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Coworkers and managers influence your decisions. They have plans for you, but do their expectations align with your values, skills, and goals? Influence is a powerful tool that shapes your organization’s decisions, strategies, and culture. As a leader, it’s essential to intentionally decide whom you allow to influence you, but how?
Who You Are Looking For
Stay away from influencers who are negative, office politicians, cynical, and toxic. Look for people who ooze credibility, integrity, and reliability. Seek out people whose life experiences and ideas are different from yours. Surround yourself with individuals who encourage, inspire, and interact with everyone; not just those who can help them get ahead. You want to follow leaders who are committed to building a healthy and productive workplace environment. These may be colleagues with seniority, peers with specialized knowledge, or direct reports whose work ethic you admire.
What You Want From Them
You need influencers who will offer guidance, provide valuable insights, and exert a positive influence on your leadership style. These are not people who tell you what you want to hear. They both challenge and uplift you. They are accountability partners who spark your mutual growth. Align yourself with individuals who tell you the truth in love. You can identify them by the way they ask you questions then allow you space to rethink your opinions. These types of leaders are busy people. Relentlessly respect their time and find ways to bring value to the relationship.
Boundaries
It’s tricky to collaborate as a member of a team and complete your own assignments and avoid becoming a doormat. To maintain this delicate balance, you have to diplomatically manage both your supervisors’ and coworkers’ influence.
Set: Do you have time to complete your report and help your coworker prep for their client meeting? Be realistic about your own workload and deadlines. Does your team share calendars? Can they see when you are busy and vice versa? It is better to be unexpectedly available than to withdraw the help you said you’d give.
Communicate: As Brene Brown says, “Clear is kind. Unclear is unkind.” When you receive requests for help, first express your willingness to collaborate then email your manager and copy the requestor. Ask for clarity on whose project has priority in terms of what is best for the organization. If your manager decides your input is crucial to the project your teammate is working on, and that means you will miss a deadline on your own work, then ask what the new deadline for your own work is.
Protect: When prioritizing someone else’s project benefits you, your teammate, and your company, then it makes sense to move your boundary. But there is always that one person (let’s call them: TOP) who repeatedly asks for help until that task you do for them becomes part of your job description. Every time TOP asks for help, ask yourself: What is TOP’s track record for getting their own work done? Does what TOP wants me to do directly impact our organization’s bottom line? Will this project make me more visible to management and/or clients? Politely decline TOP’s invitation to do their work when the additional task conflicts with your current commitments or if it’s outside the scope of your responsibilities. It’s okay to offer guidance, share your expertise, and encourage problem-solving, but avoid taking on TOP’s tasks. For example, if TOP asks you for prospects, invite them to look at your LinkedIn contacts, filter for their target, and find people they want introductions to. If TOP persists, redirect them to your manager.
What criteria do you use to decide whom you allow to influence you? Please share in the comments.