Last week we talked about bringing your whole self to work which concentrated on the impression you give. This week let’s talk about your reputation and if the brand you’re projecting is being received the way you intend.
Why do you need to know?
In the 1980’s, Lee Atwater coined the phrase, “Perception is reality.” You may think you are kind, compassionate, and thoughtful, but if your peers, bosses, and clients see you as cruel, harsh, and insensitive; that’s a problem. For example:
- You thought that you were being assertive, but your team mate accuses you of being difficult
- You thought that you were celebrating accomplishments, but your boss suggests you stop bragging
- You thought that you were being diligent, but your client complains your follow up is aggressive.
You can’t control every opinion of you, but shouldn’t you intentionally manage what you can? Every day you’re creating an impression and it affects what projects you get assigned, who you do them with, and even future job opportunities. Your performance is judged not only by what you do, but also how you do it. Your skill at influencing how others perceive you is a key to controlling your career trajectory. This is not manipulation; it’s both personal and leadership development.
How do you find out?
Self-awareness – Much of our behavior is unconscious and habitual. Consider taking an assessment like The Myers-Briggs Type Indicator, DiSC Profile, or Clifton StrengthsFinder. Look for patterns in the data. E.g., Do you behave more dominantly when you’re stressed? Pro Tip: Don’t dwell on the results you disagree with. These tests are snapshots of where you were mentally and emotionally when you took them.
Feedback – Choose peers, managers, and direct reports you trust to give you objective evaluations. Ask them about a specific situation where their reaction was not what you expected. Graciously receive their feedback. Resist arguing and/or accusing them of misunderstanding. There will be at least a bit of subjectivity in their opinions, so evaluate them carefully. Excavate the truth from their feedback, then determine how you will communicate differently during your next interaction.
Reconnaissance – Observe leaders you admire. How do they behave? How do they influence? How do they present themselves in meetings, 1:1s and on social media? Define the traits they have that you want people to associate with you, then model them. E.g., is the leader known for facilitating productive problem solving? Before your next project meeting, think of three open-ended questions that will prompt discussion of how the team can push the project to the next step.
What if you want to change it?
Start Small – Begin with the easiest impression to change and make altering it a S.M.A.R.T. goal. Activate the perception-changing conversation by digging up common ground. For example, is your team full of dog lovers? If you like the same things, it’s a small step to reason that you want the same things (e.g., accomplishing the project you’re working on together).
Advertise – Let team mates know you’re in the process of changing your behavior, and that you’ll periodically ask for their feedback. Leading with vulnerability triggers support. Resist exaggerating. You can’t sustain deception. When it’s discovered, it’s really hard to earn trust back.
Repeat – You’ve trained people to anticipate you’ll react a certain way. It takes time, both for them and you, to unlearn the pattern and replace it with your new one. Participating in team projects is a good way to demonstrate your change. When successful completion depends on working together, your coworkers are motivated to perceive you positively.
It’s all interpretation. If coworkers, managers, and customers see you in a negative light, soon they don’t want to work with you and you don’t want to work with them. You have the power to make your light shine positively.
What do you do to control your narrative? Please share in the comments.