Office Life – Page 4 – mardihumphreys.com

Like Jogging in Three Feet of Water

Being busy is like jogging in three feet of water. We’re working hard, but not getting anywhere. When interpreted, busy usually means we just don’t:

Prioritize
Have the guts to say no
Want to do what needs done
Plan ahead
Want others to not like us if we say no

I’m guilty of all these things. Here’s what I learned.

Prioritize – I make a to-do list then don’t stop to think if the way I’m doing it is the best way to do it. Confused? Me too. (You’re imagining a caged hamster running on a wheel right now, aren’t you?) I prioritize tasks at the beginning of a work project. I seldom revise my list. Who has time to stop momentum for reflection? But reevaluating to-do lists weekly makes time to accommodate unexpected challenges that inevitably arise. This allows me to inject margin into my schedule, which is a big stress reliever.

Be brave – When I stop, observe, question, and listen, I have a better chance of putting all the pieces of the why-I’m-so-busy puzzle together. Unfortunately, sometimes I don’t like the picture the puzzle makes. At that point, I have to ask myself hard questions and answer them honestly: Why is this project so difficult? What can I do differently to achieve the results I want? Is it a big change? Do I need help? Courage to admit I don’t have all the answers can mobilize the team to push the project closer to completion.

Don’t be lazy – Google says the definition of busy is: “having a great deal to do or keep occupied” implying what we’re doing is important. What am I occupying my time with? Chatting with coworkers in the break room? I should be honest when I need a break, but I shouldn’t call it busyness and use it as an excuse to not return email.

Templates are my friends – Sometimes I can’t achieve my goal through sheer force of will. E.g., I can’t force people to buy my company’s service. What I can do is figure out the best plan to connect with potential partners by asking: How can I identify decision makers? How can I make them comfortable enough to tell me what their operational challenges are? How does what we offer relieve the pain points of their business? These questions are a universal roadmap I can follow to help any business.

Other people’s opinions – I once had a demanding coworker with a perpetual list of busy work she expected me to handle for her. Not all of her requests were out of line, but the way she requested them often was. I wanted her to like me, but not if it meant doing parts of her job for her. If it was a task she could do herself, I encouraged and empowered her to do it. (E.g.,“Oh, you need to send a package? Remember to fill out an expense report. You can get reimbursed for both shipping and mileage!”)

Saying I’m busy no longer makes me sound important, it makes me sound like I can’t handle my life.

Under what circumstances do you feel compelled to fall back on the “I’m busy” excuse? Please share in the comments section.

It Depends

Over coffee, a friend asked how my new job was going. I told her my trainer is a former calculus teacher, so I’ve assumed the role of student in order to communicate. She said, “Isn’t it funny how we just do that? How we instinctively alter our personalities? When in Rome…” Which made me wonder, why do we do that? It’s beyond mimicking an arm crossing, leaning in to show non-verbal agreement, or any number of behaviors that help synch us as humans. This behavior actually has a name: situationism. It’s the theory that human behavior is determined by surrounding circumstances rather than by personal qualities. I started researching situationism and it made me wonder a few things.

Do women alter behavior more than men? I didn’t find a definitive answer in my queries. If you’re curious and go searching, please let me know what you find out. I found an interesting (and unsettling) article that counsels women how to communicate with men if they are the only female on a team. If there is demand for articles like this, (and I found far more articles for being the only woman on the team than for being the only man on the team, btw) it leads me to believe women do change our behavior more than men.

Could situationism be a contributing factor to the gender wage gap? This article says the causes of the gender wage gap are female under representation in executive positions, gender discrimination on the job, and socially enforced gender roles. In meetings I’m often the only female in the room. I use gentle persuasion and ask leading questions when I’m trying to prove a point or get the team to act on my ideas. I operate on the you-catch-more-flies-with-honey-than-with-vinegar theory, when what I really want to do is say, “Hey guys, here’s the plan.” This situationism means I’m participating in the socially enforced gender role of sensitive nurturer that keeps women out of leadership positions, but I don’t think I’d succeed as often if I tried to be more dominant.

Is situationism keeping women out of C-Suite positions? Female leadership style is typically leading by example and developing talent. Male leadership is typically more command and control. Women are expected to foster and cultivate which aren’t generally viewed as leadership qualities. Men tend to take charge and try to establish dominance. When women display the aforementioned male qualities, we are viewed negatively. Often as a result of these differences, women can be excluded from out of the office bonding moments, like on the golf course for example. Being left out of informal networking opportunities denies women the chance to connect with potential mentors and/or managers who can promote us.

My friend’s observation led me to some interesting speculations. Please check out the links I’ve provided and explore for yourself. I never thought about situationism before, but it explains a lot, doesn’t it?

Have you ever morphed your personality to better communicate with your coworkers? Please share your story in the comments section.

Boxed In

When anyone asks me how old I am, I reply, “I stopped keeping track at 30.” It feels a bit defensive, but once I’m labeled as of a certain age I’m immediately put in a certain box. I’m hyper-conscious I have two strikes against me in the American workforce: I’m a woman over 35 years old. It’s harder for my tribe to get potential employers’ attention with every passing day. Some of the children who were taught to help old ladies across the street and carry old men’s groceries to their cars have grown into adult hiring managers who label anyone with a touch of grey hair as weak, forgetful, and when they’re your employees, expensive. Three examples come to mind:

1) People are considered elderly at 65 years old, but the full retirement age in America is 67. Rumor has it the retirement age will be raised to 70 pretty soon, so there are plenty of people who need to work for at least three more years and be carried on their employers’ insurance policies. These employees typically use more insurance benefits than their younger coworkers, raising the cost of premiums for all employees. But there are loads of healthy older employees positively contributing to their organization’s bottom line thanks to adopting healthy lifestyles, preventative medicine, and a mindset of perpetual learning; especially about emerging technology. We should be judged on our contributions and considered for the same opportunities as anyone else.

2) The general assumption is older workers require a higher wage. This seems to be especially apparent in the tech sector. Dan Lyons recounts his experience of getting laid off in his book, Disrupted: My Misadventure in the Startup Bubble. He was informed the company could use his salary to hire five kids out of college. But if the company is full of recent graduates, who has the experience and wisdom to guide the team? Where are the mentors? The Subject Matter Experts? These are the people who, when crisis hits, fall back on their training to carry the team and save projects. With the growing interest in encore careers, workers in their 40’s and 50’s are making more lateral moves in terms of salary. We consider benefits like flex-time, working remotely, paid time off to volunteer, and employer paid higher education, at least as important as wages when negotiating a compensation package.

3) Ageism affects everyone. We assume we’re talking about older workers, but remember when you were considered too young to do something? Like rent a car at 22 years old? If we have to be 25-35 years old to be employable in America, we’re headed for an economic crisis. Ageism comes from inside an organization. It’s systematic and terrifying.

We’ll all be in boxes eventually. Cemeteries are full of them. Can we please be judged on our accomplishments and character instead of our statistical potential to drain the company’s resources? How do we combat ageism in our companies without getting fired? I’d love to see your opinions in the comments section.

Going Solo

adult-audience-celebration — Photo by Pixabay from Pexels

Thank you for all the tips you gave me after my post on networking solo. Some of them came in handy at events I recently attended. Like finding someone sitting alone who looked as scared as I felt. It worked! It turned out he works at a business for which my company recently subcontracted. This led to using another tip: find something in common to discuss. With the experience of attending a couple more speed dating type events under my belt, a pattern is emerging. Here are some of their common elements:

Gobs of people on their phones
Carbohydrate loaded snacks
People continuously scanning the room for other people they already know
The chair at the end of the row is always claimed first
Booths stocked with swag to lure attendees into conversation
An extrovert working the room like a circus ringmaster (“Register for our mailing list!”)
Opening remarks asking if this is anyone’s first time (not cool to out us newbies, btw)
Presentations that were WAY too busy (Slides with lists and pictures crowding the screen so badly they are exhausting to read)
Speakers who seemed to be fund raising (Sponsoring a hole for your next golf outing will guarantee me revenue. Really?!)
Microphone issues
Dignitaries telling us how great we were, how they appreciated us, and now go forth and connect!
Help desks staffed by knowledgeable and friendly people

One event offered an app with PUSH notifications which came in handy when one of my scheduled meetings cancelled because that’s the only way I knew it was off. Another event had great signage from the moment I pulled into the parking lot. I made the most connections talking to the vendors, eating lunch with other attendees, and talking to other participants waiting in line around me for our turns at the popular exhibition booths.

These events felt like Kindergarten recess. You walk up to the tetherball pole (in this case a booth). You wait for someone to make eye contact, then you say, “Hi! I’m (Your Name Here), what’s your name?” and the game begins. It’s not so painful since a connection is all you’re looking for. You just need someone who will hit the ball back for a few minutes, am I right?

Any more networking tips for me? What about for following up after an event? Please leave your advice in the comments section.

The Blame Game

Ever think about taking shortcuts at work? Sometimes in weekly meetings with my manager I’d think, “It would just be so easy to blame Joe Sixpack and his long smoke breaks for production being down this month.” When in reality, if I’d made 20 more cold calls two weeks ago, we probably could’ve reached our monthly goal. In that moment, I had to decide whether or not I would be accountable. businessdictionary.com defines accountability as: “The obligation of an individual or organization to account for its activities, accept responsibility for them, and to disclose the results in a transparent manner. It also includes the responsibility for money or other entrusted property.”

Why should accountability matter to you?

Because it directly affects your team’s productivity, efficiency, and morale; particularly when there’s a lack of accountability. Productivity wanes because who wants to work hard next to someone who is lazy then listen to excuses for why his work isn’t done? Efficiency decreases because now your team wonders who has what role: “I thought Joe Sixpack was responsible for ordering inventory, but maybe Jane Merlot really is.” Morale declines because trust is gone and everyone feels the need to constantly protect their rears. But should you account for circumstances beyond your control? Let’s say I actually made those 20 additional cold calls two weeks ago and we still didn’t make our monthly goal. Then what? I still have to acknowledge I didn’t accomplish what was expected, but I’d ask my manager what I can do differently to reach this month’s goal.

How do you demonstrate accountability?

When you make a mistake admit it. If you can come up with a way to not make it again, have that plan ready when questioned about it. E.g.: “For inventory, I ordered 4000 widgets when I meant to order 400. I’ll ask Jane to double check my data entry before submitting the next order.” Don’t make promises you know you can’t keep and keep the promises you make. If you can’t come through, let the team know ASAP. Also brief them on what you’re doing to fix the situation. To track your accountability progress, try journaling. Here’s one that only takes five minutes. Or find an accountability partner. You can keep each other honest and on track to reaching your individual goals. Show your manager you’re serious about accountability with updates during your weekly 1:1s. If your manager doesn’t hold weekly meetings with you, write a status report on your own. What did you spend your week doing? Being able to quickly pull up a report detailing all your past projects could save your job during cutbacks. At the very least, this list makes annual performance review prep super easy.

Once your boss realizes you’re someone who knows they make mistakes and is brave enough to own them, fix them, and not repeat them, she’ll keep coming back to you with projects. A reputation for accountability adds value and security to your position.

What do you do to prove accountability to either your manager or your team? Please share in the comments section below.

Is There Something I Should Know?

When my friend found out I got a job with a company she was familiar with, she said, “Wait a minute. Are you smart? Because these guys are like, Big Bang Theory smart.” No pressure.

She’s right. I work with brilliant people. Everyday I’m reminded of how little I know; which is good. It both keeps me humble and forces me to learn new things. Walking into the office in the morning, I’m blissfully ignorant and full of confidence. Walking out of the office in the afternoon, I’m dolefully aware and have a to-learn list. Feeling like I know something when I actually don’t has a name: Unconscious Incompetence. And it’s dangerous. It prevents me from recognizing certain situations as problems, so I’m unaware I need help solving them. It’s the classic stage one of the learning model.

Right about now you’re asking yourself: “How do I know if I’m Unconsciously Incompetent?” You can get clues by using a process. For example, when your manager gives you an assignment, ask:

Q: What is the project?
A: Proofreading a report.
Q: What does she want done?
A: In addition to grammar and spellcheck, look at comma use and sentence fragments. Track any changes.
Q: When is it due?
A: One week from today.
Q: What should the deliverable look like?
A: A 12 page report in the company’s preferred format.

For bigger projects, give your manager regular status reports so she can course correct and ask her for KPIs. This mitigates the danger of misusing data or unintentionally ignoring important information. It decreases the odds you’ll be perceived as underperforming or at the other extreme, overconfident. This process can reveal what you don’t know. If you have much to learn, you now have time to either acquire the skills you need or reach out to a skilled team member for help before the deadline.

How can you proactively combat Unconscious Incompetence?
– Discover your weaknesses: Ask a trusted coworker where he thinks your blind spots are. Ask a friend what she think your strengths and weaknesses are.
–Take a skills test: like Strengths finder 2.0 (look for it at your local library) or you can take a free course on Lynda.com.
–Find out what skills your company values: These will be your learning objectives. For example: If your company is hiring programmers, learn some basic coding (Also from Lynda.com; it doesn’t have to cost money). There’s no point in learning to basketweave if your company doesn’t sell baskets. Learn a skill that will help you keep your (or get a new) job.
–Reflect: Recall a time you realized you didn’t know something. What did you do then? Did you read a book? Take a class? Interview a coworker who was a subject matter expert? Can you repeat that process in this situation?

Realizing you are Unconsciously Incompetent can be embarrassing at first, but it’s crucial for identifying the next step in growing your career, and that’s exciting!

Ever been Unconsciously Incompetent at work? Please share what you did to bridge your knowledge gap in the comments section below.

You’re Pushing Too Hard

As I was being electronically fingerprinted the other day, (Relax. Plenty of respectable people get fingerprinted for plenty of respectable reasons. :)) I couldn’t make my fingers print. The technician finally took my hand and scanned them herself. “Why can’t I make this work?” I wondered. She said, “You’re pushing too hard.” Story of my life. I’m impatient. I ask God to give me patience, but what He gives me is opportunities to practice it. This must mean patience is a skill we can learn. Here are four ways I’m trying at work:

Flexibility – When my schedule gets out of whack, I stress. My schedule gets whacked a lot. Most of the items on my calendar aren’t as time sensitive as I pretend. For example: I drink 72 ounces of water daily. I like to have it drunk by 3:30PM. It’s silly to be annoyed when I’m still drinking water at 5:00PM. In terms of work, are my self-imposed deadlines realistic? Is the boss going to be more impressed receiving my sales report the day before it’s due or will he be more impressed if my report contains the latest sales figures on the day it’s due?

Keep calm – Losing patience usually means getting angry. So when I feel the emotion building, I ask myself, “Will an outburst make this situation better?” Usually it won’t. Once upon a time I let loose at work and inadvertently hurt five people’s feelings. My relationship with them was never the same after my outburst. Anger is like a virus. If I cough rage all over my coworkers, pretty soon the whole team is upset. I now intentionally stop and think before I act: “Do I need a time out? Do I need to pray? Do I need to take a deep breath?”

Multitask less – Multitasking is an illusion. It actually lowers productivity. I start writing a report, which reminds me to jot down notes for Monday’s meeting, which prompts me to check on my print order, which prompts me to send an email, and pretty soon, I can’t remember which which is which. I get impatient to finish something by the end of the day. I’m trying to complete tasks one at a time. I keep a pen handy to jot down reminders of what still needs done.

Empathize – Life is fast: texts, instant pots, Netflix. We perceive waiting as negative and use that filter to evaluate work situations: “If the client was pleased with my presentation, she’d have gotten back to me by now.” “The boss didn’t return my email. I know he gets it on his phone.” I’m trying to walk in the other person’s shoes. Maybe the client is delayed because she needs to show the presentation to her program manager. Maybe the boss is delayed because he got a fire drill from his boss.

Patience is a sign of emotional intelligence. It’s a valuable, marketable skill. Tenacity is cool, but let’s recognize when we have to give the situation a rest. Pushing too hard sometimes makes things not work; like fingerprint scanners.

What do you get impatient with at work? Please share your stories in the comments section.

Micro vs Macro (Part 2)

Please see last week’s post for the micromanaging discussion. This week, let’s go to the other end of the spectrum.

What do macromanagers look like? At first glance, they seem like perfect bosses. Observing team dynamics helps us spot them: projects veering off track, missed deadlines, and team members who won’t play nice together, probably have a macromanager. They don’t interfere, hover, or prioritize accountability. Sometimes referred to as “hands off” managers, they have a “hire the right people and empower them” philosophy. Team bonding and creativity don’t happen because macromanagers don’t coach their teams. When the project encounters obstacles, egos come out and blame starts, but macromanagers are unavailable to lead their teams through conflict resolution. They force responsibility without authority onto individual contributors by abdicating tasks they should do to the team (e.g., role assignment for presentations: Who’s doing the research? Who’s creating the slide deck? Who is speaking?). Macromanagers leave deliverables open to interpretation. The team completes the project, but the result isn’t even close to what the macromanager wanted.

What if you’re macromanaged? As with micromanagers, communication is key. Meet with the whole team (I can feel your eyeroll. (LOL) I’m not a meeting fan either, but in this case, it’s the most efficient solution.) If your macromanager doesn’t want to explain details or impose order, ask him to at least provide the overall scope. Focus the macromanager on process and help the team accept responsibility for production. Ask follow up questions to help the team decide how to complete the project: Who is responsible for what? How are we going to handle conflict? To whom do we go with questions? Break the project down into smaller goals, assign roles, and set deadlines. Ask your macromanager for clear objectives and KPIs (Key Performance Indicators) to track the team’s progress. Find out what the deliverable should look like and make sure everyone sees it the same way. Schedule periodic one-on-ones with your macromanager to provide updates and course correct if necessary. If these meetings are not weekly, email updates between them and request feedback.

What’s the bottom line? Employees of a macromanager have freedom and opportunity, but without structured leadership, they struggle to develop new skills and effectively collaborate with their team. If your macromanager is unwilling to get involved, is there a team member willing to lead the project? Is the team willing to follow this person? If so, then the team can get work done. Ask yourself: Am I willing to lead this team but let my macromanager take credit for it? Am I willing to lead this team and take blame for it? Am I willing to acknowledge another team member as the leader and follow her? Do I have the resources to do my own professional development? Working for a macromanager is emotionally and mentally draining. If you are up for the challenge, keep good notes for performance review time (and your resume).

Have you worked for a macromanager? Please share your experience in the comments section below.

Micro vs Macro (Part 1)

Which management style is worse:

Too much help vs. not enough?

Territorial vs. letting things slip through the cracks?

Watching your every move vs. allowing coworkers to get away with murder?

The first part of the couplet describes micromanagers; the second macromanagers. While the styles are at opposite ends of the management spectrum, the results are the same. The difference is motivation. For example, micromanagers purposely withhold information forcing the team to act without all the facts. Macromanagers neglect to give information forcing the team to act without all the facts. This week, let’s limit our conversation to micromanagers

What do micromanagers look like? Aka: Helicopter Bosses, Suffocating Bosses, or Hovering Bosses. Words used to describe them: smothering, scrutinizing, criticizing, dictating. They oversee how tasks are done down to the smallest detail. Micromanaging can be too much of a good thing (e.g., bringing structure to chaos) and taken too far. They see themselves as “hands on” and leading by example instead of setting guidelines and following up. They get an adrenaline rush from successfully completing a project. Their constant fact checking and deadline reminders make employees feel inadequate and insecure because either the micromanagers don’t trust us to do our jobs or they don’t trust us to do them correctly. This makes us doubt our decisions and stifles innovation and initiative. Morale drops when they take credit for guiding the team. How are individual contributors supposed to get promoted if the managers take all the credit?

What if you’re micromanaged? Micromanaging is about control. We’re all wired to pursue control, but theirs stem from insecurity. It’s not pretty and it’s not fair, but the path of least resistance is to make micromanagers think they have it. You can do this by offering them choices. Are they afraid of failure? Assure them you are on their team and everyone rises together. Were they burned by a team member who didn’t deliver? Break the project down into goals. Set deadlines for reaching those goals. Schedule one on one meetings a week before deadlines to make sure your project is on track to their satisfaction. If they insist on checking on your progress between one on ones, encourage them to do it through email. After all, you’re just trying to free them up to get their own work done, right? 😉 Is this their first time managing a team? Boost their confidence by anticipating their pain points. Be able to answer the who, what, when, where, why, and how questions surrounding your project.

What’s the bottom line? They are the managers. If they want to course correct your plan, it’s their prerogative. Even if you disagree with their plan and you know it’s going in the wrong direction, you still have to do it. Ultimately, they are held responsible for the team’s successes and failures. Keep emails and meeting notes if you’re concerned they’ll throw you under the bus to their managers if the project fails. If that’s a real possibility, it’s time to get yourself new management.

Have you ever had micromanagers? Please share your stories in the comments section.

Scaredy Cat

“I wanna see you be brave.” Sara Bareilles

I want to be brave, but I don’t want to do stuff that scares me. Can’t I just go to Oz and ask the Wizard for courage? We admire courageous people because they fear inaction more than failure. It’s like writing code. I write a script, compile it, build it, and run it. More often than not the program doesn’t run correctly. So I go back into the script, find what needs fixed, run it again, and keep doing that until it’s right. Programmers expect their programs to fail. Each run reveals new data on what’s working and what isn’t. Let’s develop the same attitude toward life. Often when we do something that scares us, it turns out it wasn’t so scary after all and if it was, we prove we can do scary things leading us to freedom and peace of mind. Courage is a skill we can learn. Here are three ways I’m trying.

“Sometimes what you’re most afraid of doing is the very thing that will set you free.” Robert Tew

I take small steps. I aim to do one thing every day that makes me uncomfortable. Are you shy? Offer to onboard your new coworker. It will give you practice talking to a stranger in a familiar setting. Afraid of driving on the highway? Get on early one Saturday morning. Drive one down exit, get off, and take the surface streets home. Next Saturday get on and drive two exits down the road, etc. After a month, try exiting the highway, then getting back on it to go home. After six weeks, try getting on at a busier time of day. After nine weeks, try getting on during rush hour.

“You get in life what you have the courage to ask for.” Nancy D. Solomon

There’s a fine line between planning and procrastinating. The longer I think about a situation, the more bad outcomes I predict. Sound familiar? Pull out of analysis paralysis before negative thoughts like this get stuck in your head: “If I apply for the assistant manager position, and don’t get it, the rest of the team will think I’m a failure.” We assume others think about us more than they actually do. It doesn’t matter what anyone (except you) thinks. Don’t prevent yourself from getting the position.

“With great risk comes great reward.” Thomas Jefferson

What do you need the courage to do? Stand up to a bully? Change jobs? End a dysfunctional relationship? I’m a big fan of journaling. When I get fear out of my head and onto paper (or screen), it loses a bit of power. Here are some writing prompts: What are you afraid of? Why? What is the worst that can happen? What is the best that could happen? Use your answers to develop the framework for an action plan to conquer your fear. When you complete a step in your plan, celebrate! Effort is worth rewarding. It will take time and practice, but if we persist, we can cultivate the courage to achieve whatever we want.

What do you need courage to achieve? Please share your story in the comments section so we can encourage one another.