Haters. Don’t you just hate ‘em? Why do people think it’s okay to judge your behavior? I mean, kvetch all you want, but don’t say it out loud. How rude! (Mardi said in her best Stephanie Tanner voice.) Ever feel like some of the things for which you’re criticized are just plain dumb? Here are three things for which you should not apologize:
Taking Time For Yourself: Hang out at Starbucks before work. Skip that invitation to go out in favor of staying in and reading or watching Hulu or napping or whatever. Take a vacation day from work and go to the movies. Attend that personal leadership conference. Book that spa day. Develop that exercise routine. You have both mental and physical limits. You have to refuel. If you don’t, it gets harder to focus on tasks and solve problems. I know it goes against the dominant “do whatever it takes to get the project done” mentality, but working non-stop actually prevents you from getting the project done. When you’re rested you work smarter and not harder. It isn’t just your body that needs rest, your brain has to stop thinking about work in order to reboot. So take a few hours and stop thinking about work. When you return, you’ll be surprised how ready your brain is to think differently about the task you left.
Setting Boundaries: “No,” is a whole sentence. You are not obligated to attend that event, serve on that committee, or mentor everyone who asks. Is it worth your T.E.A.M.? Leaders know their time is precious and limited and they learn how to say, “No.” You demonstrate self-respect when you refuse a commitment for which you know you cannot make time. You absolutely have to say no to situations that endanger your safety or integrity. If you work in an environment that supports work-life integration (handling tasks for your personal life while at work and vice versa), work will infringe on your personal time. It’s difficult not to think about work while you’re at home and sometimes it isn’t practical to leave work at the office. Just like it’s not always feasible to leave what’s happening at home outside the office. Be aware of your level of frustration. When it gets overwhelming, take a break. Identify what needs immediate action and what can wait. Then train your mind to focus only on what needs done and to ignore what can wait.
Spending Money You’ve Saved on Yourself: You work hard for the money (shout out to Donna Summer) so give yourself an allowance every week and let it add up. It takes discipline and restraint to leave that money alone, so when you want to spend it, do so with zero guilt. If you want to buy a necklace, laptop, or Michael Kors handbag, and you have enough cash set aside, do it. In fact, it makes you a better employee. How? You become persistent. You’re motivated to work in order to buy things you want. When you reward yourself, you want to do it again, so you have to go back to work to earn the money to do it. You also learn how to achieve your goals. When you want a promotion, you have to figure out what you have to do to get it and how long it will take. You use the same skills with a purchasing goal. You also became self-aware. What you buy says a lot about what you find valuable. When you identify your values, you can translate that to your job. What excites you about your work? How can you use that to stay motivated to get your job done?
Tell me some things people make you feel like you should apologize for here: