Attention

Employees Engage

If you’re just joining us, we are in part 3 of 4 in our Toxic Traits series. So far, we’ve thought about why toxicity in the workplace seems to be on the rise and what managers can do to make the workplace less toxic.

Have you seen any Reels like these lately? Social media amplifies discussions about workplace issues, bringing visibility to toxic behaviors that used to be overlooked. While these videos make you laugh as well as feel seen, they don’t exactly help you solve your toxicity problem. Through collaboration, inclusivity, communication, and mutual respect you can help transform your workplace into an environment where both employer and employees thrive. This solution seems simple, but it’s not easy. So, what can employees do to make your workplace less toxic?

Communicate Effectively: Interact respectfully with colleagues and supervisors. Commit to constructive communication and use the appropriate medium. For example: When you feel like someone belittled your idea in a reply-all email, instead of immediately defending your position, reply all with, “I’d like to learn more. I’ll set up a call for you and I to go deeper.” Showing curiosity in their input signals you have an open mind. Pulling the issue out of the group email demonstrates emotional intelligence. By the way, keeping your mind open does not mean you have to change it.

Support Peers: Foster a collaborative atmosphere by helping your teammates. For example: When someone new joins your team, think about what you wish you’d known when you were in their shoes. Are there certain reference documents in the shared drive they should know about? Does the team take turns buying coffee? Offer to be available to answer their questions.

Engage Constructively: Participate positively in meetings to build a sense of community. For example: When your weekly check-ins start off with what went wrong, call out a teammate who helped make it right.

Manage Stress: Practice self-care to maintain personal well-being. Establish and maintain healthy boundaries around time spent on work. For example: When you receive a work email during Jeopardy! do NOT reply.

Report Issues: Speak up about toxic behaviors using appropriate channels. For example: When you repeatedly get left out of emails containing information pertinent to your responsibilities on the project, get face time with the source and ask them to add you to the thread. You do not have to be confrontational. Concentrate on the call to action. You can say, “Will you please add me to the email list for the project? It has come to my attention I need that information to complete my part of it. I can wait while you do that right now.”

Help Others: Embrace opportunities to stay engaged. For example: When your marketing department needs an extra hand hosting a table at an event your organization is sponsoring, volunteer to help. This gives you insight into another department, feedback on how your work contributes to your organization’s brand, and a networking opportunity.

Both employers and employees have crucial roles to play in growing a healthy workplace culture. It takes perseverance, but working together will decrease toxicity, increase productivity, and promote overall well-being for everyone in the organization.

Have you ever worked in a toxic workplace? What did you do to make it less toxic? Please share in the comments.

Assess Your Systems

This is part three of four in the series, Stop and Think. In part one, we talked about reflecting on how you spent your time during the first two quarters of this year. Last week we put some energy into applying the insights you gained to update your goals for the rest of 2024. This week, let’s take your newly iterated SMART goals and turn our attention to your systems for reaching them.

What is the Difference?

SMART (Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant, Time-bound) goals help you break down big ambitions into manageable tasks and set a timeline for reaching them. Goals are the results you want to attain. Developing systems focuses on your process to achieve those results. Now that you have updated your goals for 2024, you also need to update your systems. I’m thinking here of a quote from Atomic Habits:

“You do not rise to the level of your goals. You fall to the level of your systems.”
James Clear

Reflecting on the last six months, do you see where your current routine led you to where you are now? How far off target are you? Gradual improvement is key to reaching your SMART goals. The purpose of your habits should be to help you keep making incremental progress. Flexibility and adaptability ensure that your incremental progress is in the right direction. Adjust your habits so they give you both the consistency and direction you need. For example, let’s say you got reassigned to a new department in May and are getting acquainted with four new team mates. Having a system to build relationships with them so that you can get to know, like, and trust each other will not only enable your team to complete work assignments faster, but also increase the quality of your projects’ results. Your system for getting to know your four coworkers is asking them how their weekends went during your project status meetings, so progress is slow. To get to know them more efficiently, calendar a 30-minute coffee meeting at the beginning of the workday every Tuesday for a month with a different team member. If during one of these coffee talks you discover it’s going to take more than 30 minutes to get acquainted with a certain team member, then schedule another coffee for next month. Experiment with your systems and adjust them to serve your goals. This helps you remain agile and open to change. Adaptability is crucial to your success at work. It is essential for navigating the challenges of your current responsibilities. It is also a highly sought after power skill.

What’s Next?

Let your manager know you have updated your goals and systems in your next one-to-one meeting. Give them a brief summary of your reflection including what you noticed was not working well, your updated goal, and your new plan to reach the goal. Tell them you intend to implement this process through the end of Q3, then report the results back to them at the beginning of October. This not only helps you be accountable, it also lets your manager see you are self-motivated, take initiative, and are a leader.

What modifications can you make to your routine to improve the systems that support your goals? Please share in the comments.

Emotional Granularity

You’ve probably heard the advice that when you feel nervous, like before a presentation, you should tell yourself that you are not nervous, you are excited. By doing this, you turn the negative emotion into a positive one.

You’ve probably sat behind your computer trying to solve a difficult problem and suddenly your body feels like it ran a marathon. You think, “What is wrong with me? All I’ve done for the last hour is sit here and I’m exhausted.” When you feel frustrated, it’s not always because something is wrong, it may be because something is emotionally hard.

There is neuroscience behind these mindsets. For the health of your brain, as well as the rest of your body, take your process for dealing with your fight, flight, or freeze response a step further and recategorize stressful emotions.

What Is Emotional Granularity?

The next level of emotional intelligence is emotional granularity. It is the ability to precisely label your emotions at the time you are having them. This is a coping mechanism that helps you be more spontaneously resilient during a stressful situation. When you can recognize an emotion and label it, you can regulate it. You gain more control over the outcome of the situation you’re in at the time you are in it. While you can’t stop feeling emotions, you can decide how to act on them to create the results that most benefit you.

How Can You Use It?

You probably mentally place the label “negative” on the emotions you perceive as unpleasant. But emotions are neither positive nor negative. Emotions are electrical impulses in your brain signaling that what you’re experiencing is something you care about. For example, let’s say you are gearing up for your annual job performance review and you are dreading it. What would happen if you told yourself you feel determination instead of dread? You would be able to change your reality. You would prepare differently. If you dread, then maybe you avoid preparing for the review until the last minute because you don’t like the way it makes you feel. If you recategorize dread as determination, then as soon as your review date is scheduled, you pull out your Atta Baby file and revisit all the goals you met during the last year as well as the praise you received for your job performance. Now you have the documentation to remind the organization of your value. Now you have the confidence to prove your worth. Now that emotion is a force driving you to a more positive outcome.

Why Should You?

When you are in a situation that makes you feel anxious, your body is trying to tell you something. Instead of making a snap decision, stop and ask yourself why you feel the way you do. Paying attention to those feelings and getting curious about what is causing them gives you options for how to deal with them. The discomfort is rolling around in your brain anyway. You may as well catch the emotion, unravel it, and make it work for you.

How do you reframe your unpleasant emotions? Please share in the comments.

Sustainable Success

What happens when you compare your job performance to your coworkers’ and you are not flattered by the comparison? You feel like you can’t mess up. Ever. You fight to be #1, and discover how hard it is to stay #1. You stick to the routines that proved successful in the past instead of trying new things which stifles your creativity, experimentation, and innovation. Beating the competition becomes more important to you than your customer’s satisfaction. What can you do to turn things around?

Team of Rivals

It’s normal to see your coworkers’ job performance, notice your manager’s reaction to it, and gauge how you are doing. You feel good when you compare favorably and nervous when you don’t. This habit is probably most obvious, and even formalized, in a company’s sales department where top salespeople are rewarded more than bottom ones creating internal competition among the team. Instead of comparing yourself to colleagues, how about setting incremental goals for yourself? Make them flexible so you can embrace change, be open to new approaches, and bounce back after disappointments. For example, using our sales scenario, if you did not reach your quota last month, would another 10 cold calls a day help you reach it this month? Your capacity to adapt will not only set you apart, but also carry you through inevitable setbacks.

Abundance Over Scarcity

Instead of being threatened by your coworkers’ success, how about using it for motivation? Continuous learning is a cornerstone of professional development and identifies you as a leader. Seek opportunities for upskilling so you stay relevant in your ever-evolving market. Make resilience in the face of adversity one of your goals. Swap your fear of not being good enough for curiosity. For example, analyze the differences between you and a successful coworker to discover capabilities you should obtain. There will be enough opportunities for everyone because you will create them. Factor self-compassion into your goal setting. It will help you maintain a positive mindset and reduce self-criticism. Be kind to yourself by celebrating your achievements, no matter how small.

You Are Your Competition

Instead of focusing on competing with your colleagues, how about shifting your mindset to competing with yourself? Strive to become an expert in your field. Set goals focused on personal growth so you are not only valuable to your organization, but also to your profession. State your goals using phrases that describe process improvement. For example, improve on, get better at, grow in. You want to be better than YOU were yesterday not better than OTHERS are today. Set small, specific, easily-achievable goals to quickly boost your self-confidence. Maintain and refine your learning through regular practice. Whether it’s honing your presentation skills, becoming a more efficient project manager, or perfecting your coding techniques, steady progress helps you retain knowledge and discover new skills to learn next.

Measuring your self-worth by whether or not you meet monthly Key Performance Indicators (KPI) does not set you up for sustainable success. When some variables are not under your control, you can try your best and still fall short of the organization’s goal for you. Align your goals with your values and aspirations, not with external benchmarks or the achievements of your team. It’s surprising how often you meet monthly KPI when you set goals that are personally meaningful to you.

How do you prevent comparing yourself to your coworkers? Please share in the comments.

Power Tool

Two weeks ago we began this series, Let’s Get Critical, by defining critical thinking. The following week we discussed how to use it at work. But does critical thinking benefit you personally if no one knows you can do it? How can you prove you are a critical thinker and use it to further your career?

Demonstrate

Ask – Curiosity is the fuel that powers critical thinking. You need to get past the symptoms of a problem to find its cause. What is your why? What is the context? How does it make you feel? What works well? What can be improved? What should you stop doing? Questions like these signal your mind is open to new ideas and new ways of doing things.

Listen – While someone is answering your questions, only break eye contact to take a brief note. Nod in acknowledgement when they emphasize a point. After they answer, reply with a paraphrase of what you heard them say. You don’t have to agree with their point of view, but you do have to consider it. Part of critical thinking is realizing just because you don’t like someone’s opinion does not mean they are wrong. Constructive dialogue requires you to suspend judgment, try to understand their assessment, and reach a consensus.

Change

Rethink – Critical thinkers do not accept the status quo. They challenge prevailing beliefs, uncover hidden agendas, and examine the rationale behind both. To accomplish this, embrace stretch assignments that force you out of your comfort zone. Intentionally work with colleagues from different departments, backgrounds, and cultures. This broadens your worldview, reveals your unconscious biases, and gives you new approaches to problem-solving.

Network – Get out of your organization and into your community. Attend industry conferences, roundtable discussions, and Special Interest Group (SIG) meetups. Engage in conversations with people who do what you do and people who use the products or services your organization provides. Get their feedback on what is going well for them as well as their pain points.

Learn

Educate – Getting a degree or certificate is a great accomplishment and it has an expiration date. To maintain your subject matter expertise, you have to learn a skill, use it, unlearn it, learn the new skill, use it, unlearn it, etc. To be a critical thinker, you must be adept at both gathering and integrating information from various sources of relevant and reliable data, pull key insights out of it, and test your conclusions. Regularly reflect on your choices. Think about your reasoning behind them. Consider the perspectives of those impacted by your decisions.

Fun – Engaging in activities that stimulate your mind also stimulate critical thinking. For example, reading a work of fiction while concurrently reading a work of non-fiction, attending non-work related workshops, doing Sudoku or crossword puzzles. Team bonding events where the goal is to relax and get to know one another help build the trust necessary to accept diverse viewpoints when it’s time to problem solve. When you are emotionally invested in someone, you want to collaborate with them.

For example: Let’s say you become known for asking good questions, thoughtfully listening, taking on stretch assignments, presenting at SIGs, and starting your organization’s leadership development book club. These all set you up to be an influencer who contributes innovative ideas, correctly analyzes complex issues, and makes informed decisions. Critical thinking makes you a valuable asset to any organization.

How do you demonstrate your critical thinking on the job? Please share in the comments.

Under the Influence

Coworkers and managers influence your decisions. They have plans for you, but do their expectations align with your values, skills, and goals? Influence is a powerful tool that shapes your organization’s decisions, strategies, and culture. As a leader, it’s essential to intentionally decide whom you allow to influence you, but how?

Who You Are Looking For

Stay away from influencers who are negative, office politicians, cynical, and toxic. Look for people who ooze credibility, integrity, and reliability. Seek out people whose life experiences and ideas are different from yours. Surround yourself with individuals who encourage, inspire, and interact with everyone; not just those who can help them get ahead. You want to follow leaders who are committed to building a healthy and productive workplace environment. These may be colleagues with seniority, peers with specialized knowledge, or direct reports whose work ethic you admire.

What You Want From Them

You need influencers who will offer guidance, provide valuable insights, and exert a positive influence on your leadership style. These are not people who tell you what you want to hear. They both challenge and uplift you. They are accountability partners who spark your mutual growth. Align yourself with individuals who tell you the truth in love. You can identify them by the way they ask you questions then allow you space to rethink your opinions. These types of leaders are busy people. Relentlessly respect their time and find ways to bring value to the relationship.

Boundaries

It’s tricky to collaborate as a member of a team and complete your own assignments and avoid becoming a doormat. To maintain this delicate balance, you have to diplomatically manage both your supervisors’ and coworkers’ influence.

Set: Do you have time to complete your report and help your coworker prep for their client meeting? Be realistic about your own workload and deadlines. Does your team share calendars? Can they see when you are busy and vice versa? It is better to be unexpectedly available than to withdraw the help you said you’d give.

Communicate: As Brene Brown says, “Clear is kind. Unclear is unkind.” When you receive requests for help, first express your willingness to collaborate then email your manager and copy the requestor. Ask for clarity on whose project has priority in terms of what is best for the organization. If your manager decides your input is crucial to the project your teammate is working on, and that means you will miss a deadline on your own work, then ask what the new deadline for your own work is.

Protect: When prioritizing someone else’s project benefits you, your teammate, and your company, then it makes sense to move your boundary. But there is always that one person (let’s call them: TOP) who repeatedly asks for help until that task you do for them becomes part of your job description. Every time TOP asks for help, ask yourself: What is TOP’s track record for getting their own work done? Does what TOP wants me to do directly impact our organization’s bottom line? Will this project make me more visible to management and/or clients? Politely decline TOP’s invitation to do their work when the additional task conflicts with your current commitments or if it’s outside the scope of your responsibilities. It’s okay to offer guidance, share your expertise, and encourage problem-solving, but avoid taking on TOP’s tasks. For example, if TOP asks you for prospects, invite them to look at your LinkedIn contacts, filter for their target, and find people they want introductions to. If TOP persists, redirect them to your manager.

What criteria do you use to decide whom you allow to influence you? Please share in the comments.

Toil and Trouble

This is part three of four in the series: Independently Owned and Operated.

Owning the consequences of your decisions is a cornerstone of successful leadership. It is a necessary step on the path of career advancement. But what about owning the consequences of decisions you did not make? What do you do when trouble finds you?

Responsibility

Everyone has hurdles, setbacks, and challenges. Some you bring on yourself. Plenty of others stem from external factors beyond your control. These are the moments your true character is revealed. However the challenge began, taking responsibility for the outcome indicates you are a resilient and self-aware leader. When you take responsibility for solving a problem you did not create, your colleagues see that you are committed to overcoming the challenge rather than blame the cause of it. And your managers see they can rely on you to address trouble head-on no matter where it comes from. Habitually handling trouble this way helps you generate the trust and transparency necessary for a collaborative and productive work environment.

Accountability

In a fast-paced work environment, errors occur despite your best intentions and planning. It is how you respond to these mistakes that defines your commitment to ownership. Rather than deflecting blame or making excuses, being accountable demonstrates you are willing to learn and grow from the experience. Maybe your project is plagued by unforeseen obstacles. Maybe that sparks tension among your team members. Maybe this sets in motion a series of unfortunate events beyond your control. You may be tempted to play the victim or act out in frustration. Instead, acknowledge the trouble and own the current reality. It empowers you to reclaim control of the situation and enlist your coworkers’ help in overcoming the obstacle. When the crisis is fixed dwell on what happened just long enough to identify any lessons you can learn from it. Seek feedback from both your team and stakeholders. Combine what you learn about the problem, solution, and result. Leverage the input to set a trigger to prevent that particular trouble from tripping the team up in the future. Owning the results helps you develop a mindset of continuous improvement.

Integrity

Owning accountability for results requires the emotional intelligence to both accept praise when things go well and shoulder the burden when they don’t. Learning from trouble requires humility and a willingness to confront your shortcomings with honesty and ethical conduct. Ethical dilemmas are everywhere in the workplace. Your team’s competing interests and values are constantly colliding. Business moves at the speed of trust. You, your managers, and your coworkers must be able to trust each other in order to get anything done. When faced with trouble of this sort, draw on your principles of empathy, fairness, and respect. Do not compromise your values for a short-term gain. It may be uncomfortable to stand firm in the face of conflict, but integrity is a non-negotiable aspect of professional conduct. It lays the foundation for your long-term success as a leader.

What do you do when trouble finds you at work? Please share in the comments.

Genuine Connection

One of the most valuable resources for your professional growth is the wisdom and experience of Subject Matter Experts (SME). But approaching them requires respect and authenticity. A cold email with Can I Pick Your Brain? as the subject line makes you look lazy right off the bat. Let’s explore a strategic framework for reaching out that will lead to meaningful interactions and genuine connections.

Propose

Both you and the SME know you are asking them for a favor, so acknowledge that upfront with politeness and in-advance gratitude. For example, instead of using Can I pick your brain? as the subject line, substitute it with May I Learn from Your Experience? or May I Have Your Perspective? Then immediately after the greeting, clearly articulate why you’re reaching out. What specific insights do you want and why do you think this person can give them to you? Are you navigating a challenging project? Do you need to understand industry trends? Are you seeking career guidance? Describe their expertise that prompted you to reach out, then state what you will bring to the interaction. Emphasize the mutual benefits of connecting. For example, you can publish a post about what you learn from your conversation with them on your social media platforms and tag them. By framing the discussion as a two-way street, you position yourself as someone who values collaboration and is committed to adding value to their work.

Pregame

SMEs put content out into the world to test its resonance. Most are open to both feedback and discussion. But if your ask is vague or too open-ended, your SME won’t be able to meaningfully contribute to your development. Prepare a set of targeted questions that align with your goals and challenges. Include a couple in your cold email and request a meeting to obtain the SME’s answers. Set a flexible deadline for your request. For example ask, “Would you have time in the next two weeks to answer those questions and, depending on your answers, maybe one or two follow up questions?” Being upfront about your intentions shows you are mindful of the SME’s time and sets the stage for a focused and productive conversation. Giving the SME time to process your request before you meet is more likely to yield actionable advice.

Prepare

Nothing conveys sincerity more than establishing you’ve done your homework. Get familiar with their background, accomplishments, and any recent contributions they’ve made to their industry. In your cold email, reference specific aspects of their work that resonate with you. Before reaching out, follow them on LinkedIn and react and/or comment on their posts. This showcases your genuine interest in their expertise and signals that you pay attention to their work. SMEs are inundated with meeting requests. Offer to meet in person, to arrange a 20 – 30 minute videoconference, or to send them an email with a list of three to five questions they can answer at their convenience. Consideration of their time increases the likelihood of a positive response. It takes practice and follow up, but mastering the art of seeking advice from SMEs can be a game-changer in your professional journey.

Do you seek advice from strangers you admire? How do you ask them for it? Please share in the comments.

Your Top 12

Thank you for spending 2023 with me! As we begin a new year together, here are the top three articles in each category: Time, Energy, Attention, and Money (T.E.A.M.), based on the most views.

Time

Energy

Money

I appreciate you discussing these topics with me in 2023. I hope you found them useful. There are more in store for 2024!

What decisions around time, energy, attention, and money are you facing in the new year? Please share in the comments.

Prognostications

The workforce spent 2023 dealing with disruptions. Unions on strike, the influence of ArtIficial Intelligence (AI), mass layoffs, and too many more to list here. Relationships between employers and employees can be challenging under the best conditions. Throw in a wrinkle like negotiating remote/hybrid business models and soon you are managing change more than you are serving customers. With 2024 rapidly approaching, what issues should you pay attention to?

Remote and Hybrid

The seismic shift towards remote work that began as a temporary fix to keep businesses open during COVID-19 is here to stay.

Employers: Invest in tools that secure data and facilitate seamless collaboration across geographically dispersed teams. For example, Microsoft Teams, Slack, Basecamp, etc.

Employees: Hone your digital communication skills and set up a remote workspace conducive to this new work environment. For example, adequate lighting, a neutral background, and a quality headset for videoconferencing.

Upskilling and Reskilling

Normalize continuous learning. Technology renders some skills obsolete and creates demand for new ones faster than you think. AI is a great example.

Employers: Provide training to help your workforce collaborate effectively with AI.

Employees: Acquire a basic understanding of AI and identify ways to leverage it in your role. LinkedIn Learning has some great courses. They are free if you have a Dayton Metro Library card.

And don’t forget the importance of soft skills, or what I like to call, power skills.

Employers: Positively reinforce qualities like emotional intelligence, adaptability, empathy, and effective communication in your workforce.

Employees: Develop those power skills mentioned above. They will enhance your individual performance and make your work environment more positive and collaborative.

DEIB

Diversity, equity, inclusion, and belonging (DEIB) are no longer just buzzwords. They are critical components of a thriving workplace.

Employers: Prioritize DEIB initiatives. They not only foster a culture of innovation in your organization, they also help you reach new customers.

Employees: Volunteer to be on project teams whose members do not look like you.

Well-being

There is a link between a healthy, engaged workforce and overall business success.

Employers: Offer initiatives like mental health support, flexible work hours, and wellness programs in your employee benefits package.

Employees: If your employer does not offer such initiatives, then prioritize work-life integration, set boundaries, and communicate openly to your manager about your well-being.

Gig Economy

You know the gig economy is a thing when the IRS has a Gig Economy Tax Center page on its website. Understanding how to navigate and thrive in the gig economy is a valuable skill for both employers and employees.

Employers: Tap into the gig economy to access specialized skills on a project by project basis.

Employees: Embrace the freedom and autonomy it affords and check the employee handbook for the rules around moonlighting.

Ethics

Corporate social responsibility and environmental sustainability are no longer optional. Employees are increasingly seeking employers who align with their values and contribute positively to society.

Employers: Integrate sustainability practices into your operations to attract the talent you need.

Employees: Consider the moral and social impact of your organization’s actions. It has a direct impact on the culture of your workplace.

Technology advancements and societal changes are constants every year. A heightened awareness of the importance of a holistic approach to work is a recent transformation that will continue in 2024. The trick for both employers and employees is how to use these trends to drive success both for your organization and your team.

What 2024 trends did I miss? Please share in the comments.