I Have Diabetes. It Doesn’t Have Me

Photo by Donald Tong from Pexels

I’m a (mostly) under-the-radar diabetic. I don’t show any outward signs attributable to the condition. For example: I don’t have to wear a medical alert bracelet and I still have both of my feet. The most common way I’m outed is when someone asks me what the secret to my weight loss is and I choose to tell the truth. Why do I hide it? Because I feel like diabetics are negatively perceived. As if we suffer from this disorder solely due to poor life style choices. Since I keep receiving requests to comment on it, here goes:

How I Got It: I had gestational diabetes (diabetes brought on by pregnancy) so I got a heads up Type 2 diabetes was a strong possibility for my future. After I gave birth, the doctor told me weight was a major factor in the onset of Type 2 and to watch it. So I did. Religiously. I rarely ate a French Fry or a doughnut. For. 20. YEARS. So you can imagine how angry I was to discover after a routine physical that my A1C (the test that measures three months worth of glucose in your blood) came back so high that I was labeled a diabetic and shoved into the matrix. I was prescribed a medicine and told to come back in three months for another test so I could start taking an additional medicine to protect my kidneys from the medicine I was just prescribed. I was handed a glucose monitor and testing supplies, told to stab myself before every meal, and to make an appointment with their diabetic specialist. My head spun. I went to the diabetic specialist and she was a God send. She was the voice of reason. She asked about my habits and lifestyle, then told me the factors that cause diabetes: genetics, weight, stress, and age. She determined my problems were genetics and age. She gave me a simple, but difficult, plan: Severely limit my carbohydrate intake.

How I Manage It: I am regimented. I have a minimum daily water intake requirement. I have a maximum carbohydrate allowance per meal and per snack. I have to watch the clock to make sure I don’t consume too many carbohydrates too close together. I have to measure and check serving sizes. I have to do math. I have to exercise every day. I have to test my blood glucose level on schedule. I have to see a doctor, diabetic specialist, optometrist, and podiatrist annually. I have to treat sugar like poison and carbohydrates like the enemy. I have to take food and water with me everywhere. I have to be extremely self-disciplined. I have to do a lot of meal prep. My diabetic specialist looked at my latest numbers and said, “What do you do, cook?! All the successful ones do.” “I have to,” I said. “Eating out is like negotiating a mine field.” I have to manage my emotions. I actually close my eyes during pizza commercials on TV. I have to resist lashing out at non-diabetics for not understanding how hard it is not to eat foods you love. Unfortunately, I do not always succeed.

How It Has Changed Me: Well, I’m 16 pounds lighter, my belly is always empty, my bladder is always full, and I’m hyper aware of the stigma of diabetes. Have you seen the TV commercials for diabetes drugs? Why are diabetics portrayed as overweight? According to the Center for Disease Control, In 2017, more than 100 million American adults are living with diabetes or prediabetes. So why aren’t there any diabetic friendly restaurants? I’m also a bit short tempered with those who don’t understand the condition and ask questions like: Why can’t you be spontaneous? Why do you have to carry all that stuff? Do you have to take a break right now? I never realized how awkward it is to not eat anything at parties until I couldn’t eat anything at parties. I smile and say no thank you a lot. I often offer to throw away a paper plate with a few crumbs on it that someone is finished with and move slowly to the trash can to make it look like I’m social. Sometimes denial hits: My numbers are so good and so consistent, I wonder if I really have diabetes. Maybe I can eat my hamburger on a bun this time. Then when I do, my number shoots sky high and reality hits. Hard. The bottom line is I’m very fortunate. My diabetic specialist’s plan has worked for two years now and she thinks if I keep working her plan, I can manage my condition without medicine in perpetuity. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go to the ladies room. AGAIN.

If you are a Type 2 diabetic and have advice for me, particularly regarding diabetic friendly restaurants and/or low carbohydrate recipes, please comment here: