Photo by MIXU
When I have a negative experience at work it feels much like the grieving process (shock, denial, anger, acceptance). After feeling all the disappointment, I have to intentionally let that emotion go. Being preoccupied by disappointment can cause us to get stuck. Do any of the following sound familiar?
Taking Your Credit
During a brainstorming session, you share an original concept and your team enthusiastically supports it. At the official launch of the project your coworker presents the idea as their own. What do you do? First, control your emotions. Then gather your date and time-stamped notes just in case you have to prove it was your original idea. For example, flag emails and save meeting minutes (and any other records you can cite as evidence) in a folder on your desktop. Now pull the credit stealer aside and in a private 1:1 meeting say something as non-confrontational as possible like, “I’m happy the client is excited about our idea and I’m surprised you did not mention that it is our joint brainchild. As we move forward, what is your plan for sharing future credit?” If they don’t plan to share credit and if this person is a repeat offender, confidentially ask your manager how they would handle someone who presents other’s ideas as their own.
Losing a Client
When a client leaves it is a blow both to your confidence and your company’s bottom line. After pausing a minute to process the emotions, adopt a learning mindset and get curious. Analyze your data and ask yourself some questions. What went wrong and where? Was there a breakdown in communication? Did the client’s needs or expectations change unexpectedly? Get past the symptoms to pinpoint the root causes so you can prevent similar issues in the future. Take what you learn and apply it to the rest of your clients. For example, if the client left because what they received from you was wildly different than they expected, that indicates you may want to adjust your communication process with your other clients.
Denied the Promotion
You invested your time, energy, attention, and money into developing your skills and all that still was not enough to get the promotion you expected. Again, give yourself a moment to feel your disappointment, then get proactive. Seek feedback from your manager to understand why you weren’t selected. Was it lack of skills? Were the projects you worked on not visible enough to senior leadership? Do you need a sponsor? Determine which variables were in your control and fix those. Be open to constructive criticism and use it as a roadmap for next steps. Identify skills your organization values and strengthen those. Build relationships with people who will champion your work. Publicly committing to bounce back after this disappointment impresses your managers, inspires your coworkers, and makes you a more competitive candidate in the next round of promotions.
Festering disappointment can poison your work environment and stifle your personal growth. Overcoming it requires a combination of self-awareness, proactive communication, and resilience. You have to choose over and over again to control your emotions. With the right mindset and strategies like addressing issues head-on, learning from setbacks, and finding ways to turn negative circumstances into opportunities, you will emerge stronger.
What disappointments have you experienced at work? Please share how you overcame them in the comments.