Someone Is Watching

You probably don’t think of yourself as a role model when you’re answering texts, updating a project plan, or trying to make it through a meeting that should have been an email. But someone is watching how you work. A newer teammate notices how you respond when a deadline slips. A coworker pays attention to whether you share credit. A client remembers how you handled a mistake. A peer may quietly borrow the way you organize meetings, communicate bad news, or protect your time. 

If you think you’re not a role model because you don’t have a fancy title, please think again. You often don’t get to choose to be a role model. You get cast because of how you behave when other people are watching. And yes, they are watching. With a little bit of intention, being a role model can help you get promoted more quickly. Here are five qualities that make you the kind of human other humans want to emulate.

Humility

Humility is being confident enough to admit you don’t know something. Let’s say you’re leading a project meeting and someone asks a technical question you can’t answer. You could bluff your way through it and hope nobody notices. Or you could say, “I’m not sure. I’ll find out and get back to you.” That response builds credibility because people learn they can trust your answers. Humility also shows up when someone else has the better idea. If a teammate suggests a faster process, acknowledge it. If a coworker spots a risk you missed, thank them. It seems counterintuitive, but you actually gain authority by recognizing someone else’s contribution because you’re making it safer for people to speak up.

Empathy

Empathy helps you understand what is happening around the work, not just the work itself. Let’s say a coworker misses a deadline. You could immediately assume they’re careless. Or you could ask them what happened before deciding what the problem is. Maybe they were waiting for information from another department. Maybe their workload changed unexpectedly. Maybe the assignment was less clear than you thought. Empathy requires getting enough context to respond intelligently. If you manage people, empathy is crucial. Before piling another assignment onto someone’s workload, ask what they’re already carrying. Before criticizing a quiet direct report for not participating, consider whether your meeting style gives them room to speak. People will actively try to be on a team whose leader treats them with respect.

Service

Being useful is one of the fastest ways to gain respect. Having said that, resist volunteering for every task until your calendar looks like a game of Tetris. Discern what would genuinely help. Maybe you send a new employee the document you wish someone had given you during your first week. Maybe you explain a confusing process instead of telling someone to check the portal. Maybe you notice a teammate is preparing for a major presentation and offer to review their slides. Small acts of service builds trust and business moves at the speed of trust. When you routinely make someone else’s job easier, it triggers the rule of reciprocity. This is when the receiver feels an urge to return the favor. I trust you to use this superpower for good. 

Leadership

Leadership is what happens when your behavior makes other people better at their jobs. You can practice it long before anyone gives you direct reports. For example, you demonstrate leadership when a project gets messy and you help clarify the next step. When people are frustrated and you keep the conversation productive, you’re leading. When a mistake happens and you focus on correcting the process instead of finding someone to blame, that’s leadership. You also prove leadership by being consistent. If you tell people to protect their focus time, protect yours too. If you encourage people to take vacation, don’t send them twelve messages while they’re gone. If you say everyone’s input matters, make room for it. People notice what you do more than what you say.

Self-Awareness

Self-awareness means paying attention to how you affect other people. You can only improve the behavior you acknowledge exists. For example, do you tend to dominate meetings because you process out loud? Do your direct messages become abrupt when you’re under pressure? Do you insist on being included in every decision because you’re worried something will go wrong without you? None of these habits automatically make you a bad coworker. They become a problem when you never examine them. Watch for patterns. If people stop contributing to the discussion after you speak, ask yourself why. If coworkers regularly misunderstand your requests, look at how you communicate them. If your team seems hesitant to bring you bad news, consider what happens when someone does.

Your Role Model Self-Audit

At the end of this week, ask yourself:

• Did I admit when I didn’t know something?
• Did I try to understand someone before judging their behavior?
• Did I make a teammate’s work easier?
• Did I notice how my behavior affected the people around me?
• Did my actions make it easier for others to do good work?

You don’t need to answer yes to every question. That would be suspiciously perfect. Pick one question where your answer makes you uncomfortable and work on that area next week. You’re building your reputation in hundreds of tiny moments. Every meeting, decision, response, and interaction teaches people something about how you operate. Your goal is to teach them something worth learning.

Who is your role model and why? Please share in the comments.