Father’s Day has me thinking about how patient my dad was.
There was the time I:
- woke the whole house by climbing up in the attic and walking on the creaky floor over my parents’ bedroom early one morning
- overcorrected a turn and drove into a yard at the top of a hill while learning to drive
- flushed an item down the toilet and clogged the septic tank
These mistakes were explained to me (usually) calmly and corrections were requested (usually) just as calmly. He made me feel like I made a mistake, not like I was a mistake. There’s a big difference and it’s easy to miscommunicate. He made sure I knew my imperfections didn’t stop him from loving me. How often do we beat ourselves up because we feel like we failed? Three instances occur to me.
Failed Goals
When setbacks happen at work, it helps to remember our past successes. (If you don’t keep a success list for performance reviews, start. Now.) After reassuring ourselves, let’s reframe. This isn’t a failure, it’s an experiment. Was it a S.M.A.R.T. goal? Can we extend the deadline? Do we need additional resources to reach it? What if we tweak the process? We can analyze the data, then make a decision.
Failed Expectations
I registered to attend a free webinar given by a colleague. It was his second one. For the first one, he requested my help cohosting and I assumed (you know what assuming does) he’d want help again. Then I discovered a meeting scheduled for the same time that I’d rather attend because I’d have an opportunity to invite those participants to a webinar I was presenting the following week. I was disappointed I couldn’t attend the meeting. Then, I thought. “Why can’t I?”
The angel on one shoulder argued with the devil on my other shoulder:
Angel: Because you made a commitment.
Devil: They’ll be another webinar next quarter. Cancel the registration.
Angel: Your colleague will want your help again.
Devil: He hasn’t asked for it.
Angel: But you always put others’ interests ahead of your own.
THAT did it. I decided to attend the meeting instead of the webinar and if people think less of me for choosing what’s best for me, so be it.
Failed First Try
The team shot down my first idea for the website refresh in the project meeting this week. Does that mean I shouldn’t suggest another one next week? Is everyone judging me? Should I give up trying to be creative because I’m obviously embarrassing myself? Truth: my team probably forgot about my idea as soon as they left the Zoom room. I can’t remember what Joe’s big-SEO-lead-magnet-idea-that-tanked at last week’s meeting was. No one is holding our imperfections against us; except us. Let’s throw out our fixed mindsets and adopt growth mindsets. What exactly was it about my idea the team didn’t like? Was there a kernel of the idea they did like? Can I cultivate it and bring a revised idea to next week’s meeting? Struggling reminds us we’re stretching. Let’s not allow our mistakes to define us.
What flavor of imperfection is bugging you this week? Please share in the comments section.