Time – mardihumphreys.com

Your Invisible Operating System

Leadership is not a job level. It’s a set of decisions you make. You lead when you run a meeting that ends on time. You lead when you calm a tense thread before it becomes a full-blown Slack bonfire. You lead when you quietly notice the new person is getting steamrolled and you make space for them to speak.

It’s vital to figure out your leadership style because it’s the invisible operating system behind the thousands of micro-decisions you make every week like, how you give feedback. How you handle conflict. How you prioritize. How you respond when you are tired and a project goes sideways.

Knowing your leadership style helps you stop defaulting to whatever possible solution is loudest in the moment and start choosing what is most effective. And if you are thinking, I will figure it out once I have more authority, please know this: Waiting is the fastest way to let stress pick your style for you.

Leadership Style is a Toolkit

Some people believe leadership style is a fixed identity. For example: a visionary leader, a servant leader, or a data-driven leader. But real leadership is situational. It is a premium toolkit. Sometimes your team needs clarity. Sometimes they need care. Sometimes they need a nudge. Sometimes they need you to get out of the way and let them cook.

That’s why it’s normal for leadership to show up as a mix. You may take an assessment and discover you are not one style. Instead, you’re a full-blown committee. Maybe democratic, altruistic, coaching, with a little sprinkle of please do not schedule another meeting thrown in. You don’t have to force that committee into one chair. You can learn to decide which voice to put in charge depending on what the moment needs. You can design how you show up so you can take bold action without breaking trust.

Why It Matters

When you manage people, you influence outcomes. When you lead without a title, you influence the environment. The environment is everything. Here are a few very normal work scenarios where your style quietly decides the outcome:

Your direct report is underperforming and avoiding hard tasks. Do you go coaching, clear expectations, or accountability first?
Two teammates are in conflict, both convinced they are the reasonable one. Do you go mediator, decision maker, or listener first?
Your team is burned out and deadlines keep coming. Do you go boundary setter, process improver, or morale builder first?
A project is slipping because nobody owns the next step. Do you go organizer, delegator, or driver first?

If you don’t know your default style, you will react. And reaction is usually a mix of stress, habit, and whatever leadership style you were subjected to growing up. Around here we call that improvisation.

Have you taken a leadership style assessment you found accurate? Please share which one you used in the comments.

For the extended article, including The Leadership User Manual You Should Write Before You Need It, sent right to your inbox, subscribe to my Substack.

Fly Like a Pilot

Every Monday you probably write a to-do list like you’re building a small, ambitious civilization. Thirty-seven items. Color-coded, maybe. A few quick wins sprinkled in so you feel like you’re adulting. Then the week happens. Three hours of meetings a day. Slack pinging like popcorn on a stove. A teammate drops an ask that is urgent and vague. A client changes their mind. Your boss needs help. By Wednesday, your list hasn’t been touched. By Thursday night you’re doing the actual work after dinner because daytime got eaten alive. By Sunday, there’s that familiar anxious feeling: I was busy the whole time but I didn’t do what mattered. That’s not a motivation problem. That’s a piloting problem. A pilot decides where the plane is going. They adjust for weather. They make trade-offs when fuel is limited. They don’t try to fly to twelve destinations at once because the map has a lot of options. A to-do list is not a pilot. It’s a storage unit. Your week needs pilot energy.

Are You Really Fine?

Unclear priorities create reactive days and anxious nights. When you don’t choose what matters most, your environment chooses for you. Teams Chat chooses. Meetings choose. Other people’s urgency chooses. And if you’re on an understaffed team you’ll end up spending your best hours responding, coordinating, and firefighting, then borrowing time from your evening to do your actual work. That’s how you become the person who’s both always working and always behind. Not because you’re failing. Because your week has no pilot.

The Fix

Pick One Outcome for the week. This is the thing that, if it’s true by Friday, you can honestly say: This week counted. Not I survived. Not I answered things. Counted. Your One Outcome can be one of these:

A deliverable: ship X, send the deck, publish the doc, launch the feature.
A decision: choose Y, approve the plan, commit to the approach.
A metric: reduce backlog by Z%, cut response time, close five open loops.
A relationship win: align stakeholders, repair a cross-team miscommunication, get clarity with your manager.

You’re not choosing the only thing you’ll do. You’re choosing the thing the week will serve. Everything else either supports it or waits. That’s a pilot move.

How to Choose Your One Outcome in 10 minutes

Open your calendar and look at the reality, not how you wish it looked. Now ask three questions:

What would make Friday feel lighter? What’s the one thing hanging over you that’s making the voices very loud in your head?
What would create momentum next week? The best One Outcome unlocks future progress. It reduces dependence, ambiguity, or rework.
What’s the smallest version of success? Not perfectly done but meaningfully done. Perfectionism is how a One Outcome becomes a zero outcome.

Write your One Outcome as a sentence you could measure:

By Friday 3pm, the Q2 plan is approved by Finance and Marketing.
By Friday, the client decision is made: Option A or B.
By Friday, the onboarding doc exists and is shared with the team.

How do you manage your never-ending to-do list? Please share in the comments.

For the extended article including examples of how to fly your week like a pilot (not a passenger) sent right to your inbox, subscribe to my Substack here.

Pattern Recognition

Congratulations! You have reached the last quarterly reflection of 2025! If you are just joining us, here are the previous three: Q1, Q2, Q3.

If you’re feeling a mix of tired, proud, and slightly disoriented, you’re in the right place. By the end of the year, reflection feels like homework. But if you don’t pause long enough to name what actually happened at work, how you spent your time, what drained you, and what stretched you, then you risk carrying the same patterns into the new year. You don’t have to relive every meeting or measure yourself against impossible standards. Just take an honest inventory of how you worked in 2025 so you can make clearer, kinder, smarter decisions in 2026. Pick up a notebook or open a blank doc. Set aside 20–30 minutes. Write without polishing. Wait for clarity to come.

Reflection prompt: Which work habits, projects, or skills paid off more than you expected and how did they change your day-to-day work?

Think about moments when things started to feel easier. Maybe you finally figured out how to manage your inbox, delegate more effectively, or run meetings with less friction. Maybe learning a new AI tool shaved hours off routine tasks. This prompt helps you identify what’s worth protecting and building on.

Reflection prompt: When your workload felt heaviest, what did you sacrifice first and was that tradeoff worth it?

Maybe it was deep focus time, professional development, or your energy at the end of the day. Maybe you said yes to urgent work that crowded out important work. Do not feel guilty. Instead, notice patterns so you can make more intentional decisions next year. Burnout often isn’t about working too hard. It’s about working hard without agency.

Reflection prompt: When did you take on responsibility, visibility, or complexity that wasn’t strictly required and what did that reveal about your readiness for more?

This could include leading a project, managing uncertainty during a job change, or becoming the unofficial expert on a new system. These signal where your career leverage actually is not where you think it should be.

Reflection prompt: Which work commitments, habits, or expectations felt increasingly misaligned and why did you keep carrying them?

This might be a meeting that adds no value, a role you’ve outgrown, or a standard you hold yourself to that no longer fits your season of life. Naming these is the first step toward change. You can set better boundaries when you know what’s draining you.

Reflection prompt: When stakes were high or time was tight, what guided your decisions more: clarity, urgency, fear, or habit?

This is especially relevant if you navigated change like new procedures, shifting expectations, or uncertainty about what skills would matter next. Understanding how you choose helps you build a decision-making framework that works for you in 2026 instead of against you.

Reflection prompt: If 2026 goes well, how do you want your work to feel on an average Tuesday and what needs to change to support that?

This grounds your planning in reality. Average days matter more than standout moments. This prompt bridges reflection and intention without turning into a rigid plan you’ll abandon by February.

What prompts would you add to this list? Please share in the comments.

For vs On

Are you living for a purpose… or living on purpose?

Those two little prepositions make a big difference.

Living for a purpose means your destiny is somewhere out there in the ether. It’s the North Star you’re reaching for but can’t quite grasp.

Living on purpose means you choose intentions, behaviors, and next steps based on what matters today; not on job titles, self-help books, or performance reviews.

If you’ve ever felt behind, confused, or quietly panicked about not knowing what your one true calling is, you’re not alone. In fact, researchers have given this feeling a name: Purpose Anxiety. It’s a mix of fear and pressure that kicks in when you’re trying to find or live up to some “Purpose.”

Living For a Purpose Backfires

You might believe there’s a special gift only you have, even if you don’t know what it is yet, and your job is to keep searching until you find it. And once you do you’re supposed to nurture it, master it, monetize it, brand it, and become best in class. No pressure or anything. Here’s the problem: when you’re living for a purpose, everything feels like a test. At work it can look like:

Staying in a role too long because maybe this is supposed to be your thing. Even when you’re bored, unchallenged, or dragging yourself to Monday morning meetings like you’re the main character in a rom-com.
Feeling behind because everyone else seems more purposeful than you. Someone else built a business. Someone else got promoted. Someone else has a five-year plan. And there you are refreshing your inbox.
Feeling guilty when you’re not lit up by your job. You’re supposed to be passionate! Inspired! Thrilled! But some days you’re just trying to get through your to-do list without rage-eating a king-size Reese’s Cup at your desk.

Living On Purpose Is Sustainable

Living on purpose is less about finding a calling and more about choosing how you show up. Instead of hunting for your one perfect career identity, you start building meaning through the work you actually do. Living on purpose feels lighter, more grounded, and ironically, makes you better at your job. You’re evaluating opportunities based on alignment, growth, and real conditions not vibes and destiny.

What Living On Purpose Looks Like

Small choices made consistently. You don’t need a grand vision to move forward. You need the next right step. Reply to the email. Schedule the informational interview. Update your resume. Ask the question. Choose clarity over perfection.
Following your curiosity instead of chasing a calling. Curiosity leads to skills. Skills lead to options. Options build confidence. You don’t need to see the whole staircase to take the next step.
Paying attention to what energizes you. Not what impresses your friends. Not what society tells you should matter. What actually feels meaningful in your day.
Letting go of the idea that your job must fulfill your entire identity. Your career can be meaningful without being your entire personal brand.

Start Here

Name your values for this season (not forever). Choose three. Use them when making decisions. Don’t know what your values are? Read this.
Pick one small action that aligns with those values and do it this week. Purpose grows through action.
Set a “good enough” bar for your career decisions. Not perfect. Not destiny-sized. Just good enough for now.
Stop asking “Is this my purpose?” and start asking “Does this matter to me today?”
Treat your career like a series of experiments, not a prophecy. Try things. Learn things. Drop things.

How do you live on purpose? Please share in the comments.

Unentitled

Job titles can open or close doors, but you don’t need formal authority to influence outcomes. You need awareness, initiative, and a willingness to act when others hesitate. Let’s talk about what that looks like at your job.

Leadership Labs

Every project, committee, or collaboration is an opportunity to lead. You don’t have to wait for permission to take ownership. Cross-functional teams are great opportunities to practice leadership skills because they mix perspectives and reward those who bring clarity instead of control. Those micro-moments are where real leadership lives. No title required just the courage to shape how the work happens. For example:

When your group gets stuck in endless debate, you propose a timeline to narrow decisions and move forward.
When a quiet teammate has a good idea that’s getting lost, you call it out and create space for them to share it.
When a colleague lightens the mood during crunch time, you acknowledge that humor and positivity and thank them for keeping the team sane.

Lead from Any Role

Leadership is about mobilizing, connecting dots, removing friction, and helping others succeed. These are actions that make teams function better. The more consistently you do these things, the more people look to you for direction even if your nameplate hasn’t changed. Here are some suggestions:

Manage time, not people: When meetings drift, step in gently: “Let’s pick one option to test this week and see what happens.” That’s not bossy, that’s efficient. Teams remember who helps them get unstuck.
Make space for others: When one voice dominates, balance it out: “I’d like to hear from Jack and Jill before we decide.” Inclusive leaders listen before they lead. You’ll earn trust by showing you care about the group’s success, not your own image.
Clarify next steps: Ambiguity kills progress. Offer structure: “Here’s what I heard. Did I miss anything?” Clear communication turns chaos into action.
Own follow-through: Volunteering to take the first draft, summarize the notes, or check a detail isn’t glamorous but it’s what separates reliable contributors from passive ones. Accountability is influence in disguise.

Quiet Power

Leadership looks different today than it did even five years ago. Many workplaces are flatter, and hybrid situations have blurred traditional organizational hierarchies. That means influence often matters more than authority. For example:

Visibility does not equal impact. Just because someone talks the most on video calls doesn’t mean they’re leading. The person who determines action items or builds alignment behind the scenes is often the real driver.
Psychological safety is greater than authority. The most productive teams succeed because people feel safe speaking up. That doesn’t happen because of titles. It happens because of trust.
Connection over control. Leaders understand the value of relationships. They notice when teammates seem disengaged, they ask why, and they pull people back in.

Start Now

The best part of leading without a title is that you can start anytime. You don’t need a reorganization or a raise to step up. You just need to see a problem and decide you’re part of the solution. When you are not in the room, you want coworkers to describe you as dependable, thoughtful, and steady under pressure. Start by noticing where momentum is missing. Ask what your group needs most right now: structure, encouragement, clarity, or connection. Then step up and offer it. That’s what leaders do whether or not it’s in their title.

What is one thing you can do today to lead from where you are? Please share in the comments.

Three Down

“We don’t learn from experience; we learn from reflecting on the experience.” – John Dewey

Continuing the journey we started with Quarterly Contemplation and Half Way There, it’s time to pause and reflect on Q3.

Think About Your Thinking

You’re wrapping up a busy quarter at work. The projects, deadlines, and constant task juggling are all blurring together so it’s tempting to skip reflection. Think about how you handle your workweek. If a meeting runs over, what’s the first thing you cut? Chances are, it’s the five minutes you set aside to review your progress or reset your priorities. But if you do, then you’ll miss out on one of the most powerful and affordable tools available for professional growth. The same happens at the end of a quarter. Please pause and process what happened so you don’t walk into Q4 on autopilot carrying forward habits that do not serve you.

We treat reflection as optional, but it’s actually central to learning. It’s more than replaying events in your head. It requires metacognition: thinking about your thinking. You consider what worked, what didn’t, and why. You connect past choices to future goals. And when you articulate that process (even just jotting notes in a document), you’re strengthening a skill set that compounds over time.

Your output isn’t just tasks. It’s also ideas, decisions, and problem-solving. Here are two common areas where reflection can make a difference:

Time Management: Maybe you intended to block out focus hours, but constant Slack pings derailed you. Reflection helps you spot patterns like this so you can try a new boundary next quarter.
Career Goals:. You might be good at executing tasks but realize you’ve spent little time building skills for the role you actually want. Reflection surfaces those blind spots before another quarter slips by.

These aren’t abstract benefits. They show up in real ways: fewer late nights at the laptop, better alignment with your manager’s expectations, and more energy for projects that matter to you. Give yourself targeted questions. Think of them as prompts that guide your thinking and keep you honest. Over time, you’ll get faster at noticing themes in your work and more confident in making adjustments.

Questions to Ask Yourself

What were the major objectives I set at the start of the quarter, and did I meet them?

What work am I most proud of, and why?

What were the biggest challenges I faced, and how did I respond?

What is one habit I should start, stop, or continue doing to improve my workflow?

How did I contribute to the positive culture of my team?

What is my top goal for professional development before the end of the year?

Are my current projects and responsibilities still aligned with my long-term career aspirations?

What questions would you add to this list? Please share in the comments.

Bridge the Gap

Your brand is the shorthand people use to describe you when you’re not in the room. It’s your reputation. If you’re perceived in a way you don’t want to be perceived, that’s a problem. What do you want to be known for at work? How do you make sure you’re actually known for that?

A performance review is a bad time to discover the image you’re transmitting is not the image your manager is receiving. For example: You want to be known as the person who can solve tough problems. But if people keep saying, “Jordan’s great! They answer emails instantly, no matter when you send them,” then your brand risks being ‘always available’ instead of ‘strategic thinker’. Speed is fine, but if the story others tell about you is more around responsiveness than problem-solving, the perception gap just swallowed your brand whole.

The Gap Between Self-Image and Brand

You know how you see yourself, but that doesn’t mean your coworkers or managers see you that way. You might think you’re organized because you keep an immaculate to-do list, but if you miss deadlines, the team will call you scattered. You might think you’re collaborative because you let everyone weigh in during meetings, but your team may quietly wish you’d just make a decision already. This is where the brand gap shows up. It lies in the little misalignments between your intent and others’ experience of you. Do any of these common branding misfires sound familiar?

Meetings: You think you’re being thorough by asking detailed questions. Others think you’re derailing the agenda.
Email habits: You believe instant replies show reliability. Others assume you have too much time on your hands or aren’t focused on bigger priorities.
Decision-making: You frame your approach as careful and thoughtful. Others see it as indecisive.

Your Ego’s Report Card

How do you bridge the perception gap? You ask people what they think. A 360-degree assessment, formal or informal, is one of the best tools you have. You gather feedback not just from your boss, but from peers, direct reports, even cross-functional colleagues. The feedback may sting, but think of it as your ego getting a performance review. Feedback is data and data is what you need to make decisions. It will tell you what to work on. Feedback usually comes with positives too. For example, maybe your manager says your presentations are a little too detailed, but your follow-through is unmatched. You can work with that. Soothing the sting with positive feedback helps you double down on strengths that people already notice.

Manage Your Brand

Clarify: Decide what you want to be known for (e.g., problem-solver, reliable leader, creative thinker, efficiency expert). If you don’t define it, others will define it for you.
Ask: Don’t wait for the annual review. A quick “Hey, when I run meetings, do I come across as clear and confident?” can reveal a lot.
Adjust: People can’t read your intentions. They can only see your actions. Do you want to be seen as decisive? Start summarizing meetings with, “Here’s the call I’m making.”
Repeat: Consistency is key. If you want to be the strategic thinker, don’t undercut yourself by showing up mainly as the fast replier.

How do you bridge the perception gap? Please share in the comments.

Patience Is Powerful

Hamilton: An American Musical debuted on Broadway on August 6, 2015. Have you noticed that many of its 46 songs relate to the workforce? For example, “Right Hand Man” is about then-General George Washington talking Alexander Hamilton into taking a promotion as his aide-de-camp.

There is a line from the song “Wait for It” I return to repeatedly. It’s sung by Aaron Burr’s character. He compares his misfortunes to Hamilton’s successes. He’s hyping himself up after being judged by his coworkers. He sings about how unfair life is and what he intends to do to succeed:

I am the one thing in life I can control

I am inimitable

I am an original

I’m not falling behind or running late

I’m not standing still

I am lying in wait

The common assumption is: Patience means doing nothing. If you’re not chasing, pitching, or climbing, you’re behind. It’s easy to mistake patience for indecision or unwillingness to make a move. But read it again: I’m not standing still. I am lying in wait. That’s not passivity. That’s strategic. In your work life it’s tempting to confuse waiting with wasting time. But that’s not how real life—or real work—functions. And it’s definitely not how growth works. Patience isn’t about pausing. It’s about preparing.

When It Feels Like Losing

Coworkers are getting promoted. Starting companies. Speaking at conferences. Meanwhile, you’re still in back-to-back meetings trying to keep from drowning in your inbox. Do you doom-scroll LinkedIn and think, “She’s already a director?” or “He’s publishing another book?” In that headspace, patience can feel like losing. The pace of work makes it feel like if you don’t sprint, then you get trampled. The pressure can drive you to make poor decisions like jumping at a job that isn’t the right fit or saying yes to a project just to stay visible. But activity isn’t the same as progress and not every season of your life is meant to be fast. Some seasons are for planting. Quietly. Intentionally. It’s not glamorous and it usually doesn’t come with applause. But it’s how success takes root. Patience is knowing when to be still. It’s choosing to wait, not because you’re indecisive, but because you’re discerning.

Patience at Work

Prepare Quietly: Instead of pushing for your next move, what can you get better at while you wait? Strengthen a skill. Build relationships. Improve your processes. Get so good they can’t ignore you. Document your wins. These investments compound even if no one sees them right away.

Support Visibly: Stay engaged, even if you’re not center stage. You don’t have to lead a project to make a difference in it. Offer help. Ask questions. Be present in the work that’s happening around you. Collaboration is its own currency. When the seat at the table opens, you’ll already be in the room.

Reset Your Narrative: Let go of timelines you didn’t choose. You’re not stuck. You’re building momentum. Shift the story you’re telling yourself from “Why not me?” to “Not yet.”

Notice Envy, Don’t Let it Lead: It’s okay to feel a twinge when someone else gets what you wanted. But don’t let that feeling force you into something that’s not ready. Instead of seeing it as a setback, use envy as a push forward. Double down on networking and upskilling.

Watch for Your Window: Look for signs, not spotlights. The right moment rarely announces itself, but you’ll recognize it more easily if you’ve been quietly preparing for it all along. Patience isn’t a forever plan. It’s a strategic posture. When the opportunity does open up, don’t hesitate. Step into it.

What do you do to make sure patience is not passive? Please share your tips in the comments.

Beyond the Standard

We’ve all been there. The project that was supposed to be simple turns into something bigger, harder, and more time consuming than you expected. You don’t just get things done. You do them to a higher standard. That extra effort can pay off, but it almost always takes more time and energy than you planned.

It’s the Law

One reason is Parkinson’s Law: “Work expands to fill the time available for its completion.” You give yourself a week to write a presentation, and somehow it takes a week, even if you could have done it in two days. Or you procrastinate until the last day, then scramble to finish. That’s where it gets tricky. How can you tell the difference between Parkinson’s Law slowing you down versus the simple reality that excellence takes longer? Continuing our example of preparing a pitch deck for a big client, if you only give yourself one afternoon, you’ll rush through it and probably copy a standard template. But if you want excellence, customizing the deck, tailoring the message, and practicing the delivery, it may take three full days. You may think you’re being slow, but you’re actually doing deep work. On the other hand, if you keep tweaking fonts and adding new slides all week long because you’re avoiding sending it, that’s Parkinson’s Law at work.

Rule of Thumb

Excellence feels hard, but it moves forward. Parkinson’s Law feels busy, but stuck. If you’re learning, improving, clarifying, or producing higher-quality work, then you’re likely on the excellence path. If you’re constantly polishing, stalling, or starting over without real progress, then you may be letting Parkinson’s Law slow you down.

Keep Moving Forward

Set shorter deadlines: Give yourself less time than you think you need. Not to rush, but to push for focus. If it really does need more time, you’ll find out quickly and can plan for it.

Break work into chunks – Instead of: finish the project, aim to: finish the outline by Tuesday, gather feedback by Friday, etc. This stops you from drifting.

Build in review time – If you plan a day or two to step back and review your work before final delivery, you get the benefits of excellence and the discipline of a deadline.

Watch for procrastination triggers – Be honest. Are you avoiding getting started because you’re afraid it won’t be perfect? Progress matters more than perfection. Starting gives you momentum.

Check in with others – Talk to colleagues or mentors about how long similar work usually takes. It’s a reality check to see if you’re being thorough or just spinning your wheels.

Embrace learning curves – Excellence means growing skills. It takes longer to do something well the first time. If you’re pushing beyond what you know, that’s a good thing. The next time you feel discouraged that excellence is taking so long, ask yourself: Am I making progress? Am I learning or improving? If yes, stay the course. If not, shorten the deadline, break the task down, and commit to shipping what’s good enough. Then improve on it next time.

How do you tell the difference between striving for excellence and spinning your wheels? Please share in the comments.

What Matters?

It’s time to rethink your expectations around job benefits. Health insurance, 401(k)s, and Paid Time Off (PTO) used to be standard. Now, they’re negotiable. Rising costs, shifting priorities, and new work models are changing what companies can offer. What employee benefits can you ask for? Can you design a plan both you and your employer are happy with?

Why Employers Offer Fewer Benefits

Healthcare: Premiums continue to rise and companies are struggling to keep up. Offering comprehensive plans can cost thousands of dollars per employee, per year. Government rules around healthcare, insurance, and employment affect what companies are required to offer.

Profit: Small and midsize businesses may want to provide great benefits but they can’t afford to. Profit margins are tight. Even big companies are watching the bottom line. Short-term and freelance contractors and at-will hiring mean different obligations for employers.

Flexibility: Some employers are moving away from standard plans to offer personalized options: more cash, stipends, or the ability to customize your benefits. A one-size-fits-all approach doesn’t work. Companies are starting to tailor benefits to age, life stage, or role.

How to Rethink Your Expectations

You don’t have to settle for less. But you do need to adjust your expectations based on where you are in life and what matters to you right now.

Evaluate: Ask yourself: Do my benefits expectations match my role, experience, and life stage? For example, moving into leadership might mean shifting from PTO priorities to executive coaching or equity. A new parent might prioritize healthcare over travel perks.

Refocus: Your needs change. What mattered to you when you were 25 years old probably doesn’t matter at 50. Don’t cling to outdated goals. Shift your focus based on what’s useful to you today.

Traditional Benefits Missing? Ask for These

Education or Upskilling: Ask if they’ll fund certifications, courses, or conference attendance. It helps you grow, and you will use what you learn to help them.

PTO for Mental Health Days: Even if PTO is limited, see if you can take a few days each year to unplug without using vacation time.

Flexible Work Arrangements: If they want you on-site five days a week but don’t offer benefits, ask for a hybrid schedule. Saving time and money on commuting has real value.

Technology or Home Office Stipend: Working remotely? Ask for support with home internet, desk setups, or hardware.

Know What to Ask

Use the conversation to shape the benefits that matter to you. Negotiate for what you need. Be proactive, specific, realistic, and adaptable. Your goal is to satisfy both you and your employer. You won’t know what’s possible unless you ask. Here are some questions you can use:

“Is the benefits package flexible?”
“What kind of mental health support is included?”
“Do you offer nontraditional perks like student loan help?”
“What benefits are included beyond salary?”
“What professional development resources are available?”
“Can we add a few mental health days or a stipend for leadership training?”
“Can you increase base pay or offer a monthly health stipend to offset insurance costs?”
“Are flexible hours or hybrid options negotiable?”
“Can we revisit the package in six months based on performance?”

What work benefits are most important to you? Please share in the comments.