49% of American workers consider their manager a friend. If you job hunt on social media, plenty of your friends know you’re looking, and that’s the point of networking, right? So it’s possible at some point in your career, you’ll work for someone who is your friend. Here are five things you can do to keep both your friend and your job.
Before You Accept the Offer – Go to lunch and have an honest chat. Ask her what she thinks the pros and cons of working together will be. Does she have any hesitations? Is she worried about possible uncomfortable scenarios? Are you? Now is the time to find out. Ask the tough questions: “Will I be the ‘teacher’s pet’?” “Will you be harder on me than on the rest of the team just so it won’t look like I’m the teacher’s pet?” If you take the job, you’ve set a precedent for honest communication.
Grow Thick Skin – Your friend has friends at the office. They may go to lunch or happy hour and not invite you. They have inside jokes. You have to decide whether it’s appropriate to join in or ignore them. If your new coworkers know you and your manager are friends, they may exhibit possessive behavior to see how you’ll react. Practice your poker face and find common ground on which to bond with the whole team.
Intentional Communication – Expectations change and so do boundaries. Meet with your manager at regular intervals (Weekly? Twice a month? Whatever is necessary for clear communication) to clarify hers. For example: When a deadline looms, does she expect the team to work overtime or just the project lead? Or, does everyone take turns covering the switchboard during lunch?
Don’t Take Advantage – If you’ve been friends for years, you know what her hot buttons are. She knows yours too. Just because you know what buttons to push does not mean you should push them. You may get what you want right now, but hurt yourself in the long run. For example: If you feel strongly about a project’s objective, do you know how far to push your opinion without undermining her authority in front of the team? Lay down ground rules for fighting fair before any disagreements pop up.
Beware of Too Much Togetherness – Does she text you at night for status reports? Don’t answer after hours. Does happy hour turn into a briefing on the PowerPoint presentation you’re starting tomorrow? Stop going out for drinks after work. Be selective about how much time you spend together outside of the office and what you do. For example: If you go to a movie together, you select which movie to see or at least where it’s showing. Occasionally take the lead in your friendship, otherwise you’ll fall into the same pattern you have at the office.
Have you ever worked for a friend? What was your experience like? Please share your story in the comments section below.
Rarely works. I have one boss, maybe two in over 50 years of work that were real friends.