Maybe you were at the wrong place at the wrong time and overheard something you wish you hadn’t. Maybe you received an email that wasn’t meant for you. However it happened, now you know something about a coworker you wish you could forget. So unless you can perform Gilderoy Lockhart’s Memory Charm on yourself, here are four suggestions on how to keep a secret:
Don’t Think About It: If it’s in your head it’s likely to come out of your mouth. Put it out of your mind especially when the coworker in question is around. Do something that diverts your attention: Go to the ladies room, work on the next client presentation, proofread the activity report, watch a puppy video. Whatever the secret is will burden her and there’s nothing she can do about it right now. It isn’t your place to tell her, so don’t. You may feel sorry for her, protective of her, outraged for her, but don’t let your non-verbals betray you. It won’t be a secret forever. When it comes to light, THAT is the time to release your emotions. Until then, keep them in check.
Don’t Tell Other People: You’re not supposed to have this information, so pretend you don’t. If another coworker suspects something and asks you to confirm or deny, don’t fall for it. Juicy gossip is tempting, but almost always hurtful and not just to your coworker. Oprah Winfrey says, “When someone talks to you about other people, know that they’re talking about you behind your back, too.” The last thing you need is a reputation for gossip. You want to be part of the solution, not part of the problem.
Do Be Helpful: A member of your team is being attacked. Part of your job is to protect the team (think Michael Oher in Blindside). If the attack is unjust, then there should be evidence that your coworker is a good employee. Have you received emails congratulating the team on a job well done? Flag them for future reference. Did a customer tell you he appreciated your coworker’s help? Ask him to email the manager his comment. Building people up not only helps them, but also makes you look good.
Do Be There For The Big Reveal: The thing about office secrets is they don’t stay secret for long. Not even in Vegas. So after this secret is revealed, be a support to your coworker. A chain is only as strong as it’s weakest link and right now your weakest link is your coworker. It’s in your best interest to not let the team falter because of this distraction. If the criticism is founded, gently identify how she got into this mess, figure out how to prevent it from happening again, then encourage her and the rest of the team to rally and repair any damage. If the criticism is not founded, now is the time to remind her of what she’s doing right, stay focused, and in the immortal words of Taylor Swift, “shake it off.”
Have you had to keep a secret at work? Share your story here: