit for the client’s needs. Before offering this, ask those other professionals if they are willing to meet with this client.

Keep it Professional: Stay calm and composed, even if the client reacts negatively. Avoid personal attacks and blame. Take a deep breath, settle your emotions, and focus on the process. Your goal is to end the relationship on as positive a note as far as it is up to you.

The Aftermath

The hardest part is over. What loose ends still need tied?

Wrap It Up: Send your now former client an email summarizing the conversation and confirming the termination of the relationship. Request immediate payment of their final invoice. If there are any remaining tasks, clarify who will handle them. If they seemed interested in your suggestions of other companies who may be a better fit for them, include their contact information.

Move Forward: Use this experience for process improvement. Now that you know where your team’s boundaries are, communicate them to potential clients from the beginning of the relationship. This will help you vet them. For example, if they complain to you about the company they work with, then expect them to complain about you when inevitable conflicts arise. When it’s time to draw up a contract, include details on expectations for communication, deliverables, deadlines, and firm payment terms.

Have you ever had to fire a client? Please share your experience in the comments.