My mom once said to me, “I feel like I taught you how to be a good mother, but not a good wife.” I hope my husband disagrees with her on that point, but what I know for sure is she taught me how to be a good human. I apply her lessons to my roles as mother, wife, daughter, friend, employee, etc., everyday. I’m surprised how often Mom’s wisdom pops into my head at work. As Mother’s Day approaches, here is some of that wisdom:
People Come First – Mom was 18 years old when I was born. I was an unplanned pregnancy. She could have chosen not to have me. Instead, she raised me while going to college, getting her degree, then working as a nurse. Watching her journey, I decided to wait until I was 30 years old to become a mom. Yes, I watched her life and judged her choices. Your life and choices are being judged too; at your job. Do you put the interests of the company ahead of your own, or do you do as little as possible because that’s all you think it deserves? Do you enable the team’s success, or do you look for ways to take credit for the team’s work? Your manager will make decisions regarding your job performance based both on what you do and what you don’t do. The best practice is to both make sure your manager knows you “took one for the team,” and share credit for the success of the project with the team. Mom put my life ahead of hers. She teaches me that people come first.
Pick Your Battles – My Grandmother turns 90 years old this month and her health is fading. She lives on her own and Mom and my uncle share the responsibility of helping her stay in her house. They sometimes disagree on the best way to handle situations. Sometimes my mother chooses not to fight a battle that, in her place, I would choose to fight. Sometimes she lets my uncle take the lead and handle the task. I was reminded of this recently at the office. I kept getting frustrated with a colleague’s work. I thought, “Why does he do that? “Why doesn’t he do this?” Then I realized my circumstance was very similar to Mom and my uncle taking care of my grandmother. I chose to follow Mom’s lead and not only let the coworker do his job, but also offered to help. He took me up on the offer, which was a lesson in humility, but that is another blog for another time. Anyway, does this sound familiar? Do you have associates that can use your help instead of your criticism? Mom trains me to pick my battles.
Always Choose Generosity – Mom has a friend who is fighting cancer. She spends almost five hours every other week with this friend as she undergoes immunotherapy. Every Easter, Mom and her Sunday school class make “Widow Baskets.” These are filled with goodies they purchase like candy, lotions, and gift cards, then deliver to widowed ladies from her class. Mom volunteers tutoring students ages elementary through High School who need one-on-one attention in a quiet area in order to learn. I could go on, but I’m running out of space here. Does she reap any rewards from this generosity? Yes. People, particularly her Sunday school class, show their appreciation. But that’s not why she does all the things she does. Because she is a Christian, Mom always chooses generosity. At work, look for ways to be generous. Stop typing and listen when your cubicle mate is upset. Help colleagues with projects that are in your wheelhouse. Encourage your coworkers when they are struggling. Is someone’s mom sick? Set a task on your calendar to ask him about her once a week. Compliment your boss on a job well done. Use your company’s employee incentive program to reward team members for helping you. Generosity actually benefits you. People are more likely to help you when, in the past, you’ve helped them. Mom’s example inspires me to always choose generosity.
Be So Good At What You Do That You Are Impossible To Ignore – Mom is a life long learner. I vividly remember as a kid sitting at a desk in our kitchen with a blue colored pencil in my hand tracing veins in a picture of a human skull in Mom’s Grey’s Anatomy Coloring Book. She studied it for one of her nursing classes. Mom loves The Bible and has spent the years since her retirement from nursing studying it. She is also a natural leader. She is a wise communicator with both listening and speaking skills. This combination made her the obvious choice to permanently teach her Sunday school class when the need arose. Also, because of her years of training, Mom has a steady stream of women 40 – 50 years younger than she is asking her to disciple them. Her example taught me to hone my skills, work hard, and produce results. It’s difficult to be a woman in the workplace, but results are genderless. If sales are up 12% because of your efforts, the boss isn’t thinking about whether you are male or female. Be the Subject Matter Expert at something at your job: PowerPoint, customer service, patient follow up, whatever your passion is. If you to study it, practice it, and be the best you can be at it, others (your current employer or your next one) will pursue you. Mom proves you should be so good at what you do that you are impossible to ignore.
It’s Good To Have Hope – Mom has fibromyalgia. This makes every day unpredictable. Stuff gets on her nerves. Literally. She finds ways to cope like art journaling which has garnered her some attention and fans. What began as a coping mechanism has given her opportunity to show others how to use it as a creative outlet. When she faces a difficult day, she moves through it trusting God and hoping tomorrow will be better. She relies on one of my grandmother’s sayings: This too shall pass (again, another blog for another time). Mom’s approach teaches me to keep going and not give up. Don’t you throw in the towel either. Keep going to work. Keep looking for ways to improve process, to please the client, to give value to the customer. Whatever you do for a living, put in the effort and know it will eventually pay off and probably not in the way you expect. Mom shows me that none of us know what the day ahead will bring, but it is definitely more pleasant if you face it with a positive attitude. Mom knows it’s good to have hope.
What about you? What lessons did your mom teach you? Please share them with me here: