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The term “work marriage” has been around since 1987. If you smoothly run a household alongside your partner, then you’ve mastered skills that can be useful in the workplace. It’s normal to transpose your relationships between home and work, but is it a good idea? Let’s explore how we can transfer the skills we learn during long-term romantic relationships to the workplace in a healthy way.
Communication
In both marriage and the workplace, communication can be as clear as mud. For example:
- Your spouse signs all your children’s paperwork for school, so you ignore the permission slip sitting on the dining room table. Two days later you receive an angry text from your spouse because they were called to immediately go to the school and sign an emergency permission slip before your first-grader’s class left for the field trip without them.
- Translating this to the workplace, your project manager updates all your team’s workflows, so you ignore the change pending your approval sitting in your inbox. You receive an angry email from your manager because you missed a deadline.
In both scenarios what we have here is a failure to communicate resulting in a conflict. The conflict resolution tactics you use with your spouse are also helpful in your work relationships. Address issues promptly, avoid blame games, and seek solutions. It helps to remember that the goal isn’t to win an argument, but to improve the process. Be candid yet respectful and open to feedback. When you think you are over communicating, that is actually about the right amount of communication.
Patience
When you’ve been married long enough, you’ve weathered storms and sat through endless sports matches, spelling bees, and talent shows. Transfer this patience to the workplace, where tight deadlines and forgotten passwords can test your nerves. Exercise your emotional intelligence by remaining calm, refusing to panic, and offering support to your coworkers. There are approaches you use to soothe your spouse and allow them to both decompress and process stressful situations. You can apply these approaches in the workplace. Knowing when to both actively listen and when to offer advice makes you a valuable asset in any relationship. Professional boundaries differ from personal relationships, so be mindful that a little strategy goes a long way. Best practice? Less counseling and more curiosity.
Teamwork
How many times have you and your spouse had to decide on a restaurant or a movie? You have plenty of experience in the art of compromise. Apply this to your workplace interactions, where differing opinions are as common as casual Fridays. Finding middle ground leads to creative solutions and demonstrates your inclination to collaborate. Marriage is a partnership, and so is your office dynamic. Just as you and your partner tackle household chores together, cooperating with colleagues should lead to smoother projects and better results. You’re all working towards a common goal. Add value where you can, appreciate your coworkers’ contributions, and celebrate even the smallest progress.
The communication, patience, and teamwork skills you hone over years of marriage can be a blueprint for managing relationships at work, but tread lightly. Adapt these skills to fit the unique dynamics of your workplace without turning it into an episode of Friends.
How do the skills you use to get along with your partner translate to your work relationships? Please share in the comments.