The Struggle

I was watching one of my shows when a scene made me put my phone down. In this episode, three characters were zipped into body bags. They were all fully conscious, panicking, and trying to break free. Two of them managed to wriggle out. One rushed to help the third, who was still trapped and understandably losing it. But the first character stopped him with: “Don’t deny her, her struggle.”

Why shouldn’t you help someone who’s trapped? But the more I thought about it, the more it made sense. That zipped-up body bag was like a cocoon. And sometimes the struggle is the very thing that prepares you for what comes next. A caterpillar doesn’t become a butterfly because it’s wrapped in silk. It becomes a butterfly because it fights its way out. That pressure, that effort, strengthens the wings. If you slice the cocoon open to help, the butterfly may emerge too weak to survive. 

The Problem

We may have ergonomic chairs and Slack reminders, but we’re no different. We built lives that are climate-controlled, overfed, and underchallenged. Ironically, excessive comfort is often the thing that makes work feel harder, burnout hit faster, and decision-making foggy.

The Solution

Intentional, manageable, chosen discomfort is the solution because struggle builds capacity. And you need capacity to handle the emergencies, the inbox avalanches, and the tough decisions that shape your career.

The Struggle Makes You Sharper

Burnout isn’t always too much work: When everything is repetitive, nothing feels meaningful. You feel drained without knowing why. If you never stretch yourself, your brain gets restless. Restlessness turns into irritation. Irritation snowballs into burnout. A little struggle wakes your brain up. Taking on a project you’re not 100% sure how to do. Leading a meeting you would normally avoid. Saying, “I can try,” instead of “I’m not ready.” You grow from pushing the edges of your ability.

It builds resilience before you need it: Work is unpredictable. Deadlines shift. Projects pile up. Decisions land on your laptop without warning. When you practice handling small discomforts, you build the capacity you’ll need during bigger moments. Think of it as low-risk training. The kind you control. The kind that strengthens you without overwhelming you.

Self-doubt shrinks: Self-doubt thrives in comfort. When you never attempt anything uncertain, your brain assumes you can’t. When you avoid challenges, the avoidance becomes your identity. But when you do something you weren’t sure you could do like ask the question in the meeting, hit send on the draft, take the lead on the small project, you rewrite your internal script. Your confidence doesn’t grow because everything goes perfectly. It grows because you showed up anyway. Kelly Clarkson is right: What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.

Choose the (Slightly) Harder Path

• Do the first uncomfortable step: Take five minutes and draft the email or make the phone call or write the outline. Don’t commit to finishing. Just start.

• Protect one boundary this week: Pick something simple like a meeting you decline, or a time block you keep. Practice standing firm with kindness.

• Ask one question you’re afraid to ask: In a meeting, in a 1:1, or in a project kickoff. Curiosity builds competence. It shows you’re engaged, thoughtful, and willing to learn.

• Pause before reacting: Practice sitting with discomfort before you react. When you feel defensive, overwhelmed, or impatient take one beat before you say or do anything. Let the feeling sharpen you, not steer you. Tiny moments of space builds emotional strength relatively quickly.

How do you challenge yourself to get uncomfortable? Please share in the comments.