Mardi Humphreys

Quarterly Contemplation

Reflection isn’t just about looking back. It’s about using the insights you discover to build a better future. When you assess what went well, where you struggled, and what you need to change, you can head into the second quarter of the year with clarity and purpose. Reflections are a powerful way to rest, reset, and refocus. Here are some prompts to get you reflecting on the work you did during the last three months.

How did I contribute to my team’s success?

Assess your collaboration. What strengths did you use? How can you better leverage them? What areas for continuous improvement presented themselves? For example, if you were instrumental in keeping a remote team connected, you may want to focus on expanding your leadership skills.

Who supported me and how can I express gratitude?

Make a list of the people who made your life easier. How did they do it? For example, did they introduce you to one of their connections who is now a potential client? Invest in your key professional relationships by acknowledging those who helped you. A quick thank-you email or LinkedIn endorsement can go a long way.

How does my work align with my long-term career goals?

Confirm you’re moving in the right direction. How does your current role support your aspirations? If it doesn’t, small changes, like taking on stretch assignments, can get you on track.

What skills do I need to stay relevant in my field?

Be a life-long learner. Technology accelerates every industry and keeping up with it is mandatory. What are one or two skills, like learning a new software tool or improving your public speaking, you’d like to learn? Identify competencies that could significantly impact your career trajectory.

Did I set boundaries effectively?

Evaluate your work-life integration. It’s crucial for long-term productivity. What boundaries did you set and maintain, like unplugging after work or saying no to non-essential tasks? Adjusting your approach can help prevent burnout.

What relationships did I build?

Nurture your network. Relationships are essential for career growth. Whom did you meet that connected you with a valuable opportunity? Whom did you support by introducing them to a resource? Plan to reach out to at least one loose-tie contact next month.

What are my goals for Q2?

Plan for the future. What do you want to achieve in the next three months? Get out your Atta Baby! folder. Did the compliment come from completing an assignment you enjoyed? How can you get another one of those? Doing work you enjoy helps you stay motivated.

Next Steps

Schedule quarterly check-ins with yourself to revisit your goals and progress. Treat these like personal performance reviews to stay accountable.
Enroll in a LinkedIn Learning course or an in-person workshop to address a specific skill gap.
Set up a system, like a weekly reflection habit, to keep your goals top of mind.
Celebrate your progress. Acknowledge incremental improvements as wins. It keeps you motivated and reinforces your positive habits.

What prompts do you suggest? Please share in the comments.

Normalize Uncertainty

At work, some of the biggest stressors: Should you take a new job? Should you ask for a raise? Should you choose a different direction for this project? boil down to the same challenge: committing to one path and letting go of the others. That’s why it feels hard. If you’re still holding on to every possible option, you haven’t made a decision. And while keeping your options open feels safe, it keeps you stuck.

For Example: Let’s say you’re a marketing manager leading a product launch. You have three possible campaigns: one focused on social media, one on influencer partnerships, and one on email marketing. Instead of committing to one, you keep tweaking all three. The launch date creeps closer, but you don’t finalize a direction. The result? Your scattered approach dilutes the launch’s impact. If you don’t make the decision, reality will. Deadlines will rush your efforts or leadership will step in and decide for you. Either way, avoiding the decision doesn’t make things easier. It just adds stress.

Never Enough

No matter how much research you do before making a decision you’ll never have 100% certainty about the outcome. In his book, It Worked for Me: In Life and Leadership by Colin Powell with Tony Koltz, retired General Colin Powell suggested making decisions when you have 40–70% of the information you need. Because waiting longer often means missing the opportunity altogether. If you’re considering a job offer but waiting for absolute certainty it’s the right move, then the offer may expire or a competitor may take the role.

For Example: Let’s say you’re a senior data analyst debating whether to implement a new reporting system. You will never know all the possible outcomes in advance. But you can gather key details: cost, integration time, team workload, then make the best choice with the information you have.

Change Feels Hard, Indecision Feels Worse

One reason decisions feel difficult is because they involve change. Humans naturally resist change until the discomfort of staying the same outweighs the discomfort of doing something different.

For Example: Let’s say you stick to manual research instead of using AI to speed up data gathering because the switch feels overwhelming. Then you find your workload without AI increasing and your competitors who do use AI are moving faster. Suddenly you are behind and need to catch up. At that point, the pain of resisting AI becomes greater than the pain of adapting.

Avoiding a Decision IS a Decision

Not choosing is still choosing. If you don’t decide whether to ask for a raise, you’re deciding to keep your current salary. If you don’t choose between two career paths, you’re letting your current trajectory continue by default. When you actively make a choice, you take control. When you let decisions happen to you, then you’re at the mercy of circumstances.

Make the Decision then Make the Decision Work

Instead of fixating on whether you made the perfect decision, focus on moving forward. If you decide to take a job, focus on excelling at it. If you ask for a raise, be prepared to justify it with your accomplishments. If you choose a project direction, back it with execution, not second-guessing. That’s how progress happens.

How do you make decisions? Please share in the comments.

Get SMART

I’m a fan of S.M.A.R.T. (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-bound) goals. They were introduced in the November 1981 issue of Management Review by George T. Doran in his article, “There’s a S.M.A.R.T. Way to Write Management’s Goals and Objectives.” Forty-four years later, are they still effective?

Why S.M.A.R.T. Goals Still Matter

Focus: Without a clear objective, it’s easy to get distracted or overwhelmed. S.M.A.R.T. goals define what success looks like for you.
Motivation: A deadline creates urgency. When goals are specific and time-bound, you’re more likely to take action rather than procrastinate.
Measurability: If you can’t track it, you can’t improve it. Measurable goals ensure you recognize progress and adjust when needed.
Achievability: Setting goals that stretch you but are still possible prevents burnout and frustration.
Versatility: Whether you’re managing time, switching careers, or improving work-life integration, S.M.A.R.T. goals help you navigate challenges by providing structure and clarity. You don’t have to overhaul your entire approach overnight. Small, consistent steps will lead to big results over time. Let’s look at these three common situations and how S.M.A.R.T. goals get results.

Managing Your Workload

Do you struggle with an overwhelming number of tasks? A vague goal like “be more productive” doesn’t help. Instead, apply the S.M.A.R.T. method:

Specific – “Reduce the number of unfinished tasks at the end of each week by prioritizing three key tasks daily.”
Measurable – Use a spreadsheet (or a task management App) to track completed vs. pending tasks.
Achievable – Ensure the three tasks are realistic given your workload.
Relevant – Align your priorities with your role’s most important deliverables.
Time-bound – Set a four-week deadline to evaluate whether this approach is improving your productivity.
Immediate Action – Start tomorrow by identifying three priority tasks for the day and reviewing your progress at the end of the week.

Navigating a Career Transition

Are you aiming for a promotion or switching industries? A vague goal like “find a better job” doesn’t lead to results. Try this:

Specific – “Apply to 10 roles in my target field and schedule two networking conversations per month.”
Measurable – Keep track of your job search on a spreadsheet to monitor applications, interviews, and responses.
Achievable – Target companies where your skills match at least 70% of the job requirements.
Relevant – Ensure these steps align with your career aspirations.
Time-bound – Set a three-month deadline to secure interviews and reassess your strategy if needed.
Immediate Action – Spend 30 minutes today identifying job roles that align with your career goals and updating your LinkedIn profile.

Work-Life Integration

Does work spill into your personal time? Setting boundaries requires a concrete plan. A vague goal like “work less” doesn’t stop you from working less. Try making it a S.M.A.R.T goal:

Specific – “Log off by 6:30 PM at least four days a week and avoid checking emails after hours.”
Measurable – Use a time-tracking App to monitor your work hours.
Achievable – Start with four days a week instead of aiming for a full work-life overhaul at once.
Relevant – This goal aligns with maintaining mental well-being while still being effective at work.
Time-bound – Reassess in six weeks to see if you’re more recharged and productive.
Immediate Action – Set an end-of-day reminder on your calendar to log off at your designated time today.

What’s one goal you can refine into a S.M.A.R.T. goal today? Please share in the comments.

Wave Goodbye

You’ve spent years building your career, learning new skills, and proving yourself at work. Despite your efforts, promotions pass you by, your work goes unnoticed, and you struggle to find a sponsor who will advocate for you. Should you stay and keep grinding, or is it time to move on?

You have a steady paycheck so it’s tempting to stay put and the fear of wasting your past efforts can keep you stuck. There is a name for this fear. It’s called the sunk cost fallacy. You hesitate to quit because you’ve invested so heavily in this career. But the reality is your past investment is gone. The only decision that matters is whether your future investment of more time and effort is likely to pay off.

How To Know

Promotions: You’re consistently refused advancement even when you exceed expectations. You receive good performance reviews, but leadership passes you over for less experienced colleagues.

Sponsorship: No one in leadership advocates for you. Your requests for a seat at the table are denied. No one brings you up for high-visibility projects in rooms you are not in. Without internal support your career growth is limited.

Value: You take on high-impact projects, but your contributions are undervalued, dismissed, or worse, credited to someone else.

Progression: Your path to development is blocked. When you ask about career growth with the organization you get vague answers or are told to “be patient.”

Autopilot: A single bad year doesn’t mean it’s time to quit, but If you’re no longer challenged or learning, then you’re just wasting time.

How to Reframe

Mindset: Shift from feeling like a failure to believing that your sunk cost is the tuition you paid for future success.

Evergreen: Your experience is not wasted. If you change jobs or even your career path, then your skills, knowledge, and relationships will still benefit you.

Recover: You don’t have to earn back your investment in the same place. If you’re underpaid or undervalued, staying won’t magically fix that. You can earn lost money back in a better role.

How to Avoid

Goals: Set clear career goals. Think about what your next level is and evaluate whether your job is helping you get there.

Track: Keep a record of your achievements and impact. This is your “Atta Baby!” folder. It is the file you keep on your desktop with all the documentation of the praise, recognition, and thank you emails you receive. Its purpose is to help you advocate for promotions and negotiate future opportunities.

Assess: Every six months, ask yourself: Am I growing? Am I being recognized? Am I satisfied? If not, adjust your course before your trajectory feels stunted.

Plan: If you realize your job is a dead end, don’t quit impulsively. Strategically plan your exit.

How to Prepare

Network: Connect with industry peers, attend events, and reach out to former colleagues. The best opportunities often come through relationships, especially weak ties, not job boards.

Upskill: While you’re still employed take online courses, get certifications, or volunteer at a nonprofit organization where you can work on projects that build the skills you need for your next role.

Money: Build a financial cushion so you don’t feel pressured to take the first offer that comes along.

What have you done to move past your sunk costs? Please share in the comments.

Start Me Up

Last week while talking about how to deal with some possible repercussions when you set boundaries around your time at work, I made this statement: “The workplace rewards immediate responses and multitasking. (BTW, multitasking is a myth. Do NOT get me started.)” A few subscribers took that as a challenge and, well, here we are. It’s been five years since we talked about multitasking. Let’s revisit this topic and see what’s changed.

What Hasn’t Changed

Multitasking feels like you’re getting more done, but research shows the opposite. When you switch rapidly between tasks, your brain struggles to maintain focus, which not only degrades the quality of your work over time, but also negatively impacts your mental health.

The brain’s working memory is like a mental clipboard, temporarily storing information as you work. When you constantly switch tasks, you don’t give your brain enough time to process and properly store that information. Research from the American Psychological Association indicates constant interruptions reduce working memory capacity, ultimately impairing learning and the ability to retain crucial information.

For example, let’s say you’re updating an inventory report while also handling a customer’s question over the phone. Your fragmented attention means not only do you struggle to answer the customer’s question to their satisfaction, but you may mess up the inventory report too.

It isn’t just about errors. Multitasking has a significant impact on your physical and mental well-being. When you try to multitask throughout the day you experience higher levels of cortisol, the body’s stress hormone, which raises your blood pressure. The cumulative stress from constant task switching can lead to chronic anxiety, reduced job satisfaction, and physical health issues.

So, it’s important to understand the trade-offs. While multitasking seems to boost your productivity, studies show the brain’s constant task switching actually results in slowing your productivity because it impedes your attention and comprehension. When you concentrate on one task at a time, you get more done, reduce errors, and improve the overall quality of your work.

What Has

Multitasking often involves you responding to notifications from email, instant messaging, and phone calls while working on a project. Some tech companies acknowledged this challenge and introduced tools designed specifically to help you focus. Apple’s Focus Mode, Windows 11’s Focus Assist, Slack’s “Do Not Disturb” settings, and Microsoft Teams’ quiet time features make it easier to protect your deep work sessions. These tools aren’t magic bullets. They require discipline. But when used consistently, they help create an environment where distractions are minimized allowing for more sustained concentration and better quality work. Even a short period of uninterrupted focus leads to measurable improvement in your efficiency and job satisfaction.

Strategies to Reduce Negative Impact

Eliminate: In addition to using focus-assisting tools, turn off non-essential notifications or set your workspace to “do not disturb” mode during critical work periods.

Prioritize: Start each workday by identifying the single most important task that will drive your work forward and do it. Make it non-negotiable.

Establish: Set expectations with colleagues about response times. For example, designate specific hours for checking emails rather than reacting immediately.

Adopt: Moving away from multitasking isn’t just about getting more work done. It’s about producing higher quality output while maintaining your mental and physical health. Adopting a monotasking mindset makes you more productive and your work environment less stressful.

What works for you? Please share in the comments.

The Priority the Sequel

After last week’s discussion around framing time management as self-respect, I received some good questions: “What do I do about the guilt I feel for saying no?” “What do I do about pushback?” “What if I miss out on a golden opportunity?” Let’s explore some answers.

Guilt

You may feel guilty about declining tasks or invitations to join project teams because you worry saying no will make you appear unhelpful or it will damage your relationships with your managers. But saying yes to everything spreads your energy too thin and makes you less effective in the tasks that are important.

Try: Shift your mindset. Saying no to low-priority work isn’t about avoiding responsibility. It’s about ensuring you contribute your best work to what really matters. Intentionally prioritize tasks based on their impact on your organization’s mission and their alignment with your role.

For example: If a team lead asks you to sit in on a meeting that doesn’t directly involve your work, you might say, “I’d love to help where I can. Will you please send me a summary of the key takeaways instead? That way, I can focus on my current deadlines while staying informed.” This approach keeps you engaged without overloading your schedule.

Pushback

The workplace rewards immediate responses and multitasking. (BTW, multitasking is a myth. Do NOT get me started.) This makes it difficult to set boundaries. When you start managing your time more effectively, you will face resistance from coworkers and/or managers who expect you to be available at all times.

Try: Set clear, realistic expectations with your team. If you need uninterrupted time to focus on deep work, then proactively communicate. For example, when you’re working on a report let your team know you’ll be offline for two hours and will check messages afterward.

For example: If a manager frequently assigns last-minute tasks, try saying, “I can take this on, but it will push back my other deadlines. Which task would you like me to prioritize?” This puts the decision back in their hands while reinforcing that your time is limited.

FOMO

You overcommit because you worry turning something down may mean missing a career-changing opportunity. Some opportunities are time-sensitive, but saying yes to everything prevents you from focusing on what best aligns with your long-term goals.

Try: Get clear on your priorities. If an opportunity excites you but doesn’t align with your goals, it may not be the right one.

For example: If you’re invited to join an extra project that sounds interesting but doesn’t directly contribute to your career path, you could say, “This sounds like a great initiative! Right now, I need to focus on my core projects, but I’d love to be considered for similar opportunities in the future.” This keeps the door open while ensuring you don’t overextend yourself.

Experiments

Before accepting a meeting request, ask for an agenda. If there isn’t one, ask what’s expected of you. If they can’t define your role, the meeting may be an email.
Limit open-ended commitments. If someone asks for help, instead of saying, “Sure, I can do that,” try, “I have time for a quick 15-minute call, would that help?” This keeps your contribution focused.
At the end of each workday, take a moment to evaluate: What did I accomplish today? What tasks drained my time unnecessarily? What changes can I make tomorrow to work more efficiently? Reflection ensures you continuously refine your time management approach based on what’s working and what isn’t.

How do you deal with workplace boundary encroachments? Please share in the comments.

The Priority

Meetings pile up, emails flood in, and by the end of the workday, you’ve spent more time reacting than making intentional choices. What if managing your time Isn’t just about productivity? What if it’s an act of self-respect?

The Reasoning

Value: When you prioritize your schedule, you send a message that your time is valuable and should be used purposefully. Research from ScienceDirect.com shows that people who set clear boundaries around their time experience greater job satisfaction and overall well-being.

Self-Care: Just like you care for your physical health by eating well and exercising, managing your time is a form of self-care. A study published in the Journal of Occupational Health Psychology found that employees who have control over their schedules experience lower stress levels and higher engagement.

Benefits

Better Mental Health: When you take control of your schedule, you reduce feelings of being overwhelmed. A report by the American Psychological Association found that time-related stress contributes significantly to burnout. By allocating time for work, rest, and personal activities, you maintain a healthier mental state.

Increased Job Satisfaction: Prioritizing tasks that align with your goals and values makes your work more meaningful. Research from Happy Companies indicates that employees who spend more time on meaningful tasks report higher job satisfaction and are more likely to stay engaged in their roles.

Stronger Sense of Self-Worth: Making deliberate choices about how you spend your time shows you believe your goals and well-being are important. This leads to greater confidence and resilience at work.

Prioritize

Review: At the beginning of each workday, take a few minutes to review and prioritize your tasks. Identify the top three most important things you want to get done and work on those first, preferably uninterrupted.

Technology: Use apps like digital calendars, task management tools, and reminders to keep track of your schedule and commitments. Tools like Asana, Trello, or even a spreadsheet can help you stay organized and focused.

Boundaries: Through status messages or direct conversations, communicate your availability to your coworkers and managers. Let them know the best times to reach you and when you need uninterrupted time to focus.

Rest: Schedule short breaks throughout your day to recharge. This not only boosts productivity but also respects your need for downtime. You may find The Pomodoro Technique useful. It suggests 25 minutes of work followed by a 5-minute break.

Calls to Action

Delegate: Thinking you have to do everything yourself is a trap. A study by the American Management Association found organizations who delegate well have a 30% increase in productivity. Learn to trust colleagues and delegate tasks that don’t require your direct involvement.

Say No: It’s hard to say no to projects you find attractive, but pause and assess whether a request aligns with your goals before committing. A 2024 study from Mental Health America found that professionals who confidently say no experience lower stress levels and higher job performance.

Manage Decision Fatigue: Decision fatigue is real, and it drains your mental energy. A study published in PNAS found that judges make less favorable rulings later in the day due to decision fatigue. The same thing applies to you. Automate minor decisions, like meal planning or outfit choices, to free up mental space for more important work-related decisions.

What’s one small change you can make today to respect your time? Please share in the comments.

The Bargain

A company you like has an open position you want. You had a discovery conversation with the hiring manager and you submitted your resume and cover letter. (It’s 2025, why are cover letters still a thing?! Please comment if you know.) It’s time to interview. They will tell you what they want from the new hire and you will tell them the conditions under which you’re willing to work. How can you make this negotiation productive for both you and your potential employer?

Reality Check

Let’s use the Tech Industry as an example. In terms of employment, it’s been volatile since the pandemic. Tons of people were hired in 2020, then big companies started letting tons of employees go in 2022 and those layoffs are still happening. Under these conditions, negotiating your compensation may feel intimidating. With companies regaining leverage, you need to enter the interview knowing what the state of the industry is and how that impacts the benefits you want. Here is an article that tells you how to research a company’s financial stability.

Research

Look up the market rates for similar roles in your location on PayScale, Salary.com, or Glassdoor. Define three numbers: The minimum salary you will accept, the ideal salary you’d be thrilled to get, and your walkaway number. Factor in personal costs. For example, what is your cost of living? What career growth opportunities will the employer offer? What are your work-life balance needs?

Salary

Most companies have a budget for each position, but they may not volunteer this information. It’s important to find out what they are willing to pay before you reveal any of your three numbers. When the hiring manager asks you how much money you want, try this response: “I’m open, but I’d love to understand the salary range you have in mind for this role.” This prevents you from lowballing yourself and gives you a baseline for negotiation. Once you know the range, push for the top. If they offer $90K–$110K, make a case for why you deserve $110K. Give illustrations of your experience, projects, and results. For example: for a Software Developer: “In my last role, I improved system performance by 30%, reducing downtime and saving the company an estimated $200K annually.”

Benefits

Compensation is more than a paycheck and benefits can make a huge difference in how attractive the job is. You also have to acknowledge that there will be tradeoffs. For example, if you push for a higher salary, then they may push for you to be in the office full-time. Consider negotiating for remote/hybrid work options, additional PTO, an upskilling budget, and/or equity or bonuses.

Mindset

Approach negotiation as a two-way conversation, not a battle. Filling this role is a challenge for the hiring manager. Act like the problem-solver you are by using “we” language. For example, “We want to ensure this is a strong long-term fit. Can we adjust the offer to reflect that?” By framing your requests as suggestions you signal your intent to help them achieve the result they want.

What other strategies do you use when negotiating compensation? Please share in the comments

Even Keeled

Last week we talked about how to become aware of our emotions, what triggers them, and how they affect our decision making. Now that you know what they are and why they happen, let’s talk about moving from self-awareness to self-regulation.

You Are in Charge

When you start to feel out of control, what can you do to get ahead of your emotions and constructively respond?

Pause – For example, you are tasked with removing the bottleneck from one of your organization’s workflows. You email the project manager an idea. The reply you receive is harshly critical and dismissive. What do you do? You want to fire off a defensive response. Instead, take a breath, step away, and revisit the email later. The pause gives your rational mind a chance to kick in.

Reset – When stress builds, your decision-making suffers. Techniques like deep breathing or a quick meditation can help in the moment. On days you have to make important decisions, take a break to move your body in addition to those tools. Even a short walk around the block can make a difference. Give yourself a 15-minute “reset break” to clear your mind.

Adapt – Asynchronous work environments demand flexibility. For example, a teammate’s delayed reply may derail your plan. When it does, remind yourself that staying open to new solutions helps maintain momentum in the long run.

Get Social

Strong relationships pave the way for problem-solving as well as career advancement. Building those relationships takes deliberate effort.

Communicate – For example, you’re on a video call with your team putting together an agenda for a client update and they are all distracted. Instead of letting your annoyance show, try saying, “I’d love everyone’s input on this. What else do we want the client to know that I don’t have on this list?” Inviting engagement respectfully can shift the tone of the meeting.

Share – Teams thrive when credit is shared. If you’re leading a project, make it a habit to highlight contributions from teammates, even in small ways like Slack shout-outs.

Learn – Disagreements happen. It’s how you handle them that matters. Focus on solutions instead of assigning blame. For example, if someone misses a deadline, instead of saying, “You messed up,” try, “Let’s figure out how to avoid this in the future.”

Support – If you notice a team member struggling with a task, offer to be a resource. A small gesture, like volunteering to review their work, shows commitment to the team’s success.

Galvanize – Even when projects get messy, a positive outlook can help your team keep going. For example, if a new tool isn’t working as expected, reframing the setback as a learning opportunity can keep morale from plummeting.

Practice – Start with one small action each day. For example, pause before replying to an irritating email or ask a colleague how they’re feeling before diving into work. Over time, these habits become second nature.

Next Steps

Remember the emotion log you kept last week? Pull it out. Knowing what you know now, how do you wish you would have responded in those situations? Now you have an option to experiment with the next time those triggers go off. Here are a few ideas to maintain your progress.

Reflect – Spend five minutes at the end of each workday reviewing your emotional responses and interactions. If there is something you wish you’d done differently, make a note of it. If you responded instead of reacted to a trigger, pat yourself on the back.

Experiment – Try one self-regulation technique during a challenging moment. For example, box breathe, or silently count to three before speaking. Find what works best for maintaining your composure.

Ask – Request feedback from a trusted colleague on how you handle stress during collaboration. This is a private conversation maybe over coffee.

How do you self-regulate to function better at work? Please share in the comments.

Control Yourself

Self-awareness is critical to your success at work, but it’s only the beginning. You must move beyond self-awareness to self-regulation so you can develop stronger relationships and make better decisions under pressure. Being self-aware means you understand what emotions you’re experiencing and why in the moment. In this first article of a two-parter, let’s think about how to recognize your emotions, what triggers them, and how they affect your decision making.

Recognize Your Emotions

Do you feel your patience evaporate when someone schedules yet another meeting at 4:30 p.m.? Or maybe your stress spikes when you’re asked to present in front of leadership. These reactions are normal, but not recognizing them means you’ll likely let them dictate your behavior over and over again. Try keeping an emotion log for a week. After intense reactions, jot down what you felt, what triggered it, and how you responded. Your goal is data capture. At this point, you aren’t trying to change anything. You’re seeking clarity.

Listen to Your Body

Your body often signals your emotions before your mind processes them. For example, clenched fists may signal frustration, or a tight feeling in your chest can indicate anxiety. When your heart races during a tense one-on-one with your manager, this is a physical cue. Remind yourself to pause, breathe, and do not respond impulsively. If your shoulders tense every time a particular coworker emails you, then take a moment to analyze why. Are you anticipating conflict? Understanding this pattern can help you approach your reply calmly.

Understand Your Triggers

How do you feel when your coworker interrupts you during brainstorming sessions? What about when a teammate takes credit for your work during a presentation? Does your head hurt when your manager abruptly shifts deadlines or priorities without explanation? Does receiving vague feedback on a high-stakes project haunt you for days? If you recognize the patterns in your behavior, then you can prevent your frustration from making bad decisions for you during critical interactions. Knowing your triggers lets you plan responses instead of reactions.

Get Perspective

Feedback from colleagues can uncover blind spots. You expect to get feedback from your manager, but you probably won’t get it from your teammates unless you ask. For example, if your tech lead thinks you seem dismissive when you disagree with them, that is something you want to know. You need to become aware of how your unintentional reactions affect those around you. Once you are, you can adjust your tone and body language during your conversations. If you don’t have a work bestie you trust to tell you the truth, you can use personality assessments like StrengthsFinder or Enneagram to discover your natural tendencies.

Reflect on Your Reactions

Look back at that emotion log you kept for a week. The data you collected states what you felt, the trigger, and how you responded. Now, ask yourself why you responded that way in those situations. For example, if you felt anxiety during a meeting, the trigger was a shortened deadline, and your response was raising your voice, ask yourself: “Why did I respond that way?” Maybe the answer is tight deadlines bring out your impatience. Since tight deadlines are going to keep happening, think about how you can handle similar situations more constructively. Over time identifying your patterns will not only help you identify similar emotions in real time, but also help you control them. Keep your emotion log this week and next week we’ll talk about some constructive ways to regulate them.

What emotion do you feel most while at work? Please share in the comments.