Goals – Page 2 – mardihumphreys.com

What Comes Next?

We talk about what we’ll do after COVID-19. What changes to work life will we keep? How has our perspective changed? How much weight will we have to lose? What will we do next? Like Inigo Montoya after he finally got revenge on Count Rugen, next can leave us feeling lost, bereft, or untethered. Fortunately, Westley had a goal to offer him, but since the position of The Dread Pirate Roberts is currently unavailable, what should we do after we’ve reached a goal?

Celebrate

We can take a break and pat ourselves on the back, but let’s put a time limit on the celebration; somewhere between the length of a nice dinner and a week’s vacation. We should thank everyone who contributed to reaching the goal; especially those whose help we’ll need to reach future ones. We could reward ourselves with a gift card to a local business (e.g., coffee shop, independent bookstore, salon). That would both support a small business struggling to survive COVID-19 and give us something to look forward to.

Reflect

We should push pause and ponder. What did we do right? What could we improve? How do we maintain this new level? Who helped us get here? When in the process did we mess up and why? Where can we put triggers in that process to prevent mistakes from happening again? What is our next logical goal? The answers to these questions give us data to analyze. We can use this for refining our process and determining metrics.

Another one

Do we go after a bigger client? Start grad school? Lose another 10 lbs? If we have simultaneous goals set in different areas of our lives, when we achieve one, we have another one to work on. This helps us maintain dopamine levels to stay motivated and avoid the arrival fallacy (A theory introduced by Tal Ben-Shahar). Another option is to come up with a two (or five or ten) year plan so once we reach our current goal, we can immediately start on the next one even if it’s a preliminary activity (i.e., research, gather materials, etc). If looking that far down the road doesn’t make sense, we could set both short term goals (e.g., be the team leader on the next project) and long term goals (e.g., get promoted next year). When we achieve the short term goal, we could focus our energy on the long term goal while setting another short term one.

Help others

Is it time to be a mentor? Teaching someone else a skill we just learned reinforces it for us. We could also share what we learned by writing a white paper or case study and posting it on our companies’ websites.

Remember Why

We can achieve goal after goal, but still feel unfulfilled. If this happens, stop and ask, “What do I want to do with my life?” Do we want to end domestic violence? Affect climate change? Make sure every dog has a home? When we determine what we want our world to look like, we can align our goals with our life’s purpose and make that world a reality.

What comes next for you? Please share in the comments section.

Does Anybody Really Know What Time It Is?

Sheltering at home has made me lose all track of time. COVID-19 didn’t take my job, so working from home means I’m always at work. I stress over emails. Do I ignore them outside regular office hours? Do I answer them because I’m bored? If I reply, does that set a precedent to answer email 24/7 when this is over? Where are my boundaries? I’m struggling with distraction, overthinking, and TMI. Do you feel the same? Here are some things we can do to exercise a bit of control over our time.

The Obvious

We know what we should do, let’s just do it. Make a new routine. Get dressed. (Slippers? Yes. Day time pajamas? No.) Eat healthy. Move our bodies. Start work at the same time every day. Connect with our teams. (And not just about work; how are they coping emotionally?) Take breaks (suggestions: listen to a podcast, walk the dog, study with the kids). Quit at the same time every day. Don’t work seven days a week.

Encourage

Until in-person networking events resume, we can spend more time on LinkedIn. Let’s wish someone a happy birthday, like an article a connection posted, thank those in healthcare, grocery, and other essential critical infrastructure for their hard work. I’m concentrating on both cheer leading for my connections and amplifying those looking for work.

Practice the Tech

We have to learn how to teleconference, decipher how our kids’ elearning platform works, figure out how much bandwidth we need, and which entertainment streaming services to use. It’s okay to take our time experimenting with features and figuring out what works best. Let’s not beat ourselves up for not being immediate experts on the new technologies all coming at us at once.

Communicate

Everyone who lives in our residences are home ALL. THE. TIME. And everyone is confused. Let’s ask for help. Can we stagger online meetings? Can we claim our own private work/school space? Can we respect a do-not-disturb note on the door when we need to work uninterrupted? Can we tag team supervising online learning? When our spouse has a virtual meeting, can we take the kids outside for recess?

Be Kind

There’s plenty of opportunity right now. We can check on our parents. Ask our neighbor if she needs something from the store before we head out. Video chat with our bestie. Stick a piece of paper on the refrigerator and ask everyone in our home to write one thing they’re grateful for on it everyday. Investigate ways our company can volunteer (e.g., help the local food bank or give blood). Hug the people we live with and stay six feet away from everyone else.

With our normal structure blown up, I think we feel pressured to be productive so we can prove our worth. But I think the source of that pressure may be ourselves. Our employers ask us to use our time wisely and that’s a big enough goal during this pandemic.

What are you doing to take control of your time during isolation? Please share in the comments section.

The Uns

James C. Collins coined the phrase, “Good is the enemy of great.” He suggests we have to remove some good things from our lives so we can focus attention on achieving bigger goals. Since we are stuck sheltering in our homes a little longer, (Thank you, COVID-19.) maybe now is an appropriate time for evaluation. Are we satisfied with the state of our lives? Do we need to take a hard look at our priorities? Should we trim some good items so we can excel? Are we ready to make some uncomfortable but necessary choices? If so, how?

Uninvite

We are highly influenced by the people who surround us. They can determine the quality and direction of our lives; much like the wind influences a sailboat. People treat us the way we let them, so let’s make respect one of our boundaries. Let’s be intentional about networking with positive people who have standards we admire. Let’s treat coworkers the way we want to be treated and associate with those who reciprocate. This can be hard. We don’t always have the luxury of choosing whom we work with and our emotions can get in the way, but let’s not reward bad behavior (e.g., our opinions and/or feelings are ignored). If a team mate consistently gossips in the break room, shoves her busy work on us, or complains about how she never gets high-profile assignments, it’s time to uninvite her from our projects.

Untie

Time flies when we’re making a living. In our efforts to keep moving forward, we neglect to stop and assess where we are, what has changed, and how outdated thinking may be holding us back. Do we believe we can’t do something just because we’ve never tried it? Thanks to technology, what was unthinkable 10 years ago is now normal. (Think Lyft, Instagram, Amazon Echo) Are we making choices based on what our circumstances were then? We can’t use the same decision making criteria on our first full-time job that we used in college. We can’t use the same criteria as a spouse that we used when we were single. We can’t use the same criteria as a parent that we used before children, but we can untie ourselves from the past by using a filter like: Is it worth my T.E.A.M.?

Unexpected

We can’t predict there is anything better than what we have now and we don’t realize we’re settling for good. Going for more requires change and we don’t like what we can’t expect. Maybe we start by asking ourselves what we do better than anyone else. If we don’t know, we can ask a friend or trusted coworker. We’re usually counseled to build up our weaknesses in order to succeed, but I think we should spend more time cultivating our strengths. Getting less weak at something takes more time, energy, and attention (for marginal improvement) than getting better at something we’re already good at. Let’s stop binging Tiger King and read a leadership book, listen to an industry podcast, or take an online class.

What are some good things you need to eliminate to make room in your life to pursue great things?

Quittin’ Time

Are you a quitter?

You like your job, but you no longer love it. You’ve got a good thing going, but an opportunity is knocking with the potential to be great. You don’t have enough reasons to stay put, but loyalty to the company keeps you from making a career move. You don’t want to be seen as a quitter. We equate quitters with failure, but walking away from a job that no longer aligns with your values makes you smart; not a quitter. Your ambition is a good thing and it takes courage to pursue work you really want and not settle for a job that’s no longer working for you. Do an ROI analysis of your job annually (e.g., performance review time) and react as objectively as possible. Give yourself permission to go after what you want.

Exit Strategy

You’ve accepted another job. Now what? Let’s talk basics: Get your ducks in a row with the new employer (e.g., your benefits package is in order, you have a copy of your signed contract, you’ve agreed on a start date, etc.) before saying anything to anyone at your current company, even your work bestie. The first person you tell is your manager. If you don’t have regular 1:1s, request one. Make sure this meeting is at least two weeks before the start date of your new job. Go to it with a resignation letter framed as a thank-you note with these elements: gratitude for the opportunities the company and your manager gave you, a diplomatic statement of why you’re leaving (e.g., “I’ve grown all I can with this company.”) and the date of your desired last day. While a two week notice is standard, be aware that you may be asked to leave immediately. Or, to stay longer than two weeks to wrap up loose ends and/or train your replacement. Bring a succession plan to this meeting: a list of your responsibilities and suggestions for who is qualified to take them over. Try to work out a who-needs-to-know-when timetable you can agree on, but ultimately your manager gets to decide. Have a tactful elevator-speech-length story ready to tell your coworkers when they ask why you’re leaving.

It’s a small world after all.

Chances are good you’ll need a reference from your manager or you’ll run into coworkers at networking events so don’t speak negatively about the company. Keep your attitude professional and set up the coworkers who assume your responsibilities for success (e.g., type up a status report of the projects you’re working on, introduce them to your clients via email, offer to be available via phone or email after you leave). Keep it classy even after you turn in your keys. Announce on your social media platforms that you’ve accepted another position, but be sure to publicly thank the company you left for preparing you for this new opportunity.

Have you ever felt conflicted leaving a job? Please share in the comments section.

Come Together

Photo by John Guccione www.advergroup.com from Pexels

Spendthrift loves Cheapskate

When couples argue over finances, money is almost never the real problem. It’s a symptom of the real problem. We learn about money as children. We didn’t analyze our parents’ bank statements when we were 10 years old, but we did experience where their money went. Did we live paycheck to paycheck? Did we go to Disney World every year? Did we donate to charitable organizations? If we got a bike for Christmas, we knew we had money. If the heat got turned off at Christmas, we knew we didn’t. These experiences influence our relationship with money. It’s common for couples to have vastly different opinions regarding money, while simultaneously assuming everyone else’s attitude toward it is the same as ours. Saver marries Spender oblivious our spouse’s financial philosophy will quickly drive us crazy, but couples overcome financial differences every day. As with most things in life, it’s all in the approach.

We Need to Talk

Saver and Spender should talk about money priorities at a time that is good for both and in a relaxed setting. We come to this date with a list of what is important to us to both spend money on and save money for. First, we figure out how much money we each make every month. Next, we go through the monthly bills (e.g., mortgage/rent, utilities, internet, phone, gas, groceries, etc.) and see how much we have to spend on these fixed expenses. Ideally, what we have to spend is less than what we make (If not, that’s a whole ‘nuther blog post).

The difference in those two figures is disposable income. This is the money we have to talk about. Does Saver like putting money in a savings account? Does Spender like to eat out? Agree on monthly limits for both. We also need to agree on an amount each can spend without the other’s blessing and we should set parameters on what qualifies as a big purchase (e.g., a car). The goal is for Saver to feel secure and Spender to not feel confined.

For additional comfort and freedom, we can open separate accounts in addition to our joint account. The joint account is for bill paying and each spouse can contribute proportional to our income. We define what purchases qualify as household expenses (e.g., child care) and pay those out of the joint account. Discretionary spending comes from the individual accounts.

We consider debt. How much are we comfortable with (e.g., credit card debt)? What are we willing to go in debt for (e.g., our children’s education)?

We ought to discuss saving and investment goals. Do we want to buy a house? Go on a month-long vacation? Retire early?

The more couples talk about money (how we spend it and why), the easier it gets. We aren’t just building our finances, we’re building our trust in each other.

How do you and your spouse deal with money issues? Please share in the comments section.

What Difference Does it Make?

Last year there was huge buzz around Marie Kondo and her movement to spark joy through tidying up. If you followed her method, do you still feel joy from the things you kept? If not, maybe tidying up just made you happy instead of joyful. Here in the doldrums of winter, let’s brighten things up a bit by discussing the difference between happiness and joy and what we have to do to get them.

What’s the Difference?

Happiness – is a temporary and fleeting emotion. It’s a result of what’s going on in our lives at the moment (e.g., landing a big account or going on vacation). Happiness is external and pretty much out of our control. It’s experiencing positivity, gaining fulfillment, and getting what we want. Happiness is a consequence of good fortune; like how we feel when we reach a goal (e.g., a promotion). It’s a feeling and feelings can change in a New York minute.

Joy – is permanent and comes from within us. It depends only on our behavior; as opposed to how someone else’s behavior affects our moods. We have to choose joy. It doesn’t just come naturally. For example, we can choose to like ourselves for our kindness instead of berate ourselves for not yet losing those last ten pounds. Joy is closely associated with peace of mind. We can build it and allow it to evolve as we discover what people, places, and things bring us comfort. Joy is wanting what we have. It’s a state of being content in all circumstances. Joy requires a growth mindset. It is unique to the individual and can dictate the steps we take to attain our goals. Cultivating joy is definitely worth our T.E.A.M.

How Do We Achieve Them at Work?

Happiness – We can set and meet S.M.A.R.T. goals, make $60,000 – $95,000 a year, take a coffee break, text a friend, or listen to a song. We can routinely treat ourselves to small diversions to refresh our dispositions. If we don’t like our jobs (e.g., digging ditches) we can unearth an aspect outside of our tasks that we do like (e.g., my muddy buddy in the ditch beside me could be a stand up comedian).

Joy – We can practice gratitude: be thankful we have jobs and hot cups of coffee. We can discover meaning and purpose in our work. We can choose to further our personal development. We can let offenses go and not dwell on the negative. We can do what’s necessary to obtain peace of mind (e.g., prepare for a client presentation for an entire week ahead of the meeting). We can adjust our attitudes. We can cut back on social media; especially the platforms that promote competition (look where I went, whom I’m with, what I’m eating). We can take on challenges and risks and not give up until we’ve competed the tasks. Then, we can celebrate our successes no matter how small.

What are you doing to build joy into your work life? Please share in the comments section below.

Movin’ on Up

Photo by Markus Spiske temporausch.com from Pexels

I arrange my office furniture around the electric outlets. Is that weird? Hear me out. There are a finite number of outlets in my office. I have to plug in two monitors, docks for two computers, speakers, coffee cup warmer, desk lamp, phone charger, and air freshener. I not only need at least one power strip, but also to place my desk along the wall with the most outlets. We can think of our careers in the same way. If we’re trying to advance, we must get close to those in power.

Identify the Elvis

You’ve discovered a team/department with whom you’d like to work. Before declaring your intentions, see what you can find out about their manager (i.e., the Elvis) through some harmless stalking. Does your company’s website have biographies or resumes of the leadership team? How about an organizational chart on its intraweb? Does the Elvis have a LinkedIn profile? Get to know the people who are important to him. Pay attention to who his go-to direct reports are. Ask yourself how you can provide value to him. You can start by helping out his team. Do the tasks they either don’t have time for or don’t like.

Business Development

Managers are supposed to help their employees develop professionally, but if your current manager is happy with your performance, she may be more interested in keeping you where you are. It’s a hassle to replace you. If you’ve learned everything there is to know about your own role and aren’t interested in moving to the next position in your job family, (or maybe that role is filled by someone who isn’t going anywhere) you’ll have to develop yourself. Ultimately, you are responsible for your advancement.

Knowledge is Power

Do some discreet reconnaissance. Find out what positions in your company are (or soon will be) available, get the required skills if you lack them, find out how other teams work together, and think about what unique abilities you can contribute. Remember to also consider your career trajectory. Is this a lateral move? Will you lose any benefits? Will this position look good on your resume?

Fake it ‘til You Make it

There’s nothing wrong with sitting in a meeting, nodding, smiling, and taking notes; then going to your office, shutting the door, and Googling all the jargon and acronyms used during the meeting. If I can’t manage to act like I know what someone is talking about, I ask follow up questions. I hope to demonstrate my desire to learn is stronger than my fear of everyone knowing how ignorant I am on the subject.

Confidence Begets Confidence

Dress for the next position you want, not the one you have. Speak kindly to everyone, from the CEO to the janitor. Stand up straight, put your phone down, and look coworkers in the eye. You’ll be remembered as a desirable team mate, promote your brand, and expand your network; all of which you need to keep moving up in your career.

What are you doing to get to the next level? Please share in the comments section.

Refresh for the Roaring 20’s

So here we are in a brand new decade. Are our old financial habits still serving us? Here are five ways we can spend less, save more, and live better.

Save it for a Rainy Day

Life happens. Sock some money away for unexpected events like car trouble, a dead refrigerator, or your child’s emergency room visit. I use Dave Ramsey’s advice on how much to set aside, but you may want to save more.

Goals are Good

We set S.M.A.R.T. goals for work, why not for our money? It’s good to have three: a long term goal for which it will take years to save like retirement (you may want to research IRA’s ), a medium term goal like a four week vacation driving the length of Route 66 (which could take a couple of years of saving), and a short term goal like purchasing a new laptop (which may only take a couple of months). It may be a good idea to arrange to have a percentage of our paychecks directly deposited to our savings accounts. We’re less tempted to spend money that’s a bit inaccessible. If we received a Christmas bonus, we should consider saving it toward our long or medium term goals. We won’t miss money we weren’t counting on.

Take a Picture, It Lasts Longer

Let’s get a snapshot of what our finances currently look like. Gather records like statements for investments, checking and savings accounts, and credit cards from last month. Where is all the money going? There are fixed expenses like the mortgage (or rent), loans (e.g., car, student), and utilities (e.g., gas, electricity) we have to pay every month. But to reach our savings goals, we may need to cut back on non-essentials. For example, do we use a food delivery service (Uber Eats, Grubhub, etc) a lot? Maybe it’s time to start cooking and food prepping instead. If we have debt that charges high interest (typically credit cards) we can use the money we save from not spending it on non-essentials and pay off the high-interest debt as fast as we can to save on finance charges.

I’m on the Hunt, I’m After You

Shopping online saves time, but when I’m trying to save money and the sweater I decided not to purchase keeps following me around from website to website as I check my social media (creepy, isn’t it?) begging me to buy it, it’s really hard to resist. So, I get offline and promise myself I won’t purchase the sweater (or whatever) until 48 hours have passed. If I can live without it for two days, I can probably live without it period.

Just do it

We shouldn’t wait to begin saving until we think we can afford to put some money aside. It’s likely that day will never come. Begin saving money immediately; even if it’s just $20 a week in a savings account. By the end of a year, we’ll have $1040, a nice emergency fund.

Have you updated your savings plan for 2020? Please share it in the comments section below.

Not Your Grandmother’s Resolution

As we prepare to celebrate the end of 2019, (after tornadoes and a mass shooting here in Dayton, OH, we say good riddance) and prepare for 2020, we think about making New Year’s resolutions. How about instead of resolving to stop smoking or lose weight, let’s:

Treat others the way we want to be treated

For example, when I have a new project at work requiring the talents of someone from another team, I first approach the person whose talent I need and ask if he’s interested. If so, I then approach his manager and ask her permission to assign him to my project. I outline the work, the time I expect it to take, and how it will benefit both the talent and the company. Respectful communication helps us all get more work done.

Listen and learn

Let’s seek opportunities that put us in the same room with people who have different backgrounds and lifestyles than us and listen to their stories. I’ve gotten to know some excellent people by scheduling a follow-up coffee after meeting at a networking event. Seeing the world from someone else’s perspective expands our own.

Flip the script

Much like Joan Jett covering the Mary Tyler Moore Show theme, let’s do something unexpected. This takes a lot of energy. It’s easier to sit and complain about the way things are instead of leaving the break room and doing something about them. For example, if we usually wait to be asked for our ideas, let’s take initiative, write up a brief proposal, and email it to our manager.

Stop comparing

Our journeys are unique. If we compare ourselves to someone with fewer resources to make ourselves feel important, how petty is that? If we compare ourselves to someone further down the career path to make ourselves feel unimportant, how degrading is that? Let’s focus on improving our good habits one percent every day. Let’s only compare ourselves to who we were yesterday. Did we take a step toward our goals or improving our systems today? Let’s make that the bar we strive to meet.

Rise

For example, if we habitually complain about other women, why? Are we jealous? Do we think success was handed to them? Does it relieve us of the responsibility of hustle and sacrifice? Let’s stay in our lanes, assume they got where they are through hard work, and support them to advance even further. When we add value to someone’s life, the law of reciprocity kicks in and we can end up benefiting. Let’s intentionally lift each other up.

These resolutions build our self-esteem and confidence. Not only will we like ourselves more, but others will like us too, and that’s good for business. Some people light up the room when they walk in and some people light up the room when they walk out. In the new year, let’s aim to be the former.

Please share in the comments section how you resolve to stretch yourself in 2020.

This is How We Role

Does leading people scare you? Good. It means you care. The best leaders want the people in their charge to succeed. How can you achieve that? Model learning, networking, and resilience; like these women.

Learning: Katherine Johnson

You probably know her from the movie Hidden Figures. Katherine has been a brilliant mathematician since she was 13 years old. In 1939, she was the lone female of only three black students permitted to attend the graduate program in mathematics at West Virginia University. She began work at Langley Memorial Aeronautical Laboratory in 1953, where she was the only one John Glenn trusted to calculate the trajectory of his orbital flight around the earth. She is the author/co-author of 26 research reports. She cites helping synch Project Apollo’s Lunar Lander with the moon-orbiting Command and Service Module as her most important contribution to space exploration.

You may not be a STEM rockstar like Katherine, but you can build on your strengths and use them to inspire your team. Do you like to communicate? Is your delivery clear and concise? If your colleagues’ eyes glaze over when you present in meetings, maybe it’s time for a refresher on communication best practices.

Networking: Judy Robinett

Judy is “the woman with the titanium digital Rolodex.” She’s an entrepreneur, business thought leader, author, and she was profiled in Fast Company, Huffington Post, and Forbes for her reputation as a “super connector.” Judy says quality (your level of connection with someone) beats quantity when building a powerful network and there’s a limit on how many relationships we can juggle at one time. (Spoiler alert: it’s 150.)

You may not have a titanium digital Rolodex like Judy, but you have circles of influence. Dig deeper into these relationships. Find out what networking groups one of your coworkers attends and offer to be her wingman. None of your team mates have a networking group? Identify one you’d like to attend and ask at least one colleague to join you.

Resilience: Sheryl Sandberg

Sheryl graduated from Harvard University, helped make Google a profitable company, advocates for women in business through Lean In, authored two books, and as the COO at Facebook, is one of the wealthiest women in the world. But Sheryl is criticized for preaching at working mothers to remain in the workforce (because she can afford to hire staff to work both in her office and her home), her husband died suddenly in 2015 leaving her widowed with two children, and she got blamed for Facebook’s Cambridge Analytica scandal.

You may not have to defend your decisions on a national stage like Sheryl, but you’ll face customers’ anger while you’re wounded. Dealing with unpleasant situations under difficult circumstances gives you opportunity to show your direct reports emotional intelligence in action. The next time one of your clients is upset, take a team member with you to the client’s office to talk about resolution. This earns both the client’s and team member’s respect.

A role model inspires us to set goals, gives us the tools to reach them, and celebrates us when we do. If you do that, you are both a great leader and role model.

Please share the qualities you look for in a role model in the comments section.