There is plenty to be scared of this Halloween from unreal threats like horror movies to real ones like war. Let’s talk about what we can control. What scares you? Heights? Elevators? Networking? If all three, then finish reading this article before you RSVP regrets to your client’s happy hour event on the 20th floor of their office building.
The advice to face our fears goes back at least as far as Ralph Waldo Emerson’s suggestion that conquering a bit of fear everyday is the secret of life. Whether it’s fear of failure, loss, or change, getting out of your comfort zone can help you at work, but why should you and how can you?
Why? Because
You Can’t Avoid Scary Things – Unexpected illness or injury, destructive tornados, the consequences of other people’s decisions, these are setbacks that you cannot control. Setbacks happen and fear tells you they are bad, but fear lies. Setbacks are growth opportunities. They reveal what doesn’t work and that’s valuable data. Like Thomas Edison inventing the lightbulb. Learning to put scary things into perspective helps you navigate your reality.
Facing One Fear Gives You Confidence to Face More – Let’s imagine that you want to quit your job to start your own business and are afraid to tell your partner. Pitch it to them as if they were a client. Their questions may be a good basis for your business plan. Answering their concerns helps you rehearse for meetings with investors and clients. Talking through how you’re going to make the transition gives you a better idea of your timeline.
It Makes You Empathetic – Do you think you’re the only person scared to drive on the highway? I did. Since I began sharing my fear, I’ve encountered at least three other people with the same issue. I partnered with one to face the fear together. We ended up talking about other things that we’re afraid of. It made me more understanding and tolerant (I hope) of people whose fears are different from mine. Will this habit help me be a DEIB ally? (I hope.) I still get nervous driving on the highway, but it no longer prevents me from refusing opportunities like it used to.
How?
Imagine the Worst That Could Happen – Visualize what you would do in that situation. Having a plan gives you confidence.
Affirmations – Once when I had a precarious job, I wrote an affirmation on a sticky note and kept it on the corner of my laptop where my right hand brushed the paper every time I typed. It was a touchstone that helped me keep going when fear attacked.
Put the Work in – Doing what scares you makes what scares you less scary. Start small. For example, to lessen my fear of driving I take roads I previously traveled and tell myself that I’m just going a little bit further down them.
Fear serves a purpose. It helps you identify threats. When you get startled by a loud noise, you typically duck your head because it triggers the acoustic startle reflex we’re born with. This was useful to our ancestors who had to run from rockslides. It’s also useful to employees whose supervisors yell when they’re angry. You should run from them too.
Have you done any scary stuff at work lately? Please share in the comments.