Decision Making – Page 8 – mardihumphreys.com

Boxed In

When anyone asks me how old I am, I reply, “I stopped keeping track at 30.” It feels a bit defensive, but once I’m labeled as of a certain age I’m immediately put in a certain box. I’m hyper-conscious I have two strikes against me in the American workforce: I’m a woman over 35 years old. It’s harder for my tribe to get potential employers’ attention with every passing day. Some of the children who were taught to help old ladies across the street and carry old men’s groceries to their cars have grown into adult hiring managers who label anyone with a touch of grey hair as weak, forgetful, and when they’re your employees, expensive. Three examples come to mind:

1) People are considered elderly at 65 years old, but the full retirement age in America is 67. Rumor has it the retirement age will be raised to 70 pretty soon, so there are plenty of people who need to work for at least three more years and be carried on their employers’ insurance policies. These employees typically use more insurance benefits than their younger coworkers, raising the cost of premiums for all employees. But there are loads of healthy older employees positively contributing to their organization’s bottom line thanks to adopting healthy lifestyles, preventative medicine, and a mindset of perpetual learning; especially about emerging technology. We should be judged on our contributions and considered for the same opportunities as anyone else.

2) The general assumption is older workers require a higher wage. This seems to be especially apparent in the tech sector. Dan Lyons recounts his experience of getting laid off in his book, Disrupted: My Misadventure in the Startup Bubble. He was informed the company could use his salary to hire five kids out of college. But if the company is full of recent graduates, who has the experience and wisdom to guide the team? Where are the mentors? The Subject Matter Experts? These are the people who, when crisis hits, fall back on their training to carry the team and save projects. With the growing interest in encore careers, workers in their 40’s and 50’s are making more lateral moves in terms of salary. We consider benefits like flex-time, working remotely, paid time off to volunteer, and employer paid higher education, at least as important as wages when negotiating a compensation package.

3) Ageism affects everyone. We assume we’re talking about older workers, but remember when you were considered too young to do something? Like rent a car at 22 years old? If we have to be 25-35 years old to be employable in America, we’re headed for an economic crisis. Ageism comes from inside an organization. It’s systematic and terrifying.

We’ll all be in boxes eventually. Cemeteries are full of them. Can we please be judged on our accomplishments and character instead of our statistical potential to drain the company’s resources? How do we combat ageism in our companies without getting fired? I’d love to see your opinions in the comments section.

What’s it all for?

Captain Herschel L. Smith Photo Credit to the owner

Memorial Day is a holiday dedicated to honor those who died while serving in military service to America. It always reminds me of my Grandpa, Herschel L. Smith. Although, he didn’t die in the line of duty (Thank You, Lord), so I don’t know why Memorial Day makes me think of him. He served as a Captain in the U.S. Army Air Corps and piloted B-24 Liberators during WWII. His plane was shot down over Germany. As the enemy moved in to take his crew captive, he told his men, “We’re going to win the war. We’re just not gonna win it today.” And for the next 11 months they were POWs. He had a purpose: to keep hope alive in his team. Through the filter of winning a war, decision making gets simple; not easy, but straightforward. We benefit from our military personnel’s sacrifices to maintain our freedom. So what are we doing with this privilege? What is my purpose? What is yours?

Make time to find your purpose. Here is an article to help. Finding your purpose may take a while, but it’s a wise investment. Making decisions through the filter of purpose causes wise choices to be more obvious and simplifies the process. For example: If you are in sales (spoiler alert: everyone is in sales), your purpose is to help your customers. You want to provide them with a product or service they need at a price they can afford. When you approach a potential customer with that mindset, your instinct is to ask them what their pain points are. When you learn the obstacles they face, it helps you figure out how to fix their problems with your product or service.

Experiment. Have you always wanted to do something, but never had time: Gourmet cooking? Coding? Story telling? You’ll never just have time. You have to make time. Jump in and take a class. Or, are you really good at something? Get yourself a YouTube channel and teach others what you know. Do you love dogs? Volunteer at your local animal shelter. Do you want to make a difference in a young person’s life? Mentor.

Remember you have more than one. You bring one purpose to your partner. You bring a different purpose to your first child and a different purpose to each subsequent child. You bring a purpose to your mom and a different purpose to your dad and a different purpose to your bestie. You may bring multiple purposes to your job, church, school, intramural team, book club, etc.

It can evolve over time. When our daughter was little, my purpose as a mom was to guide and protect. Now that she’s an adult it’s to encourage and support.

In closing, I salute Captain Herschel L. Smith with some of his favorite words:
By the world I was soon forgotten
No one has mourned for me
as over the world I have wandered
across the boundless sea
So drink to me again boys through the midst of crocodile tears
for when I’m gone no one will mourn
the last of the bombardiers

Please share how your journey to finding your purpose is going in the comments section.

Going Solo

adult-audience-celebration — Photo by Pixabay from Pexels

Thank you for all the tips you gave me after my post on networking solo. Some of them came in handy at events I recently attended. Like finding someone sitting alone who looked as scared as I felt. It worked! It turned out he works at a business for which my company recently subcontracted. This led to using another tip: find something in common to discuss. With the experience of attending a couple more speed dating type events under my belt, a pattern is emerging. Here are some of their common elements:

Gobs of people on their phones
Carbohydrate loaded snacks
People continuously scanning the room for other people they already know
The chair at the end of the row is always claimed first
Booths stocked with swag to lure attendees into conversation
An extrovert working the room like a circus ringmaster (“Register for our mailing list!”)
Opening remarks asking if this is anyone’s first time (not cool to out us newbies, btw)
Presentations that were WAY too busy (Slides with lists and pictures crowding the screen so badly they are exhausting to read)
Speakers who seemed to be fund raising (Sponsoring a hole for your next golf outing will guarantee me revenue. Really?!)
Microphone issues
Dignitaries telling us how great we were, how they appreciated us, and now go forth and connect!
Help desks staffed by knowledgeable and friendly people

One event offered an app with PUSH notifications which came in handy when one of my scheduled meetings cancelled because that’s the only way I knew it was off. Another event had great signage from the moment I pulled into the parking lot. I made the most connections talking to the vendors, eating lunch with other attendees, and talking to other participants waiting in line around me for our turns at the popular exhibition booths.

These events felt like Kindergarten recess. You walk up to the tetherball pole (in this case a booth). You wait for someone to make eye contact, then you say, “Hi! I’m (Your Name Here), what’s your name?” and the game begins. It’s not so painful since a connection is all you’re looking for. You just need someone who will hit the ball back for a few minutes, am I right?

Any more networking tips for me? What about for following up after an event? Please leave your advice in the comments section.

The Blame Game

Ever think about taking shortcuts at work? Sometimes in weekly meetings with my manager I’d think, “It would just be so easy to blame Joe Sixpack and his long smoke breaks for production being down this month.” When in reality, if I’d made 20 more cold calls two weeks ago, we probably could’ve reached our monthly goal. In that moment, I had to decide whether or not I would be accountable. businessdictionary.com defines accountability as: “The obligation of an individual or organization to account for its activities, accept responsibility for them, and to disclose the results in a transparent manner. It also includes the responsibility for money or other entrusted property.”

Why should accountability matter to you?

Because it directly affects your team’s productivity, efficiency, and morale; particularly when there’s a lack of accountability. Productivity wanes because who wants to work hard next to someone who is lazy then listen to excuses for why his work isn’t done? Efficiency decreases because now your team wonders who has what role: “I thought Joe Sixpack was responsible for ordering inventory, but maybe Jane Merlot really is.” Morale declines because trust is gone and everyone feels the need to constantly protect their rears. But should you account for circumstances beyond your control? Let’s say I actually made those 20 additional cold calls two weeks ago and we still didn’t make our monthly goal. Then what? I still have to acknowledge I didn’t accomplish what was expected, but I’d ask my manager what I can do differently to reach this month’s goal.

How do you demonstrate accountability?

When you make a mistake admit it. If you can come up with a way to not make it again, have that plan ready when questioned about it. E.g.: “For inventory, I ordered 4000 widgets when I meant to order 400. I’ll ask Jane to double check my data entry before submitting the next order.” Don’t make promises you know you can’t keep and keep the promises you make. If you can’t come through, let the team know ASAP. Also brief them on what you’re doing to fix the situation. To track your accountability progress, try journaling. Here’s one that only takes five minutes. Or find an accountability partner. You can keep each other honest and on track to reaching your individual goals. Show your manager you’re serious about accountability with updates during your weekly 1:1s. If your manager doesn’t hold weekly meetings with you, write a status report on your own. What did you spend your week doing? Being able to quickly pull up a report detailing all your past projects could save your job during cutbacks. At the very least, this list makes annual performance review prep super easy.

Once your boss realizes you’re someone who knows they make mistakes and is brave enough to own them, fix them, and not repeat them, she’ll keep coming back to you with projects. A reputation for accountability adds value and security to your position.

What do you do to prove accountability to either your manager or your team? Please share in the comments section below.

Volunteer Opportunity

My mother is retired from the workforce, but I think she hustles harder now more than ever. She’s a perpetual volunteer in ministry to people. She offers her time and service to God as an act of worship. Some of her activities include: Teaching a weekly ladies’ Sunday School class, working in her church’s nursery, intervention counseling at her church’s private school as well as proctoring. She mentors younger women, facilitates Grief Share meetings, and visits shut-ins. That’s not the complete list, by the way, and I’m exhausted just typing it. I don’t know how she makes time to accomplish all her volunteer ministries. If she were job hunting right now, her volunteerism gives her a 27% better chance of getting hired than a job seeker who doesn’t volunteer.

How does volunteering help you get a job? Employers want to know you like to work even if you’re not paid for it. If you volunteer at an organization where you’d like to be employed, you have access to finding out about job openings; maybe even before they’re posted to the general public. Even if you don’t volunteer at an organization you want to work for, spending time helping others actually helps you. You feel good about yourself when you give. Feeling good about yourself makes it easier to maintain a positive attitude which bleeds over into your job search and in interviews. If you’re looking for a job because you’re unemployed, volunteering looks good on a resume. It fills time gaps. It telegraphs to potential employers that you value giving back to your community (and you want to work for an employer who feels the same way, right?). Volunteering gives you stories to tell when answering interview questions (e.g.: “What are you passionate about?” “What are your hobbies?”), and expands your network. You never know who you’ll meet, where they work, or who they know. Don’t volunteer too much, but don’t volunteer too little either. This study shows volunteering more than 100 hours a year does not raise your chances of getting hired; nor does volunteering less than 20 hours a year. When you do get hired, you might not have to give up volunteering. Ask your manager if the company offers Volunteer Time Off (VTO). It’s a trending perk. One in four American companies and non-profits offer VTO.

Mom and I, along with my husband and my dad, will spend this Mother’s Day attending my daughter’s college commencement ceremony. She is also known for her volunteerism. During her time at university, she’s volunteered on both her campus activities board and at Gospel Mission, and tutored African refugees. I’m grateful Mom has this influence on her. It’s no doubt one of the reasons she had a successful college career in both her classes and her student employment. It will no doubt continue contributing to her success as she begins her next life phase in the workforce.

Do you volunteer? Please tell us about your experience in the comment section.

Is There Something I Should Know?

When my friend found out I got a job with a company she was familiar with, she said, “Wait a minute. Are you smart? Because these guys are like, Big Bang Theory smart.” No pressure.

She’s right. I work with brilliant people. Everyday I’m reminded of how little I know; which is good. It both keeps me humble and forces me to learn new things. Walking into the office in the morning, I’m blissfully ignorant and full of confidence. Walking out of the office in the afternoon, I’m dolefully aware and have a to-learn list. Feeling like I know something when I actually don’t has a name: Unconscious Incompetence. And it’s dangerous. It prevents me from recognizing certain situations as problems, so I’m unaware I need help solving them. It’s the classic stage one of the learning model.

Right about now you’re asking yourself: “How do I know if I’m Unconsciously Incompetent?” You can get clues by using a process. For example, when your manager gives you an assignment, ask:

Q: What is the project?
A: Proofreading a report.
Q: What does she want done?
A: In addition to grammar and spellcheck, look at comma use and sentence fragments. Track any changes.
Q: When is it due?
A: One week from today.
Q: What should the deliverable look like?
A: A 12 page report in the company’s preferred format.

For bigger projects, give your manager regular status reports so she can course correct and ask her for KPIs. This mitigates the danger of misusing data or unintentionally ignoring important information. It decreases the odds you’ll be perceived as underperforming or at the other extreme, overconfident. This process can reveal what you don’t know. If you have much to learn, you now have time to either acquire the skills you need or reach out to a skilled team member for help before the deadline.

How can you proactively combat Unconscious Incompetence?
– Discover your weaknesses: Ask a trusted coworker where he thinks your blind spots are. Ask a friend what she think your strengths and weaknesses are.
–Take a skills test: like Strengths finder 2.0 (look for it at your local library) or you can take a free course on Lynda.com.
–Find out what skills your company values: These will be your learning objectives. For example: If your company is hiring programmers, learn some basic coding (Also from Lynda.com; it doesn’t have to cost money). There’s no point in learning to basketweave if your company doesn’t sell baskets. Learn a skill that will help you keep your (or get a new) job.
–Reflect: Recall a time you realized you didn’t know something. What did you do then? Did you read a book? Take a class? Interview a coworker who was a subject matter expert? Can you repeat that process in this situation?

Realizing you are Unconsciously Incompetent can be embarrassing at first, but it’s crucial for identifying the next step in growing your career, and that’s exciting!

Ever been Unconsciously Incompetent at work? Please share what you did to bridge your knowledge gap in the comments section below.

You’re Pushing Too Hard

As I was being electronically fingerprinted the other day, (Relax. Plenty of respectable people get fingerprinted for plenty of respectable reasons. :)) I couldn’t make my fingers print. The technician finally took my hand and scanned them herself. “Why can’t I make this work?” I wondered. She said, “You’re pushing too hard.” Story of my life. I’m impatient. I ask God to give me patience, but what He gives me is opportunities to practice it. This must mean patience is a skill we can learn. Here are four ways I’m trying at work:

Flexibility – When my schedule gets out of whack, I stress. My schedule gets whacked a lot. Most of the items on my calendar aren’t as time sensitive as I pretend. For example: I drink 72 ounces of water daily. I like to have it drunk by 3:30PM. It’s silly to be annoyed when I’m still drinking water at 5:00PM. In terms of work, are my self-imposed deadlines realistic? Is the boss going to be more impressed receiving my sales report the day before it’s due or will he be more impressed if my report contains the latest sales figures on the day it’s due?

Keep calm – Losing patience usually means getting angry. So when I feel the emotion building, I ask myself, “Will an outburst make this situation better?” Usually it won’t. Once upon a time I let loose at work and inadvertently hurt five people’s feelings. My relationship with them was never the same after my outburst. Anger is like a virus. If I cough rage all over my coworkers, pretty soon the whole team is upset. I now intentionally stop and think before I act: “Do I need a time out? Do I need to pray? Do I need to take a deep breath?”

Multitask less – Multitasking is an illusion. It actually lowers productivity. I start writing a report, which reminds me to jot down notes for Monday’s meeting, which prompts me to check on my print order, which prompts me to send an email, and pretty soon, I can’t remember which which is which. I get impatient to finish something by the end of the day. I’m trying to complete tasks one at a time. I keep a pen handy to jot down reminders of what still needs done.

Empathize – Life is fast: texts, instant pots, Netflix. We perceive waiting as negative and use that filter to evaluate work situations: “If the client was pleased with my presentation, she’d have gotten back to me by now.” “The boss didn’t return my email. I know he gets it on his phone.” I’m trying to walk in the other person’s shoes. Maybe the client is delayed because she needs to show the presentation to her program manager. Maybe the boss is delayed because he got a fire drill from his boss.

Patience is a sign of emotional intelligence. It’s a valuable, marketable skill. Tenacity is cool, but let’s recognize when we have to give the situation a rest. Pushing too hard sometimes makes things not work; like fingerprint scanners.

What do you get impatient with at work? Please share your stories in the comments section.

Dollars and Sense

Our daughter moves to Chicago next month to begin her first full-time job. She’ll earn more money than she’s made in her entire life. There are lessons my husband and I taught her about managing money that I feel good about and lessons I wish we’d known we should teach her, like:

How to use a bank: When our daughter was sixteen years old, my husband helped her open a debit account and linked it to ours. We not only see how much she’s spending, but can also transfer money between our accounts in case of emergencies.

Save your allowance: We struggled to develop a satisfactory allowance plan. One one hand, when she asked for the latest iPhone, we said, “Save your allowance.” On the other, if you get $10 a week just for existing, what does that teach? Some chores you should just do because you’re part of a family: clean your room, put your dishes in the dishwasher, do your own laundry, etc., right?

If you have a car, you have a job: My parents gave her money to buy a car and we paid for insurance, but gas and oil changes were her responsibility and her allowance wasn’t enough to cover those. My husband and I think working either in retail or food service should be mandatory and the earlier in life, the better. Those industries teach excellent customer service lessons. Our daughter got a job at an ice cream shop. We got discounts. 🙂

You need skin in the game: We had a Roth IRA to pay for college. She used it up freshman year. To pay for future years, she had a scholarship, financial awards, and student loans, but these didn’t cover all her expenses. So we made a deal. We’d make up the difference for the next three years. Any classes beyond four years, grad school, and student loans are her responsibility. She also had to work part-time. As a result she figured out how to get her bachelor’s degree in four years, sought free money (e.g. she received a grant for being a vice-president of her campus activities board), and worked; sometimes three jobs at a time. In other words, she learned how to hustle.

Be generous: When you’re comfortable giving money away, it loses its power over you. Growing up she helped us give and serve. Today she is known for her generosity and volunteerism.

Good credit is important: We intentionally avoided helping her get a credit card until her senior year in college. My husband counsels her on what to charge, how to check her balance, and when to pay the bill.

There are a few things I wish we’d done: Taught her how to make a proper budget, forced her to save for a goal (e.g., buying her own car), and avoided student loans. Last week she was at the grocery looking for something over the counter to take for her allergies. She texted me a photo asking if the drug would make her feel better. The package revealed she’d chosen a generic instead of brand name; maybe she learned something after all.

How do you teach your children the value of a dollar? Please share your story in the comments section below.

Micro vs Macro (Part 2)

Please see last week’s post for the micromanaging discussion. This week, let’s go to the other end of the spectrum.

What do macromanagers look like? At first glance, they seem like perfect bosses. Observing team dynamics helps us spot them: projects veering off track, missed deadlines, and team members who won’t play nice together, probably have a macromanager. They don’t interfere, hover, or prioritize accountability. Sometimes referred to as “hands off” managers, they have a “hire the right people and empower them” philosophy. Team bonding and creativity don’t happen because macromanagers don’t coach their teams. When the project encounters obstacles, egos come out and blame starts, but macromanagers are unavailable to lead their teams through conflict resolution. They force responsibility without authority onto individual contributors by abdicating tasks they should do to the team (e.g., role assignment for presentations: Who’s doing the research? Who’s creating the slide deck? Who is speaking?). Macromanagers leave deliverables open to interpretation. The team completes the project, but the result isn’t even close to what the macromanager wanted.

What if you’re macromanaged? As with micromanagers, communication is key. Meet with the whole team (I can feel your eyeroll. (LOL) I’m not a meeting fan either, but in this case, it’s the most efficient solution.) If your macromanager doesn’t want to explain details or impose order, ask him to at least provide the overall scope. Focus the macromanager on process and help the team accept responsibility for production. Ask follow up questions to help the team decide how to complete the project: Who is responsible for what? How are we going to handle conflict? To whom do we go with questions? Break the project down into smaller goals, assign roles, and set deadlines. Ask your macromanager for clear objectives and KPIs (Key Performance Indicators) to track the team’s progress. Find out what the deliverable should look like and make sure everyone sees it the same way. Schedule periodic one-on-ones with your macromanager to provide updates and course correct if necessary. If these meetings are not weekly, email updates between them and request feedback.

What’s the bottom line? Employees of a macromanager have freedom and opportunity, but without structured leadership, they struggle to develop new skills and effectively collaborate with their team. If your macromanager is unwilling to get involved, is there a team member willing to lead the project? Is the team willing to follow this person? If so, then the team can get work done. Ask yourself: Am I willing to lead this team but let my macromanager take credit for it? Am I willing to lead this team and take blame for it? Am I willing to acknowledge another team member as the leader and follow her? Do I have the resources to do my own professional development? Working for a macromanager is emotionally and mentally draining. If you are up for the challenge, keep good notes for performance review time (and your resume).

Have you worked for a macromanager? Please share your experience in the comments section below.

Micro vs Macro (Part 1)

Which management style is worse:

Too much help vs. not enough?

Territorial vs. letting things slip through the cracks?

Watching your every move vs. allowing coworkers to get away with murder?

The first part of the couplet describes micromanagers; the second macromanagers. While the styles are at opposite ends of the management spectrum, the results are the same. The difference is motivation. For example, micromanagers purposely withhold information forcing the team to act without all the facts. Macromanagers neglect to give information forcing the team to act without all the facts. This week, let’s limit our conversation to micromanagers

What do micromanagers look like? Aka: Helicopter Bosses, Suffocating Bosses, or Hovering Bosses. Words used to describe them: smothering, scrutinizing, criticizing, dictating. They oversee how tasks are done down to the smallest detail. Micromanaging can be too much of a good thing (e.g., bringing structure to chaos) and taken too far. They see themselves as “hands on” and leading by example instead of setting guidelines and following up. They get an adrenaline rush from successfully completing a project. Their constant fact checking and deadline reminders make employees feel inadequate and insecure because either the micromanagers don’t trust us to do our jobs or they don’t trust us to do them correctly. This makes us doubt our decisions and stifles innovation and initiative. Morale drops when they take credit for guiding the team. How are individual contributors supposed to get promoted if the managers take all the credit?

What if you’re micromanaged? Micromanaging is about control. We’re all wired to pursue control, but theirs stem from insecurity. It’s not pretty and it’s not fair, but the path of least resistance is to make micromanagers think they have it. You can do this by offering them choices. Are they afraid of failure? Assure them you are on their team and everyone rises together. Were they burned by a team member who didn’t deliver? Break the project down into goals. Set deadlines for reaching those goals. Schedule one on one meetings a week before deadlines to make sure your project is on track to their satisfaction. If they insist on checking on your progress between one on ones, encourage them to do it through email. After all, you’re just trying to free them up to get their own work done, right? 😉 Is this their first time managing a team? Boost their confidence by anticipating their pain points. Be able to answer the who, what, when, where, why, and how questions surrounding your project.

What’s the bottom line? They are the managers. If they want to course correct your plan, it’s their prerogative. Even if you disagree with their plan and you know it’s going in the wrong direction, you still have to do it. Ultimately, they are held responsible for the team’s successes and failures. Keep emails and meeting notes if you’re concerned they’ll throw you under the bus to their managers if the project fails. If that’s a real possibility, it’s time to get yourself new management.

Have you ever had micromanagers? Please share your stories in the comments section.