More frequently I hear, “You look great for your age,” as opposed to, “You look great.” Sometimes I shop in the junior department to get the right size and I get “the look” from the other shoppers. You know, the look that says, “You’re too old to wear this style.” Men and younger women offer to carry heavy things for me. I lift weights four days a week. I can carry three 12 packs of Caffeine Free Diet Coke, people! When I just wear mascara, I look fine in the mirror, but Snapchat tells a very different story. In getting to know a new coworker, she asked if I had any children. I replied, “Our daughter is a senior in college.” She said, “You still have a child in school?!” Nice. Merriam-Webster defines ageism as “prejudice or discrimination against a particular age-group and especially the elderly.” Did you know there is a longevity revolution? It’s discussed mostly in terms of economy and health care, but I feel like it means, “Hey, we’re all living longer, so stop treating me like I’m irrelevant.” That’s the fear, right? Being irrelevant? Your needs are unmet because you get marginalized? As usual, I have more questions than answers:
Why Is Ageism a Thing? Everyone is getting older by the second. Isn’t it counterproductive to assume someone can’t contribute to society because they’ve reached a certain age? This has been going on a long time, like at least since 1967. Ever heard of “Logan’s Run?” The perception is old people consume resources without contributing to their replenishment. At what age do you think that happens? It depends on how old you are. (Isn’t it ironic?) People 18-29 years old think 60 is old. Middle aged people consider 70 old. People aged 65+ years think 74 is old. We’re afraid we won’t be able to get what we want when we want it. We resent a percentage of our paychecks going to Social Security to support retired people whom we imagine use the money to take a month long trip to the Grand Canyon.
Can You Fight It? You want to work and advance in your career, but your appearance and your resume expose you as a woman over 40 years old. Not only are you fighting a glass ceiling, but now you also have to negotiate a glass floor of hiring managers younger than you who assume you’re neither tech savvy nor value your industry experience. What do you do? Update your resume. It should be one page long. Get an appropriate Gmail address (your.name@gmail.com) and include it in the contact section of your resume. Use a font that is modern and easy to read like Calibri or Garamond. In interviews, if you’re asked a sneaky question, like, “How long do you plan to keep working?” Emphasize how much you enjoy it. Mention things you do that reveal you’re always learning: reading the blogs of famous business thought leaders, using a trendy app, a TED Talk you posted on your social media.
Can You Win? It’s an endless uphill climb. You have to stay engaged, grow thick skin, and develop a sassy attitude. Oprah Winfrey said, “We live in a youth-obsessed culture that is constantly trying to tell us that if we are not young, and we’re not glowing, and we’re not ‘hot,’ that we don’t matter….I refuse to let a system or a culture or a distorted view of reality tell me that I don’t matter.”
What Does Winning Look Like? Getting paid for a job based on your skill, abilities, and experience, and not getting turned away because of how long you’ve been in the workforce. Here’s what winning looks like in the volatile and youth obsessed music industry: The rock band U2 have been together 42 years. Not only do they stay relevant by working with artists like 2018 Pulitzer Prize for Music winner Kendrick Lamar, but they also make money. U2’s 360º stadium tour in Jun 30, 2009 – Jul 30, 2011, made $736,421,584. It is currently the highest-grossing concert tour of all time. These guys are 56 (Edge, Larry Mullen, Jr.) and 58 (Bono, Adam Clayton) years old.
I could spend hours talking about ageism, but we are getting older by the second. If you want to continue this conversation, please use this form to send me a question or comment: