If you constantly compare yourself to others, you chase a standard that shifts every time you get close. There’s always someone getting promoted faster, managing bigger projects, or getting more recognition than you. If you measure yourself by their successes, you’ll never feel like you’re enough.
And here’s the kicker: You likely judge yourself not by what others actually think, but by what you assume they think. You guess what your manager values. You assume your team sees you falling behind. You imagine that everyone else is operating at peak performance all the time. But that’s not real. And it’s not useful.
Flip Your Focus
The next time you compare yourself to a more successful coworker, try shifting your attention inward. Instead of asking, “Am I as successful as they are?” Ask yourself:
- Am I better today than I was yesterday?
- Did I learn something new?
- Did I make a meaningful contribution?
That paradigm shift matters. Success is an external measure. It can be valuable information, but don’t let it define you. Use your success metrics like data. What are they telling you?
For example: Let’s say one of your Key Performance Indicators (KPIs) is the number of client accounts you manage. You’re under target by 10%. That doesn’t automatically mean you’re failing. Dig into it. Maybe you’ve been onboarding new clients. That work doesn’t count toward the metric but it still matters.
Use Your KPIs
Reframe the way you think about your KPIs. They aren’t a report card. They’re not a moral judgment. They’re tools. It’s easy to tie your identity to your outputs. But you don’t control every variable. You can’t make a customer sign a contract. You can’t force a stakeholder to give faster feedback. You can’t make a product ship before it’s ready.
But you can control your own actions: How many new leads did you contact today? How many blockers did you resolve on that project? How many updates did you send to keep others aligned? Those are behaviors you own. They compound. They create momentum.
When your KPIs aren’t where you want them, think about what needs to change. What’s missing or unclear? What habits or inputs can you adjust?
On the other hand, when they are where you want them to be, think about what’s working. Can you replicate it? Is this a system worth sharing with your team?
Your Progress
Instead of measuring success by comparing yourself to your coworkers, try measuring your progress. For example:
- Do you have more connections than you did last month?
- Did you reach out to more clients this week than last?
- Did you lead a better meeting today than you did last week?
If so, you’re growing. That’s the measure that counts. Aim for getting 1% better every day. You get to decide what success looks like for you.
Your Future
Success is about the past. It’s what you did. But the past is over and you can’t change it without a DeLorean, a working flux capacitor, and plutonium. So, concentrate on today and tomorrow. You can’t control the future, but you can influence it. The way you manage your calendar today, the decisions you make in this meeting, the effort you bring to this email; all those actions shape what tomorrow will look like.
What is your measure of success? Please share in the comments.