I had a manager who labeled me with an unflattering nickname. I asked him to stop. He didn’t. He referred to me by this name at the end of a staff meeting once. Only one other person thought it was funny. Unfortunately, that person was also my supervisor. The nickname is just one example of how he treated me. He was one of my managers for over a year. I dreaded going to work, but I needed the employment. Are you in the same boat? What do you do when you have a difficult boss, but can’t quit your job? Here’s what I did:
I Documented EVERYTHING – For example: one Saturday, on my only day off, he texted me at 6:00AM for something that was not an emergency. Not only did I ignore him, I screenshot the time stamped message. I wrote down times and dates and witnesses of our strained conversations. I kept copies of documents that proved what I had done and when I had done it. I looked for male allies because traditionally in that industry when a female employee conflicted with a male manager, she was the one let go. I did not text, email, or put anything in writing that could possibly be misinterpreted. Just because I was paranoid didn’t mean he wasn’t out to get me.
I Did Not Involve Others – I didn’t gossip or complain to sympathetic coworkers. I saved my drama for my mama. (Sorry Mom. Thanks!) I observed the chain of command. I went to this manager with pertinent concerns and questions. I chose my battles carefully. I restrained myself from insubordination. It was uncomfortable, but when he went low, I went high.
I Stood My Ground. Politely – I was not confrontational, but I looked him in the eye when he was. For example: When he lectured me for half an hour then asked why a task he gave me was not completed, I suggested we schedule a regular weekly meeting as well as a daily quiet hour so I could efficiently work on his task list. I requested guidelines for my responsibilities and prioritized tasks accordingly.
I Used My Resources – Eventually, I went to the organization’s HR department, asked for their definition of harassment, and found out what my options were. I identified people whom I wanted as references in my job search. I updated my resume. I took my vacation days to interview for a new position.
Long story, short: My manager lost his job and I kept mine. My documentation and witnesses saved me. I found a wonderful company that offered great pay, benefits, and working environment and I worked for them for several years. Are you currently working for a difficult boss? Don’t give up! Tell me about it here: