I Am So NOT Ready For This

Photo by Danielle MacInnes on Unsplash
Photo by Danielle MacInnes on Unsplash

“It’s a terrible thing, I think, in life to wait until you’re ready. I have this feeling now that actually no one is ever ready to do anything. There is almost no such thing as ready. There is only now. And you may as well do it now. Now is as good a time as any.” — Hugh Laurie

I work for an energy efficiency implementer. At the end of 2017, my office managed three rebate programs. On January 1, 2018, we launched an additional program. On June 1, 2018, we launched another additional program. For those of you keeping score, that’s five programs to manage. Launching a new program is hard work. Launching two new programs five months apart is like surfing a tsunami. One Friday, I went to a meeting with another team member, my manager, and my manager’s boss to discuss how to improve our processes. When I arrived, the other team member was missing. Turns out she stepped down. So now I assumed the agenda was to figure out how to divide her tasks until we replaced her. Wrong. When I sat down at the conference room table, my manager’s boss offered me a position she’d just created on our team. WAIT…WHAT? The offer was very attractive: responsibilities more in my wheelhouse than my current ones, growth opportunities, etc. My head spun. She told me to take the weekend to think about it. My only thought was, “Is it wise to refuse a job your manager’s boss offered?” Later, I privately asked my manager what she thought my biggest obstacle would be in this position. She said, “Fear.”

Define It: Fear. Such a little word. Such a big emotion. Don’t you just hate feeling like something has taken control of your life away from you? What is fear, really? Isn’t it just risk and uncertainty? If you define the risk and minimize the uncertainty, can’t you, with practice, overcome the fear? Exposing my fear would make me vulnerable, but not exposing it would keep me from taking this promotion. So I took the weekend to think about what I would have to do for this job and why it was scary. I came up with two major fears: rejection and driving. Then I thought about what I would have to do to take fear’s power away.

Deal With It: Anticipation is a double-edged sword. On the one blade, you have fear. On the other you have excitement. The trick is to reinterpret the fear into excitement. In this position I’d have to convince people to participate in the programs. I’d have to communicate in writing, on the phone, and face to face. I’d have to talk to skeptical property managers and small business owners. Rejection was a given. So how do I minimize it? These are great programs. There’s no downside. There’s no catch. And THAT is kinda the problem. How do I convince people that it’s not too good to be true? I’ll be warm, fuzzy, honest, and available to answer questions. I know there will be some people I just won’t be able to convince no matter how hard I try. But, they’re just going to turn me down. They’re not going to kill me. I’ll have to get over it and move on. Maybe I’ll circle back around to them next year with testimonials from the smart people who participated in the program. As for the driving, I’d recently felt that particular fear was negatively impacting my life and I should do something about it. While lunching with a friend, a month or so prior, our conversation had wandered into the deep end and I confessed my fear of driving. Guess what? She has the exact same fear. We then made a pact to face it together. We’d already spent some time thinking about how to achieve that so when this promotion came along, our timetable sped up. We’d already started taking turns driving to places we’ve never been, and now with every excursion, I feel our confidence increasing and our anxiety decreasing.

Delete It: I keep telling myself, “Don’t think just do it.” Just do the job. Just start the car. There is a fine line between preparation and procrastination. I’m a planner. I love to “get ready” for things: work, vacation, writing. But getting ready to do something isn’t the same as actually doing it. In fact, getting ready can prevent me from taking action. Eventually, there’s nothing to it, but to do it. I’m also a bit of a perfectionist. I want to cross every t and dot every i before beginning a project. But I realize life doesn’t work that way and it takes a lot of time. Time I could be building momentum. If I can just build enough momentum, I can keep moving forward. After all, an object in motion tends to stay in motion, right Newton?

Am I still scared? Yes. I don’t feel equipped, but I believe experience will equip me. Successful people start before they feel ready. Richard Branson is a great example. Google him. My fears still haunt, but they are contained. I don’t face them alone, and I didn’t let them stop me from accepting the promotion. Thanks for reading my story! Now tell me yours here: